The game we play

by Hickok

Pretensious smut fic I tried to write. Shigure likes to play around with Ayame, but what if Ayame didn't see it as a game? R rating for final chapter.

3. With these hands I touch

The game we play.

DISCLAIMER: I do own Fruits Basket. Yep. I do. I've kept it a secret up until now because I knew that all the other fanfiction writers out there would be jealous of me and probably cry themselves to sleep every night just from the envy alone. And even though I own Fruits Basket, for some reason I bring myself to this website to write fanfiction about it, instead of, I don't know, actually writing up these ideas as actual episodes for the second series. See the ridiculousness of even having to do a disclaimer? No of course I don't bloody own Fruits Basket! If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it, no siree! I'd be making it a reality!

Note: Once more I want to thank everyone for the lovely reviews! (Offers all reviewers zodiac cookies that Kewie made for her.) Okay now my little notes to my reviewers. I have quite a few to address so they're going to go in point form. Here goes:

All reviewers in general: I'm glad you guys have pinpointed a Shigure/Ayame fic that you enjoy reading and I'm pleased I was able to bring you that! ^^ I myself wrote this fic because there was a lack of them so I encourage all Aya/Gure-San fans to power their pens (No, not penis, pens don't get excited.) into action and join the campaign! I need something to read too!

Kewie: As always I can rely on you to review my work! ^^ This makes me a very happy lady. Girl you spoil me with all your little gifts! Not that I mind though! Keep em coming!! (Hands Kewie a Shigure and Aya plushie holding hands.) A little sign of appreciation for all the bribes—uh, I mean gifts you've given me!! Thanks a lot!! ^^

ArturwenElf: LOL ^^ Don't worry you don't have to hunt me down and gut me like a fish. It's just hard for me to update lately cause I've been busy with quite a bit of school stuff. You won't have to eat me either, I think you'll be full enough from eating my fanfic and it's fluff. Does your tummy feel okay? I kinda need my fic though so maybe you can vomit it back up so other people can read it too?

CraZy NeKO-Jin: Glad you're 'Lovin It!' (not to be mixed up with Mc Donald's slogan.) I was really worried that I had made the character's completely OOC and people would write in saying; "But Shenai... Aya wouldn't act that way..." Etc. Ah well, it seems I'm doing an okay job! ^^ Speaking of Macca's I've a craving now...

I wish I could address each of my reviewers and comment on what they've each said but it would take up so much room and that's room that could be filled up with Aya/Gure wangst! Just let it be known I appreciate what all of you have said and in the next chapter I might be able to address those of you I couldn't in this one. You all make this little fic worthwhile in my eyes. Thanks! ^^ (Accepts an Oscar from Ayame whose wiping his eyes and muttering 'Beautiful!' between sobs.) Okay...

With that being said, the note for the following chapter follows: Hmm... a little bit of dirtiness in this chappy, mostly on Aya's behalf. No he doesn't molest Shigure in his sleep or take him against his will. You'll just have to read to find out! Enjoy friends of the Aya/Gure movement and all you other Furuba maniacs! And Joc, you crazy Haru/Yuki fan you get your own special mention! Aren't you a lucky son of a bitch, aye?!

My heart was once just like a home

With many rooms and open doors

And I always let love in

It would change the rooms around and then

Leave them empty

'Till one by one I locked each door

And soon forgot what love was for

But I never gave up hopin'

So I left one door open

In case you found me

So there's a room in my heart for you

If your trust has been stolen too

If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor

And leave behind you the hurt you've had before

There's a room in my heart for you

We'll paint the walls from blue to white

And set the mood by candlelight

Together we'll keep out the cold

And I'll still be there when we're old

If you'll let me

So there's a room in my heart for you

If your trust has been stolen too

If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor

And leave behind you the hurt you've had before

There's a room in my heart for you. ~ Faith Hill.

To wake up one morning and suddenly realize, in those first few fleeting moments of mellowness that you may very well just be the most important person in somebody else's life... It's something, a feeling that we all hope for. No matter who the person may be. Every life wants to be valued and there is no selfishness in such a desire, for that is human nature. It is the primitive feelings we all experience as a child, but try in vain to push to the side as we grow and deny that we may very well still be wanting that attention. Because to feel as though you are special, in such a way that you are valued by someone else over everything else that they know; it's enlightening and healing for the soul. Possibly the greatest thing we creature's could ever know.

