Lucas watched disbelievingly as Peyton walked away from him for what
seemed to be the thousandth time. It seemed as though he had spent more of
his time watching her back recently than he had actually talking to her.
He stepped out and onto the sidewalk, admiring the quiet night. The air was still and crisp, with a slight breeze that made him grasp his jacket tighter around him. He almost felt out of place, like he was a nuisance with all of his pent up feelings in such a calm place. He felt ashamed for being a part of the silence...it seemed that he didn't belong to the innocence.
He felt so alone.
I know she wants me, he thought to himself. There were so many unresolved feelings there. And when he had kissed her...he loved that feeling. For a moment, there wasn't anything separating them. Then, it was almost as if Brooke was standing between them, smirking and building up that damn wall again.
But in truth it wasn't Brooke's fault.
It's your own fault, he reminded himself. If only he hadn't cheated on Brooke...if he had just been honest with her...nothing would really be different, he decided. She would have hated him anyways, and he would have kissed Peyton anyways.
It just seemed too unfair to suppose that there was no way to fix things.
Footsteps behind him jolted Lucas out of his deep thoughts. He looked over his shoulder.
A dark figure stood in the road, eerily outlined in the dim lamplight.
"Hello, Lucas." A smooth voice cut through the distance like a knife and straight into Lucas's memory. He stood, puzzled for a moment before it hit him.
"Nikki?" He asked the darkness. The figure shifted and came up to him. Lucas shivered. But then he saw her face, and calmed a little. "I thought you had left. What are you doing here?"
Nikki wrapped her arms around herself and gave him a half-smile. "I was visiting a friend. My lease expired on my apartment, and I was looking for a place to stay. But my friend and I had a fight, and I don't that that's an option anymore. So now I'm looking for some place to crash."
For a fleeting second, Lucas's stomach dropped. Then he calmed himself.
"That sucks. I'm sorry." Nikki looked at him with those eyes he remembered so well. They hadn't been far from his mind since their night on the merry-go-round.
Nikki sighed. It was an airy kind of sigh, but he could tell that she was just trying to cover up the fact that she was exhausted. He also sensed something about her...she seemed upset to him.
"Do you have any idea of a place that I could stay at for tonight?" Her voice was getting smaller, and less hopeful. Lucas was starting to feel bad for her. Her makeup was smudged, and she looked as though she had been crying. But she was still beautiful.
She seemed to have lost that fire that Lucas had seen the other night...the one he had feared. He nodded indulgently.
"Well, I know of a motel nearby..." He trailed off when Nikki looked at the ground. She was shivering slightly. He realized that she might not have much money on her. "That I can take you to tomorrow. For tonight, you can crash at my place, if you'd like."
Nikki beamed at him. Then her smile faltered. "Are you sure?" She asked him in a quavering voice. "I don't want to intrude or anything."
"It's fine." Lucas said. "My mom's already asleep. We'll just slip in through the back."
Nikki looked at him with an unsettlingly grateful smile. "Thanks soooo much," She purred. "I promise I will find a way to pay you back..." She let her voice trail of with just a hint of suggestion. "Any way you like," She said. His mind flashed back to the night on the merry-go-round. He smiled.
Lucas looked at her, and knew it would be wrong. He was thinking of Peyton, and Brooke, and all the people that he had loved and hurt. How they would all feel if they knew that he was about to let some stranger off the street stay the night...
They don't have to know, he decided as they set off. They definitely didn't have to know. Besides, right then, with Nikki at his side, he really didn't give a damn about anything.
* * * * *
The morning was fresh and bright, and Jake felt for a moment sitting out on his porch in the sunshine that there was nothing wrong. Jenny cooed up from the bassinet, gurgling and making noises at the brisk morning.
Jake felt the morning was deceiving him. The morning acted as though everything was fine. As though there was no ex-girlfriend bothering them. As though her intentions were all holy. Jake felt uneasy. What was Nikki really doing in town?
He had known her for a long time, and knew that she didn't just want to see Jenny. She wanted something more...
One thing was for sure...he would never allow Nikki and her cruel games to interfere with their lives. He couldn't stand the thought of Jenny growing up and having that witch for a mother. It wouldn't happen. Jenny was his, and always would be.
He shivered. It was unnerving, the way she had appeared out of the darkness. How she didn't look any different than she had six months ago...her dark eyes were still alluring, her lean frame tempting, her dark demeanor tantalizing...
He only felt bad for the poor guy that she was messing around with now. He doesn't know what he's getting himself into, Jake thought. If there was only some way that I could rewind to the point where I had never met her...I would have.
