Chapter 3-Eat it. All of it.
"Oy!" Peter yelled as Sirius leaned over him. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Trying to see the television, Bludger-boy," Sirius replied.
"Well, stop leaning over me!" Peter shoved him over. "You are invading my personal bubble."
Remus snorted. "With Sirius, there is no such thing as personal space."
"Are you implying something?"
"Yes."
"Like what?" Sirius demanded.
"Nothing," Remus said in a sing-songy voice.
"I'll have you know that I am very much attracted to the female sex, book-boy."
"Did I say that you weren't?"
"Boys, boys," Lily cut in. She and James were holding hands rather dreamily. "Let's not fuss."
"Easy for you to say, Miss Dreamy-eyes-Let's-go-snog-Jamie-poo." Peter said.
Everyone was surprised. Generally, Peter didn't make fun of James.
"Whoa-ho-ho, Wormtail. Getting feisty!" Sirius laughed.
"Would you gentlemen -and lady- be desirous of something to eat or drink?" the stewardess asked, showing off all her perfectly white teeth and shapely calves.
Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus all lost control of their jaw and anti-drool muscles. Lily groaned.
But before she could say anything, Sirius said, "Why yes, I'd *love* to have something," he paused, looking her up and down. "To eat, of course," he added, grinning.
The stewardess giggled. The others rolled their eyes, but Peter looked rather admiringly at Sirius.
"what would you like to eat?" she asked flirtatiously.
"How about a danish with some whipped cream?" Sirius said suggestively.
"Oh Lord," Remus muttered.
"I don't get it," Lily whispered.
"You don't want to," James replied.
The stewardess smiled. "Why don't you come back with me and get it?" she said, turning around with a slight wiggle to her hips. Sirius' eyes bulged. He almost flew over the seats after her. The rest of them stared. "I can't believe he's actually going back there," James said in disbelief.
"Me either," said Remus.
"I am now *positive* I do not want to know what was-" Lily was cut off by a smacking sound from further up and a very familiar howl of pain.
"THAT WILL SHOW YOU TO COME ON TO STEWARDESSES, YOU DISGUSTING, FOUL, PERVERSE, HORRIBLE--"
The authors now feel obliged to cut in on the stewardess' tirade, as she got rather foul-mouthed, and wish to assure you that the language then used was, indeed, disgusting, R-rated, and told Sirius to do things that made for very interesting mental images.
Sirius came back with his tail between his legs, figuratively speaking. "I don't want to discuss it," he announced.
"Yes. Well. Oh, look, the movie's coming on! It's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!" Remus exclaimed. "This is such a cool movie!"
"Are you kidding?" Lily asked incredulously. "Whoever wrote it was *definitely* on LSD."
"What's that?" James asked. Sirius remained sulky, but looked minorly interested.
"A sort of potion that people take to make themselves. . . um. . . happy."
"I am getting the feeling that you are not telling us the whole story," Peter put in.
"Well, I don't want to give you guys ideas!" Lily replied.
They were distracted by the stewardess' return. Sirius shrank. The stewardess, whose name, incidentally, was Samantha, shoved a danish in Sirius' face. "Eat it!" she yelled. "ALL of it!"
~
A few hours later, after all had watched half the movie, decided that whoever wrote it was, indeed, screwed up totally, were falling asleep. "Only about 6 hours left until we get to Nashville," Remus said, yawning.
"Good," Lily said, closing her book. "I think I'm going to go to sleep. It's 11:30."
"Our time," Sirius reminded her. He was surprisingly subdued since the stewardess incident. "Eastern time it's only 6:30. So we'll get there at midnight their time."
"Whatever. I'm still sleepy."
"I am, as well," James agreed.
"I agree with James and Lily," Remus agreed.
"I agree with James and Lily and Remus," Peter agreed.
"And I agree with James and Lily and- oh forget it," Sirius said. "We're all sleepy. End of story."
And with that, the Marauders and Lily all closed their eyes and one by one, fell asleep.