Yet it is this very want that does indeed make us selfish. Because people fall in love, inevitably so and in doing so, there remains behind them the bitterness of those around them. Those that are close to them. To gain love, is to lose something else, maybe even the love and loyalty of another. Someone who will not have that love and must lift themselves up from beneath their sadness and endure on as another takes their place; the place in their loved ones heart where they feel they should be.

It was a feeling Ayame knew only too well.

He remembered all too clearly the cold ache of jealousy that he had never been able to lift from his gut, that one terrible day in high school; the day Shigure announced that he'd hooked up with his first girlfriend. Hatori was expected to be as apathetic about it as he was in regards to most issues of romance, but that was because he had no real investment in Shigure's love life, not like Ayame did. He couldn't hide his unhappiness, his jealousy. It swelled within him, rising up on a vast wave of emotions that bubbled at the surface threatening to overflow at any given second. He had wanted nothing more but to run up to Shigure and shake him until his lovesick brain turned to mush. To scream at this goofy chocolate brown eyes; "NO!! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!" (Give or take a 'No.') This girl had swept into their lives all in the time it took for Shigure to open his mouth and tell his two closest friends in the world that he was dating someone. Someone who wasn't Ayame. Shigure had not a clue what was going on behind those golden eyes that sat behind deep dark lashes on a boy that could only smile and nod his head. Seemingly a cheerful boy, who couldn't be happier that his best friend, had found someone to be with. Not a jealous man who was conjuring up multiple ways of breaking the pair up that would have even shocked Akito. No. That smile, that eccentric attitude had done the trick. It had fooled the gullible world once again.

Ayame's feelings for Shigure all those years ago, were hardly even what you would consider 'romantic', but that did not deter from the fact itself, that fact being that Shigure had a girlfriend. That girlfriend would take priority over him from that day onwards until the two of them broke up. He'd hated her. Hated her as passionately as he had ever hated anything; such as his parents for favoring Yuki over him as a child. Maybe he had simply wanted to be the center of everyone's attention all the time, he wasn't sure, he just knew that he hated that feeling of not being valued. It branched out into that area of nothingness; a fear so encompassing that he knew not how to confront it.

No... Ayame didn't necessarily want to be the center of everyone's attention. ...Okay, well maybe a little... Just a little. But he mainly just wanted to be the most important figure in Shigure's life and until the day he had hooked up with that girl, he felt as though he had been...

Ayame's world crashed down around him, the day he came to realize that the object of his affections was straight. This posed somewhat of a problem, considering that Ayame's birthright as a member of the male species somewhat left him standing on the sidelines of Shigure's 'Highway of Love' as an observer but never a participator. Though the dog liked to joke around the topic of homo-gay boy relationships he had never actually contemplated one. Even on that one occasion when Ayame had spirited him away to a gay bay and got him drunk (all in the interests of seducing him of course) he never relented. In fact he had spent the whole night whining drunkenly about his ex-girlfriend and then falling into the bar. It had been funny at the time, even more so later on when they were seated in the relative safety of Shigure's lounge room going through all the numbers random guys at the bar had given them. Even with Ayame's prompting to ring them up for a date, Shigure had stated quite blatantly that he wasn't interested. Ayame casually joked that it was because he didn't want to cheat on him and Shigure chuckled earnestly as he agreed. Though, it was quite obvious why he refused to ring any of the guys.

Ayame often concerned himself about Shigure's orientation; wondering if that ruled out any chance of the two of them sharing a future together. He hadn't yet asked him straight out whether or not he was bi-sexual or even, seriously doubtful for some reason gay, because he didn't want to hear the answer that might end his infatuation. For now, he could remain content with the mystery.

But such concerns were far from Ayame's mind that night. (Though clearly not from the authors.) He was curled up in Shigure's bed with a hot cup of tea, looking through some old photo albums, whilst the owner of the bed played with his hair distractedly, twisting and looping the long silver tresses up onto the crown of his head and braiding others. Shigure loved Ayame's hair. He loved brushing it and weaving out the knots that came with having such long unruly, yet beautiful hair. It was something of a ritual for the pair, something they had done since childhood as a means of bonding. That had been one of the many reason's Ayame had gone to such lengths to keep his hair long during high school, so that the ritual would never be disrupted. It was relaxing to feel those long experienced fingers working through his main of hair and it made him somewhat nostalgic. Amongst other things.