But you can't change the past...he thought miserably. All you can do is hope for a better future. Peyton's face flashed through his mind and he smiled in spite of himself. For a moment he sank into the memory of the previous night, when he had come home to fins her watching over Jenny. They had laughed together...he had been happier with her than he had with anyone else in months.
But no. It just wasn't possible. Things were too messy with her right now. He knew she was dealing with a Lucas-Brooke triangle right now. And she probably doesn't need you to complicate things...he told himself firmly.
Besides, it's not like you really like her...you just like hanging out with her. And she probably doesn't even like you anyways. No big deal.
Only the thought didn't comfort him. He frowned.
He really wanted to see her again, although he wasn't sure what he wanted to see her as. Did he really want to get involved with Peyton? Besides the fact that she had a lot on her plate at the moment, it wasn't the best of times for him either. It seemed that he only had enough room in his life for one girl right now, and that was foremost Jenny.
He picked her up out of her crib and held her, smiling as her eyes opened wide.
"Hey angel." Jenny gurgled and grabbed his fingers, trying to suck on them. "Don't you worry, sweetie. You are my number one girl. You always will be. You're all I need..."
But Peyton's smile didn't leave his mind all morning.
*****
There was a patch of sunlight dancing across Lucas's face as groaned and opened his eyes slowly, allowing the dazzling light to jar him to his senses. He shivered a bit, and pulled the covers up around his bare body.
Something was wrong. He looked around his room. His clothes were in a pile on his floor, next to a paper bag that looked as though it had alcohol in it. There was a bottle of Bacardi sitting next to his bed, half empty, and another empty bottle had rolled under the bed. He rubbed his eyes as he came to terms with the fact that he didn't remember anything from the previous night.
He was alone his bed, which was good. Or was it? He didn't know. He stumbled out of bed and pulled on some shorts, and headed down the hall for a shower. He wasn't thinking clearly yet, but there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind.
What had happened last night? It scared him that couldn't remember. He didn't think he had ever been so drunk that he couldn't remember anything. He thought hard. What was the last thing I can remember?
Soft blonde curls, questioning eyes, a soft kiss...followed by a more passionate one...
His thoughts jammed up as though this singular thought had stopped everything. Did I sleep with Peyton? He wondered. But where was she? He rubbed his eyes in confusion and got out of the shower. He dried quickly, trying to think.
He made his way around the house, making sure that there wasn't anyone there. He went back to his room and picked up the phone. He was about to dial Peyton's number when he slammed the phone down again.
He couldn't call her. What if it hadn't been her? Then she would know that he had been with another girl...but had he? It wasn't Brooke...it couldn't be...unless...?
Dialing Brooke's number, he sat impatiently, tapping his foot.
"Hello?" Her voice was groggy and tired.
"Hey Brooke. It's Lucas."
"Oh."
Lucas felt relieved. That was most definitely a no. She sounded pissed off. Which meant that she was still mad at him. Which meant that they most definitely didn't do anything last night. Unless... "Hey, I was wondering how you were. What have you been up to?"
"Nothing." Her voice was curt.
"So what did you do last night?"
"What the hell is this? Are you going to be some jealous exboyfriend all of the sudden? I was out, okay? Is that okay? God, like it's any of your business."
"I'm sorry-"
"Like hell you are." The phone went dead.
Lucas felt drained and frustrated. He had the worst headache he had ever had, a mystery woman that he might have slept with and had no idea of how to find her, two girls that probably hate his guts right now, and to top it all off, he felt sick to his stomach.
"Peachy." He said dryly to his empty room. He was just now realizing how completely trashed his room was. The books from his desk were on the floor, his mattress was practically hanging off its frame, his curtains were half open, his computer...
His computer! Had Peyton seen the whole thing? Stunned by this unexpected thought, Lucas lept from his bedside to the computer. His web cam wasn't on. Nor was hers. He sat back down with a heavy sigh, disappointed not to see her face on the screen.
Although it's a good thing that she didn't see you last night with...whoever. It must have been one hell of a night, by the looks of things.
Somehow he felt as though he hadn't slept with Peyton. Something in his gut was telling him that it was just wishful thinking. He sighed. Why couldn't he stop thinking about her?
"Screw it all." He had come to a quick conclusion. Effortless, painless...He had finally found the answer. He just wasn't going to care.
His heart hurt at his next thought, but he simply stood and started to dress, ignoring the empty feeling in his stomach.
