Chapter 22
Pegasus favored the group with a sinister smile. "Why hello there, Yugi-Boy, Tristan-Boy, Joey-Boy, Tea-Boy…"
"HEY!" Tea said indignantly.
"Bakura-Girl…"
"HEY!" Bakura said far, far more indignantly.
"It's so nice to see you all again, even if it IS only for the few, meager minutes until I crush Yugi-Boy and KILL YOU ALL…"
Joey gulped. "Oh, yeah. I sorta forgot about that part in all the excitement…"
"I know. In any case, I believe it's time for us to duel in a horrible, climactic battle to finish for my apocalyptic revenge!" Pegasus said cheerfully, in the tone of one discussing the weather. The Millennium Eye glittered.
"HEY!" Evil Bakura said, startled. "I TORE THAT THING OUT OF YOUR HEAD! HOW'D YOU GET IT BACK!?"
Pegasus sighed theatrically. "It was a terrible, harrowing experience of the most horrific sort. I had to face fierce storms, raging winds, and erupting volcanoes. It was an odyssey of terror and fury, and the sort of tremendously painful and horrible experience…"
Yugi yawned. "Shouldn't Apocalyptic revenge have more… activity?"
"… that can only be explained with a flashback!" Pegasus finished.
"OH, COME…"
Flashback:
(Scene: Bakura's house. The Millennium Eye is on the desk, holding down a pile of paper. Suddenly, the door opens and Pegasus enters.)
Pegasus: Oh, look, the Millennium Eye! (Grabs eye, puts it back in head, leaves.)
End Flashback:
"… … on?" Joey finished.
Yami raised his eyebrow. "'A terrible, harrowing experience of the most horrific sort'?"
"… … You broke into my house?" Bakura asked.
"You really should change your locks. Now, Yugi-boy, are you ready for our little duel? I have Tooooooooon world…" Pegasus said, as though this was some sort of special prize especially for Yugi.
Yami's expression turned grim. "Very well, Pegasus! To preserve the lives of my friends and for the fate of the world, we shall duel once ag-"
YAMI! What if you're still cursed?
~But…we beat the psycho who cursed us!~
And do we have any guarantees that did anything at all?
~I… but… I… I don't wanna be cursed anymore!~
Yami, just, y'know, check. Draw a card.
Yami reached into his deck, and pulled a card off the top. He gazed at it, and a smile appeared on his face.
Unfortunately, it was not a smile of confidence.
"Soooooo… Max…" Yami said nervously, doing his best to make sure his very, very fake smile stayed in place. "I've gotta say, I'm in such top form from that last duel I just had… I would just totally cream you right now. How about we reschedule this for… oh, next week, when I've had time to cool down. Actually, next month would be better. Or next year. Or we could just cancel it all together! Yeah, that might be best. So, bye, I'll never see you again ever."
"Actually, Yugi-boy, you're still cursed and desperately trying to make me go away so you don't die." Pegasus said, Millennium Eye glowing brilliantly.
"DAMMIT!"
"Now, what do you say we get going… what the–?"
A bus, on fire and going about 70, came flying down the street. At the sight of the arena in the middle of the street, the driver desperately swerved, tipping over his vehicle, which screeched to a halt, on its side, about ten feet away from the gathering on the road. From a window on the side (Or actually, the top, now) climbed none other than Yami Malik, the millennium symbol glowing on his forehead, and a wild, hunted look in his eyes. He looked like someone had shoved him through a blender.
"Damn, who put that thing there… I can't afford to stop now! Wait, pharaoh! You…"
"Malik, your evil will not be allowed to spread, I will stop you here and now!" Yami proclaimed dramatically.
"…have to help me!" the dark creature finished desperately. "She's coming for me, you have to save me, PLEASE! Bakura, Yami… c'mon guys, we're friends, you have to save me!"
"… … you hate us. You try to kill us all the time." Evil Bakura said.
"No I don't! What are you talking about!"
"You mailed me a letter bomb last week."
"… … … … … I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes you do. It had your name on it. It might've killed me if you hadn't stamped 'Fragile, there's a bomb inside' on the box."
"Alright, so I tried to kill you! So sue me! I'm evil, it's what I do! You're evil, can't you just forgive and forget?!"
"Well, no. Part of being evil is a sort of moral imperative to NOT forgive. That's why I sent your bomb to Tristan. He punched me once." Evil Bakura said.
"… okay, can you just forget?"
"No, actually. Someday, when you least expect it, I will seek horrific vengeance upon your worthless soul. But for now, what do you need saving from?"
"SHE… SHE's coming to KILL ME! She's going to… to…" Yami Malik started crying.
"Who is?" Joey asked.
"WHAT 'SHE' WOULD I BE TALKING ABOUT, YOU MORON?!"
"Oh, that she," Joey said. "OH."
"Oh, dear." Tea said, going pale.
Everyone took a step away from Yami Malik. Yami pointed at him and said loudly, "I do not know this person. I have never seen him before. If anyone–say, Isis Ishtar–wanted to horribly mangle him, I would have no problem with that, and would not stop them. I would help them, if they asked. But only if they asked, for fear of offending them with unwanted aid."