Even though his fever hovered constantly in the background, twisting his gut and occasionally stoking up his fever, he couldn't help but be thankful to it for the situation it had put him in.

To keep these feelings at bay, Ayame turned his attention back to the album perched in his lap, running a long nailed finger over the plastic sheathe that covered the picture of Shigure and his ex. His ex, who had cheated on him two weeks into the relationship and then broke it off with him when he questioned her about it.

"A great turn of events if you ask me, Gure!" Ayame chirped, sipping his tea thoughtfully. "You were much too good for her. She was lucky to have had you for as long as she did. Though it's obvious she has no taste, leaving you for that schmuck in the class above us!" He groaned in distaste and placed his teacup back on the side table.

"Not that I can blame her for breaking up with me. Not really." Shigure said, twisting a piece of Ayame's hair around on his index finger before clipping it to the crown of his head. "I couldn't get intimate with her, not in the way she would have liked or I would have risked giving away the 'Big Sohma family secret' Tm." He rolled his eyes to indicate exactly what he thought of the 'Big Sohma family secret' Tm and set to work braiding a small section of Ayame's hair.

Aya flipped the page of the album and came across a picture he would rather have had never come home from the photo shop. He tried to quickly turn the page so that Shigure wouldn't see and give him a hard time about it, but as luck would have it, he wasn't near quick enough.

"Wasn't that the idiot you were dating around the same time?" Came his friend's husky voice from somewhere behind his ear. "What was his name again? Rocky? Rokao?"

"Rokuro." Ayame corrected, nodding slightly to confirm that yes, this was said idiot. "Don't worry, Shigure! I only dated him to make you jealous!" He said truthfully, though in the same joking manner he always adopted, so that his friend wouldn't catch on.

He didn't. Doofus.

Shigure smiled gently as he buried his chin into the groove of his friend's shoulder, staring at him from the corner of his eyes. Suddenly his arms were around him, squeezing his center so tightly it was a wonder his body didn't snap in two. Shigure had a tendency to get a little, uh... violent with his affections. Not that Ayame minded of course.

"I'm sure you did." Shigure said, in response to his friend's statement. He relaxed his arms allowing Ayame to breathe again and then returned to his hair. "But you really didn't need to go to all that trouble. Honestly Aya, you could have done much better."

Ayame raised an eyebrow, not so much in response to this poke at his ex boyfriend, but at Shigure's suggestion that he could have done better. It was flattering in a way... The snake tilted his head back, allowing the length of his hair to brush the top of the bedspread and by extension, Shigure's legs that were crossed atop it.

"Why is it that you didn't like him, Gure-San?" He asked innocently as his friend finished with his hair and sprawled across the base of the rumpled bed a hand thrown disdainfully across his forehead. "I mean... he was nice enough. Very cute..."

Shigure ignored the subtle poke in his ribs demonstrated by Ayame's elbow and rolled on his side so he faced his friend, head crooked up on the flat of his hand. He gave a rather mellow shrug of his broad shoulders.

"It wasn't that I didn't like him, Aya. I... I just didn't like him for you."

Ayame cocked an eyebrow smartly, not exactly clear on where Shigure was coming from. It sounded as though he had been jealous of his relationship with Rokuro, which was of course ridiculous. Shigure wasn't like him; he always knew what he wanted and he went after it, with no concern as to what anyone else around him thought. There had to be another reason.

"Since when did you care who I dated?" Ayame asked, lazing back against the pillows and reapplying the drying facecloth across the top of his head. "The others following Rokuro were of no concern to you. It was only with him that you developed a fine attitude problem of Kyou proportions with."

Shigure seemed to consider this. He clambered to his feet and stretched, lazing one arm casually over his opposite shoulder and grasping the wrist with his free hand, pulling down hard on it. Ayame winced at the sharp popping noise that issued from the Inu's back. He hated it when Shigure did that; it really was quite disgusting and, as his health teacher had been found of saying, 'Not at all good for the vertebra.' It would be Shigure's fault if he ended up with back problems in his old age and Ayame would be damned to Hell, if he was going to spend his retirement sitting around listening to the Great Novelist reminisce about the old days when he could walk without a Zima frame.

Unless of course Hari was dead.

