Disclaimer: See first chapter
Rating: PG-15
Chapter Five: Josie
They just don't understand, Josie thought to herself as she dashed toward the double doors to the crowded ER, pushing past those in the waiting room as she went. They don't get it. They weren't there, or else they would understand...
Josie's hands found the door and she pushed it open violently, finally reaching the outside where she exhaled deeply a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She inhaled of the fresh summer air, letting the cleansing oxygen fill her lungs. She almost felt dizzy with relief from being free from the stifling atmosphere inside Mercy Hospital. Something there was bothering her... she couldn't yet put a name to it, but she knew it was there, and when Josie had a feeling she knew there had to be something irregular behind it. It was always the same.
Something was going on. And Josie would figure out what it is.
She walked swiftly forward, toward the busy road nearby the ambulance bay. She walked close to the edge of the sidewalk and stuck out her thumb awkwardly, hoping to flag down a taxi. Her mind was clouded with indistinguishable visions, emotions she couldn't put a name or motive to... but she was confident she would get to the bottom of it all... if she could just get a cab.
"Are you thinking of hitchhiking all the way home?" A voice asked behind her. Reluctantly Josie turned her head in a slight gesture to see Professor Zachary standing by her, arms folded, a slightly bemused look on his face.
"Actually, I was hoping to hail a cab." Josie answered soberly.
"It might be kind of hard to convince one to take you all the way back to Blake Holsey without any cab fare."
"I have five bucks."
"Well, five bucks... That *might* get you as far as that stoplight down there, in this traffic."
Josie sighed and turned to face her teacher after a minute. "I'm not going back inside of that hospital, Z'. I can't."
"Alright. I won't make you." Zachary answered simply.
"You—what?" Josie asked, surprised.
"I won't make you do anything you really don't want to do, Josie. And I won't try to convince you right now, if it'll make you feel better. In fact, I'll take you back to the school myself, if you want."
"But—But what about Corrine and Vaughn, Marshall—?"
"They can handle themselves for a few hours." Zachary answered. "Besides, there are some teachers there right now, and more are bound to arrive later. They'll be fine." He paused. "It's you I'm worried about."
"I'm fine Professor Z'. I don't need anyone's 'help.' I just want to get back to the school." Josie's vision wandered again, this time to some indiscriminate point. "I have a theory."
"A theory." Zachary cocked his head slightly. "Odd time for speculation and conjecture."
"Can we just go now?" Josie asked.
Zachary nodded slowly, reassuringly. "Sure."
The ride home was entrenched in silence. Josie was thankful Zachary didn't try to coax anything out of her. Although a thousand questions were running through her head, she really wasn't willing to speak any of them aloud. When they got back, they had to pass by the police officers standing outside the building, keeping watch. Most of the officers inside had gone, as well as all the paramedics and firefighters. The pair was sent around to the side entrance, as the main one was taped off from the public.
Once inside the building, Josie stood still, reflecting on her surroundings, staring off down the hall absently where so much pain had been inflicted on people she knew and cared about just a few hours earlier.
Zachary was talking to one of the police officers, about what, Josie didn't know. She wasn't even trying to listen in. It just didn't seem important.
He joined her, standing by her side, but instead of focusing on his surroundings, oddly calm for that time of day as he was well familiar, he focused on the petite redhead who seemed to be lapsing back into her silent musings.
"The officers said we can leave the campus as we like now. Some students and teachers headed over there to... check on friends and family members... Most are in their dorms... Students are instructed to stay in the dormitory wing for the rest of the evening, until they decide it's OK to be walking around. I don't think they want any of you to have to see— Well, you understand, don't you, Josie?"
"Oh— sure, yeah. I'm kind of tired anyway. I was thinking about going up to the room, maybe taking a nap. I'm really tired." Josie rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Got a few things to mull over, y'know?"
Zachary looked skeptical, but he nodded reluctantly. "Alright, but you promise you'll stay in your room like they asked?"
"Of course, Z'." Josie forced a grin.
"OK then, I'll come and check on you again in an hour or so, see if you need anything, OK?" Josie nodded as she turned to walk away. "Oh and Josie—"The redhead turned in mid-step waiting for her teacher to continue. "Take it easy, Josie."
