"Are you sure this is gonna work?" Inuyasha asked dubiously.
"Of course it is!" Sesshoumaru replied absently, watching their prey with a practiced eye. "Would I ever lie to you? Don't answer that." he commanded, cutting his brother off mid-sentence.
"But won't they smell you?" Inuyasha finally queried.
"Maybe." Sesshoumaru admitted. "But it won't matter. Look, Inuyasha…" he motioned, parting the prickly thorn bush in front of them. "Are they not weak? Are they not easy prey? We shall strike fear into their topknots and cut off their souls…er…fear into their souls and…"
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. There went the bad battle epics again. Sesshoumaru needed to pay more attention in history class or just stop quoting from it. But regardless, there was still the matter of their enemies…enemies so tantalizingly close that he couldn't help but sink his small claws into the ground.
There were five of them, all out for an afternoon stroll near their apartments. Yasuka, the little pink haired demon, couldn't be much older than Sesshoumaru, but the other four were definitely Big Kids in Inuyasha's eyes. Their hair was long and tied back, looped into intricate, oiled updos, and they wore large, sweeping court dresses. Almost adults even. Inuyasha swallowed hard. Yasuka was one thing, but when you considered the rest of them were Big People…maybe this wasn't such a great idea.
Suddenly, the purple-haired teenager—Michiru, he thought her name was—turned her head and gazed hard at the bushes in front of her. Both puppies squeaked and dove lower, burrowing into the dirt. After a few gut-wrenching seconds, the tall girl turned her gaze away and moved on.
"I dunno about this…" Inuyasha mused, pulling a leaf out of his hair.
"C'mon!" Sesshoumaru whined, nudging his brother eagerly. He was fired up already, Inuyasha could tell, and the full demon wasn't about to give up so easily. "Weren't they mean to you?"
"Yeah…I guess…"
"Didn't they make fun of you?" Sesshoumaru persisted.
"But you make fun of me too…" Inuyasha noted.
"Didn't they give you the cooties?"
"Yeah!" Inuyasha exclaimed, suddenly remembering his deadly affliction.
"And? What are you gonna do about it?"
"Get 'em back!" Inuyasha yipped excitedly. Sesshoumaru quickly smashed his face into the ground.
"Not so loud! You'll blow our cover!" his brother hissed.
"Oh yeah..." Inuyasha groaned. Dirt really did taste awful. "So what do I do again?"
"Stupid hanyou!" Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "Since you're too incompetenent—er—impotent--er—incontinent—er, since you can't do anything by yourself, YOU go out there and get them to pick on you, and I'LL come save you."
"And how is that supposed to work, girly boy? They'll think you're a chick too!" Inuyasha sneered. Sesshoumaru bonked him on the head.
"For your information, I happen to be a real demon, not some stupid hanyou! I'll transform on 'em!" Sesshoumaru sniffed haughtily. "You just sit back and watch The Master at work—I'll scare 'em so bad they won't come near you for a thousand years!"
"Ooh!" Inuyasha squealed happily. He loved watching his big brother transform. He couldn't wait til he got to be a big kid—maybe he would get big enough to have a demon form too.
"Got it?" Sesshoumaru asked. Inuyasha nodded, oblivious. He was still imagining himself as a powerful dog demon, dashing across the Western lands and killing ogres with one paw tied behind his back.
"Great! Now, GO!" Sesshoumaru urged, shoving his brother out into the harsh daylight.
"No! Hey wait! I'm not ready!" Inuyasha yipped. The idle chattering fell off almost immediately, and Inuyasha found himself surrounded by very inquisitive—and very female—eyes.
"Just get on with it!" Sesshoumaru snapped. "I'm gonna hide." The bushes rattled, and Sesshoumaru crawled away toward the southwestern corner of the Ladies' House.
"Hey! You girls over there!" Inuyasha barked in what he hoped was a bold and daring voice. The effect was somewhat dampened by his disheveled appearance; the dirt plastered across his forehead made him look more like a mole than a dog prince.
Finally, one of the girls broke the standoff, sauntering forward mischievously. "Oh, whatever could this be?" Michiru wondered mockingly. "Could it be…a cute widdle puppy? Do you want to play fetch with me, sweet pup?"
"'mnotapuppy" Inuyasha mumbled unintelligibly, staring at the ground.