"Well..." Shigure finally said after a minute of silence (and back popping.) "I suppose... because he was your first. Maybe I was a little jealous... and you know, it wasn't like he was very polite to me and Hari you know."

"Uh, uh, uh!" Ayame tsked, waving a finger to and fro. "Really Shigure and you call yourself a Master Novelist? 'Me and Hari?' God forbid, it's 'Hari and I!' I thought your grammar skills had improved since the third grade!" He chuckled a little at Shigure's perturbed expression, then waved a hand to show that he was just kidding. "I know he wasn't very polite to the two of you. It was one of the major reasons I broke up with him you see?"

Shigure nodded thoughtfully as though something suddenly made sense to him and wandered over to his wall cabinet where he began fussing with something unseen.

"I see... and though I just know I'm going to regret asking... what was the other major reason?"
Ayame suddenly became bashful and raked his hand through his hair, meeting resistance from Shigure's handiwork.

"I uh... might have well... you know?" He scratched his chin thoughtfully and sighed reluctantly. "Made something of a derogatory comment about the size of his... um... you know... boys when we slept together."

The peace of the night was suddenly and inexplicably shattered by the sound of something tumbling to the floor. The noise was loud and echoed around the room for the following minute. Shigure dove to the floor, in pursuit of the plastic dish he had been cleaning and dropped at what Ayame had said. The plate was rolling across the floor like a runaway hubcap and seemed intent on eluding Shigure's grasp for as long as possible. Ayame watched in amusement as his friend chased the dishware around the room in relentless circles, until he was finally able to snatch it up as it collided with the side of the bed and toppled on it's side. That was the great thing about visiting Shigure's place; you were always guaranteed free entertainment.

Shigure straightened up, his face a lovely shade of puce and the plate clenched between taut fingers. Aya couldn't help but smile, wondering why he was so worked up. Honestly. It was like he was still under the innocent idealistic notion that Ayame was still a virgin. Poor little Inu.

"Gure?" He asked, trying unsuccessfully to contain the amusement in his voice. "Are you okay? You look a little flushed..."

In response to this, Shigure rotated the plate in his hands, keeping his eyes focused on the elaborate patterns that adorned its edges. His mouth felt inclined to move independently for him, making peculiar gold fish shapes that produced little more then a mumbling sound. This was a first in Shigure history.

"Y-You... really had... sex with that guy?!" He finally spluttered, staring wide eyed over the plate's rim. Ayame, suddenly ashamed of his nudity, slid down into the blankets, pulling them up to cover half his face. Golden eyes surveyed Shigure's stunned expression over the fabric.

"Well... yes... I don't see what the big deal is, Gure." He murmured, slightly muffled due to the constraint of the sheets. "Though I must admit, it wasn't nearly as tender as I would have liked, especially for my first time. A montage of grunts, groans and a bit of sweat does not sex make! Especially when he had a habit of following said up with an inappropriate display of course language, pleading for various sexual performances or requests that one was not prepared to demonstrate. If you catch my drift?"

"Eruh!" Shigure cried intelligently, slamming the disk against his head. May I once again draw your attention to the fact that it is a plastic plate, and therefore the impact with his cranium did not cause it to shatter and render him unconscious. He just developed quite a nasty bump the following day. "Now I really hate the guy!! How could you do that with him, Ayame Sohma?! You weren't even legal!"

"Like that would stop you." Aya muttered, fiddling distractedly with the gold hoop in his right ear. "Besides... I was horny! What else could you expect from me?"

"A little bit of self respect, for a start! And for the record, you're always horny, being 17 had nothing to do with it."

"That's a harsh thing to say. The pot calling the kettle black, hmm?"

Shigure slammed the plate back into its frame, almost breaking it with his recklessness and turned back to his friend, hands set firmly against his hips.

"Don't turn this around on me just because you can't keep your legs closed." He said in a tone very unlike Shigure. It was near to disgust. " I at least had the dignity not to throw myself at anyone because I was craving attention. Talking about it at length is one thing; acting on those impulses is completely another. I honestly thought you had more respect for yourself then that."

Ayame spluttered in astoundment, throwing the sheets down to his waist and sitting up. He didn't care how ill he felt or how much of him was exposed to Shigure. All he could feel was the thin cold tendrils snaking through his mind, warning him against whatever words were to be said in the following conversation. It was nearing the danger zone and Ayame was ready to push it right over the thresh-hold.

