Chapter 10

           Kaiba was a broken, drunk, despondent wreck of a man. 

          And yet he'd never felt such hope.  Ten million dollars!  Just for returning a few cards!  Of course, since the person who took them would probably be the one to return them, he would expose whomever returned the deck to tortures that most mortals could only dream of.  But still, surely they would return the cards for that much money. 

          And in any event, he'd let himself get too riled up by this.  He had a company to run, and he'd forgotten the #1 rule of being an evil industrialist: let your money do the talking.  If he'd held on to his evil instead of letting himself get wrapped up in utter despair, he would have offered a huge reward the moment the deck was stolen.  The fact that his executive board, who had been specially picked to avoid independent thought, had thought of it first meant that he had lost control to a level that was inexcusable. 

          Not to mention women tended to dislike drunken, unshaven slobs, who cried like babies whenever someone mentioned the bl… bl… bl… certain dragon cards. 

          So it was that Kaiba began to put his life back to together.  After another bottle to help numb the soul wrenching pain.

          "You know, Mai, I've let all this get to me.  I've got billions of dollars to manage, and I've just been letting them do whatever they want.  If you want to keep money, you've got to be diligent with it!"

          Mai batted her eyelashes becomingly.  "Or marry someone who has more of it, Seto sweetie."

          "I… um… I… time to work!" he said nervously, running over to his computer and typing furiously.

          "Now, now, Seto darling, there's no need for that RIGHT this minute, is there?" Mai said, sitting in his lap. 

          Even a drunk couldn't miss a sign that obvious.  Kaiba tried to say something suave, but his vocal cords didn't seem to work.  For a billionaire, he had surprisingly little skill in the woman department.

          "Oh, I'm sorry, have I come at a bad time?" A polite British voice inquired.  Mai (looking irritated) and Kaiba (looking a cross between disappointed and relieved) turned to the door to find Bakura standing there.

          Mai sighed, and stood up.

          Kaiba looked confused.  "Um… Bakura, right?  No offense, but how'd you get in here?"

          "Oh, the author wrote me in," Bakura said cheerfully.  "I have to be in all of the chapters from now on."

          "… okay."

          "HA!" Evil Bakura roared.  "As if your feeble human security could keep out one such as myself!  You have no conception of whom you are dealing with, you puny mortal dolt!"  his features shifted back to his far kinder counterpart.  "Oh, dear.  Sorry about that."

          Kaiba looked Bakura over appraisingly.  "You know, you're exceptionally creepy."

          "Yeah, sorry about that."

          "No, no, that's good!  We have an opening for a sales executive, would you like the job?"

          "What exactly would be my duties?" Bakura asked, sounding interested.  Like most of Yugi's acquaintances, Bakura was a leech on society.  A chance at a real, paying job was an opportunity most of them couldn't ignore.

          "Basically, you go to rich people and talk them into buying big, expensive things that they don't want or need from our company.  With someone as creepy as you, they'll probably buy something just to make you go away!"

          "… hmmmm, an interesting opportunity!  I had no idea mortals had such superb responsibilities!" Evil Bakura mused.  "How much does the position pay?"

          Kaiba shrugged.  "Oh, I'm not into all that bookkeeping and accounting.  Every week or so, I'll just give you a giant bag of money and call that your paycheck, okay?"

            ~Heh, heh, heh… with such wealth, I could easily track down all the millenium items, in addition to being able to buy snack cakes whenever I wish!  It will make this mortal existence almost worth bearing!  Bakura, we will accept immediately!~ Evil Bakura thought to his counterpart.

          Bakura cocked his head to one side, as if listening to someone talking.  "Yes, we'll do it!" He announced cheerfully after a moment.

          "… … … 'we'll'?"

          "Myself, of course, and him!" Bakura said, pointing at the Ring.

          "… Yes, I think you'll do just fine," Kaiba said, filled with the satisfaction of a deal well made.  He reached into his trenchcoat and removed a bag of money the size of a watermelon.  "Here's your first paycheck.  You start right now.  Get out there and sell, sell, sell!  Oh, and remember our slogan:  'KaibaCorp., the world's leaders in holographic technology… and also a large, powerful corporation that knows where you live.'"

