Author's Note: First off, I just wanted to apologize for not thanking everyone personally. I do appreciate every one of the reviews!
To Exhile87: Clever girl =) I'm still debating on Seifer/Quistis pairing. Depends on you guys . . . anyone out there want or don't want a Seifer/Quistis pairing in this fic?
To angel-of-the-lion: Thanks for proofing this chapter. =)
To Optical Goddess: To answer your questions, Squall walked Rinoa to the outskirts of the forest, just in sight of the village. Rinoa ran back to the village at the end of the last chapter. Second, Cid doesn't know Rinoa and Quistis are gone (they snuck out), but he'll find out soon enough. Thanks for the reviews, and I apologize if I was unclear.
Second thing, I didn't explain that the Garden concept is different in my fic. I just realized it was a bit ironic for the Sorceresses to lead the Garden – since Garden was created to destroy them in the game (not in my fic). Heh. It'll work out and I'll explain it further. Ok, til next time =P
I remember in waking what I see in dreams. A blur of images, memories repressed, deaths chosen to be forgotten. However, no matter how much I isolate my mind along with my being, I cannot and will not forget the murder of my parents; the betrayal of the one I thought loved us . . .
//Flashback//
"Squall, come here for a minute my darling," called a lovely voice of a woman from living room of the dorm. She had average brown hair pinned down with a hair band. Her patience with her impatient son was that of a mother – infinite. It was the third time she called for the young boy.
Squall, groaning trudged into the room, begrudging every minute of having to get ready for his 'important day.' "Mom, can we please go already? I look fine," he insisted.
Raine gave him the gentle smile that would forever be associated with her in Squall's memories. It symbolized her patience, kindness, and what Squall would later learn to be pure love. She motioned for him to come closer as she brushed her hair one last time.
"Let me straighten your clothes," she lightly ordered. She wanted the best for her son, just as every morally conscience parent would.
Squall rolled his eyes but obeyed. Dragging his steps he went over to the couch and plopped down, slouching as a small symbol of his rebellion.
Raine tenderly fixed the mess that was Squall, pushing his hair aside so that his eyes were visible. "There. Now that wasn't so bad right?"
Squall coughed a "whatever," which received another motherly smile from Raine.
She turned to him, becoming serious in nature. "Squall. I want you to listen to me very carefully."
Crossing his arms, he turned to his mother. Just because she was related to him didn't mean he would give her an easy time.
It seemed the perfect family with the typical problems – a rebellious son, a patient mother, the goofy father, and the playful daughter. Illusions were expected, even in the private homes of the mercenaries. They could not have the 'simple' problems of the civilian world. Their world was about murder, death, assassinations. Terrible memories of the mercenary lifestyle could only lay dormant for so long before seeping into the consciousness of the damned. They damned themselves with the choices they unknowingly made – participating in nightly raids of the innocents living around Garden.
"You're old enough to know the real truth of Garden, the sorceress . . ." she began. Even the best mothers could only bury the truth within the pretense of the 'normal' family life for so long.
With a faked yawn, Squall pretended not to hear, but complied by listening.
//End Flashback//
The self-declared, ex-mercenary crouched, hiding behind a part of the darkened wall surrounding the village. He was positioned on top of the wall, out of sight of the patrolling and very noisy guards, who chatted and talked of what their wives were cooking for dinner. Squall spotted the house Rinoa just entered and waited for Angelo, wherever that dog was, to find her and do the one thing he could not – properly comfort her. Even when he had been near her, saw the traitor tears fall heavy with guilt from her eyes, he knew not what to say, how to act. No one had comforted him in the painful history he knew to be his life.
Squall continued to remember the events of his past, the memories that tormented him especially in his loneliness and ironically peace. The quiet that enveloped him left him alone to his thoughts, his past, almost taunting him to find solace in nature's 'comfort.' Silence allowed his thoughts to plague him, ever reminding him of his failure, not as a mercenary, but as a son.
//Flashback//
"What do you mean Ultimecia is 'evil,' Mom?" Squall was puzzled by his mom. What she had told him completely conflicted what he had been taught by the academy. Civilians were the enemy, not the mercenaries, right?
"Squall . . ." Raine began as the door opened to reveal a tall, lanky, and clumsy figure and a much shorter figure.
Laguna coughed uncomfortably at his intrusion on the obviously serious discussion between his wife and son. "We can come back later. Ellone and I can practice some more magic. Right Ell?!" His childlike demeanor shone through as he knelt down to his daughter.
