Chapter 9
Yugi walked back into the Game Shop, to find a familiar silver haired figure waiting for him. Far from being Pegasus, it was good ol' Bakura... probably even worse, when you think about it. Judging by the Millenium Ring hanging around his neck when it shouldn't be there, a lot worse.
Yugi formed a cross with his fingers. "BACK! Back, evil spirit! The power of Christ repels thee!" *Just when you thought it was safe to leave your Yami in your bedroom... the stairs aren't that far away, can I make it to the puzzle before Bakura's psycho spirit kills me?*
Bakura raised his hands placatingly. "Yugi, I'm not evil, I swear."
Yugi started edging toward the stairs. "If you aren't controlled by your evil spirit, then why are you in my house during school hours?"
"Oh, well, the author realized he was already on chapter nine and I hadn't even made a cameo yet! To make up for that, I'm going to be in every chapter from now on, even the ones about Kaiba!"
"Wow. How are you going to manage that? Kaiba doesn't even really know you."
"Oh, I'll find a way. I'm really good at that sort of thing. You know, like when you were looking for Pegasus after your duel, I got to him first although I never passed by you and had demonstrated no previous ability to teleport, and then got out of the room through the only entrance without anyone seeing me?"
"True, true. Well, good luck. You're certain you aren't evil?"
"Oh, no. I have complete control over my ring now. DIE! I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOUL AND USE YOUR FEEBLE POWERS TO ENHANCE MY OWN! YOUR PUZZLE WILL HANG FROM MY NECK AND GIVE ME THE POWERS OF A GOD!" Bakura roared this last in the low, raspy voice of his Yami. (Who will be referred to as Evil Bakura. I don't know why, I just can't think of him as Yami Bakura. Whenever I see him, I think 'Evil Bakura'.)
"Complete control?"
"Ha! As if this worthless insect could ever control me! My powers are without limit, and I shall destroy you utterly and claim your Millenium item!" Evil Bakura ranted. "I will... I... will... oh, dear. So I don't have 'complete' control." Bakura admitted.
"Whatever. Say... your evil spirit has a lot of experience with ancient magic, right? My Yami seems to need tune-up or something, and I thought maybe yours could actually say something helpful in between all those homicidal threats and promises of world conquest."
"Well, sort of. He knows what the magic does, but usually can't figure out how to use it..."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's really best explained by a flashback."
"Oh, come on, do we really have to do-"
Flashback:
Evil Bakura: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The almighty Millenium Eye is finally MINE! Now I will use its powers to greatly enhance my own, allowing me to read my opponent's every thought!
(Silence. Several seconds pass, as Evil Bakura looks expectantly at the Eye.)
Bakura: (Inside the Millenium Ring) You haven't the foggiest idea what to do with it, do you?
E. Bakura: Of course I do!
Bakura: Well, do it then.
(Silence. A cricket chirps in the distance)
Bakura: HA! I knew it!
E. Bakura: Silence! It's obvious! Pegasus wore it in his eye, so you just jam it in!
Bakura: WHAT?! Don't you dare!
(Ignoring him, evil Bakura drives the Millenium Eye into his right eye.)
E. Bakura: (Clutching his right eye, which is bleeding. The Millenium Eye lies on the floor, covered in pieces of Bakura's eyeball) MY EYE! MY )(#*%@#)% EYE! THAT HURTS LIKE )(#*)%(*#)%* HELL! OH GOD @#)(%*@#)%* THIS @)(#*)#% EYE!
Bakura: (Spiritually winces) That looks painful.
E. Bakura: NO #)(*$! I JUST GOUGED MY )@#($*#)(* EYE OUT! Waiiiiiiit... Pegasus always wore it in his left eye!
Bakura: Oh, god...
(Evil Bakura drives the Millenium Eye into his left eye socket.)
E. Bakura: OH @#(*%&#(%&, THAT #(*%&(@#%& HURTS LIKE #()*%#%! I'M BLIND! I'M #$%@)%(&* )#@(*@#)$* )@#$(ing BLIND!
Bakura: (Reproachful) That's generally what happens when you drive a big metal thing into both of your eyes.
