A/N: Alright, finally the last chapter. My first finished story (lol)
woohoo!
It's been great. Thanks a ton for your reviews on this story and 'Could it be Any Harder'. You all rock. Sorry if this didn't have as much Paul as you might have liked, but this isn't really a 'Paul' story. If you want one check out my story "So Far Away" *wink* lol.
The first song in this chapter is called "The Sun" by Maroon 5. The second song is "Even In Death" by Evanescence (a very pretty song, btw)
A Special thanks tinkerbaby466 for that little nudge. :D And Mystique Angelique partly because she helped me with some ideas and told me that nobody could hate me even though I'm a murderer (not really). And because I know how much she loves getting acknowledged. lol
Well, I hope you liked how this turned out and don't think I'm some crazed murderer because I'm not. It'll all end happily I promise. But this chapter is sad so if you cannot handle high levels of sadness, you have been warned.
~*~*~*~
"I want to visit my parents," I said, twisting a small part of my skirt in my hands nervously. "I want to see my step-brothers, and Andy. I miss them." I looked back up at them, smiling hopefully. "You'll come with me, right?"
"Er," Jesse said, his eyes darting to the floor. "We really should be getting back, Susannah." He began to turn away.
"No," I said, grabbing his hand tightly. "I really want both of you to come with me." Jesse took my hand in his and I caught a glimpse of Luke who made a face at the sight of my hand in Jesse's.
"Bueno," he shrugged, digging his hands into the pocket of his jeans. "We'll wait here."
I grinned and jogged about half the block up to the old house. I'd only been living there a short time so it still looked a bit strange. I walked up the front steps and through the door uncertainly. A gust of air whipped my hair around as a woman rushed pass me and into the next room. I didn't have time to see who she was but I had a pretty good feeling I knew who it could be.
And sure enough, when I followed her into the living room, there was my mother, clutching a little girl who looked about two years old in her arms. I felt my eyes well up with tears, just at the sight of her! I was going soft. Because you know how often I cry: Never. Now it seemed I was crying at the drop of a hat.
But lately things have been different. I guess seeing my family again has brought up a different side of me. The more emotional, appreciative Suze Simon. Yeah, right. I wiped my eyes and sucked it in. But that didn't mean I still didn't miss my mommy.
So I threw my self at my mom, hoping to wrap my arms around her in a hug. Much to my dismay, my arms simply went through her in a swirling mist. I let my arms fall limply at my sides in defeat. Maybe Luke was right: coming back home wasn't a good idea. I sighed sharply.
While my mom playing with this girl and cooed in baby-talk, I walked slowly, admiring the different pictures on the wall. All were in neat rows in their mahogany frames. I smiled at the photos of my mom and Andy on their wedding day, miniature versions of the Doc, Dopey and Sleepy I knew; all posing in stuffy suits for a family portrait Andy made them take a few years back. Then a picture of Andy's first wife. She looked the same as always with short, mousy-brown hair and a broad grin on her face. You see, I happened to remember all of these pictures because they were on the wall when I was still alive. But the farther down the line of pictures I looked, the more unfamiliar they became.
There were photographs of an older Doc, whose shoulders were broader and without braces and that wiry red hair. He was actually kind of good-looking in a weird, geeky step-brother kind of way. And Dopey, who actually looked smart in his cap and graduation gown, grinned in another picture.
The next one was of a little baby, a newborn, really. Judging by the pink blanket it was wrapped in I assumed it was a girl. This same little girl was in a few more pictures looking a bit older in each one. The one that caught my eye the most was one where Andy, Doc, Dopey, Sleepy and my mom, with the baby in her arms, sat smiling in some professional family photograph. And I wasn't in it.
Even more, that baby was my mom's. My mother had another kid. I wasn't there to help her out during her pregnancy, or be there when my little sister was born. It was all too much for one visit, I had to get out. Turning, I ran out of the house as fast as possible.
