The Nightmare Before DBZ
by Moley
Disclaimer: The purple kangaroo made me do it!
A/N: This chapter is kind of long and a little on the strange side. Don't worry though, it can only get weirder from here. *insert evil laughter here* Alright I think I am ok now. I finally decided to shorten the title to TNBDBZ for narrator comments and my own personal convenience. My spelling is probably off and somethings might not make as much sense to you as it did me, but... I don't feel like explaining so...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! He he he... just joking. I am quite hyper.
Narrator: On the last episode of TNBDBZ Jack appointed Sally to make his Kakarot costume, Lock, Shock, and Barrel brought a claustrophobic samurai back in a bag, Igor made his first and only appearance in the story, and a lot of other pointless things happened.
"You don't look like yourself Jack, not at all," Sally said as she was adding the finishing touches to Jack's Kakarot outfit.
"Isn't that wonderful. It couldn't be more wonderful!" Jack exclaimed.
"But you're the Pumpkin King."
"Not anymore. And I feel so much better now."
"Jack, I know you think something's missing. But -" Sally accidently on purpose stabbed Jack's finger with the needle.
Jack let out an "Ow!"
"Sorry," Sally apologized, sounding not so apologetic.
"You're right, something is missing but what? I've got the pants, the shirt, the boots -"
All of the sudden Lock, Shock, and Barrel appeared. "Jack, Jack this time we bagged him!" they all shouted proudly.
"This time we really did!" Lock added.
"He sure is big Jack!" stated Barrel.
"And heavy!" shouted Shock.
"Hey! Let me out of here!" Kakarot shouted from within the confines of the bag. Lock, Shock, and Barrel gladly dumped the saiyan out on to the floor.
"Kakarot in person. What a pleasure to meet you," Jack said reaching out to shake Kakarot's hand. "Why your not rotting at all!" Jack added, sounding a bit surprised.
Goku- I mean Kakarot was a bit confused."Where am I?"
"Surprised aren't you? I knew you would be. You don't need to have another worry about fighting the saiyans this time."
"Huh?"
"Consider this a vacation Kakarot, a reward. It's your turn to take it easy."
"What? Are you crazy?"
"See that he's comfortable," Jack said as Lock, Shock, and Barrel began to once more bag Kakarot. "Just a second fellows. Of course, that's what I'm missing," Jack reached over and pulled on Kakarot's hair. Surprisingly it didn't take long for his hair to become unattached.
"Hey! Give me back my wig!!!" shouted a very unhappy and very bald Kakarot.
"Thanks!", Jack said, placing the wig on his skull.
"Hey... Hold on where are we going now?" Kakarot said, because Jack was now walking away.
"This is worse than I thought, much worse. I know... " Sally said under her breath.
Lock, Shock, and Barrel proceeded to bag Kakarot again and began the process of dragging him off. A voice from within the bag was heard shouting, " I can't take a vacation. I have to fight the saiyans."
"Where are we taking him?" asked Barrel. Personally he wanted to drop him off of a giant cliff onto some sharp pointy rocks, because that guy really grinded his nerves.
"To Oogie boogie, of course. There isn't anywhere in the whole world more comfortable than that and Jack said to make him comfortable. Didn't he?" Lock said in answer. This pleased Barrel; Oogie boogie was a hundred times worse than being dropped off of a cliff.
"Yes he did," Shock and Barrel both agreed.
"Hey if you guys let me out I will give you some candy," Goku offered. (the only thing that stopped him from breaking free was that he might hurt the kids in the process and nobody should hurt kids no matter how horrible and strange they are)
"SHUT UP!!!" they all three screamed together.
*****
At Dr. Fenkelstien's Castle
Sally was rummaging through her stash of things Dr. Fenkelstien didn't know about. She finally found what she was looking for... something to stop Jack. What she found was a jar of fog juice (I personally was not aware that they were canning that kind of thing these days)
Else where Dr. Fenkelstien was working on a creation to replace the defective Sally. He even went so far as giving the creation half of his brain.
*****
At Oogie Boogie's
Lock, Shock, and Barrel were preparing to offer Kakarot to their supreme leader, Oogie Boogie. Goku had spent the whole time trying to bargain his way out of the situation to no avail. At the moment they were attempting to shove the bag (Goku and all) down a pipe that led to Oogie Boogie's lair.
"I think he might be too big," stated Shock, who was now very annoyed.
"No he's not. We're just not trying hard enough," Lock said in response. He took a few step back and then with a running start rammed himself into the bag. It actually worked; the bag made it's way down the pipe and into the lair of Oogie Boogie.
