Authors Sincere Apology: I am sorry. Really. I was about halfway through this chapter when my computer died irreparably. I was pissed off, and with my work destroyed, lost the will to continue. But the show must go on! Let the continuation continue!
Chapter 15
Throughout this story, we've mainly focused on Yugi and Kaiba. However, Bakura, Malik, Mai, and even Pegasus (To a certain extent) have been given extensive roles.
… but what about the people behind the scenes? The people our main characters have come to know, love, and depend on. Aren't they just as important, even more important than many of the people I've been focusing on because they're more funny?
And so, in this chapter, we take a look in on the people we've left behind. (Note: This takes place at the same time as interlude 2)
Tea:
Tea ran up to her room and collapsed on her bed, sobbing piteously. "Yugi! How could you?! For so long, you have been my one true love! How is it that now, in the depths of darkness as the very end of our lives approach, that you turn away from me?! Why, Yugi?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" She screamed.
Suddenly, her eyes lit up. Tears still ran down her face, but she brushed them off and put on a brave smile. "You know what, Yugi? I don't need you! It took me a while to realize it, but deep down what I was really looking for was someone to depend on, when I should have been depending on myself. If I just change my outlook on life, I realize that I'm a strong person and I don't need you or any other person to make me complete.
"Sure, it would be great to find love, but I'm not going to waste my time chasing it anymore. If I just keep a positive attitude, love will find me! Sorry Yugi, but you had your chance. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you're frankly just a guppy. I want… no, I DESERVE… a great white shark! FROM NOW ON, TEA GARDENER IS HER OWN WOMAN! Look out world, a whole new Tea has just arrived!" she proclaimed. A spotlight shone down on her. An invisible audience applauded and threw roses.
Silence.
"YUGI, WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!" Tea screamed, and burst into tears.
Joey:
As great as his friends were, Joey really just wanted to be alone right now.
The knowledge that you were going to die tomorrow was a pretty big thing to bear, and Joey preferred to deal with such thing on his own. And so it was that Joey took a nice long walk outside Domino city, all alone. It was really nice countryside, with a lake, and farms, and everything. Real serene.
He was going to die. Tomorrow.
"DAMMIT!" Joey roared. He was too young to die! He just couldn't stop thinking about how young he was, and all he'd never done.
Never had sex. Never learned to play the bugle. Never ridden an elephant.
That was just the sort of stuff Joey thought about.
Serenity really liked elephants. Joey didn't, but he still would have liked to take her on an elephant ride someday. He'd never get the chance.
Joey was, frankly, pissed off. And it was in this frame of mind that he saw the chicken. The chicken was a typically average chicken, behind a typically average fence. The only thing remotely unusual about the chicken was that it was staring at him, and it seemed to understand his situation, because it was making a strange noise. Sort of a low, rhythmic cluck, like it…
It was laughing at him! No way! Joey was astonished. Chickens weren't supposed to laugh at him!
Then Joey was annoyed. What made that chicken think it could laugh at him?
Then Joey was FURIOUS. HOW DARE THAT CHICKEN LAUGH AT HIM?!
Joey picked up a rock, and taking aim, chucked it at the chicken. It connected solidly, knocking that damn laughing chicken over. Joey laughed a little of his own, then turned around to start walking back to town.
Then the chicken attacked him.
Mokuba:
Mokuba wandered the halls of KaibaCorp., looking for his brother. Seto hadn't left his office in a few days now, and when he went to the front desk they'd said he was in the office. It had been a while since Mokuba had been in the KaibaCorp. Building, so he got a little turned around, but eventually found his brother's office. It was empty.
Mokuba sighed deeply. Darn. I guess that means he's in his Office, which means he's doing something evil. Well, he's not safe to be around when he's like that, and anyway I'm never risking the elevators on that floor ever again. Guess I'll… just…
Mokuba looked at his brother's big, official looking desk. Couldn't hurt anyone…
Mokuba got into the big, swiveling chair behind the desk, picked up a pen, and said, "I'm President Kaiba! I'm rich and good at duel monsters! Hee, hee, I have to sign all these official documents!" He turned to the intercom. "It's President Kaiba! Buy three thousand shares of stock in Sporks Incorporated! And make me a chocolate milkshake!"
Mokuba stayed there for a few more minutes, pretending to sign contracts and rant about Duel Monsters, when a man came to the door with a chocolate milkshake. "Here's your beverage, sir. And we've made the requested changes to your stock portfolio."
Mokuba looked at the intercom, turning paler by the second. "That… was… on?"
"Yes, sir."
"… … … OH MY GOD, I'M A DEAD MAN!" Mokuba screamed. "I just bought my brother three thousand shares in a spork company! Nobody uses sporks, I might as well have thrown a million dollars out a window! HE'S GONNA KILL ME!"
"Do you need some sort of protection, President Kaiba? Bodyguards? That can be arranged."
"Wait… you seriously think I'm Seto, just because I'm sitting at this desk?"