And I cannot remember
What life was like from photographs
And trying to recreate
Images life gives us from the past
And sometimes it's a sad song
It was too bad my dramatic exit was ruined when I ran into someone just entering the front door. Only since I was a ghost, I flew right through them. I looked back at who I'd just missed.
It was Jake. He was grinning broadly while he talked to my mom. And he had a reason to smile, too, since one of his arms was wrapped snugly around Gina's waist. Yes! Gina by best friend from New York, Gina. And she and Sleepy were together. This was like some creepy dream you just want to wake from. My best friend and my step-brother. Maybe if I'd been alive I could have talked her out of it.
But then again, looking at her, she didn't seem like she wanted to be talked out of anything. Her smile was glowing and she still looked the same as she always did, only she'd swapped the many copper braids for straight, long black hair. Again, I couldn't bear to look at the two. Not because they made me sick, but because they reminded me of everything I miss about being alive.
But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you and
Take my breathe away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I've gone through
But mama, I've been crying
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun
So once again I pushed my way past the front door and rushed back to where I'd last seen Jesse and Lucas. While Jesse was sitting idly on a bench under a giant oak tree Luke was nowhere in sight. I jogged up to him and rested my hand on the bench. Craning my neck, I looked around. "Where's Luke?" I said.
"He left." He said and for a second I saw a twinkle of guilt flash through his onyx eyes.
"Why?" I eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, Jesse, please tell me you didn't..."
Jesse gave me a look. "No, Susannah. He wanted me to tell you that he only did what he thought was right and he didn't think it was his place to be here." I slumped down in the spot beside Jesse.
"You sure?"
He nodded. "How's your mother doing?" he asked politely. All this chit chat was getting more and more aggravating. There was always this polite awkwardness between us. It was like we both wanted to just forget everything and engage in this passionate make-out session but we knew better. This led to a lot of annoying small talk to fill the harrowing silence that plagued the air every time we were together.
I cleared my throat and shifted nervously. He had to have felt that thick tension looming in the air. It was unmistakable. "Um, yeah my mother's fine. You know. What with her new baby and all. Oh and I'm sure Sleepy and Gina are great too." I spat, my voice suddenly bitter with sarcasm.
Jesse looked hurt. "Querida, no sabia. I didn't even know. Now, what is this you say about your mother?" I stood up, making my way deep into the woods behind the park.
"You heard me. She had another kid. With Andy." I shuddered a bit at the thought while twigs snapped beneath my feet. I trudged past the trees, Jesse not far behind, occasionally checking the ground for snakes or scorpions. Hey, I was dead but that didn't mean they couldn't jump out of the bushes and poison me with their evil venom.
Soon I found myself walking along the creek that led to the back of my house. As I walked, I let my hand brush past the cattails, taller than I was, and through the sweet smelling purple flowers, seeds sticking to my hands. The whole place was way peaceful. I mean, I could sit there in the grass all day, just listening to the birds chirping, water running and letting the sun warm my face.
Jesse didn't say anything the whole time. I lie down on the grass lazily, stretching my arms out beneath me. I wanted to lie here forever. I looked up at him but his face was twisted in a frown as he looked not at me but at something directly behind me. "What's wrong?" I asked, twisting around to see what he was looking at.
My mouth fell open. What was he doing here? How could he show his face again after what happened? Panicking, I grabbed Jesse's sleeve and hastily pulled him behind this big, thorny bush. "Is that who I think it is?" I hissed through gritted teeth. How *dare* he show his face around here? Even more, don't you think after killing me, he would at least have moved on, not hung around his brother's house for two years. Jesse opened his mouth to answer. "Nevermind," I said. "What in the hell is he doing here? Especially after what happened... how... I-- I'm speechless."
I looked up and Jesse was no longer crouched next to me, but striding right up to Austin, his head held high. My eyes widened. What was Jesse doing? I mean, knowing that this was the same guy--- not even a real guy; really, I mean he's... what... 12 years old? ---who had killed me two years ago, he'd still gone strolling up to him. What the hell!? Hadn't he noticed that this time he was the one with a life to lose?