"Sure thing." Josie continued on her way, past the closed doors of the classrooms that had been abandoned. The entire atmosphere of the school was one of eerie calm and dead silence and Josie couldn't help but feel intimidated. She turned a corner, her breath coming in shorter and more franticly, and finally dashed the last few yards of the hallway and took the stairs two at a time, arriving at her corridor and finally slowing her pace. She saw students in their rooms as she passed, some with friends and some alone.
Josie didn't even think about finding a friend to be with her at the time. She just wanted to be alone. Besides, all her friends were at the hospital anyway, and after what she had done, she doubted any of them would want to be with her right now, especially Corrine.
Don't think about that right now, Josie thought to herself. You promised yourself you wouldn't.
Josie found her room near the end of the hall and went inside, walking straight to her dresser. She opened it up, grabbed some fresh clothes, and quickly changed and pulled her hair into an untidy ponytail. As she tugged the ponytail holder into place, she glanced up and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, stopping for a moment out of shock.
She looked terrible. Her face was drawn, her eyes were bloodshot and there was a pale tint to her cheeks that were usually so pink and vibrant with life. What's wrong with me? She wondered. No wonder my friends were worried about me...
But there was no time to think about that, Josie decided. There was something she needed to check out. She closed the door to her dorm quietly and took a back stairwell down to the second floor where the library was.
No one was in the second floor corridor, as she had guessed, but nonetheless she walked briskly, her footsteps echoing along the empty passageway, and quietly slipped through the door to the Blake Holsey High media center, allowing the door to shut mutely behind her.
She walked over to the row of computers that were meant for student use and logged into one, opening up the Google search engine. She stared tentatively at the screen for a few seconds, glanced over her shoulder once, then back at the screen, fingers poised over the keyboard. Decisively she typed in the word "insanity" and pressed enter.
A list of a couple thousand websites appeared on her screen and Josie sighed wearily. This is going to take a while... She looked toward the still- closed door to the library one more time before settling into her chair and getting to work.
It was over an hour and a half before Josie would be found and she wasn't the least bit surprised to see that it was Professor Zachary that discovered her, a look of relief washing over his face as he hurried across the library to where Josie was pacing behind a table.
"Josie, there you are. I've been looking all over the school for you. I—"Zachary stopped mid-sentence as he took in all the papers scattered about, on the table, on the floor, in Josie's hands. A couple books had been removed from their places and were strewn about the mess, lying open and unheeded. Josie was pacing still, a look in her eyes that Zachary couldn't quite define. There was determination there, and satisfaction too, and a little bit of something else, some unresolved emotion...
Josie turned to look at her teacher for only the briefest of moments before continuing to mess around with the papers in her hands. "Sorry, Z'. I was going to tell you where I was going but I knew if I had then you wouldn't have let me go." She spoke with quick, hurried tones, the words spilling out of her.
"Well of course I wouldn't have... Josie, I told you, you weren't supposed to leave the room. I looked all over this school for almost an hour. I was worried that you might have— Josie what are all these papers for anyway?"
"I did a little research, Z'. Looked up 'insanity', and 'mental diseases' and I found out a few things! In most cases, insanity is caused by mental disorders such as schizophrenia, but not always. Extremely traumatic experiences can be another cause for insanity, but I couldn't think of how that would work with my theory, then I found out that some drugs can cause temporary insanity, so I looked up a few—"
"Josie, what is this all about?" Zachary asked her impatiently. He was becoming even more bothered by his pupil's agitated tone and wanted to get to the bottom of what exactly was bothering her.
Josie brushed off his concern and thrust the papers at her teacher. "Some of those drugs would NOT be too hard to get your hands on, Professor. It's entirely possible that we have something like that in the school that you don't know about or if not there, then Pearadyne Labs is bound to have access to these drugs. Z', what if Chris Ghent was slipped some of these drugs and, and—"
"And what, Josie?" Zachary gave her a concerned look. "Why would Pearadyne Labs, would Victor Pearson want to do that when he could put his son in danger?"
"I haven't figured that out yet. Maybe he didn't know what it would do, maybe he wanted the drugs for something else... Look the point is that there could be an explanation for this, and I'm going to find it, Z'. I'm going to find out what went wrong."
Zachary stared at the papers in his hands for a few minutes then set them down, sighing sadly. "Josie, I'm very worried about you today."
"What do you mean, Z'?" Josie began to gather her collection of papers in one pile and close the text books lying on the table. She hardly took any notice of her teacher.