"Right Dad!" shouted the tiny figure as she lifted her small palm in a high-five. She bounced up and down eagerly at the prospect of playing with the 'faeries' magic. Laguna swept her up in his arms. He felt so lucky to have this bit of sanity in the dangerous Garden society. He had the perfect family – the hyper, cute daughter, the tough son, and a wife that was the very image of loveliness. Adoringly, he turned shy eyes to his wife.
Raine shook her head. "You should hear this too Ellone. Sit next to your brother."
Laguna knew what Raine had to say and sat in an adjacent chair, close to his beautiful, strong wife. She was the reason that they had not become void of humanity just as the other mercenaries. He reached over and clasped her small hands in his larger ones.
//End Flashback//
The incident was considered non-existent by the mercenaries. Raine and Laguna were merely dead, and therefore harmless, traitors to them. His parents, who had trusted in each other, died together. Squall's parents died for subtly refusing orders – to kill civilians. They had not openly disobeyed Ultimecia, they merely covered any evidence that they had not killed anyone. Their mistake was being good parents.
They told their children of the evils of Garden, how they survived through pretense of compliance. Raine and Laguna never expected such an outcome for their caring.
Ellone betrayed them – she had been closer to the Sorceress than her parents. She turned her own parents in. It was considered the ultimate crime and 'rewarded' by days of torture. He remembered SeeD had taken him to see his parents – chained, kept only feet apart from each other – torture in itself. They were not allowed solace in each other's company. Laguna's arms were sore as he continually strained against his bondage to touch his wife's fingertips.
Squall shuddered, from the bitter chill of the winter wind or from the emotional scars, he knew not. The fateful events continued to play within his mind as the uneasy silence wrapped around him once more.
//Flashback//
His mother looked at him with the same kind eyes he had always known, despite the open wounds, bruises, and dried blood on her face. "Squall," she croaked, as her throat had been deprived of water for several days. "We love you." She coughed for several minutes, trying to regain energy to speak. Words were an effort. "Don't make the same mistake we did . . ." she whispered.
Ultimecia smirked in satisfaction. Finally, the imbecile had learned.
The wickedly powerful sorceress didn't realize Raine was referring to a different mistake – not having enough courage to leave, to live in exile as they were hunted. But they would be free from the constraints of the sorceress, free to live the 'normal' life they tried so hard to portray to their kids, and free to just live.
Laguna smiled with a split lip at his clever wife and watched his young son with his good eye. "Son, I want you to know, we're proud of you. Don't worry about us – just . . ." he coughed, spitting up blood from his internal wounds. He raised his head after a few minutes when he managed enough strength. "Just . . . live a better life."
Squall could not maintain the ordered silence, as he saw the battered figures he knew to be his parents. He could not leave them to their death. He needed them, just as much as he had ever needed anyone. Squall thought his misbehavior towards his mother had caused this. "Mom! Dad! Don't leave me!" Pools of water formed in the young boy's gray-blue eyes. Ultimecia immediately motioned to the SeeD next to Squall to force him into compliance.
The SeeD gave a brutal, sharp kick to Squall, causing him to fall on his knees.
"No! Please don't hurt him!" cried his parents. "Isn't watching us in this state punishment enough?" Laguna strained against the chain and wished he could touch his son one last time or to hear Squall say "whatever," or to hold his son while he cried – the things the civilian fathers were allowed to do.
He was denied all of this by the cold metal cutting sharply into his wrists.
Ultimecia snorted a laugh. "There is never enough punishment, especially for traitors" stated the sorceress with a cold and voice devoid of emotion. Her flaming red eyes watched the heartbreaking scene with delight. She took shameful pleasure in
The SeeD dragged Squall by his arms from the room as the boy struggled to help his parents.
"Please Ultimecia! I'll behave better! I'll do anything . . . just don't" Squall didn't restrain the gush of tears falling down his cheek, creating a small trail of tears on the floor - a similar path of liquid that would cruelly parallel the blood trails created by his parents' dead bodies days later as they were dragged to be buried in unmarked graves.
Raine bitter-sweetly smiled. It was the first time she had seen Squall show such vivid emotions. She forcefully bit her lip in an effort not to cry. "Stay strong Squall. We'll always be watching over you."