"If you've got something to say Shigure, say it." He drawled his voice low and silky. This was always a bad sign. When Ayame got angry, he tended to lower his tone instead of raising it, speaking as though tissue paper covered the very interior of his throat. It was the hiss of a snake preparing to strike, the venom poised on the tips of its teeth as it rose to defend itself. The warning rattle of it's tail the slitted curvature of its eyes narrowing dangerously. Shigure knew this and yet he resisted the temptation that told him to keep his words locked behind his lip's, compressed to his mind alone, where no one else could be hurt by them. He rubbed his forehead, very aware of where this turn of events would lead them. He didn't want to fight with Ayame, not with him feeling the way he was right now, but it seemed unavoidable in light of what he had already said. Might as well put the icing on the cake and add the cherry.

"Ayame... you're one of my closest friends, Hell I'd probably go as far to say that you're my best friend, ever since we've been in diapers. After all the shit we've endured together I think our bond is fairly solid and I love you man... but GOD you didn't make it easy for me at times!" Shigure plonked himself down on the edge of the bed, crossing his legs beneath him and resting his hands in his lap. "I never said anything at school because you and Hari were all I had. The thought of losing either of you made me so heart sore that I couldn't bear to imagine it. Which is why I would put up with anything no matter how I felt about it. Though it was a real struggle at times to keep my mouth shut. As you would know."

Ayame lowered his eyes to the blankets before him and creased the folds between his fingers. He didn't think that he had ever done anything to hurt either of his friends; on the contrary he thought he had been particularly careful not too. This did little to ease the guilty feeling that stirred through his gut like a spoon through whipped cream. (This also did little to help the author's appetite but let's not go there.)

"What do you mean? What did I ever do that was so... bad?"

"You just... didn't..." And this time it was Shigure who seemed to struggle, clenching his fists against the blankets as though grinding a stone between his fingers. "You didn't respect yourself, Aya!! You were fun and fantastic to be with and I enjoyed every second we spent together, but you would so willingly throw me over as soon as some pretty face looked your way! I mean, I hate to sound immature about this Aya, but I've been stewing over it for years now! It made me... so damn mad..."

" 'As soon as some pretty face looked my way?!' Well excuuuu~uuuse me, Mr. High School girls, but I wasn't the erratic cheerleader chaser was I?" Ayame snapped, jerking forward so hard and fast (Don't get excited, this isn't a lemon yet folks) the facecloth plopped into his lap. "Are you trying to say that was the only reason for this whole debacle? Seriously? Christ, I thought I had done something bad!" As though he had suddenly gotten the pun of an extremely good joke, Ayame tilted back and dissolved into peels of laughter, falling into the pillows and rolling sideways, legs pulled up to his chest. Shigure naturally, looked rather offended.

"Maybe it seems funny to you, Aya, but I don't think you are quite aware of how much it hurt my feelings!" He sulked like a whiny adolescent who wasn't allowed to go to the prom. "Don't laugh at me like that! It isn't funny!"

"Oh, but Shigure! Don't you see, it is?!" The snake chuckled, crawling down the bed and leaning his head against his friend's rigid shoulder. Ayame's own still convulsed with laughter. "The sweet irony of this whole situation is that I used to run off to talk to other people when I thought you were ignoring me!" He laughed a little more and looped his arms through Shigure's, cuddling them to his chest. "So I know that you weren't actually ignoring me at all! You just thought that- - YAY! I'm so happy!!" (Yep. The medication's kicked in folks.)

"You serious?" Shigure asked, glancing down at his suddenly cheerful friend. Ayame nodded way too happily.

"Mmhmm! As you see all we've had here is a simple case of 'misinterpretation.'" He chirped, liking how smart the word made him sound. "I'm glad we're still friends you big palooka! Gimme a cuddle!!"

Shigure's face split into his familiar wide grin as he looped his arm around Ayame's head and gave his already ruffled hair a good tousling. Then he smacked him on the forehead. ...With his lips. (I can see all you Yaoi fans sitting up straight now.)

"Ah Aya!" He laughing, resting his arm around his shoulders comfortably and pulling him close. "You're crazy, you're ridiculous and you're damn near insane, but I love ya!"

