Nikki stepped in the door and threw her coat on a nearby chair. Jake
loosened his tie absentmindedly as the mother of his child stepped back
into his life.
"Down boy," Nikki said, sidling over to the crib. Jenny cooed up at her. Nikki smiled. "Look, she knows her mother."
Jake found his voice.
"She doesn't have a mother." His tone was sharp and it took Nikki by surprise. "What are you doing here, Nikki?"
"I didn't come to pick a fight, don't get all excited." She began to pace around the small living room, scaling the place up. Jake found this behavior strange. Then again, things were always strange with Nikki.
"Then what are you here for?"
Nikki stopped and bit her lip. Her thickly outlined eyes were wide with innocence and she took a step towards Jake. He took a step away from her. She turned her attention back to Jenny. She was playing with Peyton's keys, a soft jingle echoing from the crib.
"Creative." She remarked dryly. She looked at Jake. "Who's are they?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but a girl I know, Peyton Sawyer, watched Jenny today while I went to my cousins wedding. She gave Jenny the keys." He looked at her, expecting her to retort. When she didn't, he crossed his arms and sighed. "What do you want, Nik?"
"Jake, Jake, Jake. Can't I just stop in to say hello to my own daughter?"
"No." His voice was tall and strong and not at all how he was feeling at the moment. The truth was, he felt unnerved. What was she doing here? He hadn't even seen her in... "Six months," He said aloud, looking at the ceiling. "Without so much as a phone call. And you expect that you can just walk back into our lives? Nikki, you were always ruthless. But never stupid. You know that you can't just come back here to 'say hello'. Tell me why you're here."
Nikki raised her eyebrows.
"And you never did beat around that bush, eh?" She looked him straight in the eye and walked up to him. This time he didn't step back, but stood his ground, against his own will. "Do you wanna see a magic trick, Jake?"
"Only if it makes you disappear."
Nikki laughed gently, a sound that Jake thought was forever from his memory.
"Such a funny guy."
"None of this magic trick crap, Nikki. What do you want?"
Nikki sighed. "I need a place to crash."
Jake's mouth fell open. "You can't be serious." After all she had put him through.
"But I am, Jake. Actually, I've been thinking about you lately." She took another step towards him until they were about a foot apart. She reached out to touch him but he turned around, staring determinedly at the wall. Nikki sighed in disgust. Jake studied the carpet, determined not to let her see the tears in her eyes.
"Get out." Jake said softly to the floor. He didn't raise his voice, but there was so much pain and hatred in his tone that Nikki stepped back.
"Fine." She said. "Be that way. You were always a sore loser."
Jake waited until he heard the door close with a crash before he turned around. Jenny was crying from her crib. He picked her up and held her tightly in his arms.
"I'm never gonna let her touch you, angel." He stroked her hair as she cooed and settled down. "You don't ever have to worry about her."
Peyton was drawing again. She had already filled an entire sketchbook and had started on her second. All of her feelings were released onto the cool canvas. She felt as though a bomb had gone off inside of her, and she was only now picking up the pieces to the wreckage.
Then, she felt relaxed. After a few Brooke/Satan pictures she had begun to doodle Jenny. She loved drawing babies, especially her. Her eyes were so beautiful, so full of unspoiled life. It comforted Peyton to think that Jenny was still innocent, and how she still had time to be so.
She loved spending time with Jenny that afternoon. And Jake too. He was a pretty good guy. And a great dad. She wondered who the mother was. Then she decided it didn't really matter.
There were a lot of things about Jake she didn't know. She was curious, yes, but she didn't feel that intense desire to investigate him like she had with so many other people. It was weird to think about that aspect of it...
Her phone rang. She leaned over and without thinking picked up the phone.
"Hello?" She was surprised to find her voice sounding so calm, so happy.
"Hey. It's me." The last bit was unnecessary, as Peyton knew from the first syllable who's voice it was.
"Lucas." She breathed. Her voice was less happy, like someone had punctured her cheerfulness. Lucas noticed too. He sighed.
The line was silent for a second. Peyton considered disconnecting her phone.
"I-I need to talk," He told her.
Peyton glanced at the clock. It was 11:30.
"Now?" She asked, surprised.
"I'm outback." There was a click and the phone was dead. Peyton stood cautiously and grabbed her jacket.
The air was crisp and silent. There didn't even seem to be any crickets that night. Lucas was sitting on a stool, tapping his feet nervously and looking around. Peyton sat down next to him.
"What's going on, Lucas?" Her voice sounded more tired than he had implied.
Lucas noticed and looked ashamed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you."
"You didn't." She said. There was an awkward pause in which Peyton shifted her weight and looked at Lucas.
"I just wanted to talk to you. I know that you aren't the happiest person with me. And frankly, I'm not any happier. I just wanted to know how you are holding up."
Peyton raised her eyebrows. "I'm fine." She said. She didn't know if it was the truth or not. He looked at her, surprised. "Is that really why you are here?" She asked him quietly. Lucas shrugged.
"I just figured...since this whole thing...I..." He seemed to be struggling for the right words. Peyton found she didn't need them. She put a finger to his lips. The pain and frustration in Lucas's face gave way to a new emotion. It was one of hope, and confusion.