I don't need Peyton. I just have to stop thinking about her. Screw her. Better yet, screw the world. People suck.
He stepped out and onto the sidewalk, admiring the quiet night. The air was still and crisp, with a slight breeze that made him grasp his jacket tighter around him. He almost felt out of place, like he was a nuisance with all of his pent up feelings in such a calm place. He felt ashamed for being a part of the silence...it seemed that he didn't belong to the innocence.
He felt so alone.
I know she wants me, he thought to himself. There were so many unresolved feelings there. And when he had kissed her...he loved that feeling. For a moment, there wasn't anything separating them. Then, it was almost as if Brooke was standing between them, smirking and building up that damn wall again.
But in truth it wasn't Brooke's fault.
It's your own fault, he reminded himself. If only he hadn't cheated on Brooke...if he had just been honest with her...nothing would really be different, he decided. She would have hated him anyways, and he would have kissed Peyton anyways.
It just seemed too unfair to suppose that there was no way to fix things.
Footsteps behind him jolted Lucas out of his deep thoughts. He looked over his shoulder.
A dark figure stood in the road, eerily outlined in the dim lamplight.
"Hello, Lucas." A smooth voice cut through the distance like a knife and straight into Lucas's memory. He stood, puzzled for a moment before it hit him.
"Nikki?" He asked the darkness. The figure shifted and came up to him. Lucas shivered. But then he saw her face, and calmed a little. "I thought you had left. What are you doing here?"
Nikki wrapped her arms around herself and gave him a half-smile. "I was visiting a friend. My lease expired on my apartment, and I was looking for a place to stay. But my friend and I had a fight, and I don't that that's an option anymore. So now I'm looking for some place to crash."
For a fleeting second, Lucas's stomach dropped. Then he calmed himself.
"That sucks. I'm sorry." Nikki looked at him with those eyes he remembered so well. They hadn't been far from his mind since their night on the merry-go-round.
Nikki sighed. It was an airy kind of sigh, but he could tell that she was just trying to cover up the fact that she was exhausted. He also sensed something about her...she seemed upset to him.
"Do you have any idea of a place that I could stay at for tonight?" Her voice was getting smaller, and less hopeful. Lucas was starting to feel bad for her. Her makeup was smudged, and she looked as though she had been crying. But she was still beautiful.
She seemed to have lost that fire that Lucas had seen the other night...the one he had feared. He nodded indulgently.
"Well, I know of a motel nearby..." He trailed off when Nikki looked at the ground. She was shivering slightly. He realized that she might not have much money on her. "That I can take you to tomorrow. For tonight, you can crash at my place, if you'd like."
Nikki beamed at him. Then her smile faltered. "Are you sure?" She asked him in a quavering voice. "I don't want to intrude or anything."
"It's fine." Lucas said. "My mom's already asleep. We'll just slip in through the back."
Nikki looked at him with an unsettlingly grateful smile. "Thanks soooo much," She purred. "I promise I will find a way to pay you back..." She let her voice trail of with just a hint of suggestion. "Any way you like," She said. His mind flashed back to the night on the merry-go-round. He smiled.
Lucas looked at her, and knew it would be wrong. He was thinking of Peyton, and Brooke, and all the people that he had loved and hurt. How they would all feel if they knew that he was about to let some stranger off the street stay the night...
They don't have to know, he decided as they set off. They definitely didn't have to know. Besides, right then, with Nikki at his side, he really didn't give a damn about anything.
* * * * *
The morning was fresh and bright, and Jake felt for a moment sitting out on his porch in the sunshine that there was nothing wrong. Jenny cooed up from the bassinet, gurgling and making noises at the brisk morning.
Jake felt the morning was deceiving him. The morning acted as though everything was fine. As though there was no ex-girlfriend bothering them. As though her intentions were all holy. Jake felt uneasy. What was Nikki really doing in town?
He had known her for a long time, and knew that she didn't just want to see Jenny. She wanted something more...
One thing was for sure...he would never allow Nikki and her cruel games to interfere with their lives. He couldn't stand the thought of Jenny growing up and having that witch for a mother. It wouldn't happen. Jenny was his, and always would be.
He shivered. It was unnerving, the way she had appeared out of the darkness. How she didn't look any different than she had six months ago...her dark eyes were still alluring, her lean frame tempting, her dark demeanor tantalizing...
He only felt bad for the poor guy that she was messing around with now. He doesn't know what he's getting himself into, Jake thought. If there was only some way that I could rewind to the point where I had never met her...I would have.