"Louder!" his brother hissed from somewhere behind him.
"IsaidI'mnotapuppy!" Inuyasha grumbled quickly, glaring at his opponent. Michiru giggled. Behind her, little Yasuka snuck a peek at the young hanyou.
"Oh you aren't? Then why ever do you have these floppy little ears? Looks like a puppy to me!" Michiru teased.
"You better go away, or m-my big brother's gonna GET you." Inuyasha growled. He still wasn't entirely sure what you did when you GOT someone, but if anyone could do it his big brother could.
"Oh really?" Michiru smirked. Somehow, Inuyasha didn't like that smile. "Well, where is he then, if he's gonna do that?"
That was all the cue Sesshoumaru needed. The girls squealed in surprise as an icy wind of demonic energy rushed past them, sweeping around the corner. Inuyasha was particularly pleased to see Yasuka, that foul ear-molester, diving for cover.
The shadows shifted crazily, and a gigantic whiteness surged around the corner, leaving the girls little time to run. Sesshoumaru's flaming eyes towered above all of them, a purebred demon at his most menacing. He was easily twice Inuyasha's height at the shoulder, and the hanyou was impressed to see his brother's new grown-up fangs – they looked just like dad's. Said fangs were nearly as long as his forearm and dripping with a particularly wicked-looking acid. If his big brother wasn't careful, he could melt somebody's toes off.
So that's what happened to the old protocol teacher. Inuyasha realized with a grin. He'd never cared much for the bitc—mean person, he automatically censored himself. There were girls around, after all.
…girls who were supposed to be his enemies! He realized with a panic, shaking himself out of his hero worship. Thankfully, his quarry hadn't escaped while he was daydreaming. Instead, they were staring blankly up at the bristling dog demon. And the purple-haired one even had the gall to look…bored? How insulting! the hanyou sniffed. Well, they couldn't back out now…
"I, er…SIC 'EM, Sesshoumaru!!!!" the hanyou cried, jumping to one side. He wasn't sure what 'sicking' someone did either, but he sure hoped Yasuka would get the chicken pops from it. His big brother stepped forward slowly, curling his lips back into his patented Badass Big Dog Snarl. Inuyasha winced and tried not to laugh. He still thought his brother's signature snarl looked more like a bad case of indigestion, but that could be scary too, right? Maybe the girls would think he was just having trouble digesting his last enemy…
Massive jaws split wider, and Sesshoumaru added a growl to the mix. That was pretty cool, Inuyasha had to admit—just a low, steady rumble, but it carried the note of a thousand beat downs with it.
The girls continued staring, entirely unimpressed.
"Psst! Hey, 'Master' - why aren't they 'running in terror'?!" Inuyasha hissed. Sesshoumaru spat a quick burst of acid in response. "Hey! Watch what yer doing!" the hanyou squealed.
Sesshoumaru hunkered lower on his haunches, bringing his wedge-shaped head down to his opponents' level. Blazing eyes met calm, feminine gazes, and the dog demon amplified his growl tenfold.
The girls exchanged brief, guarded looks before falling on him.
"Oh, how darling!"
"Is this the Lord's son?"
"He's just so adorable!"
"The hell?!" Inuyasha echoed Sesshoumaru's sentiments as the ladies swarmed toward the full demon, reaching out to touch his fur. Taken completely by surprise, the purebred dog whined and backed away—and that was all the time the women needed.
"Come here, you sweet little thing!"
Inuyasha watched for a few horrified seconds before the carnage became too painful to watch. He scrunched his eyes shut and covered his floppy ears as best as he could. Even so, some of the telltale noises squeaked past his defenses.
When he did venture to look up, the hanyou was shocked to see his older brother covered in women—girls playing with his tail, stroking his fur, and even hugging his neck. Sesshoumaru looked entirely mortified, shifting around as well as the weights around his forequarters would allow. They were petting him…
"Oh, gross…" Inuyasha thought he was going to throw up. And then…the hanyou's eyes widened in horror as his pink-haired nemesis crawled steadily up his brother's neck.
"C'mon, not the ears…" the watching hanyou prayed fervently, but Yasuka reached for them anyways, finding the dog's left ear flap. Her tiny claws found that one special spot and scratched hesitantly.
