Chapter 14

          In the KaibaCorp. main lobby, the clock rang chiming 2:00 in the afternoon.  Suddenly, the wall started moving.  A section of it burst out, revealed to be a hidden door, and Yugi, broken, bruised, and bleeding, popped out of it.  Attached to his leg and trying to drag him back in was a rat the size of a doberman pinscher.  He was frantically beating it with a rusty length of pipe, screaming "BACK!  BACK FOUL BEAST!  BACK TO THE PIT THAT SPAWNED THEE!" Finally managing to get it off his leg, he frantically pushed on the heavy secret door, shoving it closed on the second rat that was coming up right behind the one he'd just fought off.

          Exhausted, Yugi collapsed to the ground.  He'd never been so happy to be in the KaibaCorp. lobby before.  The receptionist looked impressed that he was still alive. 

          The S.S.S.S.S.S galloped by, dragging a loudly protesting Rex Raptor.

          Yugi started for the door, using the pipe as a walking stick.  He really wanted a nap.

                                                  ***

          Yugi hobbled in the front door of the game shop, fully prepared to finally go to sleep after a very long, strenuous day. 

          When he walked in, Malik and Evil Bakura were sitting across from each other, staring into space and not making the slightest noise.  Neither one of them was blinking, and neither appeared to breathe.  Yugi turned to Rebecca, who was wearing his bathrobe and his slippers (At 2:00 in the afternoon) and watching T.V.

          "Um… Rebecca… what exactly are they doing?"

          "Them?  I have no idea.  They had a big conversation after you left, and they haven't made a sound since then.  Something about the first season of Yu-Gi-Oh?"

~Ah, of course!  I remember playing this game!~
Really?  I don't remember it…

~Well, that was back when you didn't remember anything I did, and I was rather brutally violent and pretty much killed anyone who lost a game to me.  Ah, those were the days… too bad they never aired in the U.S…~

Okay… so what are they doing?

~Well… and this is NOT one of my better ideas… you basically sit and stare at the opponent, and the first person to make a noise loses.  I originally came up with it to play with a psychotic karaoke singer…~

… … … … … … Y'know, I'm sort of glad I don't remember much of that season.  Now, can we go to bed?

~No!  If we have to duel Pegasus, then you have to train!  Now get to work, you slacker!~

Yami, for the last time, you cannot train for a card game!

~… … FINE.  I'll just have to take matters into my own hands.~ Yami thought.  Taking control of their shared body, he stalked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and removed a very familiar bottle:

Uncle Bob's Pure Grain Alcohol

Since 1860

WARNING: Not intended for use as a beverage

YAMI!  What are you DOING?!  I'm not old enough to drink! 

~No, but I am.  I have less than a day to live, and I would like to spend that time in a drunken stupor, thank you very much.~

But… but… but… I wouldn't!!!!!

~Tough, kid.~  Yami thought coldly, and slugged down the bottle.  He reached into the fridge for another.

                                        ***

Tea Gardner poked her head into the game shop entrance.  "Hellooooo?  Yugi?  You in here?"  she asked, looking around.  She hadn't seen Yugi in days, and she was getting a little worried about the poor kid.  Knowledge of impending doom could be quite a burden on a high schooler.  And besides, ever since Joey and Tristan had been hospitalized (They fell off a building or something) she had absolutely nobody to talk to.

The first thing she saw was (obviously) Evil Bakura and Malik Ishtar engaged in some sort of strange staring contest.  The second was Rebecca Hawkins curled up on the couch like she owned it. 

The third was Yugi slouched on the floor in the kitchen next to a massive pile of empty bottles.

"OH MY GOD!  Yugi, what are you DOING?!  You're WAAAAAAAY to young to be drinking!"

"::hic::!  Oh, hi Tea.  You see, I wasn't drinking, it was this guy here." Yugi said, pointing at himself.

"Oh.  Yami, huh?"

"Wow, you sure are ::hic:: smart.  And pretty, too.  Have I ever told you you're my favoritest person in the whole world?  More than Joey, and Tristan, and Grandpa, and Kaiba, and the Mailman, and the Butcher, and…"

Tea, seeing no other options, pulled back her hand and smacked Yugi in the face with all the force she could muster.

