AN: Before we start, a warning to Mimi fans. I made her much like satan in this chapter. Honestly, I sort of like the girl, but I needed a villain and I was tired of using poor Matt ;) please forgive me! :D

Chapter 10 (IS THE END!)

Life went on as usual for the rest of the world. After a few days of recovery, Sora went back to talking to Tai. He didn't say another word about Mimi and neither did anyone else…which made it that much easier for Sora to pretend it never happened and continuing denying that anything was going on between them.

But as much as someone wants to believe something, that doesn't make it true. She was pretending nothing had changed, she was pretending everything was alright…but it wasn't. She glossed over the fact that Tai never started a conversation with her, she pretended not to realize how strained and forced it all seemed…but she could only ignore it all for so long. The slow decay of her relationship with her former best friend and her lack of any new friends were slowing taking their toll. Breaking into sobs and curling into a little ball in the corner were everyday events.

And as terrible as she felt, no one even noticed. Not her teachers, not her friends in Mizayaki, not even the kids here. She was completely invisible to the world and nothing she would do could get their attention. She knew she couldn't go on like this….she knew she had to talk to Taichi.

It started out as a normal conversation…or as normal as conversations got anymore. Tai was being quite and unresponsive with Sora leading the conversation. Tai continued with one word answers "Yeahs" and… "Okays" that made Sora angrier then if he hadn't bothered to respond at all. Eventually, she blurted out what she had meant to say all along.

"arrrgg...their is hostility or something going on...I feel it but I dont know what it is ______ and it TORMENTS ME SO X( " she typed. She wasn't about to let Tai know just how much this was actually bothering her.

"SccrStr07: Well, I haven't really been feeling myself lately…" he told her.

It wasn't the answer Sora was looking for. She wanted him to comfort her, to apologize, to make up an excuse about being busy. She wanted him to assure her that everything would be alright, she wanted him to tell her he 'couldn't stop thinking' about her, she wanted him to say she was 'the beauty that is deeper then eyes can merely see'…she wanted him to be her old Tai again…

She continued to drill him, searching desperately for those answer…but they weren't there. He had said he wanted to be the shoulder that she cried on, was it to much to take him up on that offer now that everyday felt like a day in hell? She had lost the ability to be open about her feelings when she was a little girl and trying to clue Tai in on how horrible all this was making her feel without actually saying it was proving to be a difficult business. Tai kept playing everything off as a joke, or just ignoring it all together. He was getting up to get food when she was trying to pour her heart out to him.

After a while, she became more direct…but Tai still wasn't serious.

"SccrStr07: God Sora, will you stop being so melodramatic?" he had asked, making her even angrier.

No matter what she said, she couldn't get through to him. He wasn't listening and that feeling had been too familiar in the last few weeks. As he continued to insist she was being melodramatic, she grew more and more hysterical.

"TnnsNrd: YOU KNOW WHAT, SCREW IT! AND SCREW YOU TOO!"  she finally blurted out without thinking. She furiously signed off and threw herself onto the bed, tears streaming down her face. Anyone who looked back on the conversation would have seen Sora was being a bit on the pushy side. She might have even realized it, had she been in a proper state of mind…but as it was, she felt terribly wronged.

Even if Tai had thought the situation melodramatic, she had made it clear that it was important to her and that should have been enough for him. She wanted to kill him slowly, to find him and rip his heart out with her bare hands, to make him feel the pain she was feeling. Then maybe he'd see she wasn't being melodramatic.   

She tried hard to stay awake and plot Tai's demise, but she was still crying and she was still so tired. Her sobs began to soften slightly and her eyes began to slowly close. As she drifted off, she glanced up at the picture of Tai that still sat on her bedside. With her last bit of energy, she knocked the picture over and then surrendered herself to sleep.

~One Week Later~

It was a waiting game, seeing who would cave first and admit they were wrong. Sora always seemed to always be the loser, but not this time. She was sick and tired of being so sick and tired. She wasn't going to apologize, not this time, not when it hadn't been her fault.

Three weeks in, without a word from Taichi…Sora gave in. It had been the longest she had ever gone without talking to her friend and obviously…Tai could care less. She surrendered. Tai had won. She wasn't sure who she hated most at that moment: Taichi, Mimi,…or herself.

Not long after, Matt called to invite Sora to the school talent show, which his band was going to compete in. It was on Sunday, the day before her big math exam…so she was a bit hesitant.

"You know," Matt said, "Tai'll be there."

Sora paused for a second. She wasn't suppose to care if Tai was there or not…not after the way he'd treated her…

"I'll go," she answered quietly. She had always been told that there would be times when her heart and her head would disagree…but she had never believed it till now. Her mind told her to move on, that Tai was a jerk and she was being a weak delusional baby hoping to win back a boy she never even had…but her heart refused to believe any of it.

