We All Fall Down

AN: So you choose the depressing, predictable, realistic ending? Good for you! :D Way to face reality! :D

A freezing wind blew through the dead trees of Miyazaki Arms Cemetery, the cold and bleak weather seemed only fitting for such a cold and bleak day. The casket was surrounded by rows of people, shivering in the wind.

Matt Yamato clutched the hand of his boyfriend Andy tightly, trying to keep himself from crying. It was effective enough for that, but he couldn't keep himself from thinking it was all his fault, that he should have been there for his friend. Getting progressively angrier at himself, he nearly crushed Andy's hand. Andy withdrew it quickly but placed his arm around Matt's waist in understand. Matt caved, and began crying softly.

Izzy stood stolid, head bowed slightly, feeling his own guilt as well. Joe stood beside him, staring out into the distance, unable to comprehend what had happened. Kari was sobbing hysterically and shivering spastically.  T.K. wrapped his arms and his jacket around her, as if trying shield her from either the cold or the pain as a few tears rolled down his own cheeks.

James stood next to Meichi, both admittedly ashamed that they were the only two TAGAT students to attend the funeral (besides Andy). James looked nervous and uncomfortable around people who had known Sora most of her life. Meichi tried to play the role of the "concerned but brave" friend, making her eyes water slightly as she stared at the casket.

Mimi stood next to Taichi, happy that she had finally been given the chance to wear her new black dress. She too faked concern, turning her head dramatically, stifling "sobs", aggressively grabbing Tai by the arm, and leaning her head on his shoulder.

Tai stood blankly; emotions completely unreadable. He and Sora had discussed suicide casually once or twice. Both had agreed that it was "the cowards way out" and "not a solution", or at least, both had said that. It wasn't a secret that he had hurt Sora, even if they hadn't showed her diary passages…He had caused her death,he knew that,…but the question was, did he care? The question was unanswerable, as he stood off in his own world, staring at the coffin.

Sora Takenouchi, 17, had been found dead in a pool of her own blood four days ago. Two long cuts stretched down her tender wrists, deep enough to reveal bones. Medical examiners had ruled the cause of death suicide on sight. The body was taken to the morgue but Ms.Takenouchi's was left to clean her daughter's blood from the tiles.

The woman, torn and broken beyond all belief, approached the podium. Emotionlessly, she opened up a small black book, Sora's journal, and flipped to a bookmarked page. She began reading tearfully, with a hint of anger in her usually soft tone.

"For once, I'm at a lack for words. The one time my words are important, the one time my words could be listened to, or make any difference…and I don't know what to say. There's too much to say, too much to explain, too much to apologize for. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of crying, I'm tired in living in a world where everything is fake or corrupt. No one cares…no one cares at all…it's a dull and painful realization but it's what finally allowed me to be free.

 I'm not sure about God or about what comes beyond this point. I'm fairly certain even if there is a heaven, that's not where I would be headed towards. I'm terrified of what I'll find waiting for me on "the other side" and I know, now more then ever, I'll have to face it alone…and yet, I'm going anyway, because I have to…because there is no way for me to take this hurting anymore. I know no matter where I go, be it heaven, hell, or if it just all goes blank…it's got to be better then here, it has to be. I'm sorry. You have to know. I'm so so sorry.

I guess that's all that's important really, that I'm sorry and that I loved you all more then you could ever know. What does the reasoning matter? I think I'm headed to a better place now....just please forgive what I have done.…we all get tired, I mean eventually…there's nothing left to do but sleep… "

Ms. Takenouchi had broken into hysterically sobs but had continued to read her only daughter's suicide note. She had planned on giving a speech about how much her daughter meant to her, what a wonderful person she was, how the had to stop this from happening to any other children. It was all there, written on a sheet of small sheet of paper…but she couldn't read the words, she couldn't make the sounds come out. Shocked and unsure, she whispered the only thing she could think of.

"Goodbye Sora…" she whispered, closed the small black notebook and dropped it on the side of the casket.

AN: As you can tell, I've never really written anything particularly depressing before, so this ending was really hard for me. In fact, the ending line of the suicide note, I of course stole from Bright Eyes: No Lies, Just Love, an absolutely awesome song about suicide *hugs Conner Oberst till his eyes pop out* Anyway, this is the "real" ending to the story, the other two were just made up to please myself and readers ;) I hope you enjoyed the story and found at least one ending you could stand!

As always, infinite love and best wishes! :DDD

-Soragirl

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