Chapter 3
As I said at the beginning of chapter 2, everything was going great. Liz was with Blink, Kelly was with Race, and Kelsey was with Jack. Somehow my friend Marne had gotten together with Mush. Everything was working out great. That was until Kelsey started to have doubts about her and Jack. She didn't know if she loved him as much as he loved her. Jack and Kelsey were in an on again, off again relationship. Jack was really staring to get annoyed.
"Kelsey, what's goin' on wit us?" Jack asked her pulling her aside one day.
"What do ya mean?" Kelsey asked.
"Well, it's like one minute ya love me then the next minute ya don't. Kelsey, ya know I love ya, so what's the problem?"
"The problem is that I've never loved you."
"What!?"
"I've wanted Spot, so I thought that if I went out with you, I could get closer to him." Kelsey explained.
"So you used me ta try 'n' get a guy that's taken and in love wit someone else?"
"Yeah." Kelsey said plainly.
Jack didn't say anything. He just walked away.
Now let me tell you that Kelsey normally wouldn't do that. I don't think she thought she would hurt anyone. I don't think she expected that Jack would fall in love with her and love her as much as he did. Kelsey really isn't a horrible person. Anyways, we all try our best to cheer him up and it helped a little.
August was the worst month I'd had in a long time. I was completely unhappy. You would think that I would be happy. I mean, I had a great boyfriend and a lot of friends but I was depressed. See, I had a lot of time on my hands with nothing to do but reflect on my life. My life has not been the most wonderful life. My parents got divorced when I was in first grade, my brother made fun of me for years, I seemed like a chore to my dad, my mom was never around, and my grandpa was doing horrible health wise. Like I said, I was depressed. I didn't wanna live. I had no reason to live. I thought my family would be better off without me. I would go to bed and stare in the direction of my pocketknife or I would stare at my wrists. I would pretend to be happy around everyone so they wouldn't know. I couldn't hide it from Spot though. He knew, so he would try and take my mind off of my life but it didn't work very well. I couldn't help the way I felt. He pulled me aside one day so we could talk.
"Why do ya wanna do this ta yourself?" he asked me.
"Because I don't feel that my life is worth anything." I answered him.
"You would be missed by so many people.
"No I wouldn't."
"Please don't do it. I don't think I could handle another suicide."
"Another suicide?"
"Yeah. An ex-girlfriend of mine killed her self."
"Why'd she do that?" I asked.
"I don't know." He replied.
"Ya might as well tell her the whole story." Jack said coming up to us.
"Alright. Well, Jack had a sister, Anna. She was beautiful. She kinda looked like you. Anyways, I fell in love wit her. I was 14 and she was 16 but I didn't care that she was older than me. I loved her. She apparently liked me, so I asked her out and we started dating. Jack didn't like it at first but after awhile he changed his mind. Everythin' was goin' great until me and Anna had a huge fight. She left the next mornin' for Chicago. I missed her so much. She was gone for almost a year. I'm surprised she lived that long in Chicago. When she came back, I noticed that she had gained a little weight and she was eatin' some weird things but I didn't care. She was back and that's all that mattered. I apologized to her and we eventually got back tagether. About a month later, I decided ta pop the question. I loved her wit all me heart and I wanted ta spend the rest of me life wit her. So one night I decided ta surprise her. I was comin' back ta the lodgin' house early that night. When I walked in I didn't see anyone, so I went up ta the bunkroom but no one was there either. I noticed the washroom door was closed, which it's usually open, so I walked over and opened the door. There she was lying in a pool a blood and blood still comin' from her wrists. I couldn't believe that she had done that. I read the note that she had left and then I just sat there beside her. Some me boys found me."
"Wait, there was a note?" Jack asked interrupting him.
"Yeah."
"Why didn't ya tell me?" Jack asked.
"I wanted ta make sure it was her handwritin' and you were so mad at me 'cause ya thought I'd killed her I didn't think you woulda believed me." Spot explained.
"I'm sorry." I said after a few moments of silence.
"That's why I don't want ya ta kill yourself." Spot said looking at me.
"I can't help the way I feel, Spot. I just don't think I would be missed." I said.
"Your grandpa and grandma would miss ya, your aunt and uncle's would miss ya, and I would miss ya. I love ya, Ann." Spot said trying to comfort me.
"I would miss ya, Ann." Jack said giving me a hug.
Ok, so I would have a lot of people that would miss me but that still didn't convince me. I still felt alone even though there were people around me.
One night I got tried of feeling depressed. I turned out my light, sat on my bed, and…prayed. Yes, I prayed. I bet you were thinking that I would kill myself. Come on, you know you were thinking that. Anyways, I prayed for God to help me. I knew I couldn't do it by myself. I needed help. I knew God was the only one who could help me through it. By the end of the prayer, I was crying my eyes out and Spot was holding me trying to comfort me. I eventually fell asleep in his arms.
In the days that followed I felt so much better. I felt like a weight had been filled off my shoulders. My spirit felt lighter than it had in years. Then something I didn't expect to happen happened.
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AN: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know it was kind of depressing and I know the next chapter will be too but more happy chapters are coming and you will find out more about Spot and Jack and everyone. Please review. As you all know, I love getting reviews.
*~Dreamer Conlon~*