"All ... All this, quite frankly. This is not how most people tend to deal with tragedy and I'm afraid you're making things harder on yourself by not accepting that this was a tragic incident that you have to learn to deal with."
Josie finally acknowledged her teacher by looking up at him. "I know what this is." She said with conviction. "There's just one more thing I have to look at before I can be sure. One more person I need to talk to—"
"And then what, Josie?" Zachary stared at the redhead. "And then what?"
Josie opened her mouth to speak then closed it. Finally she answered quietly, "I don't know. I—I guess I haven't really gotten to that part yet. But I suppose I can cross that bridge when I get there. For right now, I have to go and find someone—"
"No one will be able to explain this the way you want them to, Josie. They won't see things your way, no matter how much you think they will."
"You don't know that, Z'. There's got to be someone in this school who knows what's really going on, I'm sure of it. Weird things happen all the time at Blake Holsey High, why should this time be any different?"
Zachary caught her arm as she ran past him with the papers in her hands. "Josie, please. Just listen to me for a minute. You've got to understand something." His eyes met with her moist ones and he held the gaze. "You think that this is something that can be explained through the internet or through a text book but it's NOT, Josie! Not everything has a perfectly logical explanation as to why it occurred. Some things... Some things just happen, and science can't explain them, no matter how much one person really wants it to!"
Neither of them spoke for a few prolonged moments of silence before Zachary released Josie's arm and she stood still for a moment, tears sliding down her cheeks, unheeded. Finally she looked back at her teacher. "No. You're wrong, Z'. Haven't you ever felt you were right about one thing and knew that it was true no matter how many people told you you were wrong? I know I'm right about this, Z', and I'm going to prove it to you."
With that the redhead turned and rushed out of the library, still clutching her stack of papers. Zachary tried to run after, "Josie! WAIT!" But the teenager was already gone by the time he reached the hall, and he had no idea which way she'd turned. He was too late.
Just keep looking, Josie told herself upon reaching another dead end. Just keep looking for him and you'll find him eventually. He's always here. He lives here. It's not like he needs another job somewhere else. He's got to be here...
As Josie told herself this, she turned another corridor and descended down another flight of stairs. She was in the basement now, and a whole new maze of hallways confronted her. She hadn't come down here many times before, but she had an idea where to start.
She jogged down the hallway, stack of papers in hand, and noticed at the end of the hall, exactly what she'd been looking for: the janitor's office. She dashed up to the door, turning to enter... and ran into something big, falling down on the ground, the papers scattering everywhere. Startled, Josie didn't react at first, then a hand was extended to her and she looked up to see the janitor himself, looking down at her. She took his hand and righted herself, brushing herself off before facing him.
The janitor looked down skeptically at the papers now all over the floor outside his office. "You know, you're not really making my job any easier." He joked, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Sorry..." Josie croaked, blinking as if she didn't realize where she was anymore. Tears she feared she could not hold back anymore were threatening to fall from her wide eyes.
"I don't get a lot of students down here," He said idly. "Are you OK?"
"No." Josie shook her head. "No, I think I'm lost... and I'm afraid no one will be able to find me and I need your help."
The janitor averted his gaze for a moment. "I'll do what I can."
"You know." Josie said in an accusatory voice. "You know what's going on here – you always know what's going on. I don't know how you know but you do." The janitor remained impassive. "I've never pushed you for answers before but this time it's different. I want to know what's going on in our school. I want to know why this had to happen!"
The janitor was stoic. "I can't tell you why this happened."
"But WHY?! WHY can't you tell me what happened? What is your big secret anyway?"
"No, you don't understand." The janitor shifted, setting his mop down next to him and looking at her steadily. "I can't tell you because I can't give you one reason why this happened."
"What do you mean?" Josie was stricken.
The janitor sighed. "I don't know why this happened, but it didn't have anything to do with this school, Josie. It had to do with people, one extremely troubled person in particular. He acted completely of his own volition today."
"No. No, I don't believe it." Josie said. "I can't accept that. Strange things are always happening at Blake Holsey. Black Hole High, that's why we call it that – and don't pretend like you don't know that because you've been there for every weird thing that's happened. You knew what was really going on then and you know what's really going on now. You just refuse to tell me!" Josie could feel the tears streaming down her face now. She couldn't hold them back anymore and she didn't want to.
"I'm not lying to you, Josie. Christopher Ghent was not affected by the strange occurrences in this institution. He was not poisoned by outside forces or convinced by anyone but himself to take the actions he committed today." Josie was shaking her head. The janitor waited until he got her attention again. "Some things just happen, Josie. You have to learn to accept that."