Ayame's whole world came grinding to halt when those lips met his forehead; the moisture remaining even after Shigure had pulled away and was laughing through them. (Author just visualized Ayame and Shigure singing the 'Elephant Love Medley' from Moulin Rouge to one another. I don't see why that is worth mentioning but visualize it for me and then you might understand. ^^;;; Moving on now...) It was a nice turn of events considering that it was usually him who kissed his friends on the forehead or cheek. Shigure usually liked to keep such personal gesture's at a distance, opting to wave to a friend as a farewell instead. So the fact that he had done that just now, it was somewhat outside of his usual range. Not that Ayame was complaining.

Shigure grinned broadly and lifted his arm away to the snake's disappointment. "Not that I mind Aya, but you might want to put some clothes on. You wouldn't want Hari to get jealous now would you?"

Ayame whacked Shigure with his pillow, sending feathers flying up into the air from the impact. (Well... Shigure does have a pretty hard head...) The Inu laughed playfully as he ducked away and rolled over to his closet, flinging the door open with flair as though he were presenting it's contents to the Queen. He ran a hand downwards through the air and bowed over so low that his nose nearly scraped the floor. My word he must be flexible. Ayame immediately had dirty thoughts. So did the readers. You sick bastards.

"Your highness, though my closet may appear humble to the naked eye (No pun intended) I am sure there may just be something amongst my insignificant rabble that should appease you." He drawled in a bad English accent, waving his hand about extravagantly. "After all, the night draws near and it is not this author's custom to let such a pretty face freeze to death in the cruel cold that lurks beneath every door crevice, every window gap, every loose floor board, every broken door- -"

"Thankyou, thankyou Gure-San," Ayame gushed, trying to keep the topic of the splintered door out of his fevered mind. There was only so much he could feel guilty about in one night and right now he felt as though that should be the impure thoughts he was entertaining that had everything to do with Shigure. Ayame pulled the sheets back over himself, trying to hide his gradually hardening desire from sight as he surveyed the novelists closet with a critical eye. Finally he settled on something that wasn't too offensive to the fashion industry; a simple white kimono very similar to his own, only not nearly as white. God knows what had happened to it but Ayame wasn't prepared to wager a guess. There were some things that were better off remaining a mystery and this was one of them.

Shigure plucked the kimono and it's hanger from the closet with all the precision of a butler and made a big show of dusting it's dirty surface before handing it to Ayame. The snake wrinkled his nose in response to its equally wrinkled appearance but decided now was not the time to be fussy. His erection was becoming quite difficult to hide with only the thin sheets to conceal it and even the pillow was becoming an inadequate disguise. It was all to painful trying to keep it pressed down over his lap. Damn Shigure and his damn... sexiness! Damn this fever that kept him stapled to the bed! And damn Shigure's damnable straightness and naivete!

Ayame snatched at the kimono and ripped it from Shigure much more roughly then he intended. His friend's eyes widened disapprovingly, as though Ayame were a little boy refusing to eat his broccoli. (Which actually isn't that bad. I don't see what everyone's making such a fuss over.)

"Steady on." He scolded as the tailor slipped his arms through the sleeves with not nearly as much grace as his first appearance and climbed to his feet, facing away from Shigure as the tied the cord around his waist. "You don't have to get stroppy with me, you know. I'm sorry about that stuff I said before... is that what you're mad about?"

I've got a fucking erection you twit! Ayame thought dryly, looking down at his waist with thorough scrutiny. How would you feel if I turned around with this pointing at you?

Instead of this though, Ayame simply shook his head and smiled over his shoulder, his face a rather fetching shade of pink.

"I have to go to the toilet, Gure..." He said softly, moving sideways towards the door as though doing some strange shuffling crab dance. It looked as odd as it sounds. "I'll be back in a flash!"

Shigure watched in astonishment as his friend continued to edge towards the door, still facing the wall as though it were the most fascinating thing in the world. Naturally, he didn't see where he was going and bumped into the doorframe. (This reminds me of a joke a friend told me about a man going out a plane door sideways. Let's just say he was going to Bangkok. _^)

"Ow...." Ayame gritted his teeth very visibly as pain shot up from his groin and slammed his senses with the force of a sledgehammer. There were more painful things in life he was sure, but right now he was pressed to think of what they were.

"Uh... Aya?" Shigure ventured as his friend jumped lightly up and down on his toes, for what reason he could not tell. Lucky in Ayame's case... in one way, not in another.