It was a long and boring ride to the talent show…but well worth it. As soon as she stepped in the door, Sora was bombarded with people. It seemed as if maybe, just for one night, she wasn't totally invisible. She met up with Matt and Izzy at the bleachers and squished them both into a big hug. After a few minutes of catching up, she casually asked, "So…where's Tai?"

"Mimi's picking him up," Izzy replied, sipping on some coke, "They should arrive here relatively soon."

Matt caught Sora's eyes, trying to read her reaction…but they remained blank. Lately, blank was all she was feeling.

Matt's band wasn't playing until after intermission, so all three sat down as the lights began to dim. The first few acts were scantly clad girls dancing to peppy little pop numbers that drove Sora to the brink of her sanity. As her eyes gazed around the room looking for familiar faces, she finally saw Tai and Mimi.

"They're here," she whispered to Izzy and Matt, who shuffled to stand. The three made there way slowly down the aisle to the door where Tai and Mimi stood.

"Hey Sora!" Mimi giggled and threw her arms around her.

"Hey," Tai mentioned passively. Sora tried smiling lightly, but failed. Her eyes were glued to Mimi, short black leather mini-skirt, a tight black blouse with word "Rebel" etched in pink AN: *shudders* burn all those shirts, gobs of silver jewelry, and thigh high black boots.

Mimi noticed her stare. "You like?" she asked, spinning around to show off her outfit, "I know, you must be surprised while you were gone, I turned like, so totally punk."

AN: Confused? You should be ;) No, I kid, I was just trying to get across Mimi's fickleness, her want for attention, and her willingness to be whatever people want her to be

Sora grinded her teeth and clenched her fist. Matt held back laughter at his friends expression. Though he was sure Sora pounding the crap out of Mimi would be entertaining, he decided to step in. "We should go sit down," he said.

"Alright, hold on, I'm gonna change my shirt," Tai said and walked towards the boys bathroom, shirt in hand.

"Let's leave him!" Mimi giggled, bouncing up and down.

"I think we should wait," Sora stated quietly.

"No! It'll be so funny! Come on!" Mimi said, grabbing Sora's hand and dragging her away.

The group sat back down again, focusing their attention on Sarah Becker, singing "The Wind Beneath My Wings" Sora, however, was watching the back of the auditorium for Tai's return.

"Hey," she said, seeing Tai exit the bathroom and look around the auditorium, "I don't think Tai can see us…we should probably go get him."

"He'll find us eventually," Mimi said, eyes fixated on Todd Jackson, who was showing his amazing "dancing pecks".

 "But I really think…" Sora started.

"Ssh!" Mimi and Matt hissed in unison.

Sora fell silent again. As Todd took a bow, she tried once more.

"Aww, guys come on, he looks so sad, let's go…"

"Sora, SSH!" came again as Mark O'Leary stepped on stage. Sora quietly waited for this for this act to end. Thankfully, Mark's act was the last before intermission, and when the house light finally came up, Tai was able to find them.

However, the lights also allowed Sora's old math teacher to notice her. By the time that conversation had ended, Sora barely had time to wish Matt good luck before the lights began to dim again.

Now she, Mimi, Tai, and Izzy took seats in the very back row. Izzy continued typing disinterestedly on his laptop as Taichi took his seat next to Mimi. "Sit here," he told Sora, motioning to the seat next to him. Sora eyed him curiously; she hadn't expected that and from the looks of it, neither had Mimi.

They quietly chatted amongst themselves for most of the acts. Tai started a long story about his (and Sora's previous) soccer team. As the story got on, Mimi got bored and interrupted, asking about the condition of her hair. Tai paused to tell her it looked fine and promptly forgot about the story that he had stressed as "the best story ever!" a minute early.

Mimi was ranting about how it had taken "forever for my hair to crimp today!" when Sora broke in. "Tai, what was the end of the story?" she asked, partially to piss off Mimi, partially to impress Tai, but mostly because it was had been her soccer team too, and she wanted to hear the end.

Tai smiled slightly at Sora, which she interpreted as him realizing 'Oh yeah, she actually cares about someone other then herself'. He finished up the story and Sora let out a laugh. For a second, things were normal again. Tai and Sora were best friends and Mimi was being ignored.

Of course, Mimi didn't like this at all. Throwing a glare at Sora, she began to run her hand up Tai's arm, giggling slightly and playing with his fingers. Sora froze, blood boiling. Mimi only took encouragement from Sora's gathering rage, resting her head on Tai's and wrapping his arm around her.

