What I Wouldn't Do For You
Chapter Three: Connected
Remember when I gave that rare machina part to Brother in exchange for Rikku with the intention of wanting to spend more time with her? I know, I know, it was an ingenious plan. I knew that I would be able to throw off both Brother and Rikku's suspicions if I said that I wanted her around to help out with the Machine Faction.
And she has been helping out a lot, and doing a pretty damn good job of it, too. Our machina have been improved in shorter amounts of time and even some of the deadweights that have plagued me like some incurable disease have been getting the hang of things because of Rikku's patience to help them.
Well, that's exactly the flaw of my master plan. Rikku staying here has been benefiting the Machine Faction when it should be benefiting ME.
Why in Spira doesn't she stay in one place? Because of her willingness to help people and her endless supply of energy, she flits from one machina to another after she's solved the problem. The only contact that I've had with her is when she smiles and calls me "Mr. Leader" whenever I pass. And I answer by doing what I've always been since we were kids: I tease her.
It's been her first week already and I haven't had the chance to talk to her alone without someone begging her to help or some machina going on the fritz. If she wasn't so freaking helpful or nice all the time, I probably would have been able to put the ol' charm on her and earned a date by now.
...actually, I've had chances to talk to her. I just have missed them...and by 'miss', I mean ignore.
I need to tell her so many things and ask so many questions, but I can't! It's so frustrating, every last bit of it! I wanna tell her, but I keep thinking about how I'll lose the badass reputation that I've worked so hard for since I was a kid. But if I don't tell her, then before I know it her three months will be up and she'll be off flying on the Celsius again. So basically, I'm screwed if I do, and I'm screwed if I don't.
And what if she says no? I think that my ego won't be the only thing that would be suffering if she did. It didn't work with us when we were dating, so what if it doesn't now? Maybe I would be just wasting my time...
...then, why does my heart pound so fast when I think about Rikku or when I'm around her? How can she be the only person that makes me feel so vulnerable? I've been through the Den of Woe and the whole thing with a dead guy's spirit taking over my friends' bodies, but I can't go through this without losing sleep over it. I mean, even Vegnagun was a piece of cake compared to what Rikku is doing to me! She might not be plotting to vaporize Spira, but what's she's putting me through sure as hell is just as deadly!
I took off my shoulder armor and let it slip onto the floor. I felt like a huge set of weights had been lifted off of my body, but I still didn't feel better. I peeled off my fingerless gloves from my hands and threw them behind my back, not caring if I was going to have a hard time finding them tomorrow morning. I kicked off my boots and threw myself against the mattress of my bed, burying my head with my pillow.
I just laid like that for a while, trying to get some sleep when I didn't feel tired at all. I just felt like I was somewhere between living and dead. I always have that feeling after working with machina all day.
For some reason, I was especially tired today. I mean, I didn't even want to eat anything. I just flung myself onto my bed, hoping that I'd fall asleep easily when I knew that I couldn't. Not with so many things on my mind...
It must have been an hour or so when I heard my door creaking open and closing again. My ears picked up footsteps moving against the floor and stopping at my bedside. I heard the person set something down on my nightstand, but I pretended to be asleep under my pillow.
I felt a soft hand on my shoulder as it shook me slightly. "Mr. Leader?" Rikku's pretty voice whispered, probably thinking that I really was asleep.
She lifted the pillow off of my head, and I turned onto my back and grinned at her. "So, does Cid's little girl miss me that much to come into my room?"
Rikku rolled her eyes and stuffed the pillow over my face. "Get over yourself."
I pulled her hands and the pillow away from my face, my eye making direct contact with her vibrant green ones. "Admit it, you can't deny your attraction to me. I'm THAT irresistible."
Again, she shoved the pillow so hard into my face that I was sent flying back against the mattress. "No, you're just THAT much of an idiot."
I laughed and put the pillow aside. "You can't talk to your boss like that!"
"Does that mean you'll fire me???" She suddenly asked with a hopeful look on her beaming face.
I shook my head, amused by her crestfallen expression. "It ain't gonna be that easy. Brother said that you would stay for three months, and that's exactly what you're gonna do."
She whined. "It's not fair! I didn't even know about all this until Brother came up to me at the last minute."
I shrugged my shoulders. "Hey, a deal's a deal. I thought Cid's little girl knew that?"