The SeeD, getting tired of the struggling knocked Squall unconscious with a blow to the back of the head. Days later, Squall would learn that his parents had died and Ellone had been rewarded, but he didn't know for what reason. He would realize years later, she had been promoted based upon the death of her parents. She used her own parents as the stepping blocks for a damn career boost.
Squall saw the satisfied smile on Ellone's face as she was announced as the Sorceress's heir for her 'heroic' deed. He hated her, but not as much as he hated himself. Squall had not being able to protect his parents.
//End Flashback//
A lone tear formed in his eye, but he would not let it escape the confines of his eyes. Shaking the memories Squall focused upon his surroundings, seeing Rinoa just enter her bedroom and falling upon the bed. Snow drifted in the wind, caressing Squall and landing upon the roofs of already white covered houses. However, he paid no attention to the nature wintry scene of beauty and peace. Nature had the best facades and could be a bitch at times, mocking him in his pain. His angelic vision was inside the house in front of his position.
Squall shifted his gaze as the darkness fell, adjusting to the night. His grey-blue eyes could see everything – as if it was day. Night vision was granted through genetic alteration undergone as a mercenary, as well as increased senses, agility, speed, strength and intelligence. Only the alterations of a few genes caused the difference in the otherwise human mercenaries.
Rinoa hugged herself, throwing off the grayish-white fur lined cloak. She collapsed on her soft bed, a weeping bundle. I'm destined to be alone, to be the outcast no matter where I am. I can't escape who I am . . . what I've done.
Squall could only watch her from afar – admiring and feeling a distant and rekindled ache in his heart.
He had remained an orphan after the death of his parents, struggling to survive the training, the taunts of fellow trainees. It was part of the reason he became the 'lone wolf' in the academy. The other being the difference he knew existed between him and the rest of Garden. He had kept his conscience through the brainwashing. Images of his tortured parents kept him painfully aware of the true nature of the mercenary academy.
Gardens were created to conquer the world. There was a tentative truce among the Gardens while fighting the civilians. However, during times of 'peace' in the world, civil war would break out as one or two Gardens would challenge the dominant garden – which had been Balamb Garden for quite some time.
A burly white and very unhappy dog trudged through the door. Squall could barely identify the thing as Angelo, as he could only see the eyes of the poor snow covered dog with the matching flower in his mouth.
Apparently Rinoa couldn't recognize Angelo either. "Angelo? Is that you?" She questioned, looking up from her tears.
A whimper was her answer as the dog still held the rose in his mouth. The look in his eyes begged her to take the flower so he could finally shake himself free of the unwanted white 'cloak.'
Rinoa gasped in surprise. Where had Angelo found such a flower as the Snow Rose? Plucking the delicate, fresh flower from her pet, she glanced at the tip of the stem. It had been cut cleanly – something Angelo would have never been able to do.
Squall. The answer slipped into her thoughts. Taking the extraordinary specimen of rose gently she hugged it and kissed the soft, feathery petals. Thank you, thank you Squall. Smiling she set the flower on the dresser next to her bed and turned off the light. An silvery glow radiated from the gift – eternal light until winter faded into spring.
The pure white, blue tipped rose would last until spring – withering away as it heralded the coming of the true spring. Crystalline drops of water decorated the unique flower. It was a truly magical and special gift.
Squall continued to spy upon the girl, watching over her until she fell asleep. She was a vision to behold, falling peacefully asleep, mocking the tempest forming outside of her window. Squall finally noticed the storm, stinging his cheek with bits of flurried ice. Sleep well, Winter Rose. . . Shards of emotion colored the eyes of the normally very reserved man as he drank in the sight of a delicate soul resting in her dreams. Wistfully, he hoped she was dreaming of him. Such thoughts aren't very becoming of me . . . He chided himself – feeling for the first time in his life that his existence wasn't pointless, meaningless.
Through the layers of snow and darkened light Squall memorized Rinoa's feminine features. Secretly and even hidden to Squall's consciousness, he dared to wonder how Rinoa's arms would feel around him as she slept in his arms.
When he ingrained a picture of her into his mind, he left, sweeping his thick but battered cloak behind him and the hood on his head, unnoticed by the world as he became camouflaged with the darkness. Squall left to find a place to rest for the night. Doubt of her never plagued his mind once. Squall stayed true to his instincts of her – not the instincts of his warrior nature . . . but of his heart. He would not fail to protect the ones he cared for again.
He believed in her, even though she had never asked him to.