Disclaimer: I own nothin'. ~sigh~
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WHY ME? Asks Why
Guests: X-Men, Brotherhood
Guest Authors: Lethal Fairy, Diamond Unicorn
WHY ME?: ~phony smile and phony cheery voice~ Good morning-
Diamond Unicorn: But, it's night.
WM?: Well, on the east coast it's morning.
DU: No it isn't...
WM?: Leave me alone! Good whatever damn time of the damn day it is!
Hank: ~pops out~ Watch the language! We're trying to keep a PG rating! ~leaves~
WM? ~mutters~ It's my damn show. Why'd I put him in charge?
Lethal Fairy: Cuz you're stupid! Now drop the phoney act and introduce our vict- guest!
WM?: ~glares at LF, sighs, puts the phony act back on~ Right, our first guest is... Hey, who's our first guest?
LF: Storm, you idiot! This is your damn show!
Hank: Language, we haven't installed the censor, yet.
WM?: It's my damn show! ~phony act~ So, let's introduce our first guest, Miss Munroe!
Ororo: ~walks into room, pauses when she sees her chair's a folding chair~ A folding chair?
WM?: We kinda ran low on funds...
DU: That's because you decided the hosts get expensive chairs.
LF: Yep! My chair, not even the gods and goddesses can get me out of it! *rocks happily in recliner*
WM?: Right, so, Miss Munroe, how old are you?
Ororo: I'm twenty-one.
WM?: What's your favorite kind of candy?
Ororo: Shocktarts.
LF: Surprise, surprise. Stop with these boring questions!
WM?: Shh! We'll get to the other questions LATER. Is your hair naturally white?
Ororo: Yes.
WM?: And your eyes are naturally blue?
Ororo: Yes.
WM?: Are you and Mister Logan going out?
Ororo: Yes- what?
LF: There you have it! They're dating! So, how long have you been a couple?
Ororo: We are only friends.
WM?&LF: ~glance at each other~ Right. 'Close friends'.
LF: How long have you two been seeing each other?
Ororo: We see each other every day.
WM?: Stop with the stupid act!
LF: Why, you play the phony act.
WM?: I'm the damn main host! I do whatever I damn well want to!
DU: I'm trying to read a book, can you two be quiet...? ~goes back to some book with a horse on the cover~
LF: She's always reading...
WM?: So, how long have you and Logan been dating?
Ororo: I told you, we are just friends.
LF: Friends that see each other EVERYDAY. Friends that are always mysteriously not in the show. Friends-
Ororo: Fine, four months.
LF: And the truth comes out.
WM?: How long have you been 'together'?
Ororo: What? 'Together'?
LF: You heard the question!
Ororo: I don't know what you mean.
LF: Fine, I'll translate. How long have you two been having sexu-
Hank: Censors are now installed.
LF: What? ~shrug~ How long have you two had ****** **********? What the ****?!
WM?: **** him! So, Miss Munroe?
Ororo: Um, I have to go. ~walks off stage quickly~
LF: Well, we got nothing out of her.
WM?: Yes we did. We now know that she and Logan are having ***.
LF: These stupid censors.... Can I kill Mister McCoy?
WM?: Later... Next guest: Mister Logan!
Logan: ~enters stage and looks at the new lie detector~ This wasn't here before.
LF: Yes it was!
WM?: ~pushes Logan into chair, chair locks him in~ It was there all this time! It's all in your mind, there's no electric chair, you're relaxing. Anyway, my first question is: How long have you and Miss Munroe been 'together'?
Logan: We're not together. ~zap~ What the ****?
LF: It zaps you when you're lying. ~turns little knob all the way up~ Full powah!
WM?: Now, answer our question, Mister Logan.
Logan: Why do you want to know? ~zap~ I asked a question! ~zap~
LF: We ask the questions here, buddy! So, how long have you and Miss Munroe been 'together'?
Logan: We're not 'together'! ~zap~ *****************************************************!
LF: And this man is suppose to set an example for teenagers? ~sadly shakes head~
WM?: So, wanna answer the question yet?
Logan: I have! ~zap~
WM?: LIAR! You're not suppose to lie to children, you know it damages their minds!
Logan: I'm not sayin' anything! ~zap~
LF: You really hate the healing factor and metal right now, don't ya?
Logan: ~growl~ Ok, one week. ~zap~
LF: We heard different.