But you can't change the past...he thought miserably. All you can do is hope for a better future. Peyton's face flashed through his mind and he smiled in spite of himself. For a moment he sank into the memory of the previous night, when he had come home to fins her watching over Jenny. They had laughed together...he had been happier with her than he had with anyone else in months.
But no. It just wasn't possible. Things were too messy with her right now. He knew she was dealing with a Lucas-Brooke triangle right now. And she probably doesn't need you to complicate things...he told himself firmly.
Besides, it's not like you really like her...you just like hanging out with her. And she probably doesn't even like you anyways. No big deal.
Only the thought didn't comfort him. He frowned.
He really wanted to see her again, although he wasn't sure what he wanted to see her as. Did he really want to get involved with Peyton? Besides the fact that she had a lot on her plate at the moment, it wasn't the best of times for him either. It seemed that he only had enough room in his life for one girl right now, and that was foremost Jenny.
He picked her up out of her crib and held her, smiling as her eyes opened wide.
"Hey angel." Jenny gurgled and grabbed his fingers, trying to suck on them. "Don't you worry, sweetie. You are my number one girl. You always will be. You're all I need..."
But Peyton's smile didn't leave his mind all morning.
*****
There was a patch of sunlight dancing across Lucas's face as groaned and opened his eyes slowly, allowing the dazzling light to jar him to his senses. He shivered a bit, and pulled the covers up around his bare body.
Something was wrong. He looked around his room. His clothes were in a pile on his floor, next to a paper bag that looked as though it had alcohol in it. There was a bottle of Bacardi sitting next to his bed, half empty, and another empty bottle had rolled under the bed. He rubbed his eyes as he came to terms with the fact that he didn't remember anything from the previous night.
He was alone his bed, which was good. Or was it? He didn't know. He stumbled out of bed and pulled on some shorts, and headed down the hall for a shower. He wasn't thinking clearly yet, but there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind.
What had happened last night? It scared him that couldn't remember. He didn't think he had ever been so drunk that he couldn't remember anything. He thought hard. What was the last thing I can remember?
Soft blonde curls, questioning eyes, a soft kiss...followed by a more passionate one...
His thoughts jammed up as though this singular thought had stopped everything. Did I sleep with Peyton? He wondered. But where was she? He rubbed his eyes in confusion and got out of the shower. He dried quickly, trying to think.
He made his way around the house, making sure that there wasn't anyone there. He went back to his room and picked up the phone. He was about to dial Peyton's number when he slammed the phone down again.
He couldn't call her. What if it hadn't been her? Then she would know that he had been with another girl...but had he? It wasn't Brooke...it couldn't be...unless...?
Dialing Brooke's number, he sat impatiently, tapping his foot.
"Hello?" Her voice was groggy and tired.
"Hey Brooke. It's Lucas."
"Oh."
Lucas felt relieved. That was most definitely a no. She sounded pissed off. Which meant that she was still mad at him. Which meant that they most definitely didn't do anything last night. Unless... "Hey, I was wondering how you were. What have you been up to?"
"Nothing." Her voice was curt.
"So what did you do last night?"
"What the hell is this? Are you going to be some jealous exboyfriend all of the sudden? I was out, okay? Is that okay? God, like it's any of your business."
"I'm sorry-"
"Like hell you are." The phone went dead.
Lucas felt drained and frustrated. He had the worst headache he had ever had, a mystery woman that he might have slept with and had no idea of how to find her, two girls that probably hate his guts right now, and to top it all off, he felt sick to his stomach.
"Peachy." He said dryly to his empty room. He was just now realizing how completely trashed his room was. The books from his desk were on the floor, his mattress was practically hanging off its frame, his curtains were half open, his computer...
His computer! Had Peyton seen the whole thing? Stunned by this unexpected thought, Lucas lept from his bedside to the computer. His web cam wasn't on. Nor was hers. He sat back down with a heavy sigh, disappointed not to see her face on the screen.
Although it's a good thing that she didn't see you last night with...whoever. It must have been one hell of a night, by the looks of things.
Somehow he felt as though he hadn't slept with Peyton. Something in his gut was telling him that it was just wishful thinking. He sighed. Why couldn't he stop thinking about her?
"Screw it all." He had come to a quick conclusion. Effortless, painless...He had finally found the answer. He just wasn't going to care.
His heart hurt at his next thought, but he simply stood and started to dress, ignoring the empty feeling in his stomach.
I don't need Peyton. I just have to stop thinking about her. Screw her. Better yet, screw the world. People suck.