Chapter 18

Bakura, Mai, and to a lesser extent, Kaiba, watched the unfolding confrontation with mounting interest.

Yami stared intently at his nemesis.  He gazed into the cold, red eyes of the evil that had cursed him, the darkness that had pursued him and sought his total eradication for 5000 years.  A single, burning question leapt into his brain.  One thing that he had to ask her, something he had to know about this, the most worthy of foes. 
            "Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™…" He began.  "You have hounded me.  Spied on me.  Cursed me so that my greatest skill now brings me only despair.  I must ask of you know… have we met?  Because your face doesn't ring any bells, honestly."

"W-what?!  YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ME?!  I spend five THOUSAND years seeking my horrific vengeance upon you and you don't even have the decency to remember why?!?!?!" The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™ shrieked.

"Oh, so we have met?  Sorry, but you just really don't look familiar at all.  I mean, I certainly don't remember doing anything revenge-worthy to you…" Yami said, and shrugged helplessly.

"… … … …  YOU BASTARD!  After what you DID to me, what you TOOK from me, you have the TEMERITY to pretend like you don't KNOW!?  I'll flay you alive for your impudence!"

"No, seriously, I'm not pretending.  I have no idea who you are."

"DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!  You visited a horrible, lasting torment upon me that has led me to suffer these past five thousand years!"

Yami rolled his eyes.  "Yes, I'm sure it was horrible.  Now, why don't you… um, remind me of what it was."

I was kind of curious myself. Yugi thought.

"Well…" The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™ began, "It's really best explained with a flashback."

Yami moaned.  Evil Bakura said,  "Oh, come ON.  We don't seriously have to…"

FLASHBACK:

            (The scene is Ancient Egypt.  About twenty people are standing in line in front of a booth that says "Ancient Egyptian Slushies- The only slushies made with warm ice!")

Yami: (At the front of the line)  Ah, nothing like an Ancient Egyptian slushie!  I'll have a cherry, please!

Slushie Vendor:  That'll be two Ancient Egyptian dollars, pharaoh.

Yami:  (Looking through his wallet)  Hmmmmm… I'm five cents short.  Anybody got an Ancient Egyptian nickel they can loan me?

The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™:  (Standing behind Yami in line)  Here, I've got one!  But you have to pay me back tomorrow!

Yami:  (Taking the nickel, and the slushie)  No problem.  Just come by the palace tomorrow and I'll pay you back.

(The Next day, at the palace of the pharaoh)

The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™:  Hello!  Pharoah?  I'm here to get back the money I loaned you!

Palace Guard:  I'm sorry, miss, but the Pharoah fought a horrific battle to contain the magic of the Shadow Games yesterday evening, and his spirit is currently sealed inside the mystical millennium puzzle.  You'll have to wait until the chosen one releases him and claims his throne.

The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™:  WHAT?!   When will that be?!

Palace Guard:  (Thoughtful)  Five thousand years, give or take a century.

The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™:  PHAROAH!  I SWEAR I SHALL MAKE YOU PAY FOR CHEATING ME, EVEN IF I HAVE TO WAIT FIVE THOUSAND YEARS TO DO IT!!!

(End flashback)

            "… have ANOTHER stupid flashback?" Evil Bakura finished.

            "… … … … … …  THAT'S IT?!" Yami shouted in disbelief.  "THIS IS ALL OVER ONE #$)(*#$##$ NICKEL?!?!?"

            "… It's the principle of the thing." The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™ said.

            "The 'principle' is that it's A GODDAMN NICKEL!"

            "You're forgetting that there's been a lot of inflation over five thousand years." The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™ said shrewdly.  "As of today, you owe me over TEN DOLLARS."

            Silence. 
            Somewhere, a cricket chirped.

            Evil Bakura fell down laughing at the absurdity of it all.  Mai started chuckling.

            "OH COME ON!" Yami roared in exasperation.  "This has got to be the single WORST revenge I've EVER heard of!"

            The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™ looked uncertain.  "…really?"

            I can't argue with that. Yugi thought.

"TEN DOLLARS is not any more revenge-worthy than a nickel!  Money is not revenge worthy until you get into the thousands, at least!  Here, I've got a twenty in my wallet.  Just take it and buzz off."

"NO!  I will claim vengeance in the DESTRUCTION OF YOUR VERY SOUL!"

"IT'S TEN DOLLARS!"

"IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING!  Now, we are going to have… a DUEL!"

Mai yawned.  "Who else saw that coming?"

"Now, Yami, before I destroy you and make you suffer a fate worse than death… red or black?"

"… … … huh?"

"We're playing checkers!  Red or black?"

"We… we're doing what?"

"Checkers."

"WE CAN'T DUEL IN CHECKERS!"

The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™ shrugged.  "Okay.  Chess?  Oh, how about Monopoly!  I get to be the race car!"

"Can I play?" Bakura asked.

"NO!" Yami roared.  "BECAUSE WE ARE NOT PLAYING MONOPOLY!"

"… Uno?" The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™ asked meekly.

"I'm in!" Mai said cheerfully.

"NO!  THERE!  WILL!  BE!  NO!  UNO!  WE!  ARE!  PLAYING!  DUEL!  MONSTERS!"

Suddenly, Tristan, Joey, and Tea appeared.  "You can do it, buddy!" Tristan shouted.

"Believe in the heart of the cards!" Joey said.

"Yugi, you're a jerk!  Yami, kick butt!" Tea cheered.

Evil Bakura's eyebrows raised.  "So, you managed to break your curse somehow?"

Yami's blood went cold.  He looked over at The Dark, Foul, Evil Sorceress of Chaos and Destruction™, who was smiling wickedly and pulling a deck of cards out of her robes.   "Accepted.  You realize, of course," she said, "That the loser will be consigned to the most horrific torment imaginable?"

"Aw, nuts." Yami said.