WM?: According to the lie detector, you're lying.
Logan: Fine, two weeks! ~zap~ One month. ~zap~ I told the truth! ~zap~ Ok, fine, four months! ~zap~ Fine SIX! ~no zap~
WM?: The truth comes out!
LF: But Miss Munroe said they've only been dating for four months... She was LYING!
WM?: So, how long have you been dating?
Logan: Seven months. ~zap~
LF: Have you EVEN gone out on a date?
Logan: Yeah. ~zap~
WM?: ~gasp~ They probably just ran into each other's arms...
LF: ~clears throat~ Moving on!
Logan: You ****ing kids let me go! ~zap~
WM?: Should we let 'im go?
LF: ~shrug~ For right now.
WM?: ~phony smile~ Let's move on to the next guest. Kitty!
Kitty: ~walks out on the stage, sits down in new recliner~
WM?: Where the hell did that recliner come from?
LF: The Magical Author's Silver Gel Pen That Never Runs Out Of Ink.
WM?: Why does she get a recliner?
LF: Because she's my favorite character!
WM?: Talk about irony... It's my show!
LF: I don't give a ****!
DU: Both of you be quiet.
WM?: Fine then! So, um... Kitty, how long have you and Lance been 'together?'
Kitty: Are you asking that to everyone?
WM?: Yes. Yes, I am.
Kitty: Me and Lance aren't 'together.'
Kita~offstage~: Yeah, right! My room's right next to yours...
Kitty: Kita, be quiet!
Kita~offstage~: ~imitation of Lance's voice~ Hey, Kitty, let's rock the bed!
Kitty: ~blush~ KITA! Stop it!
Kita~offstage~: ~imitation of Lance's voice~ Kitty, I'll rock your world!
Kitty: ~blushs even more~ KITA, I SWEAR!
Lance~offstage~: DIE, KITA!
Kita~offstage~: Aw, it's ok Lance. Kitten told me you were smaller and thinner then a needle, but she still loves you.
Lance~offstage~: I'm not smaller and thinner then a needle!
Kita~offstage~: You just can't give her what she needs Lance... But, obviously she can give you what you need. So, what does she do to make you call her a Pretty Kitty?
WM?: Where does she get all this stuff?
Kitty: I don't know, but I'm going to kill her. ~storms offstage~
WM?: Ooookkkk... next guest: Tabby!
Tabby: ~sits on recliner~
WM?: How come she gets a recliner...?
LF: She and Kitty are both my favorite characters! ~happily rocks in recliner~
WM?: ~glare at LF~ I hate you. ~to Tabby~ Now, how long have you and Kurt been 'together?'
Tabby: I don't think Blue wants me telling you.
WM?: Of course he does!
Kurt~offstage~: Nein I don't!
WM?: ~glare~ **** him... So, have you and Kurt found any other uses for his tail?
LF: And she says I have a sick mind...
Tabby: I don't think he wants me telling you that either.
WM?: Ok, how old are you, Tabby?
Tabby: 16...
WM?: What's your favorite color?
Tabby: Hmm...
Kurt~offstage~: It's blue!
Tabby: Kurt, don't speak for me! It's blue.
WM?: I'm glad to see she has a mind of her own.
LF: If Kurt's covered in blue fur, then is his-
WM?: NEXT QUESTION!
LF: ~rolls eyes~
WM?: You're not included in the next talkshow!
LF: Woe is me.
WM?: Um... Next guest! Rogue!
~Tabby leaves, Rogue comes in, sits down~
WM?: What's your favorite color?
LF: ~pulls anime-style hammer out of the air, smacks WM? in the head~
WM?: ~Rubs her head~ Where did you get that?!
~anime-style hammer vanishes LF smiles innocently~
WM: ~takes out light saber (I don't own those) tries to hit LF with it but misses by a lot and hits camera~ Oops....uh....
~Screen blanks out~
DU: We're experiencing technical difficulties...This is not a test...I repeat this is not a test.
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Official Announcer Guy: Funding for this program has been brought to you by...Voodoo Doll Incorporated! Get All your Voodoo needs! And Psycho Bitch Escort service! We provide a very active and entertaining evening! Tune in Next Week For WHY ME? asks Why? Digi-Destined! Find out the Truth about Matt and Tai!