"Jesse," I cried, my voice rising an octave or so. Austin noticed me and his face brightened up, not in a good way either. It reminded me of Paul's expression when I would walk into the room.
"So we meet again," he said, smiling at me. He was paler than ever and his eyes were a cool, bone chilling gray. "What brings you back here so soon, Susie?" I shuddered, the similarities were uncanny.
I regarded him coldly. "It's Suze. Come one, Jesse, let's just go." I said, tugging on his sleeve.
"No," Jesse said, his eyes fixed on Austin's. "I'm going until I make this boy realize the consequences of his actions. How can he live like this? How can he live knowing that he killed a young girl who had all her life ahead of her?" His gaze on Austin was intense and burning with anger. Suddenly his face softened a bit. "Why'd you do it, Austin?"
He stopped and thought for a moment, trying to come up with a good answer, I guess. "Susie, here, was getting on my nerves." He said, simply. My mouth fell open. *I was getting on his nerves?* Who the hell did this kid think he was? What gave him the right to kill someone just because they got on his nerves!? Then Jesse did what I had not even dared to think of.
(A/N: and now for the little scene borrowed from the dozens of Spanish soap operas I watched when I was little...)
He actually punched Austin in the stomach, which sent him flying backwards into the metal fence. "Jesse!" I shrieked. "He's only a kid! What are you doing?" Only Jesse didn't have time to answer because Austin got up and punched Jesse back causing him to roll backwards almost halfway down the hill. Now, I wasn't actually participating in the fight, but I could tell, just from watching, that something was up with Austin. Because no ordinary 12 year old is capable of sending a full grown man down a hill with just one punch. I was no longer so sympathetic toward Austin. Besides, he was already dead, and I didn't want my Jesse getting hurt.
Jesse, of course, was promptly back up on his feet. He charged back up at Austin who slammed into him with an equal amount of force, causing them both to tumble to the ground. Jesse, I could tell, had no mercy towards this boy. At least not anymore. He was all fists. It actually looked pretty silly, this man fighting with a slender boy, but I could just tell that Austin was in no way as strong as he appeared to be. No, he was much, much stronger.
That's when Austin seemed to pull something out of the grass and held it close to Jesse's face as he pinned him to the ground. It was a gun. It felt like time had stopped for than one instant. My whole body went dumb, my heart pounding faster and faster. But all I could do was stand there, my eyes wide in horror. Because I knew. Boy, did I know it all too well. This wasn't a joke. Because this boy was actually capable of murder.
"No!" I shouted, regaining my voice. "Austin, don't do it. Just stop!" I should have helped. I really, should have but I couldn't. As I said before, I was numb with fear. I stood there telling my legs to move, to run, anything. But nothing happened. Here I was, the all powerful Susannah Simon, and all I could do was stand there like an idiot. Sure, I was quick to jump in other times. But then, the fight didn't involve the man I loved. I realized that he was actually in danger, that the gun was real—all he had to do was pull the trigger—and I froze.
Jesse tried to knock the gun out of Austin's hands but he held a firm grip and they continued rolling around, the gun had disappeared between them.
Then it happened. In that single split second, my world was changed forever.
It was the sickening click of someone's hand pulling back on the trigger and the deafening pop of the bullet exiting the gun. It seemed hours that the sound of the gun being fired echoed inside my ears. Time froze once again and all I did was stand there, staring at the two in horror.
"No," I whispered.
In all that commotion, I hadn't noticed exactly who the gun had been fired at. It could have been both of them, really. Each of their faces were pale, their mouths opened in surprise. But slowly, Austin began to fall backwards until he was sprawled out on the ground, thick blood spots coating his ghostly white hospital gown.