*****
In Oogie Boogie's lair
Goku landed and managed to pull himself out of the bag. He was however still tied up. Of course he really didn't notice, because at the moment he was distracted by a guy that resembled a bag of potatoes. And after that he was distracted by the thought of potatoes, since he hadn't eaten in a while. And then he was distracted by the song the bag of potatoes was singing.
Oogie Boogie:
"Well, well, well, what have we here?
Kakarot, huh?
Oh, I'm really scared
So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha
You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my eyes
You're jokin' me, you gotta be
This can't be the right guy
He's stupid, he's ugly
I don't know which is worse
I might just split a seam now
If I don't die laughing first
Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention now
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man
And if you aren't shakin'
There's something very wrong
'Cause this may be the last time
You hear the boogie song, ohhh "
Three Skeletons: "Ohhh"
Oogie Boogie: "Ohhh"
Two Skeletons: "Ohhh"
(there are several more Ohhhs but this is getting monotonous)
Goku just stared blankly at Oogie Boogie.
Oogie Boogie: "You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my ears
Would someone shut this fella up
I'm drownin' in my tears
It's funny, I'm laughing
You really are too much
And now, with your permission
I'm going to do my stuff "
Goku continued to stare blankly.
The music stopped. "You are supposed to say 'What are you going to do?'!!!" Oogie Boogie screamed.
"Oh, sorry...What are you going to do?"
The music started back.
Oogie Boogie:
"I'm gonna do the best I can
Oh, the sound of rollin' dice
To me is music in the air
'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man
Although I don't play fair
It's much more fun, I must confess
With lives on the line
Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy
Now that'd be just fine"
Goku once again was staring blankly (he was kind of enjoying the show though).
The music stopped once more. "You are supposed to fight... and scream... and stuff... you're not making this much fun!" Oogie Boogie whined.
"Oh... sorry again. LET ME GO, FOUL BEAST!"
The music started back.
"Oh, brother, you're something
You put me in a spin
You aren't comprehending
The position that you're in
It's hopeless, you're finished
You haven't got a prayer
'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie
And you ain't going nowhere"
*****
Back in DBZ Land
Our heroes are preparing to fight Vegeta and Napa, who showed up some time in between the last chapter and now.
"We are really going to hurt you guys. We're going to beat you up and then we are going to break all of your bones and then we're going to...uhh...kill you, yeah! Isn't that right Vegeta?"
"Shut up, Napa."
"Man, I think these guys are serious..." Krillin whispered to Yamcha who was standing near by.
"Dude, I think you should negotiate with them," Yamcha said as he shoved Krillin forward, mostly for shield purposes.
"Me!? Why me!?"
Yamcha stopped to think for a moment, "Because you negotiate well, that's why!" (Yes that is all he could come up with.)
*A/N: No, I am not picking on Yamcha again, Kynthia. I am merely stating that under the current circumstances he could not come up with a more plausible excuse. That being said, I will return to the fic now.
"Well...Ok...if you say so..." Krillin said inching his way forward.
"Geez, what a sucker," Yamcha said under his breath.
Krillin turned around, "What was that?"
"Oh, nothing..." Yamcha said with a goofy smile.
Krillin continued forward and then stopped when he felt he was too close to the saiyans, who were both staring at him, smirking. "Uh, excuse me...sir..." he said quietly.
"Oh, so you want to be the first to die, huh?" Napa said a little too happily.
Vegeta just stood there.
"UH! Wait! No!! I just wanted to tell you that we are not worth your time... Goku's the one you want to fight. He's real strong he could really kick your butts." Krillin stopped to think for a moment. Krillin your such a moron! Why would they wait for someone who is stronger than them to show up when they can just kill you now!? Krillin mentally screamed at himself.
"Yeah right, why would we wait for someone stronger than us to show up when we can kill you now!?" Napa shouted.
Krillin flinched and mentally kicked himself.
"Napa, I thought I told you to shut up!" Vegeta shouted in that funny little voice he had during the Saiyan Saga. "We will wait four hours for this warrior to show up," Vegeta said holding up three fingers.
Everyone began laughing.
Vegeta, finally noticing his mistake, was infuriated, "Just for that you now only have three hours!!!! And then I am going to let Nappa rip everyone of your heads off!!!"
(dramatic freeze frame of a close up of Vegeta's screaming face)
A/N: Don't you just hate it when that happens. Something interesting- well, kind of interesting starts to happen and they end it by freezing the stupid scene. Oh well...)
Narrator: Will Goku ever escape from the lair of the horrid bag of potatoes? Will Jack make it in time to fight the Saiyans? Will Moley ever finish this story? Find out on the next exciting episode of TNBDBZ.