Professor Zachary's words came back to her then, hitting her hard. Josie couldn't take it anymore. "I still don't trust you. You've never given me any reason to."
"I'm sorry, Josie." He said it with a calm, quiet voice and Josie instantly knew that it was sincere. Suddenly she couldn't take it anymore – she had to get out of there, she had to leave that place, that school, and just keep running—
"I—I've got to go." Without any more words, the girl ran off back the way she'd come, no longer heeding anything, just searching for her safe place. She pushed open the doors to the stairwell, sobbing freely now, and dashed up them, leaving a very pensive janitor behind, staring after her sympathetically.
Josie kept running until she reached the first floor where she was relieved to see a familiar face. "Josie!" Professor Zachary ran up to his sobbing student, who looked like she either wanted to keep running or collapse on the floor in grief. "Josie, what's the matter?" He pulled the girl into his arms, embracing her warmly. At first Josie tried to push away but gave up and cried into his shoulder, really letting herself go for the first time since the incident.
"Oh God, Z. Why did this have to happen? Why did this happen here, to all of us? No one deserves to die. Not Marshall, not Madison, not even Chris Ghent. Why won't anyone tell me what happened here?"
"Shh, it's alright, Josie. It'll be OK." Zachary comforted. "I don't know. Nobody knows. If I could explain it in words you'd understand I'd teach it to you, you know I would but I can't. No one can."
It was several minutes before Josie could pull away, sniffling and rubbing her reddened cheeks with her sleeve. She had calmed down considerably, and held herself awkwardly as she stared off into space again. "I know." She finally admitted in a heavy voice. "I know there's no explanation. I just kept hoping that there would be; hoping to find something to explain it all... but there's no way to explain it. I just don't know if I can accept that yet." She sighed and Zachary allowed her to continue. "I should apologize to Corrine. And Vaughn. I didn't mean to run out on them... and on Marshall... But Corrine doesn't understand. She didn't see—"
"See what, Josie?"
Hesitantly, Josie began. "We were so scared when he heard those gunshots. We wanted to get out of the bathroom but we couldn't open a window so we ran into the farthest stall and locked ourselves in. We hid in there for almost twenty minutes. I thought I was holding Corrine's hand to make her feel safe but I think she was holding mine for the same reason.
"We didn't move from that spot until the police came and opened the door and found us. We heard them before that but we were too scared to come out. We couldn't, not until someone proved to us that everything was OK. We were wondering where our friends were. We wanted to go find them, but they told us to go into this one room and they wouldn't tell us what happened. We were so confused, Z', and it made us even more scared and alone, and I tried to see if I could look into the cafeteria, if I could see Vaughn or Marshall or Lucas, but there were so many people... and so much blood.
"Oh God, Corrine didn't see, I know she didn't because I looked at her and she was looking at the police officers, but then I looked back... and I saw Madison's body. She had been shot more than once and I couldn't tell how many times because there was so much blood... And her eyes... her eyes were still open, Z'. She was trying to see but she couldn't because he killed her and she'll never see anything again. She'll never have the chance to be rude to me anymore, or—or take Vaughn from me or do ANYTHING because she's dead. She's dead Z', and she'll never grow up and have children of her own, little mini-Madisons to turn into evil cheerleaders. She had her life taken away from her in such a short instant and it's not fair, Z'. She didn't deserve to die!"
Zachary didn't respond, didn't say anything, so Josie continued. "And at the hospital I just kept thinking about how if Corrine had seen... if she had looked and seen Madison's body being covered with a sheet so she was really blind that she would understand why I was being such a bitch, but then I realized that I don't want her to have seen that. I would never wish that on my best friend; I only wish she'd understand."
"Josie, she will understand. If you tell her, she'll understand. You have to have faith in your friends in a time of need, believe that they'll come through for you."
"But what if she doesn't?" Josie sniffed.
"She will. She's your best friend. You two are polar opposites but you've always been able to understand each other, and you've always been there to save each other."
Josie looked back up to her teacher, nodding slowly. She looked toward the direction of the front hall then at the floor. Finally she met with her teacher's eyes once more. "Professor Z'?"
"Yes, Josie?"
"Can you take me back to the hospital now? I want—I want to see if Marshall's OK."
Zachary smiled. "Of course I will."