But I knew. It wasn't his blood. It was Jesse's. Austin had shot Jesse. My Jesse. And all I had done to help him was standing idly by, twiddling my thumbs. How could I have let this happen right before my very own eyes? I collapsed next to him, cradling his limp body in my arms. I smoothed his hair with my fingers. "Shh..." I whispered, my breathe coming out in short, anxious puffs. "It'll be alright, Jesse. Just hang in there." Only I knew it wouldn't be all right. Ever.
I traced my hand down to his stomach, where blood was seeping through his black t-shirt, leaving a dark crimson stain. Then it really struck me. As Jesse was lying there helplessly and as his head gently fell back against my arm, I realized what had happened. Jesse was dead. But I didn't want to believe it. Hadn't he suffered enough by dying once? No. It wasn't possible. He can't be dead.
I brought my hand to his cheek and caressed it lightly, tracing my fingertips up to his forehead where I pushed his damp hair out of his eyes. His wonderful black eyes. Slowly, they fluttered to a close.
"No," I shook my head. "No, Jesse, don't go." I held him tight against me. "Please," I whispered. Then, hoping by some strange miracle that this would help, I lowered my head and gave him a simple kiss on his lips, which were still warm. I opened my eyes, focusing all of my energy on bringing him back. Something, anything to help him. I looked again. He lay limp in my lap. "No! Don't leave me!" I shook him violently so that even my hair beat against my face.
The sky was a deep blue. The sun was glowing brightly and there was a warm breeze swaying through the grass. Birds chirped happily in the distance. It was a beautiful day. Not the kind of day you'd picture something like this happening in. You'd never believe that behind the thick veil of sunlight, I had just lost the one person I loved more than anyone in the entire world.
My best friend was dead.
And right there in broad daylight, I burst into tears. Everything I'd been holding back for all this time came out in great big sobs. I cried for everything. For Jesse and how much I loved him. And for Lucas and Father Dom for not having the chance to get to know them better. And I cried for Austin, the poor boy who had so much pent up anger that he had to go and do something like this. And I cried for my mom and my step-brothers and Gina and Cee Cee and Adam. And finally, I wept for myself. I cried because I wanted to. Because I needed to.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of those shaking sobs and holding Jesse's cold body close against mine, I stopped, feeling like there was nothing left to do. Austin had left. That bastard. I was alone. The sun had set and the thick blanket of stars glowed brightly in the sky. I hadn't even noticed. I stood up, wiping my eyes. Then there was a tap on my shoulder. I wiped my eyes and turned around.
Jesse slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. "Mi amor." He said in a deep whisper. When he kissed me, I felt as light as a feather and let myself fall into him. Into his possessive embrace. I sighed against his lips as he kissed me with all his might, his tongue against mine and our bodies closer than they have ever been. His hands roamed my back and I let my fingertips explore every ridge of his muscles.
He pulled away sharply and I frowned, panting. I didn't want this to end. I wanted to stand there, kissing Jesse under the stars forever. The strangest thing happened, though. When he let me go, I felt myself go limp all over. Like all I needed to live was just to be in Jesse's arms.
"Jesse," I said, my eyes were welling up with tears once more. "I was so scared back there. I thought I'd lose you again."
He kissed me lightly. "Me too, Susannah. But we can finally be together." His eyes twinkled with the silver glow of the moon up above. "Come away with me, querida." He said, pulling me closer.
I wrapped my arms around his back and rested my head against his chest, nuzzling his neck. "Yes, Jesse." I whispered. "Anything you say." I smiled as we dematerialized, leaving behind only the tale of an impossible love and a happy ending.
Give me a reason to believe that you're gone.
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong.
Moonlight on the soft brown earth,
It leads me to where you lay.
They took you away from me,
But now I'm taking you home.
I will stay forever here with you,
My love.
The softly spoken words you gave me,
Even in death our love goes on
Some say I'm crazy for my love.
Oh, my love.
But no bonds can hold me from your side,
My love
They don't know you can't leave me,
They don't hear you singing to me.
I will stay forever here with you,
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me,
Even in death our love goes on.
