Stay With Me

By: Allison

A/N: A very big thank you goes out to Laeta—my own personal SwM cheerleader. I think if I had waited longer to post, you would have come and tied me to my chair and forced me to finish this. I know you've waited a long time for this, so enjoy it. Angie—who bugged me almost as much as Laeta, thank you for the great beta work, you're awesome. Manda—Jid, my girl, I know I always thank you, but you always deserve it…thanks for all the support. Truly nothing gets done unless you're around. You've become as good a friend to me as anyone I've known in RL. This chapter's song is "Hold onto the Night" by Richard Marx

Chapter 10:  Am I Lost?

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// Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door
I saw you smile
And my mind could not erase the beauty of your face
Just for awhile
Won't you let me shelter you //

Grissom stood outside Catherine's room, as he waited for the doctor to finish examining her. It had been twenty minutes since he'd been rushed out of the room, despite both his and Catherine's objections. The waiting was making him nervous, the uncertainty of it all. He hated that feeling, the not knowing. It was one of the reasons he loved entomology. Unlike humans, bugs were predictable. They arrived at a corpse in a specific manner, and that manner, more often than not, enabled him to pinpoint cause of death, or location. There were no gray areas.

With a person, it was different. The human brain is complex. And in that complexity, allowed for a range of emotions, that could be expressed in thousands of ways.  No one person is alike; no emotion expressed the same way. When it came to reading people, on a scale of one to ten, he was about a negative twenty.

And that scared him.

As long as he'd known her, Catherine had always filled that void for him. She was good with people…no she was exceptional with them. He remembered during the Anderson case, how Catherine had come to relate to little Zach's mother… how she'd sympathized with her. He saw it in her eyes as she led Mrs. Anderson out of the prison.

She could read everyone. Seemed to form a bond with whomever she met, understood them.

He only really understood her. And sometimes he wasn't even sure of that. It seemed almost daily she threw him some sort of curve. Whether it was coming into his office to get an early glimpse at case assignments or just her showing up on the front steps of his town house after shift, alcohol in tow, ready to unwind. Some days he just never knew what Catherine was going to do next.

On other days, her desires, her thoughts, her feelings, couldn't be clearer. Sometimes she couldn't hide the bags under her eyes, even with carefully applied make-up. He wasn't sure she always wanted too. It was on those days that he offered to drive her home, or invited her to breakfast or for coffee. On the rare occasion they would end up at her house, he'd watch as she packed a lunch and hurried Lindsey off to her bus, collapsing into a heap on her beige, overstuffed couch, moments after the small child had left.

It seemed that Catherine stopped moving, only when she was good and ready. And he was one of the few people fortunate to see that side of her. For rarely was she ever able to show it in public.

// Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours.//

"Mr. Grissom?"

Shaking out of his thoughts, Grissom turned around, searching for the voice that had called for him. A nurse stood standing in the doorway, which he hadn't realized was opened, tapping her nails on the chart in her hand.

"You can go back in, now, if you'd like. She's asking for you."

"Thank you…. Nurse…" he squinted to see the name on her tag.

"Dantinelli." She offered, smiling.

"Thank you, nurse Dantinelli." He told her, smiling back in appreciation, as she walked away, bumping into Sara as she passed down the hall.

"Grissom! There you are, I've been looking for you, for an hour or so. Where've you been?"

"Here." He stated, matter-of-factly.

"Outside Catherine's room? Why?"

"I was waiting for Dr. Jameson, to finish examining Catherine… I'm about to go back in now."

Grissom met Cath's tired eyes as he made is his way back into the room. Perplexed, Sara followed, stopping in the doorway, her curiosity turning to shock.

"Oh Sara, can you tell the others that Catherine's awake? I'm sure they'll want to know."

"Sure, Gris," she nodded in agreement, chuckling to herself as she exited. She wondered if Grissom realized how bad his tunnel vision, in regards to Catherine, really was.

// How do we explain something that took us by surprise
Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise
What happens now
Do we break another rule
Let our lovers play the fool
I don't know how
To stop feeling this way //

"Gil, whose' at?" Catherine asked him, eyes drooping, slurring her words.

Gil sat back down and took her hand.

"Nobody… sleep, you need rest."

"don' member…"

"I know you don't remember. But let's worry about that later, okay? You need to sleep." He smiled at her, before chuckling. "The nurses will kick me out if you don't get some rest my dear."

At that, Catherine quieted, squeezing his hand as if clinging for dear life.

// Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours //

Soon after learning of Catherine's awakening, however, the room was filled with visitors doling out get wells and hugs. Grissom found himself shrinking back into a corner and just observing the actions of his team. Sara and Warrick were clustered at the head of the bed, talking softly, tears slipping down Sara's cheeks. Nick had placed himself near the end of the bed, phone clutched tightly in his hand, undoubtedly phoning Greg and Doc Robbins with the news.

"She's lucky, to have so many people that care about her." Dr. Jameson said, coming up and standing next to Grissom. "I've never seen anything like this…she must be very close to all of you."

'I'm lucky', Grissom replied to himself, losing his awareness of the world around him as he gazed upon her. She was nodding at all of the questions being flung at her, eyelids half open. Shooting a glance in his direction, he moved to her side and slipped his hand into hers.

The action, though subtle, was not lost on the other people standing in the room, including Sara, and she let a smile form on her lips though her heart was breaking on the inside.

"Cath, you ok?" Grissom asked, stroking her hair. She nodded slowly in reply. "You sure?" he repeated worry in his voice. Again, she nodded, smiling at him as best she could.

"don' member," she whispered to him so softly the others didn't hear it, her eyes drooping further.

"I know, Cath, you told me earlier; I know you don't remember what happened."

Catherine shook her head, "No...don' remember them." She pointed to the group hovering around her bed –her friends, people she had worked with, formed unbreakable bonds with.

"Who do you remember?"

"You…Eddie…Linds…"

"What about Warrick? Nick? Sara?"

"Sara?"

"Yes, Sara."  Catherine shook her head again, eyes filling with tears.

Grissom felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. This wasn't happening.

It just couldn't be happening.

// Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me
And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free
Every time I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware
That the someone I've been searching for is right there

Hold on to the nights//

TBC.