Rating: PG-15
Chapter Five: Josie
They just don't understand, Josie thought to herself as she dashed toward the double doors to the crowded ER, pushing past those in the waiting room as she went. They don't get it. They weren't there, or else they would understand...
Josie's hands found the door and she pushed it open violently, finally reaching the outside where she exhaled deeply a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She inhaled of the fresh summer air, letting the cleansing oxygen fill her lungs. She almost felt dizzy with relief from being free from the stifling atmosphere inside Mercy Hospital. Something there was bothering her... she couldn't yet put a name to it, but she knew it was there, and when Josie had a feeling she knew there had to be something irregular behind it. It was always the same.
Something was going on. And Josie would figure out what it is.
She walked swiftly forward, toward the busy road nearby the ambulance bay. She walked close to the edge of the sidewalk and stuck out her thumb awkwardly, hoping to flag down a taxi. Her mind was clouded with indistinguishable visions, emotions she couldn't put a name or motive to... but she was confident she would get to the bottom of it all... if she could just get a cab.
"Are you thinking of hitchhiking all the way home?" A voice asked behind her. Reluctantly Josie turned her head in a slight gesture to see Professor Zachary standing by her, arms folded, a slightly bemused look on his face.
"Actually, I was hoping to hail a cab." Josie answered soberly.
"It might be kind of hard to convince one to take you all the way back to Blake Holsey without any cab fare."
"I have five bucks."
"Well, five bucks... That *might* get you as far as that stoplight down there, in this traffic."
Josie sighed and turned to face her teacher after a minute. "I'm not going back inside of that hospital, Z'. I can't."
"Alright. I won't make you." Zachary answered simply.
"You—what?" Josie asked, surprised.
"I won't make you do anything you really don't want to do, Josie. And I won't try to convince you right now, if it'll make you feel better. In fact, I'll take you back to the school myself, if you want."
"But—But what about Corrine and Vaughn, Marshall—?"
"They can handle themselves for a few hours." Zachary answered. "Besides, there are some teachers there right now, and more are bound to arrive later. They'll be fine." He paused. "It's you I'm worried about."
"I'm fine Professor Z'. I don't need anyone's 'help.' I just want to get back to the school." Josie's vision wandered again, this time to some indiscriminate point. "I have a theory."
"A theory." Zachary cocked his head slightly. "Odd time for speculation and conjecture."
"Can we just go now?" Josie asked.
Zachary nodded slowly, reassuringly. "Sure."
The ride home was entrenched in silence. Josie was thankful Zachary didn't try to coax anything out of her. Although a thousand questions were running through her head, she really wasn't willing to speak any of them aloud. When they got back, they had to pass by the police officers standing outside the building, keeping watch. Most of the officers inside had gone, as well as all the paramedics and firefighters. The pair was sent around to the side entrance, as the main one was taped off from the public.
Once inside the building, Josie stood still, reflecting on her surroundings, staring off down the hall absently where so much pain had been inflicted on people she knew and cared about just a few hours earlier.
Zachary was talking to one of the police officers, about what, Josie didn't know. She wasn't even trying to listen in. It just didn't seem important.
He joined her, standing by her side, but instead of focusing on his surroundings, oddly calm for that time of day as he was well familiar, he focused on the petite redhead who seemed to be lapsing back into her silent musings.
"The officers said we can leave the campus as we like now. Some students and teachers headed over there to... check on friends and family members... Most are in their dorms... Students are instructed to stay in the dormitory wing for the rest of the evening, until they decide it's OK to be walking around. I don't think they want any of you to have to see— Well, you understand, don't you, Josie?"
"Oh— sure, yeah. I'm kind of tired anyway. I was thinking about going up to the room, maybe taking a nap. I'm really tired." Josie rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Got a few things to mull over, y'know?"
Zachary looked skeptical, but he nodded reluctantly. "Alright, but you promise you'll stay in your room like they asked?"
"Of course, Z'." Josie forced a grin.
"OK then, I'll come and check on you again in an hour or so, see if you need anything, OK?" Josie nodded as she turned to walk away. "Oh and Josie—"The redhead turned in mid-step waiting for her teacher to continue. "Take it easy, Josie."