Yugi said, "Thanks.  I needed that.  Now, where was I?  Oh yeah.  Yami…" he dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "Is DRUNK.  He passed out in the soul room a few minutes ago.  I think the soul room is ::hic:: really funny!  I mean really, a soul isn't something you can just pick up and move, like oh, a duck, but I've got a room to put it in, just the same, isn't that funny?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…"

::SMACK!::

"Thanks, I needed that.  Y'see, Yami is really despondent, 'cause we've got about, oh, what time is it?" Yugi turned to look at a chair.  "fifty o'clock?  Well we've got not a lot of ::hic:: time.  So he wants to get drunk for it."  Yugi began crying helplessly.  "WHY, TEA?!  WHY ME?!  WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS SITUATION?!  I HATE MY LIFE!  I JUST…"

::SMACK!::

"Thanks, I needed that.  So, anyhoo, Tea, ol' buddy ol' pal, I ::hic:: have got not a whole lot of time left.  When I DIE tomorrow, I want you…" he pointed to the air a foot to Tea's left, "… to get out.  Escape.  Skedaddle.  All three of you."

"You mean me, Joey, and Tristan?"

"No, I don't care what happens to them.  I mean all three of you Teas… wait, there's five of you!  No, seven!    AHHHHHHH!  THERE'S AN ARMY OF TEA!  SHE'S MULTIPLYING!  HAAAAAAAAAALP!  HAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL…"

::SMACK!::

"Thanks, I needed that.  Anyway, you ::hic:: take all the money you need from my grandpa, and go somewhere safe, like Mars.  I just want to make sure that, when I'm gone my true love will be safe…"

Oh… oh my god!  Yugi is finally admitting his love for me!  And just as he's about to go off to face his doom!  This is so romantic, just like a fairy tale!  I… I'm so happy!  We're all going to probably die to tomorrow, and yet my heart feels like it's flying!  I love you, Yugi!  Tea thought, her eyes sparkling and a content smile on her face.  She looked positively angelic.  "Yugi, I…" she began.

"… so be sure that when you leave, take Laryssa Colimina with you." Yugi finished.

Tea saw her hopes and dreams crumple into a ball and die in a blazing inferno.

"L-laryssa Colimina?  The exchange student?"

"Yeah ::hic::.  I know we just met, but there's this chemistry… I just know she's the one.  She's the only girl I've ever really enjoyed spending time with… except for you, my good friend Tea!"

The word 'friend' echoed over and over in Tea's mind, like a chorus.  It mocked her feelings, and stomped all over the shards of her broken heart.

          "Yeah.  Sure.  Whatever." Tea said.  She then burst into tears and ran out the door crying.

          Yugi blinked.  "Now what ::hic:: was that all about?  Ooooooh, the world is so pretty when it spins…" 

          Then Yugi passed out. 

                                                            ***

          Yugi woke up on the kitchen floor with a tremendous migraine. 

          Ow… that's the last time I let the ancient spirit who shares my body go on a drinking binge…

          ~Yes, Yugi, it is.  It's the very last time.~  Yami thought in a dull, dead sort of voice. 

          Huh?

          ~Yugi, look at the clock.~

          Yugi, filled with dread, looked at the clock set on the wall.  It was digital, and very bright, so he didn't even need to strain his fuzzy vision to see the time:

          5:00 A.M.

          He had exactly five hours to live.

          Uh-oh.

                                                            ***

          Far, far away from Yugi and his troubles, at about the time he reached his first bottle of liquor, in the land of Egypt, Isis Ishtar stepped into the lair of her younger brother and his band of evil card thieves.  "Malik?  Malik!"  she shouted.  "You home?  I went shopping, and got some of those bagels you like… y'know, the cinnamon ones?  I figured you deserved a treat for not killing… anyone… recently… what's that smell?", she asked coldly, her nose picking up the distinct odor of rot. 

          Isis stormed through the hideouts rooms, opening every door and looking in every crevice in the search for the source of the odor.  She found it in the closet of the T.V. room, in the form of the Rare Hunter who'd been ticking Malik off earlier.  He was not a pretty sight, and I see no reason to go into details.

          Oh, that little jerk!  I KNEW it!  I just KNEW he was off killing people again, ruining the family name MORE as if he hasn't already done enough in that regard!  Why I bet right now he's off trying to steal Millenium items or kill Yami or something evil!  I TOLD that little bastard to stick to cards, and I meant it!  He is DEAD!  DEAD! She thought emphatically.  Okay, okay, calm down Isis!  Just calm down.  You're the regal, elegant, dignified female on the show, leave the ranting and shouting to Mai and Tea.  Just calm down… count to ten, that's what you're supposed to do when you get angry, isn't it?

          "One.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Five." She counted.  So far, so good.  "Six.  Seven." She thought about her insane, evil little brother.  "EIGHT." She thought about him out killing people and plundering the keys to world domination.  "NINE." She thought about him out killing people and plundering the keys to world domination AGAINST HER SPECIFIC ORDERS.  "TEN!  MALIK, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"  Isis roared to the empty lair. 

          She sprinted to the entrance and slammed it shut behind her.  She had to get to Domino.