"Oh, you always did have a strange sense of humor, sir."
"… yes. Yes, get me a lot of bodyguards. Big ones, with guns. And get me my credit cards, and a laptop with internet access. We're going shopping."
Tea:
"::Sigh::. Maybe, just maybe, I'm taking this Yugi thing too seriously. I mean, it's just Yugi who doesn't like me, and its not like there isn't another one of him. Maybe I can get together with Yami. He's taller anyway. And spikier. And he… isn't the one… WHO SHATTERED MY HEART INTO FIFTY MILLION INDIVIDUAL PIECES! The first piece is named DESPAIR! The second piece is named LONELINESS! The third piece is named…"
Joey:
Joey rolled around on the ground, desperately trying to shake the attacking chicken off his back. The bird was clucking viciously, kicking at Joey with surprising force and pecking him in the back of the head. Joey swore prolifically as he vainly tried to launch some sort of counterattack against the foul fowl.
Finally, he managed to roll into a position to launch a decent shot at the chicken, knocking it off his back. He quickly got to his feet and stared into the chicken's gleaming, murderous eyes.
"You want a piece a this, feathers?" Joey taunted. "I eat yer cousins fer lunch! With a baked biscuit and a side a potatoes!"
The chicken launched itself through the air towards Joey's face. Joey threw a punch at it, but the chicken (Demonstrating surprising agility for a farm bird) managed to latch on to Joey's arm and run up it to kick (Yes, kick) him in the face.
Joey went down hard. The chicken took the opportunity to latch on to his back and begin mauling him again.
Joey managed to direct the fight over to a large rock, and began slamming the chicken on his back into it. Finally, the bird let go, and Joey managed to grab the dazed creature and drop kick it.
The chicken fell, vanquished.
Joey wiped the sweat from his brow and prepared to walk home… when he heard and ominous cluck from behind him.
He turned, to see no less than two dozen chickens staring at him.
Joey turned and ran.
The chickens charged.
Mokuba:
Mokuba kicked back with his deluxe gourmet chocolate milkshake and let his new blonde Swedish masseuse Heidi rub the tension from his shoulders. He put his brand new platform shoes up on his brother's desk, and gazed around at the massive pile of stuff he'd bought after discovering how to use Seto's credit cards. He himself was wearing big, expensive shades, pinstriped pants, a huge fuzzy vest and a big hat with a feather in it. Oh, and platform shoes. Just for fun he'd bought himself a cane with a huge diamond on top.
For a ten year old, Mokuba made a surprisingly convincing pimp.
Mokuba smiled at the screen of his computer, and decided that his… er, his brother's… office didn't have nearly enough disco balls. Should he get the cheap one for five hundred… or the diamond studded one for ten thousand?
"As if there were ever a question!" Mokuba chided himself, clicking on the ten thousand dollar disco ball. A bigger price tag was always a sure sign you should buy something.
Any feelings of guilt Mokuba might have ever conceivably had about anything had been quashed some time ago, when he had found out that, due to a massive new supply of food being shipped to Africa, the demand for sporks had shot up tremendously. With the new stock he'd bought, he figured he'd made his brother a couple million at least, so there was certainly no harm in shopping.
"But, there isn't a whole lot of stuff left to buy, my dear. Time to hit the stock market again!" Mokuba told Heidi. She didn't speak any language other than Swedish, so she just smiled. "Hmmmm… what to buy now? How about… yeah, twenty-thousand shares of Spam™!"
A nameless guard ran into the room. "President Kaiba! Good news! It turns out that the huge shipment of food into Africa was all Spam! You just made the company twenty BILLION dollars!"
Mokuba smiled. "All right! Now I can buy that spa I was holding back on!"
Suddenly the elevator pinged outside. "What's all that racket? Who's in my office, anyway?" a familiar voice inquired from the hallway.
Mokuba paled. "SETO?! Ohhhhhhh, no." Mokuba ran out of the office, screaming.
Kaiba watched his brother, dressed in a very out-of-character outfit, sprint out his office. He looked into the door, and saw a massive mound of candy, televisions, sound equipment, clothes, artwork, and a young blonde woman, likely of Swedish descent. "Um… what the hell happened here?" he inquired. Heidi smiled at him.
The same nameless faceless employee burst into the room. "PRESIDENT KAIBA! It's terrible!"
"What is?"
"You remember that stock you bought in Spork incorporated? And the Spam company?"
"… no?"
"Well, a massive plague has struck Africa, and it seems that the Spam was responsible for causing it! Not only that, but the reusal of dirty sporks has caused the virus to spread! Millions are on the brink of death, and they're all suing the Spam and Spork companies!"
"… … is that a problem?"
"They've both filed for hyper-super bankruptcy! And since you owned so much of both of them, you lost three TRILLION dollars!"
"… … … … I… … what?"
"LOST THREE TRILLION DOLLARS!"