"I don't need any explanations. As a matter of fact, I think I would be better off without any."
Lucas nodded. "I was going to apologize to you again, but it's hard finding the right words to make them sound believable again." He shook his head. "It seems like each time I say 'I'm sorry' it just loses more meaning."
Peyton smiled. "Sometimes, it takes more than an apology. Or less. Sometimes there's nothing you can do. I think this is one of those times, Lucas. Just let it go." She stood.
"But I can't." He said painfully. Peyton took one look at his face and knew he really felt that way.
"I know," She said. She turned so that they were face to face again. "But you have to. Things will never be the same again and you just have to get used to that-" She was aware of the fact that he had stood, and was looking at her intently, with a face she had seen so often...She felt her insides melt. Damn him. "You just can't make things go back to how they were, Lucas, it doesn't work that way. You can't just look at me, and know –I mean, think- that I will just give in an betray Brooke again-"
Lucas put a finger to her lips this time, wincing at the sound of Brooke's name.
"Shhhh..." he said softly, brushing a curl from Peyton's face. She shivered. Maybe it was her imagination, but she was sure she had heard something from the trees on the edge of her property...But then he closed his eyes, and kissed her softly. It was a question. She answered, and kissed him back, suddenly forgetting why she had sworn him off. Why would she ever want to give this up? How stupid she had been...how good it felt to be with him...
She ran her fingers through his hair. How much she had missed it...only a few days had seemed like an eternity...He hand was running along her back now, massaging her in all the places she liked, a familiar and yet questionable territory.
She placed her hand on his back and rubbed his shoulder. He stopped and winced. She gave a small gasp. She had completely forgotten about his arm.
"I'm sorry..." She began. Then she froze. It was coming back to her...The accident...flashes ran through her mind...Brooke crying on her shoulder...Lucas lying in the hospital, on the verge of death...Her, sitting by his side..."I'll wait forever..." She had said to him...Then there was Brooke's determined face as she made the get well poster for him...the way she was crying at the mall as she explained to Peyton how Lucas had dumped her...saying how she was the best friend in the world...
"I-I have to go." She stammered. Lucas looked at her, confused for a moment.
"What's wrong?"
But she was already heading back to her house, furious tears in her eyes. She had to rebuild that damn wall. For some reason every time Lucas looked her in the eyes her fortress crumbled. It seemed like she knew nothing about guarding herself from him. She did know one thing, however. And that was that she couldn't keep doing this to herself. There was only one thing for it. A pact, to herself. There was no way she would ever kiss Lucas again.
"Down boy," Nikki said, sidling over to the crib. Jenny cooed up at her. Nikki smiled. "Look, she knows her mother."
Jake found his voice.
"She doesn't have a mother." His tone was sharp and it took Nikki by surprise. "What are you doing here, Nikki?"
"I didn't come to pick a fight, don't get all excited." She began to pace around the small living room, scaling the place up. Jake found this behavior strange. Then again, things were always strange with Nikki.
"Then what are you here for?"
Nikki stopped and bit her lip. Her thickly outlined eyes were wide with innocence and she took a step towards Jake. He took a step away from her. She turned her attention back to Jenny. She was playing with Peyton's keys, a soft jingle echoing from the crib.
"Creative." She remarked dryly. She looked at Jake. "Who's are they?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but a girl I know, Peyton Sawyer, watched Jenny today while I went to my cousins wedding. She gave Jenny the keys." He looked at her, expecting her to retort. When she didn't, he crossed his arms and sighed. "What do you want, Nik?"
"Jake, Jake, Jake. Can't I just stop in to say hello to my own daughter?"
"No." His voice was tall and strong and not at all how he was feeling at the moment. The truth was, he felt unnerved. What was she doing here? He hadn't even seen her in... "Six months," He said aloud, looking at the ceiling. "Without so much as a phone call. And you expect that you can just walk back into our lives? Nikki, you were always ruthless. But never stupid. You know that you can't just come back here to 'say hello'. Tell me why you're here."
Nikki raised her eyebrows.
"And you never did beat around that bush, eh?" She looked him straight in the eye and walked up to him. This time he didn't step back, but stood his ground, against his own will. "Do you wanna see a magic trick, Jake?"
"Only if it makes you disappear."
Nikki laughed gently, a sound that Jake thought was forever from his memory.
"Such a funny guy."
"None of this magic trick crap, Nikki. What do you want?"
Nikki sighed. "I need a place to crash."
Jake's mouth fell open. "You can't be serious." After all she had put him through.
"But I am, Jake. Actually, I've been thinking about you lately." She took another step towards him until they were about a foot apart. She reached out to touch him but he turned around, staring determinedly at the wall. Nikki sighed in disgust. Jake studied the carpet, determined not to let her see the tears in her eyes.
"Get out." Jake said softly to the floor. He didn't raise his voice, but there was so much pain and hatred in his tone that Nikki stepped back.
"Fine." She said. "Be that way. You were always a sore loser."