And I can't love you anymore than I do.
~FIN~
It's been great. Thanks a ton for your reviews on this story and 'Could it be Any Harder'. You all rock. Sorry if this didn't have as much Paul as you might have liked, but this isn't really a 'Paul' story. If you want one check out my story "So Far Away" *wink* lol.
The first song in this chapter is called "The Sun" by Maroon 5. The second song is "Even In Death" by Evanescence (a very pretty song, btw)
A Special thanks tinkerbaby466 for that little nudge. :D And Mystique Angelique partly because she helped me with some ideas and told me that nobody could hate me even though I'm a murderer (not really). And because I know how much she loves getting acknowledged. lol
Well, I hope you liked how this turned out and don't think I'm some crazed murderer because I'm not. It'll all end happily I promise. But this chapter is sad so if you cannot handle high levels of sadness, you have been warned.
~*~*~*~
"I want to visit my parents," I said, twisting a small part of my skirt in my hands nervously. "I want to see my step-brothers, and Andy. I miss them." I looked back up at them, smiling hopefully. "You'll come with me, right?"
"Er," Jesse said, his eyes darting to the floor. "We really should be getting back, Susannah." He began to turn away.
"No," I said, grabbing his hand tightly. "I really want both of you to come with me." Jesse took my hand in his and I caught a glimpse of Luke who made a face at the sight of my hand in Jesse's.
"Bueno," he shrugged, digging his hands into the pocket of his jeans. "We'll wait here."
I grinned and jogged about half the block up to the old house. I'd only been living there a short time so it still looked a bit strange. I walked up the front steps and through the door uncertainly. A gust of air whipped my hair around as a woman rushed pass me and into the next room. I didn't have time to see who she was but I had a pretty good feeling I knew who it could be.
And sure enough, when I followed her into the living room, there was my mother, clutching a little girl who looked about two years old in her arms. I felt my eyes well up with tears, just at the sight of her! I was going soft. Because you know how often I cry: Never. Now it seemed I was crying at the drop of a hat.
But lately things have been different. I guess seeing my family again has brought up a different side of me. The more emotional, appreciative Suze Simon. Yeah, right. I wiped my eyes and sucked it in. But that didn't mean I still didn't miss my mommy.
So I threw my self at my mom, hoping to wrap my arms around her in a hug. Much to my dismay, my arms simply went through her in a swirling mist. I let my arms fall limply at my sides in defeat. Maybe Luke was right: coming back home wasn't a good idea. I sighed sharply.
While my mom playing with this girl and cooed in baby-talk, I walked slowly, admiring the different pictures on the wall. All were in neat rows in their mahogany frames. I smiled at the photos of my mom and Andy on their wedding day, miniature versions of the Doc, Dopey and Sleepy I knew; all posing in stuffy suits for a family portrait Andy made them take a few years back. Then a picture of Andy's first wife. She looked the same as always with short, mousy-brown hair and a broad grin on her face. You see, I happened to remember all of these pictures because they were on the wall when I was still alive. But the farther down the line of pictures I looked, the more unfamiliar they became.
There were photographs of an older Doc, whose shoulders were broader and without braces and that wiry red hair. He was actually kind of good-looking in a weird, geeky step-brother kind of way. And Dopey, who actually looked smart in his cap and graduation gown, grinned in another picture.
The next one was of a little baby, a newborn, really. Judging by the pink blanket it was wrapped in I assumed it was a girl. This same little girl was in a few more pictures looking a bit older in each one. The one that caught my eye the most was one where Andy, Doc, Dopey, Sleepy and my mom, with the baby in her arms, sat smiling in some professional family photograph. And I wasn't in it.
Even more, that baby was my mom's. My mother had another kid. I wasn't there to help her out during her pregnancy, or be there when my little sister was born. It was all too much for one visit, I had to get out. Turning, I ran out of the house as fast as possible.