Sesshoumaru instantly melted, leaning into her hand as she petted him. Like a common cat! Inuyasha tsked. It was his brother's one true weakness, that damn behind-the-ears scratch…what a low trick. Stupid girl! Not even big bro is that dishonorable! That's almost as bad as a kick to the you-know-whats… the puppy shuddered.
Sesshoumaru tried again to shake them off, but the girls had smelled opportunity. "Aw, that's so CUTE!" they squealed, diving for his other ear. The bewildered youkai attempted to snap at them, but the combined weight of their persons and the tingly sensations from his ears overruled his better senses. To his abject horror, the dog demon found himself lowering his head, and all four of the remaining girls lit upon his ear at once.
So much scritching…tiny claws dancing over his most sensitive, ticklish spots…He couldn't help it. His curly tail twitched, and started to wag.
"Oh no…" Inuyasha groaned. It was all over now…his brother was lost. The girls giggled, chattering excitedly as they convinced the treasonous tail to thump in time to their scratching. Sesshoumaru whined earnestly, but his eyes slid shut instead—no valiant counter-attack coming in the near future.
Inuyasha groaned and contemplated what to do next. There were too many of 'em, and his brother was already down for the count. He could bite one of the girls (but then he'd get more COOTIES) or he could just run (and then Sesshoumaru would kill him). What could he--oh no! The hanyou watched in horror as his brother trembled and slid toward the ground. Was he…rolling over?!
However, despite the hanyou's fears, it seemed Sesshoumaru had a different plan. Instead of flipping on his back and surrendering his sensitive stomach to the persistent enemy, he opted out of the entire situation. Cold, demon-chilled energy spiraled inward, and Sesshoumaru shrunk back into his human form.
"Awww…" the ladies sighed, releasing the much smaller puppy from their death grip. Yasuka was the last to let go, still cupping a now-pointy ear in her tiny hand.
"Do you mind?" Sesshoumaru asked bluntly, and Inuyasha could tell his brother was absolutely seething. If she doesn't get offa him quick, he's gonna take her head off! the puppy thought gleefully. Although dad probably wouldn't be too happy about that…Inuyasha winced. Maybe he should try to separate them, he didn't want to sleep outside again. Especially not for the next several weeks.
"I, um, uh…bye!" Yasuka stuttered, leaping off the fallen prince. She blushed nervously, turning her cheeks pink enough to match her hair, and quickly disappeared into the ladies' quarters. The other women were slower to exit, taking their time to laugh about the whole affair.
"Bye, my puppy prince…" Michiru snickered, patting Sesshoumaru on the head. He lunged at her ankles, but she side-stepped him nimbly and floated into her chambers. "Come play with us some other time."
In a few minutes, they were gone…back into that untouchable land of incense and curtains. Women's quarters, where no puppy had set foot before.
"Nice going, moron!" Inuyasha barked, flopping down next to his brother. "They went back inside!"
"Aw, shaddup!" Sesshoumaru slurred, looking half-dazed. " 'S not my fault they knew about the…" his eyes became glazy. "…ear thing…"
"Snap out of it, big bro!" Inuyasha slapped his sibling, straight across the face. "Pull yourself together!"
"Why you--!"
Conversation dropped for a few minutes while they attempted to sort out exactly "who needs to get straightened out, you little booger!" Eventually, the scuffling came to a sort of uneasy truce, as the two puppies realized a) they both had cooties now and couldn't transfer them back and forth anymore and b) the real enemy had escaped scot-free, and there wasn't a blasted thing they could do about it.
"I dun geb it." Inuyasha sighed, holding his bloody nose. "Why weren' dey scared ob you?"
"'Cauz they're girls…" Sesshoumaru volunteered, talking slowly to avoid aggravating his bleeding lip. "Their brains must be broken or something."
"Yeah, dey must be too stupid!" Inuyasha agreed. "Dey should know better dan ta touch your fur."
A growl from his brother's direction.
"And da way dey skritched your ears…"
A louder growl.
"And den Yasuka—" Inuyasha stopped short, noticing his sibling's change in posture. He was kneeling now, staring intently at the women's compound's door. He knew that cold look in his big brother's eyes.
This meant war.
Uh-oh! So the puppies are going to war, are they? They'd better bring lots of ammunition… ^_~
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