"W-what? But… you guys…"
"I'm sorry, did someone say something?" Pegasus asked.
"I think that walking corpse over there made a few noises." Tristan said, pointing at Yami Malik.
"… … …You guys suck." The aforementioned force of darkness growled.
Suddenly, the very air nearby began to shimmer and be drawn in upon itself. From this vortex of power stepped the enigmatic and powerful Shadi, guardian of the Millennium Items. Everyone, even Yami Malik and Evil Bakura, fell respectfully silent as the wise and mighty guardian approached them.
"Welcome, Shadi," Yami said. "Have you come to warn us of dark portents? Or perhaps to share with us ancient wisdom lost to the ages?"
"No." Shadi said reverently.
"Oh, I know!" Evil Bakura said excitedly. "We have, among us here, the Millennium Items gathered! Are you here to tell us to combine our powers, and guide the universe onto a new path of enlightenment through the Godlike strength we will gain from joining forces?"
"No." Shadi said reverently.
"… … … … then… no offense… why are you here?" Pegasus asked solemnly.
"I am making… a cameo."
Silence.
"Oh." Yami said. "Okay. Are you going to… tell us anything in this cameo?"
"No, just making a cameo."
"How long will your cameo be?" Tea asked curiously.
"Oh, I don't know. Typical cameo length, I suppose. A few more sentences." Shadi said.
"You're sure you don't want to do something in your cameo? I'm sure we could find a mortal soul for you to judge." Yami Malik said.
"Take Tristan! Nobody likes Tristan!" Evil Bakura offered.
"HEY!" Tristan protested.
"No, thank you. I don't really feel like working on this cameo. It's more of an easygoing cameo. Laid-back."
"Well, okay, if that's what you want to do," Pegasus said. "I guess you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I mean, it is your cameo."
Quite suddenly, the sky turned pitch black. The sun, which had been almost fully risen, fell back below the horizon. Carrion birds swarmed overhead, filling the air with their shrill cries. Death approached.
Lighting up the street was the orange glow of flames. These flames were surrounding and following the form of Isis, who had just appeared in sight. Her eyes were glowing red, a millennium symbol burned black on her forehead, and the Millennium Necklace around her neck seemed to be made of pure energy. As she walked the ground burst into flame beneath her feet, and anything made of glass shattered as she walked past it.
Everyone took several steps away from Malik.
Shadi said, "I think my cameo just ended," and disappeared.
Yami Malik, trapped like a rat, began desperately looking around for some way to escape his impending doom. Sighting a manhole, he pried it open with his Millennium Rod and jumped down. The sound of his footsteps in the sewage water fell away as he sprinted through the Domino Sewer System.
The remainder of the group got off to the side of the street, just in case Isis decided to somehow destroy the entire road to get at her brother. Instead, she turned and stared at them.
Everyone gulped in unison.
Suddenly, the sun came back up, and the raging inferno went out. The crows flew away. Isis, her normal self, smiled pleasantly at them. "Pharaoh, always an honor to see you. Maximillion! It's been ages, how have you been? Tea, Joseph, Tristan, Bakura, how are you all doing?" she said cheerfully.
"Um… … we're doing fine, miss Ishtar." Yugi said cautiously. Yami had jumped back into the puzzle and curled up in a fetal position. "how… how are you?"
"Oh, Yugi, please call me Isis! I'm doing just fine, thank you. I was just looking for my brother to visit unholy torment upon his soul. But then he jumped into that sewer, and I figured there was no point in getting all dirty for his sake! He'll have to come out eventually, and then I'll utterly destroy him like the vermin he is. Ta ta!" She said kindly, and then strolled off.
"Well… that turned out better dan I thought!" Joey said, relieved.
Pegasus turned to Yugi. "NOW, Yugi-boy! I believe before the flaming bus crashed here, we were about to duel! Now, prepare to lose your puzzle, your friends, and you VERY SOUL!" Suddenly, the Looney Tunes theme song began playing from inside Pegasus's shirt. "I'm sorry, I have to take this." He reached into his shirt and pulled out a cell phone from a pocket inside. "Pegasus, go." He said in a tone of voice very different from his normal strange and grandiose manner of speech. It sounded gruff, businesslike, and eerily similar to Kaiba. "What is it? I'm in the middle of my ten o'clock revenge… what? She did WHAT? We lost how much?! How dare that… I thought our lawyers took care of that? SHE BOUGHT THEM OFF?! All right, just try not to screw up any more, I'm on my way back right now." He hung up the phone with a disgusted sigh.
"Sorry, Yugi, but business before Apocalyptic Revenge. KaibaCorp. just got some killer new VP, and she's trying for a hostile takeover of my company. I need to go fend her off now, I'll get in touch when I'm free to destroy you. Adios!" Pegasus got back in his limo and drove off.
~… … Yugi, were we just spared death yet again?~
I do believe so Yami. I do believe so.
THE END
"WAIT!" Joey said. "Ain't ya still… y'know… cursed?"
"GOD DAMMIT!" Yami swore.