Jake waited until he heard the door close with a crash before he turned around. Jenny was crying from her crib. He picked her up and held her tightly in his arms.
"I'm never gonna let her touch you, angel." He stroked her hair as she cooed and settled down. "You don't ever have to worry about her."
Peyton was drawing again. She had already filled an entire sketchbook and had started on her second. All of her feelings were released onto the cool canvas. She felt as though a bomb had gone off inside of her, and she was only now picking up the pieces to the wreckage.
Then, she felt relaxed. After a few Brooke/Satan pictures she had begun to doodle Jenny. She loved drawing babies, especially her. Her eyes were so beautiful, so full of unspoiled life. It comforted Peyton to think that Jenny was still innocent, and how she still had time to be so.
She loved spending time with Jenny that afternoon. And Jake too. He was a pretty good guy. And a great dad. She wondered who the mother was. Then she decided it didn't really matter.
There were a lot of things about Jake she didn't know. She was curious, yes, but she didn't feel that intense desire to investigate him like she had with so many other people. It was weird to think about that aspect of it...
Her phone rang. She leaned over and without thinking picked up the phone.
"Hello?" She was surprised to find her voice sounding so calm, so happy.
"Hey. It's me." The last bit was unnecessary, as Peyton knew from the first syllable who's voice it was.
"Lucas." She breathed. Her voice was less happy, like someone had punctured her cheerfulness. Lucas noticed too. He sighed.
The line was silent for a second. Peyton considered disconnecting her phone.
"I-I need to talk," He told her.
Peyton glanced at the clock. It was 11:30.
"Now?" She asked, surprised.
"I'm outback." There was a click and the phone was dead. Peyton stood cautiously and grabbed her jacket.
The air was crisp and silent. There didn't even seem to be any crickets that night. Lucas was sitting on a stool, tapping his feet nervously and looking around. Peyton sat down next to him.
"What's going on, Lucas?" Her voice sounded more tired than he had implied.
Lucas noticed and looked ashamed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you."
"You didn't." She said. There was an awkward pause in which Peyton shifted her weight and looked at Lucas.
"I just wanted to talk to you. I know that you aren't the happiest person with me. And frankly, I'm not any happier. I just wanted to know how you are holding up."
Peyton raised her eyebrows. "I'm fine." She said. She didn't know if it was the truth or not. He looked at her, surprised. "Is that really why you are here?" She asked him quietly. Lucas shrugged.
"I just figured...since this whole thing...I..." He seemed to be struggling for the right words. Peyton found she didn't need them. She put a finger to his lips. The pain and frustration in Lucas's face gave way to a new emotion. It was one of hope, and confusion.
"I don't need any explanations. As a matter of fact, I think I would be better off without any."
Lucas nodded. "I was going to apologize to you again, but it's hard finding the right words to make them sound believable again." He shook his head. "It seems like each time I say 'I'm sorry' it just loses more meaning."
Peyton smiled. "Sometimes, it takes more than an apology. Or less. Sometimes there's nothing you can do. I think this is one of those times, Lucas. Just let it go." She stood.
"But I can't." He said painfully. Peyton took one look at his face and knew he really felt that way.
"I know," She said. She turned so that they were face to face again. "But you have to. Things will never be the same again and you just have to get used to that-" She was aware of the fact that he had stood, and was looking at her intently, with a face she had seen so often...She felt her insides melt. Damn him. "You just can't make things go back to how they were, Lucas, it doesn't work that way. You can't just look at me, and know –I mean, think- that I will just give in an betray Brooke again-"
Lucas put a finger to her lips this time, wincing at the sound of Brooke's name.
"Shhhh..." he said softly, brushing a curl from Peyton's face. She shivered. Maybe it was her imagination, but she was sure she had heard something from the trees on the edge of her property...But then he closed his eyes, and kissed her softly. It was a question. She answered, and kissed him back, suddenly forgetting why she had sworn him off. Why would she ever want to give this up? How stupid she had been...how good it felt to be with him...
She ran her fingers through his hair. How much she had missed it...only a few days had seemed like an eternity...He hand was running along her back now, massaging her in all the places she liked, a familiar and yet questionable territory.
She placed her hand on his back and rubbed his shoulder. He stopped and winced. She gave a small gasp. She had completely forgotten about his arm.
"I'm sorry..." She began. Then she froze. It was coming back to her...The accident...flashes ran through her mind...Brooke crying on her shoulder...Lucas lying in the hospital, on the verge of death...Her, sitting by his side..."I'll wait forever..." She had said to him...Then there was Brooke's determined face as she made the get well poster for him...the way she was crying at the mall as she explained to Peyton how Lucas had dumped her...saying how she was the best friend in the world...
"I-I have to go." She stammered. Lucas looked at her, confused for a moment.
"What's wrong?"
But she was already heading back to her house, furious tears in her eyes. She had to rebuild that damn wall. For some reason every time Lucas looked her in the eyes her fortress crumbled. It seemed like she knew nothing about guarding herself from him. She did know one thing, however. And that was that she couldn't keep doing this to herself. There was only one thing for it. A pact, to herself. There was no way she would ever kiss Lucas again.