And I cannot remember
What life was like from photographs
And trying to recreate
Images life gives us from the past
And sometimes it's a sad song
It was too bad my dramatic exit was ruined when I ran into someone just entering the front door. Only since I was a ghost, I flew right through them. I looked back at who I'd just missed.
It was Jake. He was grinning broadly while he talked to my mom. And he had a reason to smile, too, since one of his arms was wrapped snugly around Gina's waist. Yes! Gina by best friend from New York, Gina. And she and Sleepy were together. This was like some creepy dream you just want to wake from. My best friend and my step-brother. Maybe if I'd been alive I could have talked her out of it.
But then again, looking at her, she didn't seem like she wanted to be talked out of anything. Her smile was glowing and she still looked the same as she always did, only she'd swapped the many copper braids for straight, long black hair. Again, I couldn't bear to look at the two. Not because they made me sick, but because they reminded me of everything I miss about being alive.
But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you and
Take my breathe away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I've gone through
But mama, I've been crying
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun
So once again I pushed my way past the front door and rushed back to where I'd last seen Jesse and Lucas. While Jesse was sitting idly on a bench under a giant oak tree Luke was nowhere in sight. I jogged up to him and rested my hand on the bench. Craning my neck, I looked around. "Where's Luke?" I said.
"He left." He said and for a second I saw a twinkle of guilt flash through his onyx eyes.
"Why?" I eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, Jesse, please tell me you didn't..."
Jesse gave me a look. "No, Susannah. He wanted me to tell you that he only did what he thought was right and he didn't think it was his place to be here." I slumped down in the spot beside Jesse.
"You sure?"
He nodded. "How's your mother doing?" he asked politely. All this chit chat was getting more and more aggravating. There was always this polite awkwardness between us. It was like we both wanted to just forget everything and engage in this passionate make-out session but we knew better. This led to a lot of annoying small talk to fill the harrowing silence that plagued the air every time we were together.
I cleared my throat and shifted nervously. He had to have felt that thick tension looming in the air. It was unmistakable. "Um, yeah my mother's fine. You know. What with her new baby and all. Oh and I'm sure Sleepy and Gina are great too." I spat, my voice suddenly bitter with sarcasm.
Jesse looked hurt. "Querida, no sabia. I didn't even know. Now, what is this you say about your mother?" I stood up, making my way deep into the woods behind the park.
"You heard me. She had another kid. With Andy." I shuddered a bit at the thought while twigs snapped beneath my feet. I trudged past the trees, Jesse not far behind, occasionally checking the ground for snakes or scorpions. Hey, I was dead but that didn't mean they couldn't jump out of the bushes and poison me with their evil venom.
Soon I found myself walking along the creek that led to the back of my house. As I walked, I let my hand brush past the cattails, taller than I was, and through the sweet smelling purple flowers, seeds sticking to my hands. The whole place was way peaceful. I mean, I could sit there in the grass all day, just listening to the birds chirping, water running and letting the sun warm my face.
Jesse didn't say anything the whole time. I lie down on the grass lazily, stretching my arms out beneath me. I wanted to lie here forever. I looked up at him but his face was twisted in a frown as he looked not at me but at something directly behind me. "What's wrong?" I asked, twisting around to see what he was looking at.
My mouth fell open. What was he doing here? How could he show his face again after what happened? Panicking, I grabbed Jesse's sleeve and hastily pulled him behind this big, thorny bush. "Is that who I think it is?" I hissed through gritted teeth. How *dare* he show his face around here? Even more, don't you think after killing me, he would at least have moved on, not hung around his brother's house for two years. Jesse opened his mouth to answer. "Nevermind," I said. "What in the hell is he doing here? Especially after what happened... how... I-- I'm speechless."
I looked up and Jesse was no longer crouched next to me, but striding right up to Austin, his head held high. My eyes widened. What was Jesse doing? I mean, knowing that this was the same guy--- not even a real guy; really, I mean he's... what... 12 years old? ---who had killed me two years ago, he'd still gone strolling up to him. What the hell!? Hadn't he noticed that this time he was the one with a life to lose?