"WHO THE @#)(*! BOUGHT ME THAT )@#)($*#@) STOCK?!? I'LL TEAR HIS #($%&$(% HEART OUT! I'LL… MOKUBA! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"It gets worse, sir."
"I JUST LOST THREE TRILLION DOLLARS! HOW CAN IT GET WORSE?!?!"
"Well, it seems you're so far in debt that the only way you can possibly ever not be hunted down and killed by bill collectors is to… … …"
"What?"
"Sell KaibaCorp."
"I… I… I… I… I… no. No, I can't. Without my deck… KaibaCorp. is the only thing I have left… I can't just sell it… I…"
"I'm… sorry, sir. It's the only way."
"Very… very well." Kaiba said in a dead, hollow voice. "Put my controlling stock in KaibaCorp. up for sale."
A second employee walked in. "Sir, someone has bought your stock in KaibaCorp."
"That was fast…"
The buyer walked in.
Kaiba screamed.
Tea:
"… the three million, seven hundred forty-two thousand, two hundred and ninteenth piece is named EMOTIONAL ANGUISH! The three million, seven hundred forty-two thousand, two hundred and twentieth piece is named SOUL-WRENCHING PAIN! The…"
Joey:
Joey ran for his life. He could hear the chickens stomping behind him, knew he couldn't possibly face that many chickens. There was nothing left he could do but run.
Don't chickens ever get tired?! They've been after me for like three hours! How long do I gotta put up with this?!! For an instant Joey considered turning to fight… but that would be suicide. They would tear him apart. So he ran. He ran for his life.
Finally, he saw respite. A lake! Putting on one final burst of speed, Joey jumped into the lake, swimming for the center. Chickens couldn't swim, they'd have to give up and go away.
Joey heard several splashes behind him. The chickens. Swimming.
"Oh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Joey screamed as the chickens closed in.
Mokuba:
Mokuba had been going back to calmly explain to his brother that he really hadn't stolen anything from him, and that the new stocks he'd gotten had made Seto richer than ever… when he heard the conversation Seto was having.
Mokuba felt like he'd been punched in the gut.
His brother had lost KaibaCorp. But… KaibaCorp. was Seto's baby. He couldn't just lose it! Not because of something he didn't even do!
Mokuba ran into the office to protest, just as his brother screamed. Just as the new owner walked in.
"TRISTAN?!" Mokuba screamed. "HOW THE #)%( DID YOU BUY A COMPANY?!"
Tristan smiled. "Well, when I was a kid my mom got me a savings bond, and I just decided to spend it today!"
"… … that musta been one hell of a savings bond."
"It did have a really good interest rate." Tristan agreed. "Hey, I bet this desk would look really good with a picture of me on it! And I bet I can get a poodle! CEO's can have poodles, right."
Kaiba started laughing.
"Um… big brother… you okay?"
"Oh? Oh, yes, dream Mokuba."
"Huh?"
"Well, you see, I'm dreaming. That's the only logical explanation. And when I wake up, you'll be dead, I'll have KaibaCorp. back, and my deck will be in my vault where it belongs." Kaiba said in a slightly deranged tone of voice. He pinched himself. "Hmmm… no, not awake yet."
Mokuba watched his brother punch himself, hit his head on a wall, and jab a pen through his hand before deciding that this must be one of those 'falling dreams' where you don't wake up until you hit the ground. This promptly led him to jump out the window.
"Hey, Kaiba!" Tristan yelled. "You have to pay for my window! Hey, can I have duck for lunch? Tomorrow, I mean, it's way too late for lunch now."
Mokuba sighed deeply. The KaibaCorp. (er… TristanCorp.) employees started crying.
Outside, Kaiba screamed, "Nope! Not awake yet!"
Tea:
"And the fifty-millionth piece is named TOTAL, AGONIZING, TRAUMATIC HEARTBREAK!" Tea finished. Feeling slightly better, she decided to go for a walk to clear her head. Maybe, in any case, she would run into Yami. Then she could date him, and make Yugi totally jealous. Although, since technically anything she did with Yami she'd also be doing with Yugi, that might not work horribly well. But still, it was worth a try.
Tea set off into the world.
Joey:
Joey wandered back into town at around ten p.m., broken, bruised, and bleeding. As he walked, he came upon Tristan. Much to Joey's annoyance, his good friend seemed… happy.
"Hey, buddy! Good news. I just bought KaibaCorp.! I'm a billionaire now! And I get to have all the cheese curls I want, every day! Cool, huh?"
Joey thought. "Tristan…"
"Yeah?"
"Wanna have some fun?"
"Sure! I love fun! It's fun!"
"Go outside a' town about twelve miles that direction till you find a farm. Once ya get there, throw a rock at a chicken. Somthin' real cool will happen."
"Wow! HOW cool?"
"Super cool."
"ALRIGHT! SUPER COOL CHICKEN THING, I'M ON MY WAY!" Tristan proclaimed as he ran off toward the farm.
Joey watched him go, and then started laughing.