E. Bakura: NO, IT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME (@#%*&@#( INVINCIBLE!
Bakura: If you had the slightest idea how to use it, maybe.
E. Bakura: I DO KNOW HOW TO @#)(%*# USE IT!
Bakura: If that were true, you'd be... how did you put it? "(@#%*&@#( INVINCIBLE!" (Said in a passable impression of his Evil Bakura's voice)
E. Bakura: (Defeated, and in a great deal of pain) ::Sigh:: I guess you're right. Maybe I can use it for a coaster or something...
End Flashback:
"-This?" Yugi finished.
"Yes, we did." Bakura replied in a superior tone. "You see, my Yami knows what the magic does, but leave him alone with it, and he starts driving it into his eyeballs. He's hopeless at figuring out how to use the damn things."
"Well, knowing what it is would still be a step up from what we've got now, which is nothing." Yugi admitted.
Yugi went upstairs and put on the puzzle. Then (I know you've all been waiting for THIS)...
"YU-GI-OH!" In that whole unnecessarily flashy sequence, Yugi transformed into his alter ego, and Yami Yugi walked down the stairs, where Bakura had likewise let his Yami out.
"Okay, Grave Robber," Yami said, holding the puzzle out. "Do you have any idea what's wrong with me?"
Evil Bakura took one look at the puzzle, and fell to the floor, laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. "MWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh... oh... ohohOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Do I... do I... do I EVER know what it is! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"WELL?!"
"It's an ancient Egyptian curse. There's no real translation, but the closest would be 'Game Over'. It takes whatever you're best at, the one thing you take the most pride in... and makes you totally incapable of succeeding at it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"... When does it wear off?" Yami asked in a dead sort of voice.
"IT DOESN'T! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"How do I get rid of it?"
"... You could try ramming that puzzle into your eye. That's what I usually do in these situations."
"... it never wears off, and the only person who knows what it is has no idea how to get rid of it."
Evil Bakura chuckled. "I hope you like playing solitaire, because you're never going to win a duel again."
Yugi walked back into the Game Shop, to find a familiar silver haired figure waiting for him. Far from being Pegasus, it was good ol' Bakura... probably even worse, when you think about it. Judging by the Millenium Ring hanging around his neck when it shouldn't be there, a lot worse.
Yugi formed a cross with his fingers. "BACK! Back, evil spirit! The power of Christ repels thee!" *Just when you thought it was safe to leave your Yami in your bedroom... the stairs aren't that far away, can I make it to the puzzle before Bakura's psycho spirit kills me?*
Bakura raised his hands placatingly. "Yugi, I'm not evil, I swear."
Yugi started edging toward the stairs. "If you aren't controlled by your evil spirit, then why are you in my house during school hours?"
"Oh, well, the author realized he was already on chapter nine and I hadn't even made a cameo yet! To make up for that, I'm going to be in every chapter from now on, even the ones about Kaiba!"
"Wow. How are you going to manage that? Kaiba doesn't even really know you."
"Oh, I'll find a way. I'm really good at that sort of thing. You know, like when you were looking for Pegasus after your duel, I got to him first although I never passed by you and had demonstrated no previous ability to teleport, and then got out of the room through the only entrance without anyone seeing me?"
"True, true. Well, good luck. You're certain you aren't evil?"
"Oh, no. I have complete control over my ring now. DIE! I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOUL AND USE YOUR FEEBLE POWERS TO ENHANCE MY OWN! YOUR PUZZLE WILL HANG FROM MY NECK AND GIVE ME THE POWERS OF A GOD!" Bakura roared this last in the low, raspy voice of his Yami. (Who will be referred to as Evil Bakura. I don't know why, I just can't think of him as Yami Bakura. Whenever I see him, I think 'Evil Bakura'.)
"Complete control?"
"Ha! As if this worthless insect could ever control me! My powers are without limit, and I shall destroy you utterly and claim your Millenium item!" Evil Bakura ranted. "I will... I... will... oh, dear. So I don't have 'complete' control." Bakura admitted.