She put her hands on her hips and frowned at me. "I have a name, you know! How about using it once in a while?"
Ignoring her, I caught sight of a bowl of hot, steaming soup on my nightstand.
"What's with that?" I asked her. She smiled and clasped her hands in front of her.
"You know better than to skip dinner! A leader needs all the nutrition that he can get!" She said cheerfully.
"Sorry, but I don't think that I'm hungry," I told her, even if my stomach was grumbling a bit.
Rikku is the kind of person that doesn't take 'no' for an answer. She took the bowl in one of her hands and held a silver spoon with the fingers of her other one. "Now, now, don't be so stubborn!" She scolded me like a mother would do to a child, dipping the spoon into the soup and holding it to my lips. "Open wide!"
I didn't listen, turning my face away from the soup. Rikku sighed and placed it back on the nightstand, her hands resting on her little hips. "What's wrong, Gippal?"
I was caught a bit off guard by her sudden change in tone. It sounded like...she was worried about me.
"Nothing."
She obviously didn't believe me because she lowered her face to mine, her lips just inches away from my own. I felt like I was gonna melt.
"You don't look sick," she stated matter-of-factly like she was observing a strange machina. "But you've been acting weird all week."
Damn it, so she DID notice. Out of all the people here, I was hoping that Rikku wouldn't catch on to how I was behaving all week. I didn't want her to worry about me because I felt that it was a waste of her time.
But Rikku doesn't quit. When someone she knows has a problem, she makes it her own, too.
Her emerald swirled eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together like she always did whenever an idea popped into her head. "I know!"
Confused, I watched her as she took out a glowing orange sphere from one of her leather pouches that she wore around her small waist. She looked at me with a bright smile on her face. "It's time for your check-up, Mr. Leader!"
With that, a sparkling light exploded and covered her completely. I was too intrigued by what Rikku's solution was that I didn't bother shielding myself from how bright it was. After a few seconds, the light faded, and Rikku was no longer in her bikini top or her skirt. She was wearing these long white robes that nearly touched the floor, and she held an orange staff in her gloved hands. A hood was pulled over her head, but I still could make out the pair of lively green eyes and swaying braids.
"Rikku the White Mage will cure what ails ya!" She exclaimed enthusiastically, but then tripped and fell onto her back against the floor. Apparently I was right about the strange clothes being too long. Her boot had stepped onto the robes and being her clumsy self, she slipped.
"What a grand entrance," I replied sarcastically as she struggled to get up. Heh, she was always such a klutz since I had known her, making it all the more important for me to keep a close eye out for Rikku.
She dusted off her robes and pointed her staff at me as if she was gonna skewer me with it. "Hush, you! Patients have to remain quiet during the check-up!"
I didn't say anything more, not wanting to provoke her temper. Rikku may look like a cute little thing, but when she's mad, DAMN...she can be scarier than Sin and Vegnagun put together. And I'm not exaggerating.
She drew closer to me, putting the side of her staff against my forehead while she closed her eyes as if she were meditating.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, suppressing a laugh.
"Shhhh," she said, her eyes still closed. "I am sensing a great disturbance within you..." she stated in a breathy voice.
"And what would that be, oh great White Mage?"
"I can sense that the source of your pig-headedness stems from your colossal ego..."
I swatted away the staff from my forehead, Rikku laughing as I did.
"Hey, I got every right to be egotistical. I'm hot, aren't I?" I replied smoothly.
Rikku sighed and put her staff aside. "You think that. Now..."
I watched wordlessly as she suddenly placed her right hand on my chest, directly over my heart. Her long braids framed her beautiful face with her eyes closed again, like she really was actually concentrating on something.
I was breathless. Now, I really did feel like I was gonna melt right in front of her. I felt like such a dumbass, just sitting there stunned as if I was paralyzed. But that's how she affects me, and she's the only one who can do that. All I could think about was reaching her hand with mine, but I controlled myself.
"Your heart..." she finally said, her voice hardly above a whisper, like her words were only intended for me to hear. "It's beating so fast..."
"Well...it's a bit hot in here, don't ya think?" I almost stuttered, looking away from her.
"That explains why you've been so distant," she continued, not hearing a word that I had said. "You're connected to someone."
