Chapter 7
A half an hour after his meeting with Kaiba, Yugi stormed into his Grandpa's shop, stomped upstairs to his room, and slammed the door so hard it splintered. He took the Millenium Puzzle out of his pack and put it on.
OKAY, SPILL IT! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!?
~ It's simple, Yugi. I've a perfectly reasonable explanation.~
YAMI, YOU TRIED TO KILL MY POTENTIAL GIRLFRIEND! YOUR EXPLANATION HAD BETTER BE BETTER THAN 'REASONABLE!
~ Of COURSE it's good.~
Well… okay. I'll give you a chance. But this had better be REALLY REALLY good.
~ She's evil.~
THAT is your explanation?!
~ Think about it! My losing streak began when she came to town. ~
That's called 'coincidence'.
~ Plus, she's got you acting all weird. ~
How so?!
~ Well, you're so attracted to her, but you're gay. ~
I AM NOT GAY!
~Whatever. In any event, since she just came to town and you like her, it's obvious the only way to end my losing streak is to kill her.~
There. Yami had said it. Yugi was incredulous. Yami was normally pretty level-headed, but he sounded like he honestly believed he could end his problems by splitting Laryssa's head open with an ice pick.
Yami… I think the stress of this whole situation has gotten to you.
~ What makes you think that?~
You're blaming your problem on a girl from England who has nothing to do with anything, and you're trying to make ME kill her.
~ And what's strange about that? ~
Yami, that clinches it. You need some time off, and I can't risk going to jail for first degree murder. I'm… Yugi took a deep breath. I'm leaving your puzzle home tomorrow.
~ … … … You… you're not serious, are you? You're… leaving the Millenium Puzzle at home? ~
I'm sorry, Yami, but you need some time to calm down. I don't want to kill anyone, even if it's technically YOU killing them. I'll put you back on as soon as school ends.
~ Yugi… friend… think of what you're saying here. You're just gonna leave me here? Alone? I live in a room in a tiny little puzzle! What am I gonna do all day? ~
Whatever it is, it WON'T be murder.
Yami started sobbing uncontrollably.
Oh, shut up. It's just for tomorrow, and I'll leave the T.V. on for you.
~A-alright… JUST GO OFF TO YOUR SCHOOL AND DIE, YOU STINKING TRAITOR!~ Yami roared suddenly.
Yugi sighed loudly, took the golden pyramid off, and put it on his nightstand.
Eight and a half hours later…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Yugi sat up with a jolt. He had been asleep, but then he had heard what sounded like Kaiba yelling, and loud enough to be inside his own room. He looked around, and Kaiba was nowhere nearby…
Grandpa slammed open the door. "Yugi, did you by any chance hear that Kaiba kid?"
"Uh, yeah. But he's not here… it must have been a fluke. Some kind of new rap music or something."
"Ah. Well, as long as I'm not insane. Oh, by the way, I found this outside your door." Grandpa said. He threw the object onto Yugi's bed, turned, and left.
It was a letter, which Yugi opened. It read
Dear Yugi,
My, that Kaiba boy has quite a set of lungs, doesn't he? Yes, that WAS him you heard screaming a few moments ago, from his mansion several miles outside your town. It seems that his tournament may be postponed, but I just wanted to inform you my 'Schedule of Revenge' will be continuing as planned, regardless. See you in two days.
Sayonara,
Maximillion Pegasus
CEO Industrial Illusions
"HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!" Yugi roared.
***
As Yugi walked to school the next day, the familiar weight of the Millenium Puzzle gone from around his neck, he started humming a little tune. Life was GRAND! He had a girlfriend, and pals, and he didn't have a maniac who could take over his body hanging around his neck. Suddenly his good mood was interrupted when a generic looking man in a suit and a pair of sunglasses stepped out of the bushes in front of him.
"Yugi Motoh? My employer, Seto Kaiba, would like to have a word with you."
"Do I have to? I really need to get to school…"
"GET HIM!" The man shouted as he charged forward.
