Next chapter!
"What's going on?" Harry called after Hermione. Her frizzy hair could be seen through the sea of black hats. He followed her until she came to the Great Hall.
"Harry," she breathed. "Brace yourself."
Harry entered the hall, and to his horror, found a banister hanging on the ceiling reading, "THE POWER OF LOVE."
His heart jumped.
"That's not it," Hermione pointed to the table where the teachers sat. "Look."
The professors were scrambling about their headtable, chasing after a blond boy. Harry recoginzed him...was it...
"Malfoy," Ron's shocked voice came from behind them. "I can't belive that he'd-"
"He did." Hermione said."What is he holding?"
In Malfoy's hand was a black tube...a microphone? And attatched to it was a boombox.
"I thought that magic didn't work at Hogwarts!" Harry said.
"He is probably magicking its use."
Hermione shrugged.
"Malfoy turned it on!" Ron cried. Malfoy was waving his wand, and something shined in the air. "He's putting in a CD! Oh no...you don't think...he's going to..."
"KAREOKE?" They screamed, Ron tumbling into a chair and Hermione wobbled nausiosly. Harry, however, kept standing.
"Harry!" Malfoy shouted, waving his hand franticly as he danced from side to side. The teachers didn't take notice to the cdplayer. "Harry! HARRY! HARRY-BERRY! Watch me!"
Harry's feet were frozen to the floor.
"Here I go!!!" He flicked on the music with his wand. As the song started, the entire school stood silent along Harry.
"K..." he cleared his throat.
"I heard you're doing okay...
But I want you to know..."
"Oh no," Ron said to Hermione. "I know this song...it's an American Muggle Punk song!"
"No!" Hermione shook her head. "NOT AN AMERICAN MUGGLE PUNK SONG!"
"And the worst kind of all..." He shuddered. (AN: I am American and I like punk music. And I am a muggle. I am not discrimitory so don't get pissed at me, everyone!)
"I'm a dick! I'm addicted to you!"
The whole school began snickering, and even some people who had not heard the song and hadn't knew the true lyrics (unlike Malfoy) were cracking up laughing.
"I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me."
The twins began to sing angelic 'la la las' in the background as they joined Malfoy. For some reason they thought that it might be funny, even if they did hate Malfoy.
"Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy!"
The end of 'make you happy' was loud and flat. The Slytherins were half humiliated, half terrified. Their Seeker, their prefect, their Malfoy was singing a love song for no aparent reason. Gryffindor, on the otherhand, was overwhelmed in the opposite feelings.
"But you left anyway.
Harry...Oh Harry...Potter!!!"
BANG.
Snape had blew up the boombox. A black char mark was where it once had been. He looked cautiously at Malfoy, but could not speak anywords. His breath was heavy, as he turned to Harry.
"...POOOOOTTTTEEEEERRRRR!!!" Snape's voice boomed. Everyone moved out of the way when Snape fluttered to Harry. He was planted in the middle of the Hall.
"Potter!" Snape shrieked. "Potter! Answer me!"
Harry did not move.
"I think he may be sick sir," A Hufflepuff said. Snape pushed him out of the way.
"Shut up you..."
But the Hufflepuff moved past him and pressed his hand to Harry's forehead.
"He's not to hot..."
"I think he's hot!" Malfoy yelled over their heads. He was still standing on the table. The school laughed mildly.
Snape ignored him.
"Well, Potter, speak!"
Harry mumbled something.
"What was that?"
He said it louder.
"Repeat that!"
"....if I don't move...maybe they can't see me...if I don't move...maybe they can't see me...if I don't move...maybe..."
"Damn you, Potter!" Snape struck him. Harry bounced out of his trance.
"Condom Vampires!" Malfoy appeared at Snape's ear. "They turn you into one of them by draining the liquid of your pus-"
"Mr. Malfoy!" McGonagall interuppted. "I see Aphrodite's Reathe has given you the bravery to be an innapropriate as a...as a..."
"As a Goblin stript club?!" He called excitedly. McGonagall went red.
"That...that wasn't what I was going to say..."
"Explain to me what is going on," Snape ordered. McGonagall gestured him away from the Hall as she snapped to Malfoy and Harry, "No more of this, Mr. Malfoy! I want you to act more your age, or I will..."
"Whip my ass like a matha fugga?"
McGonagall's face turned deeper crimson. She stole the microphone out his hand, and said, "I was NOT going to say that Mr. Malfoy. No more of this. That's enough."
The teachers left. Ron and Hermione ran up to Harry as Hermione cried, "You okay, Harry?"
"Yeah." He rubbed his hand. "But I have to remember that Snape isn't a T-rex."