"Headache... Gure... Could you get me... another pill?" Ayame hissed trying to keep from screaming out loud. He resumed his passage towards the bathroom, edging along with his toes angled inwards. "Just... toilet... or I'll wet myself... you know?" In a sense he thought, now running from the knee's down. Shigure was about to stop him, as he was heading for the bathroom and not the lavatory but decided he should be able to figure out his mistake as soon as he burst in the wrong door. The Inu shook his head as he headed to the kitchen to fetch another aspirin. Poor Aya... his fever was making him act even more peculiar then usual...

Ayame slammed open the bathroom door and quickly locked it behind him. Had he have been feeling well, he might have allowed himself the luxury of falling to his knee's and screaming for all it was worth. Damn that was painful! But it was his own damn fault for getting hard in the first place, he supposed, shrugging off the kimono and allowing it to fall in rippling waves to the floor. No... that wasn't entirely true. It was Shigure. He was infatuated with him... he knew this now, better then ever before. He wanted him, this want possessed him such as nothing ever had and it wasn't fair. Maybe it never would be.

Ayame sighed and tossed his hair as he climbed into the bath, lowering his body down to the porcelain surface. Had he believed in soul mate's he would honestly say Shigure was his. That bond he felt... so strong. As though it had grown and matured through centuries of lifetimes the two of them had shared together. As friends, relatives... maybe even as lovers once upon a time. But those lives were over; if they even existed in the first place. And if they did, then Shigure and Ayame were here again living because they had failed to get something right all those times before. Could it be that love? This love of his that he just couldn't deny, couldn't hide nor run from. Was that love never recognized in all those lives they had lived?

Ayame felt tears in his eyes again and angrily pushed them aside. Crying would do the situation no good. He had no right to cry if he lacked the courage to tell Shigure just what those tears stemmed from. What a coward he was... to hide like this, as though the man he loved most in the world would grind these feelings beneath his heel as though they were nothing.

Nothing... he didn't want his life, nor his love to mean nothing. God dammit he didn't want this fear...

Holding back his thoughts, Ayame raised his hips positioning his burning desire beneath the tap and twisting the cold tap with cruel determination. The freezing water stung, though not nearly as much as his heart did, nor the tears in his eyes.

A little cold was nothing.

Nothing.

The bonds tightened around his wrists, pulling his arms back hard against the bounds of their sockets, tearing into his delicate skin. Ayame bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood as his head smacked into the wall behind him. The dark figure's circled him; hand's clasped to one another's as they sang something in thick rapid Japanese. Their eyes obscured beneath layers of thick black hair gave him no indication of their emotions nor their intentions. As cold as robots and just as calculating these people whispered their dark words, circling him... always circling hour after hour. Four similar robed figures stood to each side of the wall Ayame was tied to, hands clasped around a thick length of rope. They too chanted and at the end of every verse, they drew those ropes tighter and tied them off. The ropes were anchored to Ayame's wrists, his ankles and his neck. The force from each tug smashed his head back against the wall, drew his limbs to the edge of their limits until at last, the bones would pop, the skin would tear, and he would die.

Torn to pieces.

Out of the shadows another figure materialized, a white light glowing from beneath it's hood where a person's face would normally be. Its breath stank of death and its voice rang from within its chest like glass scraped against the expanse of a chalkboard. Ayame shuddered against his bounds; blood mingled with sweat and saliva as its voice reached his ears and clawed right within them.

"You are ours to kill Ayame Sohma..." It hissed as the robed figure's tugged mercilessly on those robes again. "In our darkness, you are ours to kill... scream and create our music. Bleed and quench our thirst. Die... and give us life..."

As it said this, two clawed hands extended from the sleeves of its robes and gripped the hem of its hood pulling it back. Light flooded forth from that black space and then Ayame did scream. And what music it was... what music it was...

"Ah!" Ayame exclaimed jerking awake and trying to sit up. He was constrained by something around his waist and in fear of the dream, he gripped it expecting to touch a rope's knotty surface. Imagine his surprise when his fingers clasped around a warm arm, dappled with dark hair and the odd freckle. He knew this arm. This was Shigure's arm.

And it was around his waist.