"Sure thing." Josie continued on her way, past the closed doors of the classrooms that had been abandoned. The entire atmosphere of the school was one of eerie calm and dead silence and Josie couldn't help but feel intimidated. She turned a corner, her breath coming in shorter and more franticly, and finally dashed the last few yards of the hallway and took the stairs two at a time, arriving at her corridor and finally slowing her pace. She saw students in their rooms as she passed, some with friends and some alone.
Josie didn't even think about finding a friend to be with her at the time. She just wanted to be alone. Besides, all her friends were at the hospital anyway, and after what she had done, she doubted any of them would want to be with her right now, especially Corrine.
Don't think about that right now, Josie thought to herself. You promised yourself you wouldn't.
Josie found her room near the end of the hall and went inside, walking straight to her dresser. She opened it up, grabbed some fresh clothes, and quickly changed and pulled her hair into an untidy ponytail. As she tugged the ponytail holder into place, she glanced up and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, stopping for a moment out of shock.
She looked terrible. Her face was drawn, her eyes were bloodshot and there was a pale tint to her cheeks that were usually so pink and vibrant with life. What's wrong with me? She wondered. No wonder my friends were worried about me...
But there was no time to think about that, Josie decided. There was something she needed to check out. She closed the door to her dorm quietly and took a back stairwell down to the second floor where the library was.
No one was in the second floor corridor, as she had guessed, but nonetheless she walked briskly, her footsteps echoing along the empty passageway, and quietly slipped through the door to the Blake Holsey High media center, allowing the door to shut mutely behind her.
She walked over to the row of computers that were meant for student use and logged into one, opening up the Google search engine. She stared tentatively at the screen for a few seconds, glanced over her shoulder once, then back at the screen, fingers poised over the keyboard. Decisively she typed in the word "insanity" and pressed enter.
A list of a couple thousand websites appeared on her screen and Josie sighed wearily. This is going to take a while... She looked toward the still- closed door to the library one more time before settling into her chair and getting to work.
It was over an hour and a half before Josie would be found and she wasn't the least bit surprised to see that it was Professor Zachary that discovered her, a look of relief washing over his face as he hurried across the library to where Josie was pacing behind a table.
"Josie, there you are. I've been looking all over the school for you. I—"Zachary stopped mid-sentence as he took in all the papers scattered about, on the table, on the floor, in Josie's hands. A couple books had been removed from their places and were strewn about the mess, lying open and unheeded. Josie was pacing still, a look in her eyes that Zachary couldn't quite define. There was determination there, and satisfaction too, and a little bit of something else, some unresolved emotion...
Josie turned to look at her teacher for only the briefest of moments before continuing to mess around with the papers in her hands. "Sorry, Z'. I was going to tell you where I was going but I knew if I had then you wouldn't have let me go." She spoke with quick, hurried tones, the words spilling out of her.
"Well of course I wouldn't have... Josie, I told you, you weren't supposed to leave the room. I looked all over this school for almost an hour. I was worried that you might have— Josie what are all these papers for anyway?"
"I did a little research, Z'. Looked up 'insanity', and 'mental diseases' and I found out a few things! In most cases, insanity is caused by mental disorders such as schizophrenia, but not always. Extremely traumatic experiences can be another cause for insanity, but I couldn't think of how that would work with my theory, then I found out that some drugs can cause temporary insanity, so I looked up a few—"
"Josie, what is this all about?" Zachary asked her impatiently. He was becoming even more bothered by his pupil's agitated tone and wanted to get to the bottom of what exactly was bothering her.
Josie brushed off his concern and thrust the papers at her teacher. "Some of those drugs would NOT be too hard to get your hands on, Professor. It's entirely possible that we have something like that in the school that you don't know about or if not there, then Pearadyne Labs is bound to have access to these drugs. Z', what if Chris Ghent was slipped some of these drugs and, and—"
"And what, Josie?" Zachary gave her a concerned look. "Why would Pearadyne Labs, would Victor Pearson want to do that when he could put his son in danger?"
"I haven't figured that out yet. Maybe he didn't know what it would do, maybe he wanted the drugs for something else... Look the point is that there could be an explanation for this, and I'm going to find it, Z'. I'm going to find out what went wrong."
Zachary stared at the papers in his hands for a few minutes then set them down, sighing sadly. "Josie, I'm very worried about you today."
"What do you mean, Z'?" Josie began to gather her collection of papers in one pile and close the text books lying on the table. She hardly took any notice of her teacher.
"All ... All this, quite frankly. This is not how most people tend to deal with tragedy and I'm afraid you're making things harder on yourself by not accepting that this was a tragic incident that you have to learn to deal with."