"Oy!" Peter yelled as Sirius leaned over him. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Trying to see the television, Bludger-boy," Sirius replied.
"Well, stop leaning over me!" Peter shoved him over. "You are invading my personal bubble."
Remus snorted. "With Sirius, there is no such thing as personal space."
"Are you implying something?"
"Yes."
"Like what?" Sirius demanded.
"Nothing," Remus said in a sing-songy voice.
"I'll have you know that I am very much attracted to the female sex, book-boy."
"Did I say that you weren't?"
"Boys, boys," Lily cut in. She and James were holding hands rather dreamily. "Let's not fuss."
"Easy for you to say, Miss Dreamy-eyes-Let's-go-snog-Jamie-poo." Peter said.
Everyone was surprised. Generally, Peter didn't make fun of James.
"Whoa-ho-ho, Wormtail. Getting feisty!" Sirius laughed.
"Would you gentlemen -and lady- be desirous of something to eat or drink?" the stewardess asked, showing off all her perfectly white teeth and shapely calves.
Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus all lost control of their jaw and anti-drool muscles. Lily groaned.
But before she could say anything, Sirius said, "Why yes, I'd *love* to have something," he paused, looking her up and down. "To eat, of course," he added, grinning.
The stewardess giggled. The others rolled their eyes, but Peter looked rather admiringly at Sirius.
"what would you like to eat?" she asked flirtatiously.
"How about a danish with some whipped cream?" Sirius said suggestively.
"Oh Lord," Remus muttered.
"I don't get it," Lily whispered.
"You don't want to," James replied.
The stewardess smiled. "Why don't you come back with me and get it?" she said, turning around with a slight wiggle to her hips. Sirius' eyes bulged. He almost flew over the seats after her. The rest of them stared. "I can't believe he's actually going back there," James said in disbelief.
"Me either," said Remus.
"I am now *positive* I do not want to know what was-" Lily was cut off by a smacking sound from further up and a very familiar howl of pain.
"THAT WILL SHOW YOU TO COME ON TO STEWARDESSES, YOU DISGUSTING, FOUL, PERVERSE, HORRIBLE--"
The authors now feel obliged to cut in on the stewardess' tirade, as she got rather foul-mouthed, and wish to assure you that the language then used was, indeed, disgusting, R-rated, and told Sirius to do things that made for very interesting mental images.
Sirius came back with his tail between his legs, figuratively speaking. "I don't want to discuss it," he announced.
"Yes. Well. Oh, look, the movie's coming on! It's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!" Remus exclaimed. "This is such a cool movie!"
"Are you kidding?" Lily asked incredulously. "Whoever wrote it was *definitely* on LSD."
"What's that?" James asked. Sirius remained sulky, but looked minorly interested.
"A sort of potion that people take to make themselves. . . um. . . happy."
"I am getting the feeling that you are not telling us the whole story," Peter put in.
"Well, I don't want to give you guys ideas!" Lily replied.
They were distracted by the stewardess' return. Sirius shrank. The stewardess, whose name, incidentally, was Samantha, shoved a danish in Sirius' face. "Eat it!" she yelled. "ALL of it!"
~
A few hours later, after all had watched half the movie, decided that whoever wrote it was, indeed, screwed up totally, were falling asleep. "Only about 6 hours left until we get to Nashville," Remus said, yawning.
"Good," Lily said, closing her book. "I think I'm going to go to sleep. It's 11:30."
"Our time," Sirius reminded her. He was surprisingly subdued since the stewardess incident. "Eastern time it's only 6:30. So we'll get there at midnight their time."
"Whatever. I'm still sleepy."
"I am, as well," James agreed.
"I agree with James and Lily," Remus agreed.
"I agree with James and Lily and Remus," Peter agreed.
"And I agree with James and Lily and- oh forget it," Sirius said. "We're all sleepy. End of story."
And with that, the Marauders and Lily all closed their eyes and one by one, fell asleep.