"When I was a sophomore in college, I met this guy Paul. He was a
year older than I was, and he went to Boston University. I met him through
a couple of friends who said he was a great guy and we would be perfect for
each other." Sara sighed, not really wanting to relive the memories, but
knew she had to continue. She had to continue for Grissom.
"And we were really perfect for each other. He was really an outgoing guy, had tons of friends, partied hard, and not too bright. But he made me have fun in college. I mean, I traveled across the country to go to school at the most prestigious school in the nation. I didn't party my freshman year, I threw myself into my studies. But being with Paul made life so much fun. We would go to parties, go to sporting events, or just hang out with friends while watching movies or something. But it was always fun. And I helped him study a bit harder. After a while, he started getting better grades and enjoying school for the reason he was supposed to enjoy school. We brought out the best in each other. He was my first love."
Sara grimaced at the sound of that last sentence. Grissom noticed and looked at her curiously. "What's wrong with him being your first love?"
"It's not that. It's just that it sounds so melodramatic. 'My first love.'" Sara clasped her hands together and fluttered her eyelashes, and then proceeded to giggle .
Grissom chuckled at her. He had always loved her laugh, and her smile. 'If I could catch that smile and keep it when I desperately needed it, I would never, ever be in a bad mood,' he thought to himself as Sara clamed down.
Sara had realized that the slight humor of the situation had relaxed her from the nervous wreck she had been when she started the story, so she continued, "Anyway, he was my first love, and we were together half of my sophomore year, and then I moved into an apartment with him for my junior year. But the most important part of our relationship was that it had nothing to do with sex. I wanted to wait until I was ready, and in the beginning he was very respectful of my decision."
"As any man should be," Grissom added quietly, knowing exactly where this story was headed.
Sara just smiled slightly and delved straight into the story, "Soon he started getting anxious, and kept pushing. But I stood my ground. I was not ready to have sex with him. And soon it got to the point where I would have to sleep on the couch so that I could sleep without him groping me in the middle of the night." Grissom reached over and pulled her to him, her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, and his arm rubbing small circles on her left arm. After a few moments, she continued, "Then, one night, he came home from a friend's house and we decided to have a few drinks before bed. Stupid me, I let him fix my drink for me, and he slipped something into it and I was out like a light."
Tears were beginning to dampen Grissom's shirt, and he just held her tighter as he calmed her, "Sara, you weren't stupid. I'm sure he had fixed you lots of drinks in the past. You trusted him."
"I know that, but I should have realized that I couldn't trust him."
"But you were in a relationship with him. And a relationship is based on trust, Sara. It was your instinct to trust him to make you a drink and not drug you." Grissom reached down with his right hand and turned her to face him, her face cupped in both of his hands. "You did nothing wrong, Sara, nothing."
All Sara could do was stare at Grissom, the tears falling freely down her face. When she averted her eyes downward, she began the conclusion of her story, "When I woke up in the morning, I was groggy and sore, but I couldn't figure out why. When I realized what had most likely happened, I packed up my stuff and left before he got home from work. I never saw him again."
Grissom coerced her to look at him when he asked his next question. "Did you ever report it?"
"I didn't remember a thing, so, no, I never reported it. At that point, I knew nothing about 'the clock' and DNA proving rape, and I figured no one was going believe some girl who walked into the police station and said she thought that her boyfriend drugged and raped her. And date rapists were never convicted back then. So I just stayed quiet, no one has ever known." And with that, Sara began sobbing into Grissom's chest as he held her as tightly as he could.
When she had calmed down enough for him to speak so she could hear him, he whispered in her ear, "This is the first time you have ever let anyone comfort you, isn't it?"
Sara pulled back and looked into his eyes. She nodded slightly and spoke quietly, "I've never trusted anyone enough to tell to story to. I was always afraid that someone would think of me as some porcelain doll, or even worse, completely stupid for not reporting the crime. Not remembering the whole incident really helped me get on with my life, and once I started in forensics, well, I figured I could help other girls get justice, even if I couldn't."
She paused and collected herself before continuing, "Two weeks ago, when the Shannon case came in, I started that case like I would every other sexual assault case. But as I kept learning more and more about her, her case became my case, except that she died. And it made me think that I was so lucky not to be dead. I have no idea what Paul gave me that night. But it could have killed me. So in my mind, solving this case would be like solving mine. Kerrigan and her family and friends would get the justice they deserved, and knowing that I could have given it to them, well, would have given me justice as well. Unfortunately, none of us got the justice we deserved, and now the case is just another unsolved puzzle we can turn to when we're bored, or it's a slow night."
Sara got up and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, signaling the end of her story. Grissom followed her and watched her as she filled a glass and drank half of it. When she set the glass down, he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. She leaned back into his chest, as he whispered in her ear, "Sara, you can always trust me. Never think that you can't tell me something. I'll always be here for you. I do love you."
Sara turned around in his arms and looked into his eyes. "I love you too, Griss. I always have, and I think I always will." She smiled at him as she leaned into him. Their lips brushed in a somewhat chaste kiss before tentatively increasing the passion behind the kiss. It was not an earth shattering kiss, but one filled with tenderness and comfort, pushing the painful memories revealed that morning back into the recesses of their minds, and filling their minds with love for each other.
When they pulled apart, somewhat breathlessly, all they could do was look into each other's and smile. Grissom was the first to speak, "I think I should be going. I have to work tonight and I do need sleep."
Sara still did not want to be alone, however, and looked at him shyly and asked, "Can you stay here?"