I stared at her, confused by what she had told me. "What?"
She giggled and removed the hood of her robe, showing the rest of her braids and her long ponytail. "Whenever your heart beats that fast, you get a feeling. That feeling makes you kinda warm and complete."
She reached for another sphere in her pocket, and instantly her robes faded away and were replaced by her regular clothes. "Whenever you get that feeling, it means that you're connected to someone, like you're linked to them. And that one person's heart is beating just as fast as yours, because they feel the same way about you. Both your hearts remind you that you're always together, no matter where you are."
My jaw almost dropped in utter disbelief. Did Rikku just say all that?
"Whoa...a bit too profound, wouldn't you say?"
She shook her head, and placed her hand over her own heart. "No. Whenever I got that feeling from how fast my heart was pounding, I felt really good. I felt...real."
I bowed my head, refusing to look into her face. How is it that she gets me like this every time? How can she make me feel even guiltier for not admitting my feelings for her? She's always smiling, looking at me with those mesmerizing eyes...it's enough to drive me crazy.
At that moment, I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to know that she was the person that made me feel complete. I wanted to tell her that she was the one that made my heart beat so fast whenever I thought about her. But I couldn't.
I was afraid. I wanted to be that same person who made her feel complete...but what if I wasn't?
"You always were the romantic." I chuckled, changing the subject. "So, who's the lucky guy that you have a crush on?"
She folded her hands behind her back and looked at the ceiling. "I dunno! Maybe I'll tell you if you tell me who YOU'RE thinking about."
"It just so happens that I'm not thinking about anyone," I lied.
"Meanie!" she shouted, returning to her bubbly self. "Anyways, I'm off to bed. Eat your dinner, 'kay? See ya!" She waved good-bye and ran out of my room, politely closing it after her.
I sat to myself, suddenly wishing that Rikku hadn't gone. I looked at the bowl, staring at the thick soup that she had brought me. After it cooled, I picked up the spoon and began to eat.
Whaddya know? I was hungry after all.
*****I know that this chapter was a bit shorter, but hey, I enjoyed writing it. It's gonna be X-MAS break soon, so I should update again shortly. Thanx again for all the wonderful reviews! (
Chapter Three: Connected
Remember when I gave that rare machina part to Brother in exchange for Rikku with the intention of wanting to spend more time with her? I know, I know, it was an ingenious plan. I knew that I would be able to throw off both Brother and Rikku's suspicions if I said that I wanted her around to help out with the Machine Faction.
And she has been helping out a lot, and doing a pretty damn good job of it, too. Our machina have been improved in shorter amounts of time and even some of the deadweights that have plagued me like some incurable disease have been getting the hang of things because of Rikku's patience to help them.
Well, that's exactly the flaw of my master plan. Rikku staying here has been benefiting the Machine Faction when it should be benefiting ME.
Why in Spira doesn't she stay in one place? Because of her willingness to help people and her endless supply of energy, she flits from one machina to another after she's solved the problem. The only contact that I've had with her is when she smiles and calls me "Mr. Leader" whenever I pass. And I answer by doing what I've always been since we were kids: I tease her.
It's been her first week already and I haven't had the chance to talk to her alone without someone begging her to help or some machina going on the fritz. If she wasn't so freaking helpful or nice all the time, I probably would have been able to put the ol' charm on her and earned a date by now.
...actually, I've had chances to talk to her. I just have missed them...and by 'miss', I mean ignore.
I need to tell her so many things and ask so many questions, but I can't! It's so frustrating, every last bit of it! I wanna tell her, but I keep thinking about how I'll lose the badass reputation that I've worked so hard for since I was a kid. But if I don't tell her, then before I know it her three months will be up and she'll be off flying on the Celsius again. So basically, I'm screwed if I do, and I'm screwed if I don't.
And what if she says no? I think that my ego won't be the only thing that would be suffering if she did. It didn't work with us when we were dating, so what if it doesn't now? Maybe I would be just wasting my time...
...then, why does my heart pound so fast when I think about Rikku or when I'm around her? How can she be the only person that makes me feel so vulnerable? I've been through the Den of Woe and the whole thing with a dead guy's spirit taking over my friends' bodies, but I can't go through this without losing sleep over it. I mean, even Vegnagun was a piece of cake compared to what Rikku is doing to me! She might not be plotting to vaporize Spira, but what's she's putting me through sure as hell is just as deadly!