A/N: Are these narrator comments annoying you people as much as they annoy me?
by Moley
Disclaimer: The purple kangaroo made me do it!
A/N: This chapter is kind of long and a little on the strange side. Don't worry though, it can only get weirder from here. *insert evil laughter here* Alright I think I am ok now. I finally decided to shorten the title to TNBDBZ for narrator comments and my own personal convenience. My spelling is probably off and somethings might not make as much sense to you as it did me, but... I don't feel like explaining so...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! He he he... just joking. I am quite hyper.
Narrator: On the last episode of TNBDBZ Jack appointed Sally to make his Kakarot costume, Lock, Shock, and Barrel brought a claustrophobic samurai back in a bag, Igor made his first and only appearance in the story, and a lot of other pointless things happened.
"You don't look like yourself Jack, not at all," Sally said as she was adding the finishing touches to Jack's Kakarot outfit.
"Isn't that wonderful. It couldn't be more wonderful!" Jack exclaimed.
"But you're the Pumpkin King."
"Not anymore. And I feel so much better now."
"Jack, I know you think something's missing. But -" Sally accidently on purpose stabbed Jack's finger with the needle.
Jack let out an "Ow!"
"Sorry," Sally apologized, sounding not so apologetic.
"You're right, something is missing but what? I've got the pants, the shirt, the boots -"
All of the sudden Lock, Shock, and Barrel appeared. "Jack, Jack this time we bagged him!" they all shouted proudly.
"This time we really did!" Lock added.
"He sure is big Jack!" stated Barrel.
"And heavy!" shouted Shock.
"Hey! Let me out of here!" Kakarot shouted from within the confines of the bag. Lock, Shock, and Barrel gladly dumped the saiyan out on to the floor.
"Kakarot in person. What a pleasure to meet you," Jack said reaching out to shake Kakarot's hand. "Why your not rotting at all!" Jack added, sounding a bit surprised.
Goku- I mean Kakarot was a bit confused."Where am I?"
"Surprised aren't you? I knew you would be. You don't need to have another worry about fighting the saiyans this time."
"Huh?"
"Consider this a vacation Kakarot, a reward. It's your turn to take it easy."
"What? Are you crazy?"
"See that he's comfortable," Jack said as Lock, Shock, and Barrel began to once more bag Kakarot. "Just a second fellows. Of course, that's what I'm missing," Jack reached over and pulled on Kakarot's hair. Surprisingly it didn't take long for his hair to become unattached.
"Hey! Give me back my wig!!!" shouted a very unhappy and very bald Kakarot.
"Thanks!", Jack said, placing the wig on his skull.
"Hey... Hold on where are we going now?" Kakarot said, because Jack was now walking away.
"This is worse than I thought, much worse. I know... " Sally said under her breath.
Lock, Shock, and Barrel proceeded to bag Kakarot again and began the process of dragging him off. A voice from within the bag was heard shouting, " I can't take a vacation. I have to fight the saiyans."
"Where are we taking him?" asked Barrel. Personally he wanted to drop him off of a giant cliff onto some sharp pointy rocks, because that guy really grinded his nerves.
"To Oogie boogie, of course. There isn't anywhere in the whole world more comfortable than that and Jack said to make him comfortable. Didn't he?" Lock said in answer. This pleased Barrel; Oogie boogie was a hundred times worse than being dropped off of a cliff.
"Yes he did," Shock and Barrel both agreed.
"Hey if you guys let me out I will give you some candy," Goku offered. (the only thing that stopped him from breaking free was that he might hurt the kids in the process and nobody should hurt kids no matter how horrible and strange they are)
"SHUT UP!!!" they all three screamed together.
*****
At Dr. Fenkelstien's Castle
Sally was rummaging through her stash of things Dr. Fenkelstien didn't know about. She finally found what she was looking for... something to stop Jack. What she found was a jar of fog juice (I personally was not aware that they were canning that kind of thing these days)
Else where Dr. Fenkelstien was working on a creation to replace the defective Sally. He even went so far as giving the creation half of his brain.
*****
At Oogie Boogie's
Lock, Shock, and Barrel were preparing to offer Kakarot to their supreme leader, Oogie Boogie. Goku had spent the whole time trying to bargain his way out of the situation to no avail. At the moment they were attempting to shove the bag (Goku and all) down a pipe that led to Oogie Boogie's lair.
"I think he might be too big," stated Shock, who was now very annoyed.
"No he's not. We're just not trying hard enough," Lock said in response. He took a few step back and then with a running start rammed himself into the bag. It actually worked; the bag made it's way down the pipe and into the lair of Oogie Boogie.