"Jesse," I cried, my voice rising an octave or so. Austin noticed me and his face brightened up, not in a good way either. It reminded me of Paul's expression when I would walk into the room.
"So we meet again," he said, smiling at me. He was paler than ever and his eyes were a cool, bone chilling gray. "What brings you back here so soon, Susie?" I shuddered, the similarities were uncanny.
I regarded him coldly. "It's Suze. Come one, Jesse, let's just go." I said, tugging on his sleeve.
"No," Jesse said, his eyes fixed on Austin's. "I'm going until I make this boy realize the consequences of his actions. How can he live like this? How can he live knowing that he killed a young girl who had all her life ahead of her?" His gaze on Austin was intense and burning with anger. Suddenly his face softened a bit. "Why'd you do it, Austin?"
He stopped and thought for a moment, trying to come up with a good answer, I guess. "Susie, here, was getting on my nerves." He said, simply. My mouth fell open. *I was getting on his nerves?* Who the hell did this kid think he was? What gave him the right to kill someone just because they got on his nerves!? Then Jesse did what I had not even dared to think of.
(A/N: and now for the little scene borrowed from the dozens of Spanish soap operas I watched when I was little...)
He actually punched Austin in the stomach, which sent him flying backwards into the metal fence. "Jesse!" I shrieked. "He's only a kid! What are you doing?" Only Jesse didn't have time to answer because Austin got up and punched Jesse back causing him to roll backwards almost halfway down the hill. Now, I wasn't actually participating in the fight, but I could tell, just from watching, that something was up with Austin. Because no ordinary 12 year old is capable of sending a full grown man down a hill with just one punch. I was no longer so sympathetic toward Austin. Besides, he was already dead, and I didn't want my Jesse getting hurt.
Jesse, of course, was promptly back up on his feet. He charged back up at Austin who slammed into him with an equal amount of force, causing them both to tumble to the ground. Jesse, I could tell, had no mercy towards this boy. At least not anymore. He was all fists. It actually looked pretty silly, this man fighting with a slender boy, but I could just tell that Austin was in no way as strong as he appeared to be. No, he was much, much stronger.
That's when Austin seemed to pull something out of the grass and held it close to Jesse's face as he pinned him to the ground. It was a gun. It felt like time had stopped for than one instant. My whole body went dumb, my heart pounding faster and faster. But all I could do was stand there, my eyes wide in horror. Because I knew. Boy, did I know it all too well. This wasn't a joke. Because this boy was actually capable of murder.
"No!" I shouted, regaining my voice. "Austin, don't do it. Just stop!" I should have helped. I really, should have but I couldn't. As I said before, I was numb with fear. I stood there telling my legs to move, to run, anything. But nothing happened. Here I was, the all powerful Susannah Simon, and all I could do was stand there like an idiot. Sure, I was quick to jump in other times. But then, the fight didn't involve the man I loved. I realized that he was actually in danger, that the gun was real—all he had to do was pull the trigger—and I froze.
Jesse tried to knock the gun out of Austin's hands but he held a firm grip and they continued rolling around, the gun had disappeared between them.
Then it happened. In that single split second, my world was changed forever.
It was the sickening click of someone's hand pulling back on the trigger and the deafening pop of the bullet exiting the gun. It seemed hours that the sound of the gun being fired echoed inside my ears. Time froze once again and all I did was stand there, staring at the two in horror.
"No," I whispered.
In all that commotion, I hadn't noticed exactly who the gun had been fired at. It could have been both of them, really. Each of their faces were pale, their mouths opened in surprise. But slowly, Austin began to fall backwards until he was sprawled out on the ground, thick blood spots coating his ghostly white hospital gown.