I took off my shoulder armor and let it slip onto the floor. I felt like a huge set of weights had been lifted off of my body, but I still didn't feel better. I peeled off my fingerless gloves from my hands and threw them behind my back, not caring if I was going to have a hard time finding them tomorrow morning. I kicked off my boots and threw myself against the mattress of my bed, burying my head with my pillow.
I just laid like that for a while, trying to get some sleep when I didn't feel tired at all. I just felt like I was somewhere between living and dead. I always have that feeling after working with machina all day.
For some reason, I was especially tired today. I mean, I didn't even want to eat anything. I just flung myself onto my bed, hoping that I'd fall asleep easily when I knew that I couldn't. Not with so many things on my mind...
It must have been an hour or so when I heard my door creaking open and closing again. My ears picked up footsteps moving against the floor and stopping at my bedside. I heard the person set something down on my nightstand, but I pretended to be asleep under my pillow.
I felt a soft hand on my shoulder as it shook me slightly. "Mr. Leader?" Rikku's pretty voice whispered, probably thinking that I really was asleep.
She lifted the pillow off of my head, and I turned onto my back and grinned at her. "So, does Cid's little girl miss me that much to come into my room?"
Rikku rolled her eyes and stuffed the pillow over my face. "Get over yourself."
I pulled her hands and the pillow away from my face, my eye making direct contact with her vibrant green ones. "Admit it, you can't deny your attraction to me. I'm THAT irresistible."
Again, she shoved the pillow so hard into my face that I was sent flying back against the mattress. "No, you're just THAT much of an idiot."
I laughed and put the pillow aside. "You can't talk to your boss like that!"
"Does that mean you'll fire me???" She suddenly asked with a hopeful look on her beaming face.
I shook my head, amused by her crestfallen expression. "It ain't gonna be that easy. Brother said that you would stay for three months, and that's exactly what you're gonna do."
She whined. "It's not fair! I didn't even know about all this until Brother came up to me at the last minute."
I shrugged my shoulders. "Hey, a deal's a deal. I thought Cid's little girl knew that?"
She put her hands on her hips and frowned at me. "I have a name, you know! How about using it once in a while?"
Ignoring her, I caught sight of a bowl of hot, steaming soup on my nightstand.
"What's with that?" I asked her. She smiled and clasped her hands in front of her.
"You know better than to skip dinner! A leader needs all the nutrition that he can get!" She said cheerfully.
"Sorry, but I don't think that I'm hungry," I told her, even if my stomach was grumbling a bit.
Rikku is the kind of person that doesn't take 'no' for an answer. She took the bowl in one of her hands and held a silver spoon with the fingers of her other one. "Now, now, don't be so stubborn!" She scolded me like a mother would do to a child, dipping the spoon into the soup and holding it to my lips. "Open wide!"
I didn't listen, turning my face away from the soup. Rikku sighed and placed it back on the nightstand, her hands resting on her little hips. "What's wrong, Gippal?"
I was caught a bit off guard by her sudden change in tone. It sounded like...she was worried about me.
"Nothing."
She obviously didn't believe me because she lowered her face to mine, her lips just inches away from my own. I felt like I was gonna melt.
"You don't look sick," she stated matter-of-factly like she was observing a strange machina. "But you've been acting weird all week."
Damn it, so she DID notice. Out of all the people here, I was hoping that Rikku wouldn't catch on to how I was behaving all week. I didn't want her to worry about me because I felt that it was a waste of her time.
But Rikku doesn't quit. When someone she knows has a problem, she makes it her own, too.
Her emerald swirled eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together like she always did whenever an idea popped into her head. "I know!"
Confused, I watched her as she took out a glowing orange sphere from one of her leather pouches that she wore around her small waist. She looked at me with a bright smile on her face. "It's time for your check-up, Mr. Leader!"
With that, a sparkling light exploded and covered her completely. I was too intrigued by what Rikku's solution was that I didn't bother shielding myself from how bright it was. After a few seconds, the light faded, and Rikku was no longer in her bikini top or her skirt. She was wearing these long white robes that nearly touched the floor, and she held an orange staff in her gloved hands. A hood was pulled over her head, but I still could make out the pair of lively green eyes and swaying braids.