All thoughts of the nightmare were immediately pushed to the side as the reality flooded his senses. That's right. Shigure wouldn't hear of letting Ayame sleep in one of the other boy's beds, no siree. He was staying right there in his bed where it was already warm whilst the novelist would bunk down in Yuki's bed for the night. Ayame had been disappointed at first, wanting nothing more then to snuggle close to the one whom he adored whilst he slept, but figured it might be a good idea considering his previous embarrassing debacle. Though he distinctly remembered falling asleep alone earlier and he figured he would notice if Shigure put his arms around him whilst he was awake. Oh yeah, he would notice all right. Shigure must have snuck back in after Ayame was asleep and slipped in alongside him, unnoticed. Until now that is.

Ayame wasn't surprised really. Shigure always had trouble sleeping in other people's beds, he said it gave him neck aches because no one else's pillows were positioned the way his were or something like that. He obviously hadn't seen the harm in this, considering the multitude of times the two of them had shared a bed together before without anything too terrible happening. (If you didn't count the time Shigure farted and pulled Ayame's head under the duvets but that's a whole different can of worms.) But Shigure had never put his arm around him before! It was usually the other way around as every Fruits Basket fan will remember in his first appearance. Poor Kyou. Ayame couldn't help it though. He got cuddly in the morning, clingy almost especially when he was upset or scared. Though he had a nice big fluffy dog plushie at home he could cuddle up to at moments like these. But right now... all he had was the dog Jyuunishi.

... It would do.

The dream had troubled him... it had seemed so real and the very essence almost appeared to hover about the room, clinging to the shadows in each dark corner and leering down at him. It might have been brought about by the fever, such as the previous flashback dream he had been forced to endure. Though this had to be ten times's worse then that one. It was awful. He had felt so alone... so utterly frightened. Right now, he just wanted to be close to someone, no matter what might be thought of him.

So, with that in mind, Ayame swiveled in Shigure's arms and shuffled forward, wrapping his arms around his back and pulling the length of their bodies together. The warmth and contact worked to calm him and he rested his head on the curve of his friend's shoulder, pressing his face to the side of his neck. Doing so enabled him to feel the subtle movements of his breaths, sliding in and out of his throat and it was wonderful. Ayame closed his eyes, trying to block out the nightmares stale taste and focus on nothing other then Shigure. He lightly traced the Inu's toned back, fingernails teasing across the muscle sleepily, yet more awake then he had been in a long time.

"...Scared Shigure..." He whispered, knowing his friend wouldn't hear the words. "Scared of everything... that dream... mine and Yuki's relationship... how I feel when I'm with you... Just so scared..." He pressed his face deep into Shigure's skin, kissing the soft flesh as hard as he dared. God he wanted him so badly... to wake him up and hold him, to make that fear go away. But he couldn't bear to wake him. Neither from sleep, nor from the idealic naivete that he lived each and every day. Shigure was so happy... would he want to disrupt that happiness in any way? No. He wouldn't dare.

"Shigure... I don't know what to do anymore... it's like everything's so... empty. Nothing makes... sense..." Tears rolled down Ayame's cheeks, pressed against Shigure's neck as it rose and fell with each little intake of breath. "I want you to tell me what to do... because I don't know where to start or how to change." He was sobbing quietly now as he ensnared Shigure to him, hands stroking his back and gripping his shoulders with ruthless affection. "Tell... me what to... do, please... Because I... I only count on you to be there for me. ...Everything in my life's changed for the worst... friends leave me, lovers leave me... even family leaves... yet you remain the single unchanging continuity that I depend on so much. Shigure... I love you so much. Can't you see that? Or... won't you ever see it?"

The sleeping Inu had no reply, only a shift in his sleep that turned his body away from Ayame to face the opposite direction. For a moment Ayame thought that he had actually heard everything but Shigure's immediate snoring soon assured him that it was simple coincidence.

Not content to face away, he shuffled as close as he could and slipped his arms around his friends waist, trailing one hand up the Inu's chest to touch the hot flesh concealed beneath a thin layer of robe. Ayame rested his head against the back of Shigure's neck, kissing the darker skin softly as he lay himself into the pillows, inhaling the scent of his hair as he did. He tried to pretend as though they actually were lovers, drifting off to sleep after a particularly good love making session. He almost managed to convince himself too. It's amazing what a good imagination can do. Hey, that sorta rhymes!

"Good night lover..." Ayame whispered as he closed his eyes and allowed his body to feel against him what his eyelids now obscured. "Sweet dreams."