Josie finally acknowledged her teacher by looking up at him. "I know what this is." She said with conviction. "There's just one more thing I have to look at before I can be sure. One more person I need to talk to—"
"And then what, Josie?" Zachary stared at the redhead. "And then what?"
Josie opened her mouth to speak then closed it. Finally she answered quietly, "I don't know. I—I guess I haven't really gotten to that part yet. But I suppose I can cross that bridge when I get there. For right now, I have to go and find someone—"
"No one will be able to explain this the way you want them to, Josie. They won't see things your way, no matter how much you think they will."
"You don't know that, Z'. There's got to be someone in this school who knows what's really going on, I'm sure of it. Weird things happen all the time at Blake Holsey High, why should this time be any different?"
Zachary caught her arm as she ran past him with the papers in her hands. "Josie, please. Just listen to me for a minute. You've got to understand something." His eyes met with her moist ones and he held the gaze. "You think that this is something that can be explained through the internet or through a text book but it's NOT, Josie! Not everything has a perfectly logical explanation as to why it occurred. Some things... Some things just happen, and science can't explain them, no matter how much one person really wants it to!"
Neither of them spoke for a few prolonged moments of silence before Zachary released Josie's arm and she stood still for a moment, tears sliding down her cheeks, unheeded. Finally she looked back at her teacher. "No. You're wrong, Z'. Haven't you ever felt you were right about one thing and knew that it was true no matter how many people told you you were wrong? I know I'm right about this, Z', and I'm going to prove it to you."
With that the redhead turned and rushed out of the library, still clutching her stack of papers. Zachary tried to run after, "Josie! WAIT!" But the teenager was already gone by the time he reached the hall, and he had no idea which way she'd turned. He was too late.
Just keep looking, Josie told herself upon reaching another dead end. Just keep looking for him and you'll find him eventually. He's always here. He lives here. It's not like he needs another job somewhere else. He's got to be here...
As Josie told herself this, she turned another corridor and descended down another flight of stairs. She was in the basement now, and a whole new maze of hallways confronted her. She hadn't come down here many times before, but she had an idea where to start.
She jogged down the hallway, stack of papers in hand, and noticed at the end of the hall, exactly what she'd been looking for: the janitor's office. She dashed up to the door, turning to enter... and ran into something big, falling down on the ground, the papers scattering everywhere. Startled, Josie didn't react at first, then a hand was extended to her and she looked up to see the janitor himself, looking down at her. She took his hand and righted herself, brushing herself off before facing him.
The janitor looked down skeptically at the papers now all over the floor outside his office. "You know, you're not really making my job any easier." He joked, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Sorry..." Josie croaked, blinking as if she didn't realize where she was anymore. Tears she feared she could not hold back anymore were threatening to fall from her wide eyes.
"I don't get a lot of students down here," He said idly. "Are you OK?"
"No." Josie shook her head. "No, I think I'm lost... and I'm afraid no one will be able to find me and I need your help."
The janitor averted his gaze for a moment. "I'll do what I can."
"You know." Josie said in an accusatory voice. "You know what's going on here – you always know what's going on. I don't know how you know but you do." The janitor remained impassive. "I've never pushed you for answers before but this time it's different. I want to know what's going on in our school. I want to know why this had to happen!"
The janitor was stoic. "I can't tell you why this happened."
"But WHY?! WHY can't you tell me what happened? What is your big secret anyway?"
"No, you don't understand." The janitor shifted, setting his mop down next to him and looking at her steadily. "I can't tell you because I can't give you one reason why this happened."
"What do you mean?" Josie was stricken.
The janitor sighed. "I don't know why this happened, but it didn't have anything to do with this school, Josie. It had to do with people, one extremely troubled person in particular. He acted completely of his own volition today."
"No. No, I don't believe it." Josie said. "I can't accept that. Strange things are always happening at Blake Holsey. Black Hole High, that's why we call it that – and don't pretend like you don't know that because you've been there for every weird thing that's happened. You knew what was really going on then and you know what's really going on now. You just refuse to tell me!" Josie could feel the tears streaming down her face now. She couldn't hold them back anymore and she didn't want to.
"I'm not lying to you, Josie. Christopher Ghent was not affected by the strange occurrences in this institution. He was not poisoned by outside forces or convinced by anyone but himself to take the actions he committed today." Josie was shaking her head. The janitor waited until he got her attention again. "Some things just happen, Josie. You have to learn to accept that."