          Bakura set off into the exciting world of sales.  God help us all.

          "Now, dear, where were we?" Mai purred.

          "Um… I… Um… I… Um… I forget?" Kaiba squeaked.

          Mai licked her lips.  "I think I remember…"

          "SIR!" board member #4 ran into the room.  Mai practically screamed in frustration.  Oh, so close…

          "Y-yes?" Kaiba asked, shaking his head in an attempt to get blood into it again. 

          "We've found someone who claims to have found your deck!"

          "WHAT?!  BRING HIM IN IMMEDIATELY!" Kaiba roared, snapping back to reality. 

          Two KaibaCorp. guards dragged a small figure in a green coat into the room. He had obviously just been beaten up severely, his glasses hanging off his bruised and bloodied face.  It was none other than Weevil. 

          As he was brought into the room, one of the guards shook his head.  "Sorry President Kaiba, but it's a false alarm.  This little freak tried to give us a fake deck… really convincing one too.  But as per your orders, we gave the cards a thorough molecular scan, and the Blue Eyes White…" seeing Kaiba's expression after the first three words, the guard paused to consider his next words.  "… things… were definitely forgeries.  We brought him to you as soon as we were sure."

          Kaiba grimaced.  So close.  So, so close.  And all of it, ruined, gone, destroyed by this little, little, little… THING!  Well, I'll teach HIM, show HIM what happens when you screw with SETO KAIBA!

          "Weevil… little friend, I'm ashamed of you.  I always thought you an intelligent, if somewhat overly fond of disgusting crawly things, duelist.  Tell me, did you really think you'd get away with this?" Kaiba asked in an icy tone. 

          "I'm sorry!  I'm so sorry, sir, I'll leave and never come back, just don't hurt me!" Weevil whined.       

          "Ah, but Weevil, there is ONE way you can redeem yourself.  It won't get you any money, but you can leave, scot free.  Do you, or do you not, know where my deck actually is?"

          "No, no I swear!"

          Kaiba sighed deeply.  "Take him to the company municipal torture facilitation center.  Keep him there until the deck is returned."

          "NOOOOOOOO!" Weevil screamed.  "NOT THE COMPANY MUNICIPAL TORTURE FACILITATION CENTER!  ANYTHING BUT THE COMPANY MUNICIPAL TORTURE FACILITATION CENTER!  HAVE MERCY, PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE MERCY!"

          As the two guards dragged Weevil off, one of them kicked him.  "Ah, shut up you little maggot.  President Kaiba COULD have sent you to the company mandatory life removal center, and where would you be then?  Be happy you got off light."

          Mai raised an eyebrow.  " 'Company municipal torture facilitation center'?"

          Kaiba shrugged.  "What can I say?  It's really hard to be evil in this world of flowery corporate language.  Is there anything else, number four?"

          "No, sir.  That was the only lead we've gotten so far…" he stopped and noted the look in Kaiba's eyes.  "Is there something wrong, sir?"

          "Just thinking, number four, that desperate times call for desperate measures,"

          #4 gulped.  "Not… th-th-them?"

          "Yes, I think so."

          "But, sir, it's such a nice day, and I think we might have forgotten to feed them last week, and-"

          "No, my mind's made up.  It's time to put them on the job."

          Mai raised her hand.  "Who, praytell, are 'them'?"

          #4 had gone deathly white.  "The S.S.S.S.S.S."

          Kaiba kicked in a hidden drawer on his desk and took out two keys.  He gave one to #4, and headed off towards the elevators.  #4 reluctantly followed.  Mai shrugged, and took off behind them.

WHAT is the mysterious S.S.S.S.S.S?  WHEN will Mai get Kaiba alone for long enough to seduce him?  WHO will survive Bakura's stint as a Sales Executive?  Find out the answers to these questions and more… well, not NEXT chapter since it's about Yugi.  But the chapter after that, sure. 

!!