But I knew. It wasn't his blood. It was Jesse's. Austin had shot Jesse. My Jesse. And all I had done to help him was standing idly by, twiddling my thumbs. How could I have let this happen right before my very own eyes? I collapsed next to him, cradling his limp body in my arms. I smoothed his hair with my fingers. "Shh..." I whispered, my breathe coming out in short, anxious puffs. "It'll be alright, Jesse. Just hang in there." Only I knew it wouldn't be all right. Ever.
I traced my hand down to his stomach, where blood was seeping through his black t-shirt, leaving a dark crimson stain. Then it really struck me. As Jesse was lying there helplessly and as his head gently fell back against my arm, I realized what had happened. Jesse was dead. But I didn't want to believe it. Hadn't he suffered enough by dying once? No. It wasn't possible. He can't be dead.
I brought my hand to his cheek and caressed it lightly, tracing my fingertips up to his forehead where I pushed his damp hair out of his eyes. His wonderful black eyes. Slowly, they fluttered to a close.
"No," I shook my head. "No, Jesse, don't go." I held him tight against me. "Please," I whispered. Then, hoping by some strange miracle that this would help, I lowered my head and gave him a simple kiss on his lips, which were still warm. I opened my eyes, focusing all of my energy on bringing him back. Something, anything to help him. I looked again. He lay limp in my lap. "No! Don't leave me!" I shook him violently so that even my hair beat against my face.
The sky was a deep blue. The sun was glowing brightly and there was a warm breeze swaying through the grass. Birds chirped happily in the distance. It was a beautiful day. Not the kind of day you'd picture something like this happening in. You'd never believe that behind the thick veil of sunlight, I had just lost the one person I loved more than anyone in the entire world.
My best friend was dead.
And right there in broad daylight, I burst into tears. Everything I'd been holding back for all this time came out in great big sobs. I cried for everything. For Jesse and how much I loved him. And for Lucas and Father Dom for not having the chance to get to know them better. And I cried for Austin, the poor boy who had so much pent up anger that he had to go and do something like this. And I cried for my mom and my step-brothers and Gina and Cee Cee and Adam. And finally, I wept for myself. I cried because I wanted to. Because I needed to.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of those shaking sobs and holding Jesse's cold body close against mine, I stopped, feeling like there was nothing left to do. Austin had left. That bastard. I was alone. The sun had set and the thick blanket of stars glowed brightly in the sky. I hadn't even noticed. I stood up, wiping my eyes. Then there was a tap on my shoulder. I wiped my eyes and turned around.
Jesse slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. "Mi amor." He said in a deep whisper. When he kissed me, I felt as light as a feather and let myself fall into him. Into his possessive embrace. I sighed against his lips as he kissed me with all his might, his tongue against mine and our bodies closer than they have ever been. His hands roamed my back and I let my fingertips explore every ridge of his muscles.
He pulled away sharply and I frowned, panting. I didn't want this to end. I wanted to stand there, kissing Jesse under the stars forever. The strangest thing happened, though. When he let me go, I felt myself go limp all over. Like all I needed to live was just to be in Jesse's arms.
"Jesse," I said, my eyes were welling up with tears once more. "I was so scared back there. I thought I'd lose you again."
He kissed me lightly. "Me too, Susannah. But we can finally be together." His eyes twinkled with the silver glow of the moon up above. "Come away with me, querida." He said, pulling me closer.
I wrapped my arms around his back and rested my head against his chest, nuzzling his neck. "Yes, Jesse." I whispered. "Anything you say." I smiled as we dematerialized, leaving behind only the tale of an impossible love and a happy ending.
Give me a reason to believe that you're gone.
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong.
Moonlight on the soft brown earth,
It leads me to where you lay.
They took you away from me,
But now I'm taking you home.
I will stay forever here with you,
My love.
The softly spoken words you gave me,
Even in death our love goes on
Some say I'm crazy for my love.
Oh, my love.
But no bonds can hold me from your side,
My love
They don't know you can't leave me,
They don't hear you singing to me.
I will stay forever here with you,
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me,
Even in death our love goes on.
And I can't love you anymore than I do.
~FIN~