"Whatever. Say... your evil spirit has a lot of experience with ancient magic, right? My Yami seems to need tune-up or something, and I thought maybe yours could actually say something helpful in between all those homicidal threats and promises of world conquest."
"Well, sort of. He knows what the magic does, but usually can't figure out how to use it..."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's really best explained by a flashback."
"Oh, come on, do we really have to do-"
Flashback:
Evil Bakura: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The almighty Millenium Eye is finally MINE! Now I will use its powers to greatly enhance my own, allowing me to read my opponent's every thought!
(Silence. Several seconds pass, as Evil Bakura looks expectantly at the Eye.)
Bakura: (Inside the Millenium Ring) You haven't the foggiest idea what to do with it, do you?
E. Bakura: Of course I do!
Bakura: Well, do it then.
(Silence. A cricket chirps in the distance)
Bakura: HA! I knew it!
E. Bakura: Silence! It's obvious! Pegasus wore it in his eye, so you just jam it in!
Bakura: WHAT?! Don't you dare!
(Ignoring him, evil Bakura drives the Millenium Eye into his right eye.)
E. Bakura: (Clutching his right eye, which is bleeding. The Millenium Eye lies on the floor, covered in pieces of Bakura's eyeball) MY EYE! MY )(#*%@#)% EYE! THAT HURTS LIKE )(#*)%(*#)%* HELL! OH GOD @#)(%*@#)%* THIS @)(#*)#% EYE!
Bakura: (Spiritually winces) That looks painful.
E. Bakura: NO #)(*$! I JUST GOUGED MY )@#($*#)(* EYE OUT! Waiiiiiiit... Pegasus always wore it in his left eye!
Bakura: Oh, god...
(Evil Bakura drives the Millenium Eye into his left eye socket.)
E. Bakura: OH @#(*%&#(%&, THAT #(*%&(@#%& HURTS LIKE #()*%#%! I'M BLIND! I'M #$%@)%(&* )#@(*@#)$* )@#$(ing BLIND!
Bakura: (Reproachful) That's generally what happens when you drive a big metal thing into both of your eyes.
E. Bakura: NO, IT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME (@#%*&@#( INVINCIBLE!
Bakura: If you had the slightest idea how to use it, maybe.
E. Bakura: I DO KNOW HOW TO @#)(%*# USE IT!
Bakura: If that were true, you'd be... how did you put it? "(@#%*&@#( INVINCIBLE!" (Said in a passable impression of his Evil Bakura's voice)
E. Bakura: (Defeated, and in a great deal of pain) ::Sigh:: I guess you're right. Maybe I can use it for a coaster or something...
End Flashback:
"-This?" Yugi finished.
"Yes, we did." Bakura replied in a superior tone. "You see, my Yami knows what the magic does, but leave him alone with it, and he starts driving it into his eyeballs. He's hopeless at figuring out how to use the damn things."
"Well, knowing what it is would still be a step up from what we've got now, which is nothing." Yugi admitted.
Yugi went upstairs and put on the puzzle. Then (I know you've all been waiting for THIS)...
"YU-GI-OH!" In that whole unnecessarily flashy sequence, Yugi transformed into his alter ego, and Yami Yugi walked down the stairs, where Bakura had likewise let his Yami out.
"Okay, Grave Robber," Yami said, holding the puzzle out. "Do you have any idea what's wrong with me?"
Evil Bakura took one look at the puzzle, and fell to the floor, laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. "MWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh... oh... ohohOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Do I... do I... do I EVER know what it is! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"WELL?!"
"It's an ancient Egyptian curse. There's no real translation, but the closest would be 'Game Over'. It takes whatever you're best at, the one thing you take the most pride in... and makes you totally incapable of succeeding at it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"... When does it wear off?" Yami asked in a dead sort of voice.
"IT DOESN'T! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"How do I get rid of it?"
"... You could try ramming that puzzle into your eye. That's what I usually do in these situations."
"... it never wears off, and the only person who knows what it is has no idea how to get rid of it."
Evil Bakura chuckled. "I hope you like playing solitaire, because you're never going to win a duel again."