Tai was smiling slightly and to Sora's horror, reciprocating the obscene fondling. Sora felt tears welling up in her eyes and realized air wasn't getting to her lungs for some reason. Gasping a little, she forced her way out of her chair and ran quickly to the double doors a the back of the auditorium, busting them open and breathing loudly, she heard them close with a bang and collapsed onto the floor of the hall.

A few tears escaped as Sora tried hard to keep from sobbing. Mimi had won. Mimi had won Tai. She wanted more then anything for Tai to come running down the hall after her and apologize to her, and make everything okay.

Apologize for what? She asked herself, wiping tears from her eyes. He can't apologize for how he feels. He doesn't care about you. That's your fault, not his. At this thought, Sora choked a little again. Who could blame him? Look at you, you're absolutely pathetic.

She made no attempt to argue with the biting little voice in her mind….she felt pathetic. She rose, brushed herself off and smiled lightly at the closed door. An auditorium full of people and not one of them had run after her. She wiped her face again, and headed towards the door.

Matt had called the next day to ask "what the hell happened". She was unable to find an answer for him, unable to put into words the way seeing Tai and Mimi like that had made her feel. It was physical, tearing pain somewhere deep inside her like she had never felt before that remerged whenever she thought about anything remotely related to Miyazaki.

"I don't know," she had whispered sadly and Matt had proceeded to yell that she had missed the best performance and that she should have told someone she was going and that he had had a letter he needed her to deliver to Andy for him. After continuous apologies, she whimpered a good bye and hung up the phone without waiting for an answer.

She was staying with her mother in her old apartment until Monday, giving her a heavy load of makeup work to do. Almost thankfully, her mother had gone out for the day so she was left alone to catch up. She hoped on to the computer, but didn't sign on to aim. Why did it matter? No one would talk to her anyway. She quickly went to retrieve the journalism homework she had sent to herself and found an email from Tai. She smiled slightly, knowing it would be her sweet Taichi, wanting to know what had happened. She opened it up, trying not to appear excited, and began scanning the content inside.

" Hey there,

When arranging for me to get to the talent show, Mimi and I stumbled

upon the subject of tenth grade; no we didn't stumble upon it, i brought it up.

I can't remember what the stimulus was, but i mentioned how i always felt

crappy in ninth and tenth grade because i was constantly being annoyed and how things were better this year . I probably shouldn't have said that, mind you.

Then I regretted saying anything because she felt needlessly bad.

Oh yes!? Heaven forbid Mimi should feel bad!! Tai had just blatantly stated that SORA was the cause of him feeling bad in his ninth and tenth grade year.

Just yesterday i found out you were "mad" at me again. i thought

everything was fine because of the instant message you had sent me that one day, and i

had no reason to believe that anything was wrong except for the constant hints

that you were angry with me again. Matt let me in on why, he said you were mad at

me because you had apparently said i wasn't talking to you anymore. but i

could only wonder why _you_ hadn't told me this. of course, i knew that was

how you handled things, maybe you asked people to drop hints, maybe you didn't,

i don't know. but all i know is i was oblivious.

Sora burned with rage. HOW SHE HANDLED THINGS?! NO, IT WASN'T HOW SHE HANDLED THINGS!! She had tried to confront Tai about her problem but he had called her melodramatic! She had told Matt in confidence, not that she was mad at Tai, but that she was lonely, and missed talking to him. She thought Tai knew her better then to think she would stop to "dropping hints" for attention. But now here he was, accusing her of something that had never happened. She wanted to bad to slap some sense into him.

perhaps you won't mind if i gave a suggestion, and i try my best to

step lightly without diluting what i want to say. and yet, i've decided not to say

it at all because i don't know the whole story, that is, your side, so it would

be elementary of me to make a rash comment.

For once, Sora was glad he didn't say whatever he was thinking. It was probably just another one of his ego-trip conclusions based on zero facts what-so-ever.

So Mimi predicts that she will be torn between us two when you decide

to go somewhere where i'm not in a demonstration of your disdain, based on

what shes seen in the past no doubt. and sure enough when i get there and change

into my shirts, i've been left. i can't say i didn't expect it, but i handled it the way

i handle most relevant things by forgetting about it. so i sit down

next to Jamie and talk, "handling it like a pro," but with that same crappy

feeling.

Mimi, THAT BITCH, she had been the one to leave Tai! That's why she wouldn't listen! That's why she left him! She was setting Sora up! Seen in the past?! Where was Tai pulling this shit from!? Had he gone completely insane!?

then i go and talk to the Jason, and wait until i spot a sympathetic one; usually when this has happened before someone has felt bad or something and come out and retrieved me. finally i see a trio trekking across the court, bid farewell to the Jason  stating that i found my friends, and walk up alongside. i say to Mimi "man, that was clever of you", and she says that she felt really bad. and i was like "just like we said on the phone" and she gave that genuine laugh.