Eleven similar looking men dropped out of the tree above poor Yugi and began severely beating him. They then stuffed him in a burlap sack and ran off toward KaibaCorp with the sacked Yugi in tow.
***
The men dumped Yugi on the floor in front of Seto Kaiba's desk. Yugi immediately could discern something was wrong… Kaiba had a half empty bottle in his hand, and about twenty empty ones were piled off to the side. He was slumped over his desk like a man who had no reason to go on living.
"Yugi." He said calmly, his voice slightly slurred. Yugi could smell the alcohol on his breath from ten feet away. "Y'know, Yugi, just when you think you have it all… money, power, fame, good looks, genius, charisma, talent…"
"Okay, I get it!" Yugi said
quickly. Once Kaiba started talking
about himself, getting him to shut up was an all day chore. "What's the problem?"
"… like I was saying, you just
think you have it all. And then you
have-" He made a '0' with his left hand.
"-Zip." He finished. He took a
swig from the bottle in his hand, draining it.
He tossed it in the pile, and pulled another from the cooler on the
other side of his desk.
"Kaiba… what's wrong? Why are you acting like this? And what in the name of heaven and hell are you DRINKING? You smell like a distillery!"
Kaiba held the bottle up for inspection:
Uncle Bob's Pure Grain AlcoholSince 1860
WARNING: Not intended for use as a beverage
"Um… Kaiba… isn't pure grain alcohol poisonous?"
"Whatever. What matters here, Yugi, is that the most important thing in the world to me is gone. Vanished. Missing." His voice dropped to a bloodthirsty hiss. "STOLEN."
"Mokuba is GONE?!"
"Not Mokuba, you stupid bastard! MY DECK!"
"Your… deck?"
"GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW! I KNOW YOU TOOK IT, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN JEALOUS! GIVE IT BACK OR I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Then he calmed down. "No, it couldn't have been you."
"It's nice you trust me enough to know I wouldn't rob you, Kaiba. I like to think we've shared a mutual respect to go along with our rivalry and…"
"I don't trust you, but you're too short to have reached the lock without making enough noise to wake me up. That's why I haven't bothered to have Mokuba tortured yet, he's even shorter that you are."
That shut Yugi up. "… oh."
Kaiba now looked on the verge of tears. "Yugi, what kind of sadistic monster would do this? What kind of vile, blood-sucking fiend would take my Rude Kaiser? My Battle Ox? My Saggi the Dark Clown? My bl… my bl… my… my… my…"
"Blue Eyes White Dragons?"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kaiba buried his head in his arms and began crying like a baby.
"Um… I think you can leave now." One of the men in suits informed Yugi. He didn't need any encouragement, and he was soon on the elevator. He stepped off in the lobby… and into a dream.
There, waiting, was one hell of a woman. If Laryssa was an angel, then she was the devil… and made going to hell look like a good thing. She was wearing a leather mini-skirt, and thigh-high leather boots. On the TOP half of her body, she only had a few carefully positioned black leather straps.
Yugi tried hard to say something, but his mouth just sort of hung open stupidly. Interestingly, the first thing he thought was She has really nice shoulders.
Really? His mind answered, sounding slightly hysterical. Hee, hee, I hadn't noticed.
He was so distracted that he didn't even notice who she was until she said: "Well, hi, Yugi. Wasn't expecting to run into you here."
"MAI?!" He shouted, recognizing the voice. His eyes shot up from her… assets… and up to her face, which he just realized he hadn't taken a good look at. It was indeed Mai. "I… I… I… I… I… Um, hi. Waaaaaaaaaait… YOU'RE HERE FOR THE GOD DAMNED TOURNAMENT!"
She winked. "Only partially. Ten million dollars is pocket change compared to the money that 'Mrs. Kaiba' would have access to."
"… You're here to marry Kaiba? Well, you should know he's kind of… despondent. His deck was stolen."
"THIS IS GREAT! I'll nurse him out of his sadness, and I won't even have to seduce him!"
"He's drunk."
"Even better!" Mai got into the elevator and headed for the top floor, whistling jauntily.
Yugi blinked a few times, and started walking home. Screw school, he needed a cold shower.
!!