"Rikku the White Mage will cure what ails ya!" She exclaimed enthusiastically, but then tripped and fell onto her back against the floor. Apparently I was right about the strange clothes being too long. Her boot had stepped onto the robes and being her clumsy self, she slipped.
"What a grand entrance," I replied sarcastically as she struggled to get up. Heh, she was always such a klutz since I had known her, making it all the more important for me to keep a close eye out for Rikku.
She dusted off her robes and pointed her staff at me as if she was gonna skewer me with it. "Hush, you! Patients have to remain quiet during the check-up!"
I didn't say anything more, not wanting to provoke her temper. Rikku may look like a cute little thing, but when she's mad, DAMN...she can be scarier than Sin and Vegnagun put together. And I'm not exaggerating.
She drew closer to me, putting the side of her staff against my forehead while she closed her eyes as if she were meditating.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, suppressing a laugh.
"Shhhh," she said, her eyes still closed. "I am sensing a great disturbance within you..." she stated in a breathy voice.
"And what would that be, oh great White Mage?"
"I can sense that the source of your pig-headedness stems from your colossal ego..."
I swatted away the staff from my forehead, Rikku laughing as I did.
"Hey, I got every right to be egotistical. I'm hot, aren't I?" I replied smoothly.
Rikku sighed and put her staff aside. "You think that. Now..."
I watched wordlessly as she suddenly placed her right hand on my chest, directly over my heart. Her long braids framed her beautiful face with her eyes closed again, like she really was actually concentrating on something.
I was breathless. Now, I really did feel like I was gonna melt right in front of her. I felt like such a dumbass, just sitting there stunned as if I was paralyzed. But that's how she affects me, and she's the only one who can do that. All I could think about was reaching her hand with mine, but I controlled myself.
"Your heart..." she finally said, her voice hardly above a whisper, like her words were only intended for me to hear. "It's beating so fast..."
"Well...it's a bit hot in here, don't ya think?" I almost stuttered, looking away from her.
"That explains why you've been so distant," she continued, not hearing a word that I had said. "You're connected to someone."
I stared at her, confused by what she had told me. "What?"
She giggled and removed the hood of her robe, showing the rest of her braids and her long ponytail. "Whenever your heart beats that fast, you get a feeling. That feeling makes you kinda warm and complete."
She reached for another sphere in her pocket, and instantly her robes faded away and were replaced by her regular clothes. "Whenever you get that feeling, it means that you're connected to someone, like you're linked to them. And that one person's heart is beating just as fast as yours, because they feel the same way about you. Both your hearts remind you that you're always together, no matter where you are."
My jaw almost dropped in utter disbelief. Did Rikku just say all that?
"Whoa...a bit too profound, wouldn't you say?"
She shook her head, and placed her hand over her own heart. "No. Whenever I got that feeling from how fast my heart was pounding, I felt really good. I felt...real."
I bowed my head, refusing to look into her face. How is it that she gets me like this every time? How can she make me feel even guiltier for not admitting my feelings for her? She's always smiling, looking at me with those mesmerizing eyes...it's enough to drive me crazy.
At that moment, I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to know that she was the person that made me feel complete. I wanted to tell her that she was the one that made my heart beat so fast whenever I thought about her. But I couldn't.
I was afraid. I wanted to be that same person who made her feel complete...but what if I wasn't?
"You always were the romantic." I chuckled, changing the subject. "So, who's the lucky guy that you have a crush on?"
She folded her hands behind her back and looked at the ceiling. "I dunno! Maybe I'll tell you if you tell me who YOU'RE thinking about."
"It just so happens that I'm not thinking about anyone," I lied.
"Meanie!" she shouted, returning to her bubbly self. "Anyways, I'm off to bed. Eat your dinner, 'kay? See ya!" She waved good-bye and ran out of my room, politely closing it after her.
I sat to myself, suddenly wishing that Rikku hadn't gone. I looked at the bowl, staring at the thick soup that she had brought me. After it cooled, I picked up the spoon and began to eat.
Whaddya know? I was hungry after all.
*****I know that this chapter was a bit shorter, but hey, I enjoyed writing it. It's gonna be X-MAS break soon, so I should update again shortly. Thanx again for all the wonderful reviews! (