"T-rex..." Malfoy's voice drawled happily and pervertidly as ever. "T...king of T's...T...T...T..."
"He is grossing me out guys." Ron pointed to Malfoy. "Can we just go?"
"Today is going to suck, isn't it?" Hermione sighed as they excited the Great Hall. Malfoy was following them.
"Suck!" Malfoy cried. "Suck! Suck the T! Suck...cause I am a dick! Suck! T T T! HARRY WEARS HELLO KITTY THONGS!"
Harry's neck was hot. How many galleons he would give to just be able to kick Malfoy in the 'T'...but he knew he couldn't...
"I am sorry to say," Hermione shook her head. "But he has got to be the biggest pervert I have ever met."
"And Harry has to fall in love with him," Ron nudged his friend. Harry recoiled when Malfoy put his arm around his and said, "I want a pretty scar just like yours..."
"I feel sick..." Harry left them towards the hospital wing. "I'm just gonna...ask Madam Promfrey for a...a..."
"VIAGRA!"
"NO!" Harry yelled back. He lurched as his stomach turned. "YOUR SO...!"
But he disappeared before he could tell them exactly what Malfoy was.
"I am going to go to Charms!" Malfoy smiled to Hermione and Ron. "I'll see you guys later! I'll sit with my best friends at lunch! That you, sillies!"
Malfoy skipped off. Yes, he skipped.
"Since when were we ever his friends?" Ron growled. His nails were digging into his palms.
"Got any ideas of revenge?" Hermione asked.
"Your the smart one," Ron said. "You think of something."
"I have the perfect curse," She grinned evilly and pulled out a bright orange, handheld book. "The Grosteque Spell Book. I just found out the perfect one, too."
"What?"
"It is called..." She smiled in envy, proping the book open, her eyes shiftly looking at Malfoy's disappearing figure down the hall. "The Bitter Blood Vomit."
"I like it." Ron grinned with her.
"How many affects does it have?"
"5." She read from the book. "We'd have to give it in 5 different forms...can you think of any?"
"A T." Ron said scarcastically.
"I got it. Lunch. Somehow we should slip stuff into his backpack and maybe give him like...some kind of food?"
"Your the genius."
"You're right," She shut the book. "I am."
Wow, that joke got old. I think I've had my share fair of T jokes, how about you guys? Review if you want more!
"What's going on?" Harry called after Hermione. Her frizzy hair could be seen through the sea of black hats. He followed her until she came to the Great Hall.
"Harry," she breathed. "Brace yourself."
Harry entered the hall, and to his horror, found a banister hanging on the ceiling reading, "THE POWER OF LOVE."
His heart jumped.
"That's not it," Hermione pointed to the table where the teachers sat. "Look."
The professors were scrambling about their headtable, chasing after a blond boy. Harry recoginzed him...was it...
"Malfoy," Ron's shocked voice came from behind them. "I can't belive that he'd-"
"He did." Hermione said."What is he holding?"
In Malfoy's hand was a black tube...a microphone? And attatched to it was a boombox.
"I thought that magic didn't work at Hogwarts!" Harry said.
"He is probably magicking its use."
Hermione shrugged.
"Malfoy turned it on!" Ron cried. Malfoy was waving his wand, and something shined in the air. "He's putting in a CD! Oh no...you don't think...he's going to..."
"KAREOKE?" They screamed, Ron tumbling into a chair and Hermione wobbled nausiosly. Harry, however, kept standing.
"Harry!" Malfoy shouted, waving his hand franticly as he danced from side to side. The teachers didn't take notice to the cdplayer. "Harry! HARRY! HARRY-BERRY! Watch me!"
Harry's feet were frozen to the floor.
"Here I go!!!" He flicked on the music with his wand. As the song started, the entire school stood silent along Harry.
"K..." he cleared his throat.
"I heard you're doing okay...
But I want you to know..."
"Oh no," Ron said to Hermione. "I know this song...it's an American Muggle Punk song!"
"No!" Hermione shook her head. "NOT AN AMERICAN MUGGLE PUNK SONG!"
"And the worst kind of all..." He shuddered. (AN: I am American and I like punk music. And I am a muggle. I am not discrimitory so don't get pissed at me, everyone!)
"I'm a dick! I'm addicted to you!"
The whole school began snickering, and even some people who had not heard the song and hadn't knew the true lyrics (unlike Malfoy) were cracking up laughing.
"I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me."
The twins began to sing angelic 'la la las' in the background as they joined Malfoy. For some reason they thought that it might be funny, even if they did hate Malfoy.
"Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy!"