She felt bad?...clever of her? Sora had been the one to feel bad, Sora had been the one to get them to go back over to Tai. That genuine laugh!? That pure acid false little giggle. Mimi had KNOWN what she was doing, she knew she destroying Sora...and she was using it to get Tai.

fact is i hadn't been talking to anyone. maybe one or two people, but I was just in a strange state and i think i am still. i didn't really want to talk too many people at all, you know, sometimes people just need that sort of time. or maybe i was just waiting for something, i don't know yet, everythings screwed up these days for the most irrelevant reasons. i'm so confused. whatever, don't get sad or anything. hopefully we can hang out again soon, you look nice and seem to be happy, i've learned recently that that's what's most important. don't ask me how, i'm still trying to figure it out myself.

Tai

It was a lie, he knew it and she knew it. She didn't look nice, she wasn't happy, he didn't hope they could hang out soon. Everything Tai, the one person she had trusted, had ever said, was a lie. Everything anyone had ever told her was a lie. Her friends had claimed they would miss her, but every one of them had moved on with out her. None of them wanted to take any of their own time to find out what was wrong, why she was so pale, why she kept shaking, why she ran out of the auditorium crying. Matt barely talked to her anymore…and the few times he did it was to tell her about Andy or to say what a horrible person she was.

Everyone hated her. Everyone in Miyazaki, everyone in Tokyo. Her father had hated her that's why he had left them. She was worthless and ugly and she would never be loved. She could work as much as she wanted, get the best grades, but what could did it do? Guys aren't looking at girls report cards, getting straight A's won't get you friends. She was sobbing hysterically as she stumbled to the bathroom.

Her world was collapsing around her. The pressure of school, loneliness, and utter desperation that had been pressing down on her since she arrived at TAGAT brought her too her knees. Pictures flashed quickly through her mind but never stayed long enough for her to distinguish them. She just wanted for someone to stay. She just wanted to be worth something. She just wanted to be loved.

She grasped the familiar porcelain toilet with dizzy disposition. She vomited for a while and then when there was nothing left to bring up, she started to dry heave. She couldn't go on like this. She couldn't let this go on anymore. There was no one to trust in the world. She was more alone then she had ever thought.

Exhaustion and surrender overcame her. She was just too tired, too tired. Her mind slowly went blank and she collapsed onto the cold tile floor.

AN: Okay everyone, it's 2 AM, I know the editing for last four chapters has been horrible…but I'm tired, now for some important information!

Originally, I had planned for Sora's "collapse" not to happen until chapter 11 in which she went back to Miyazaki, loses feelings for Tai, Tai shows his absolute obsession with Mimi and begins ranting about how everyone other digidestined is virtually worthless. In one scene, Tai holds Sora's hand and states "You know what I mean?" and makes her realize she'll never be over him. Then, after a lengthy inner monologue from Sora, I was going to have "the collapse". I had this chapter almost completed when I realize it was repeating way too much of the other chapters and wasn't helping really helping the plot progress any further. So I cut it and moved "the collapse" to this chapter, hoping it doesn't seem to sudden ;)

As for this being the end, it's not! :D In fact, for the first time EVER I was faced with the possibility of MULTIPLE endings. At first, I had been dead set on one ending that "came to me in a dream" ;) Like all dreams, it was mysterious and confusing, with lots of possibilities and lots of unanswered questions. It was the ending I wanted and it seemed to be the ending that matched best with the fiction. But then I was forced to look at reality. If this was reality, and not fiction, how would the ending turn out? Ultimately, it was a different ending then what I had thought…but I still liked it because it seemed the most sane. Then, of course, I remembered the most important rule in fanfiction. It's for the fans. I had labeled this fic "Taiora" but it had turned out more angst then romance. I thought about if I was reading this fic and had waited all this time…and gotten no Taiora, I would be pissed as hell, and that's where the third ending came from.

In conclusion,

If you want the ending you probably want, with romance and a totally disregard of reality, go on to

Chapter 11: Pockets Full of Posies

If you want the foggy ending derived from my subconscious, click straight over to

Chapter 12: Ashes, Ashes

If you want the depressing realistic ending, head to

Chapter 13: We All Fall Down

I hope you've all enjoyed this fic and walked away with some kind of moral…whatever it may be. Thank you so much for your time and your reviews. I also hope you enjoy your ability to pick your own ending. Sadly, it's not a novelty we have quite often :) As always, reviews are appreciated IMMENSLY.

With lots of love and the best wishes,

Soragirl

"Have you hugged an author today? Write a review and make one's day!"