(By the way, LF and WM? wrote this at three in the morning a long time ago working on sugar saturated soda)
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WHY ME? Asks Why
Guests: X-Men, Brotherhood
Guest Authors: Lethal Fairy, Diamond Unicorn
WHY ME?: ~phony smile and phony cheery voice~ Good morning-
Diamond Unicorn: But, it's night.
WM?: Well, on the east coast it's morning.
DU: No it isn't...
WM?: Leave me alone! Good whatever damn time of the damn day it is!
Hank: ~pops out~ Watch the language! We're trying to keep a PG rating! ~leaves~
WM? ~mutters~ It's my damn show. Why'd I put him in charge?
Lethal Fairy: Cuz you're stupid! Now drop the phoney act and introduce our vict- guest!
WM?: ~glares at LF, sighs, puts the phony act back on~ Right, our first guest is... Hey, who's our first guest?
LF: Storm, you idiot! This is your damn show!
Hank: Language, we haven't installed the censor, yet.
WM?: It's my damn show! ~phony act~ So, let's introduce our first guest, Miss Munroe!
Ororo: ~walks into room, pauses when she sees her chair's a folding chair~ A folding chair?
WM?: We kinda ran low on funds...
DU: That's because you decided the hosts get expensive chairs.
LF: Yep! My chair, not even the gods and goddesses can get me out of it! *rocks happily in recliner*
WM?: Right, so, Miss Munroe, how old are you?
Ororo: I'm twenty-one.
WM?: What's your favorite kind of candy?
Ororo: Shocktarts.
LF: Surprise, surprise. Stop with these boring questions!
WM?: Shh! We'll get to the other questions LATER. Is your hair naturally white?
Ororo: Yes.
WM?: And your eyes are naturally blue?
Ororo: Yes.
WM?: Are you and Mister Logan going out?
Ororo: Yes- what?
LF: There you have it! They're dating! So, how long have you been a couple?
Ororo: We are only friends.
WM?&LF: ~glance at each other~ Right. 'Close friends'.
LF: How long have you two been seeing each other?
Ororo: We see each other every day.
WM?: Stop with the stupid act!
LF: Why, you play the phony act.
WM?: I'm the damn main host! I do whatever I damn well want to!
DU: I'm trying to read a book, can you two be quiet...? ~goes back to some book with a horse on the cover~
LF: She's always reading...
WM?: So, how long have you and Logan been dating?
Ororo: I told you, we are just friends.
LF: Friends that see each other EVERYDAY. Friends that are always mysteriously not in the show. Friends-
Ororo: Fine, four months.
LF: And the truth comes out.
WM?: How long have you been 'together'?
Ororo: What? 'Together'?
LF: You heard the question!
Ororo: I don't know what you mean.
LF: Fine, I'll translate. How long have you two been having sexu-
Hank: Censors are now installed.
LF: What? ~shrug~ How long have you two had ****** **********? What the ****?!
WM?: **** him! So, Miss Munroe?
Ororo: Um, I have to go. ~walks off stage quickly~
LF: Well, we got nothing out of her.
WM?: Yes we did. We now know that she and Logan are having ***.
LF: These stupid censors.... Can I kill Mister McCoy?
WM?: Later... Next guest: Mister Logan!
Logan: ~enters stage and looks at the new lie detector~ This wasn't here before.
LF: Yes it was!
WM?: ~pushes Logan into chair, chair locks him in~ It was there all this time! It's all in your mind, there's no electric chair, you're relaxing. Anyway, my first question is: How long have you and Miss Munroe been 'together'?
Logan: We're not together. ~zap~ What the ****?
LF: It zaps you when you're lying. ~turns little knob all the way up~ Full powah!
WM?: Now, answer our question, Mister Logan.
Logan: Why do you want to know? ~zap~ I asked a question! ~zap~
LF: We ask the questions here, buddy! So, how long have you and Miss Munroe been 'together'?
Logan: We're not 'together'! ~zap~ *****************************************************!
LF: And this man is suppose to set an example for teenagers? ~sadly shakes head~
WM?: So, wanna answer the question yet?
Logan: I have! ~zap~
WM?: LIAR! You're not suppose to lie to children, you know it damages their minds!
Logan: I'm not sayin' anything! ~zap~
LF: You really hate the healing factor and metal right now, don't ya?
Logan: ~growl~ Ok, one week. ~zap~
LF: We heard different.
WM?: According to the lie detector, you're lying.