The end of 'make you happy' was loud and flat. The Slytherins were half humiliated, half terrified. Their Seeker, their prefect, their Malfoy was singing a love song for no aparent reason. Gryffindor, on the otherhand, was overwhelmed in the opposite feelings.
"But you left anyway.
Harry...Oh Harry...Potter!!!"
BANG.
Snape had blew up the boombox. A black char mark was where it once had been. He looked cautiously at Malfoy, but could not speak anywords. His breath was heavy, as he turned to Harry.
"...POOOOOTTTTEEEEERRRRR!!!" Snape's voice boomed. Everyone moved out of the way when Snape fluttered to Harry. He was planted in the middle of the Hall.
"Potter!" Snape shrieked. "Potter! Answer me!"
Harry did not move.
"I think he may be sick sir," A Hufflepuff said. Snape pushed him out of the way.
"Shut up you..."
But the Hufflepuff moved past him and pressed his hand to Harry's forehead.
"He's not to hot..."
"I think he's hot!" Malfoy yelled over their heads. He was still standing on the table. The school laughed mildly.
Snape ignored him.
"Well, Potter, speak!"
Harry mumbled something.
"What was that?"
He said it louder.
"Repeat that!"
"....if I don't move...maybe they can't see me...if I don't move...maybe they can't see me...if I don't move...maybe..."
"Damn you, Potter!" Snape struck him. Harry bounced out of his trance.
"Condom Vampires!" Malfoy appeared at Snape's ear. "They turn you into one of them by draining the liquid of your pus-"
"Mr. Malfoy!" McGonagall interuppted. "I see Aphrodite's Reathe has given you the bravery to be an innapropriate as a...as a..."
"As a Goblin stript club?!" He called excitedly. McGonagall went red.
"That...that wasn't what I was going to say..."
"Explain to me what is going on," Snape ordered. McGonagall gestured him away from the Hall as she snapped to Malfoy and Harry, "No more of this, Mr. Malfoy! I want you to act more your age, or I will..."
"Whip my ass like a matha fugga?"
McGonagall's face turned deeper crimson. She stole the microphone out his hand, and said, "I was NOT going to say that Mr. Malfoy. No more of this. That's enough."
The teachers left. Ron and Hermione ran up to Harry as Hermione cried, "You okay, Harry?"
"Yeah." He rubbed his hand. "But I have to remember that Snape isn't a T-rex."
"T-rex..." Malfoy's voice drawled happily and pervertidly as ever. "T...king of T's...T...T...T..."
"He is grossing me out guys." Ron pointed to Malfoy. "Can we just go?"
"Today is going to suck, isn't it?" Hermione sighed as they excited the Great Hall. Malfoy was following them.
"Suck!" Malfoy cried. "Suck! Suck the T! Suck...cause I am a dick! Suck! T T T! HARRY WEARS HELLO KITTY THONGS!"
Harry's neck was hot. How many galleons he would give to just be able to kick Malfoy in the 'T'...but he knew he couldn't...
"I am sorry to say," Hermione shook her head. "But he has got to be the biggest pervert I have ever met."
"And Harry has to fall in love with him," Ron nudged his friend. Harry recoiled when Malfoy put his arm around his and said, "I want a pretty scar just like yours..."
"I feel sick..." Harry left them towards the hospital wing. "I'm just gonna...ask Madam Promfrey for a...a..."
"VIAGRA!"
"NO!" Harry yelled back. He lurched as his stomach turned. "YOUR SO...!"
But he disappeared before he could tell them exactly what Malfoy was.
"I am going to go to Charms!" Malfoy smiled to Hermione and Ron. "I'll see you guys later! I'll sit with my best friends at lunch! That you, sillies!"
Malfoy skipped off. Yes, he skipped.
"Since when were we ever his friends?" Ron growled. His nails were digging into his palms.
"Got any ideas of revenge?" Hermione asked.
"Your the smart one," Ron said. "You think of something."
"I have the perfect curse," She grinned evilly and pulled out a bright orange, handheld book. "The Grosteque Spell Book. I just found out the perfect one, too."
"What?"
"It is called..." She smiled in envy, proping the book open, her eyes shiftly looking at Malfoy's disappearing figure down the hall. "The Bitter Blood Vomit."
"I like it." Ron grinned with her.
"How many affects does it have?"
"5." She read from the book. "We'd have to give it in 5 different forms...can you think of any?"
"A T." Ron said scarcastically.
"I got it. Lunch. Somehow we should slip stuff into his backpack and maybe give him like...some kind of food?"
"Your the genius."
"You're right," She shut the book. "I am."
Wow, that joke got old. I think I've had my share fair of T jokes, how about you guys? Review if you want more!