Disclaimer: This chapter is a little funnier than the others.

5. What I Learned About Malfoy

Hermione: Have you finished your essay yet?

Harry: Yup!

Hermione: What's it called?

Harry: What I learned About Malfoy.

Hermione: Let's hear it.

Harry: He weirs a dress once a week, he paints his toenails pink, he has a stuffed bear named Mr. Snuggles, he like to throw rocks at people (especially old people), he likes pink, picks his nose and secretly has a mullet. So basically, he's a pretty nice guy.