*****
In Oogie Boogie's lair
Goku landed and managed to pull himself out of the bag. He was however still tied up. Of course he really didn't notice, because at the moment he was distracted by a guy that resembled a bag of potatoes. And after that he was distracted by the thought of potatoes, since he hadn't eaten in a while. And then he was distracted by the song the bag of potatoes was singing.
Oogie Boogie:
"Well, well, well, what have we here?
Kakarot, huh?
Oh, I'm really scared
So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha
You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my eyes
You're jokin' me, you gotta be
This can't be the right guy
He's stupid, he's ugly
I don't know which is worse
I might just split a seam now
If I don't die laughing first
Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention now
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man
And if you aren't shakin'
There's something very wrong
'Cause this may be the last time
You hear the boogie song, ohhh "
Three Skeletons: "Ohhh"
Oogie Boogie: "Ohhh"
Two Skeletons: "Ohhh"
(there are several more Ohhhs but this is getting monotonous)
Goku just stared blankly at Oogie Boogie.
Oogie Boogie: "You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my ears
Would someone shut this fella up
I'm drownin' in my tears
It's funny, I'm laughing
You really are too much
And now, with your permission
I'm going to do my stuff "
Goku continued to stare blankly.
The music stopped. "You are supposed to say 'What are you going to do?'!!!" Oogie Boogie screamed.
"Oh, sorry...What are you going to do?"
The music started back.
Oogie Boogie:
"I'm gonna do the best I can
Oh, the sound of rollin' dice
To me is music in the air
'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man
Although I don't play fair
It's much more fun, I must confess
With lives on the line
Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy
Now that'd be just fine"
Goku once again was staring blankly (he was kind of enjoying the show though).
The music stopped once more. "You are supposed to fight... and scream... and stuff... you're not making this much fun!" Oogie Boogie whined.
"Oh... sorry again. LET ME GO, FOUL BEAST!"
The music started back.
"Oh, brother, you're something
You put me in a spin
You aren't comprehending
The position that you're in
It's hopeless, you're finished
You haven't got a prayer
'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie
And you ain't going nowhere"
*****
Back in DBZ Land
Our heroes are preparing to fight Vegeta and Napa, who showed up some time in between the last chapter and now.
"We are really going to hurt you guys. We're going to beat you up and then we are going to break all of your bones and then we're going to...uhh...kill you, yeah! Isn't that right Vegeta?"
"Shut up, Napa."
"Man, I think these guys are serious..." Krillin whispered to Yamcha who was standing near by.
"Dude, I think you should negotiate with them," Yamcha said as he shoved Krillin forward, mostly for shield purposes.
"Me!? Why me!?"
Yamcha stopped to think for a moment, "Because you negotiate well, that's why!" (Yes that is all he could come up with.)
*A/N: No, I am not picking on Yamcha again, Kynthia. I am merely stating that under the current circumstances he could not come up with a more plausible excuse. That being said, I will return to the fic now.
"Well...Ok...if you say so..." Krillin said inching his way forward.
"Geez, what a sucker," Yamcha said under his breath.
Krillin turned around, "What was that?"
"Oh, nothing..." Yamcha said with a goofy smile.
Krillin continued forward and then stopped when he felt he was too close to the saiyans, who were both staring at him, smirking. "Uh, excuse me...sir..." he said quietly.
"Oh, so you want to be the first to die, huh?" Napa said a little too happily.
Vegeta just stood there.
"UH! Wait! No!! I just wanted to tell you that we are not worth your time... Goku's the one you want to fight. He's real strong he could really kick your butts." Krillin stopped to think for a moment. Krillin your such a moron! Why would they wait for someone who is stronger than them to show up when they can just kill you now!? Krillin mentally screamed at himself.
"Yeah right, why would we wait for someone stronger than us to show up when we can kill you now!?" Napa shouted.
Krillin flinched and mentally kicked himself.
"Napa, I thought I told you to shut up!" Vegeta shouted in that funny little voice he had during the Saiyan Saga. "We will wait four hours for this warrior to show up," Vegeta said holding up three fingers.
Everyone began laughing.
Vegeta, finally noticing his mistake, was infuriated, "Just for that you now only have three hours!!!! And then I am going to let Nappa rip everyone of your heads off!!!"
(dramatic freeze frame of a close up of Vegeta's screaming face)
A/N: Don't you just hate it when that happens. Something interesting- well, kind of interesting starts to happen and they end it by freezing the stupid scene. Oh well...)
Narrator: Will Goku ever escape from the lair of the horrid bag of potatoes? Will Jack make it in time to fight the Saiyans? Will Moley ever finish this story? Find out on the next exciting episode of TNBDBZ.
A/N: Are these narrator comments annoying you people as much as they annoy me?