Professor Zachary's words came back to her then, hitting her hard. Josie couldn't take it anymore. "I still don't trust you. You've never given me any reason to."
"I'm sorry, Josie." He said it with a calm, quiet voice and Josie instantly knew that it was sincere. Suddenly she couldn't take it anymore – she had to get out of there, she had to leave that place, that school, and just keep running—
"I—I've got to go." Without any more words, the girl ran off back the way she'd come, no longer heeding anything, just searching for her safe place. She pushed open the doors to the stairwell, sobbing freely now, and dashed up them, leaving a very pensive janitor behind, staring after her sympathetically.
Josie kept running until she reached the first floor where she was relieved to see a familiar face. "Josie!" Professor Zachary ran up to his sobbing student, who looked like she either wanted to keep running or collapse on the floor in grief. "Josie, what's the matter?" He pulled the girl into his arms, embracing her warmly. At first Josie tried to push away but gave up and cried into his shoulder, really letting herself go for the first time since the incident.
"Oh God, Z. Why did this have to happen? Why did this happen here, to all of us? No one deserves to die. Not Marshall, not Madison, not even Chris Ghent. Why won't anyone tell me what happened here?"
"Shh, it's alright, Josie. It'll be OK." Zachary comforted. "I don't know. Nobody knows. If I could explain it in words you'd understand I'd teach it to you, you know I would but I can't. No one can."
It was several minutes before Josie could pull away, sniffling and rubbing her reddened cheeks with her sleeve. She had calmed down considerably, and held herself awkwardly as she stared off into space again. "I know." She finally admitted in a heavy voice. "I know there's no explanation. I just kept hoping that there would be; hoping to find something to explain it all... but there's no way to explain it. I just don't know if I can accept that yet." She sighed and Zachary allowed her to continue. "I should apologize to Corrine. And Vaughn. I didn't mean to run out on them... and on Marshall... But Corrine doesn't understand. She didn't see—"
"See what, Josie?"
Hesitantly, Josie began. "We were so scared when he heard those gunshots. We wanted to get out of the bathroom but we couldn't open a window so we ran into the farthest stall and locked ourselves in. We hid in there for almost twenty minutes. I thought I was holding Corrine's hand to make her feel safe but I think she was holding mine for the same reason.
"We didn't move from that spot until the police came and opened the door and found us. We heard them before that but we were too scared to come out. We couldn't, not until someone proved to us that everything was OK. We were wondering where our friends were. We wanted to go find them, but they told us to go into this one room and they wouldn't tell us what happened. We were so confused, Z', and it made us even more scared and alone, and I tried to see if I could look into the cafeteria, if I could see Vaughn or Marshall or Lucas, but there were so many people... and so much blood.
"Oh God, Corrine didn't see, I know she didn't because I looked at her and she was looking at the police officers, but then I looked back... and I saw Madison's body. She had been shot more than once and I couldn't tell how many times because there was so much blood... And her eyes... her eyes were still open, Z'. She was trying to see but she couldn't because he killed her and she'll never see anything again. She'll never have the chance to be rude to me anymore, or—or take Vaughn from me or do ANYTHING because she's dead. She's dead Z', and she'll never grow up and have children of her own, little mini-Madisons to turn into evil cheerleaders. She had her life taken away from her in such a short instant and it's not fair, Z'. She didn't deserve to die!"
Zachary didn't respond, didn't say anything, so Josie continued. "And at the hospital I just kept thinking about how if Corrine had seen... if she had looked and seen Madison's body being covered with a sheet so she was really blind that she would understand why I was being such a bitch, but then I realized that I don't want her to have seen that. I would never wish that on my best friend; I only wish she'd understand."
"Josie, she will understand. If you tell her, she'll understand. You have to have faith in your friends in a time of need, believe that they'll come through for you."
"But what if she doesn't?" Josie sniffed.
"She will. She's your best friend. You two are polar opposites but you've always been able to understand each other, and you've always been there to save each other."
Josie looked back up to her teacher, nodding slowly. She looked toward the direction of the front hall then at the floor. Finally she met with her teacher's eyes once more. "Professor Z'?"
"Yes, Josie?"
"Can you take me back to the hospital now? I want—I want to see if Marshall's OK."
Zachary smiled. "Of course I will."