Logan: Fine, two weeks! ~zap~ One month. ~zap~ I told the truth! ~zap~ Ok, fine, four months! ~zap~ Fine SIX! ~no zap~
WM?: The truth comes out!
LF: But Miss Munroe said they've only been dating for four months... She was LYING!
WM?: So, how long have you been dating?
Logan: Seven months. ~zap~
LF: Have you EVEN gone out on a date?
Logan: Yeah. ~zap~
WM?: ~gasp~ They probably just ran into each other's arms...
LF: ~clears throat~ Moving on!
Logan: You ****ing kids let me go! ~zap~
WM?: Should we let 'im go?
LF: ~shrug~ For right now.
WM?: ~phony smile~ Let's move on to the next guest. Kitty!
Kitty: ~walks out on the stage, sits down in new recliner~
WM?: Where the hell did that recliner come from?
LF: The Magical Author's Silver Gel Pen That Never Runs Out Of Ink.
WM?: Why does she get a recliner?
LF: Because she's my favorite character!
WM?: Talk about irony... It's my show!
LF: I don't give a ****!
DU: Both of you be quiet.
WM?: Fine then! So, um... Kitty, how long have you and Lance been 'together?'
Kitty: Are you asking that to everyone?
WM?: Yes. Yes, I am.
Kitty: Me and Lance aren't 'together.'
Kita~offstage~: Yeah, right! My room's right next to yours...
Kitty: Kita, be quiet!
Kita~offstage~: ~imitation of Lance's voice~ Hey, Kitty, let's rock the bed!
Kitty: ~blush~ KITA! Stop it!
Kita~offstage~: ~imitation of Lance's voice~ Kitty, I'll rock your world!
Kitty: ~blushs even more~ KITA, I SWEAR!
Lance~offstage~: DIE, KITA!
Kita~offstage~: Aw, it's ok Lance. Kitten told me you were smaller and thinner then a needle, but she still loves you.
Lance~offstage~: I'm not smaller and thinner then a needle!
Kita~offstage~: You just can't give her what she needs Lance... But, obviously she can give you what you need. So, what does she do to make you call her a Pretty Kitty?
WM?: Where does she get all this stuff?
Kitty: I don't know, but I'm going to kill her. ~storms offstage~
WM?: Ooookkkk... next guest: Tabby!
Tabby: ~sits on recliner~
WM?: How come she gets a recliner...?
LF: She and Kitty are both my favorite characters! ~happily rocks in recliner~
WM?: ~glare at LF~ I hate you. ~to Tabby~ Now, how long have you and Kurt been 'together?'
Tabby: I don't think Blue wants me telling you.
WM?: Of course he does!
Kurt~offstage~: Nein I don't!
WM?: ~glare~ **** him... So, have you and Kurt found any other uses for his tail?
LF: And she says I have a sick mind...
Tabby: I don't think he wants me telling you that either.
WM?: Ok, how old are you, Tabby?
Tabby: 16...
WM?: What's your favorite color?
Tabby: Hmm...
Kurt~offstage~: It's blue!
Tabby: Kurt, don't speak for me! It's blue.
WM?: I'm glad to see she has a mind of her own.
LF: If Kurt's covered in blue fur, then is his-
WM?: NEXT QUESTION!
LF: ~rolls eyes~
WM?: You're not included in the next talkshow!
LF: Woe is me.
WM?: Um... Next guest! Rogue!
~Tabby leaves, Rogue comes in, sits down~
WM?: What's your favorite color?
LF: ~pulls anime-style hammer out of the air, smacks WM? in the head~
WM?: ~Rubs her head~ Where did you get that?!
~anime-style hammer vanishes LF smiles innocently~
WM: ~takes out light saber (I don't own those) tries to hit LF with it but misses by a lot and hits camera~ Oops....uh....
~Screen blanks out~
DU: We're experiencing technical difficulties...This is not a test...I repeat this is not a test.
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~? ~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~
Official Announcer Guy: Funding for this program has been brought to you by...Voodoo Doll Incorporated! Get All your Voodoo needs! And Psycho Bitch Escort service! We provide a very active and entertaining evening! Tune in Next Week For WHY ME? asks Why? Digi-Destined! Find out the Truth about Matt and Tai!
(By the way, LF and WM? wrote this at three in the morning a long time ago working on sugar saturated soda)