At his questioning glance at her, she told him exactly what she needed. "I mean, well, I still don't want to be alone. And I want to sleep with you. Uh, I meant, go to sleep with you."
Grissom decided that she was cute when she was flustered, and cupped her face in his hands again, and said, "I would love to. I don't think I want to go to bed alone today either."
She smiled, leaned forward, and gave him a small kiss. Then she grabbed one of his hands from her face and pulled him towards her bedroom. Once inside, she grabbed some pajamas and walked into her bathroom to change. He stripped down to his boxers and his undershirt while she was in the bathroom and climbed into her bed. When she came out, she crawled right in next to him, spooning her back against his front. He kissed her neck and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush up against him, and both, exhausted from the morning they had, fell asleep, looking forward to what tomorrow would bring them.
"And we were really perfect for each other. He was really an outgoing guy, had tons of friends, partied hard, and not too bright. But he made me have fun in college. I mean, I traveled across the country to go to school at the most prestigious school in the nation. I didn't party my freshman year, I threw myself into my studies. But being with Paul made life so much fun. We would go to parties, go to sporting events, or just hang out with friends while watching movies or something. But it was always fun. And I helped him study a bit harder. After a while, he started getting better grades and enjoying school for the reason he was supposed to enjoy school. We brought out the best in each other. He was my first love."
Sara grimaced at the sound of that last sentence. Grissom noticed and looked at her curiously. "What's wrong with him being your first love?"
"It's not that. It's just that it sounds so melodramatic. 'My first love.'" Sara clasped her hands together and fluttered her eyelashes, and then proceeded to giggle .
Grissom chuckled at her. He had always loved her laugh, and her smile. 'If I could catch that smile and keep it when I desperately needed it, I would never, ever be in a bad mood,' he thought to himself as Sara clamed down.
Sara had realized that the slight humor of the situation had relaxed her from the nervous wreck she had been when she started the story, so she continued, "Anyway, he was my first love, and we were together half of my sophomore year, and then I moved into an apartment with him for my junior year. But the most important part of our relationship was that it had nothing to do with sex. I wanted to wait until I was ready, and in the beginning he was very respectful of my decision."
"As any man should be," Grissom added quietly, knowing exactly where this story was headed.
Sara just smiled slightly and delved straight into the story, "Soon he started getting anxious, and kept pushing. But I stood my ground. I was not ready to have sex with him. And soon it got to the point where I would have to sleep on the couch so that I could sleep without him groping me in the middle of the night." Grissom reached over and pulled her to him, her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, and his arm rubbing small circles on her left arm. After a few moments, she continued, "Then, one night, he came home from a friend's house and we decided to have a few drinks before bed. Stupid me, I let him fix my drink for me, and he slipped something into it and I was out like a light."
Tears were beginning to dampen Grissom's shirt, and he just held her tighter as he calmed her, "Sara, you weren't stupid. I'm sure he had fixed you lots of drinks in the past. You trusted him."
"I know that, but I should have realized that I couldn't trust him."
"But you were in a relationship with him. And a relationship is based on trust, Sara. It was your instinct to trust him to make you a drink and not drug you." Grissom reached down with his right hand and turned her to face him, her face cupped in both of his hands. "You did nothing wrong, Sara, nothing."
All Sara could do was stare at Grissom, the tears falling freely down her face. When she averted her eyes downward, she began the conclusion of her story, "When I woke up in the morning, I was groggy and sore, but I couldn't figure out why. When I realized what had most likely happened, I packed up my stuff and left before he got home from work. I never saw him again."
Grissom coerced her to look at him when he asked his next question. "Did you ever report it?"
"I didn't remember a thing, so, no, I never reported it. At that point, I knew nothing about 'the clock' and DNA proving rape, and I figured no one was going believe some girl who walked into the police station and said she thought that her boyfriend drugged and raped her. And date rapists were never convicted back then. So I just stayed quiet, no one has ever known." And with that, Sara began sobbing into Grissom's chest as he held her as tightly as he could.
When she had calmed down enough for him to speak so she could hear him, he whispered in her ear, "This is the first time you have ever let anyone comfort you, isn't it?"
Sara pulled back and looked into his eyes. She nodded slightly and spoke quietly, "I've never trusted anyone enough to tell to story to. I was always afraid that someone would think of me as some porcelain doll, or even worse, completely stupid for not reporting the crime. Not remembering the whole incident really helped me get on with my life, and once I started in forensics, well, I figured I could help other girls get justice, even if I couldn't."
She paused and collected herself before continuing, "Two weeks ago, when the Shannon case came in, I started that case like I would every other sexual assault case. But as I kept learning more and more about her, her case became my case, except that she died. And it made me think that I was so lucky not to be dead. I have no idea what Paul gave me that night. But it could have killed me. So in my mind, solving this case would be like solving mine. Kerrigan and her family and friends would get the justice they deserved, and knowing that I could have given it to them, well, would have given me justice as well. Unfortunately, none of us got the justice we deserved, and now the case is just another unsolved puzzle we can turn to when we're bored, or it's a slow night."
Sara got up and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, signaling the end of her story. Grissom followed her and watched her as she filled a glass and drank half of it. When she set the glass down, he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. She leaned back into his chest, as he whispered in her ear, "Sara, you can always trust me. Never think that you can't tell me something. I'll always be here for you. I do love you."
Sara turned around in his arms and looked into his eyes. "I love you too, Griss. I always have, and I think I always will." She smiled at him as she leaned into him. Their lips brushed in a somewhat chaste kiss before tentatively increasing the passion behind the kiss. It was not an earth shattering kiss, but one filled with tenderness and comfort, pushing the painful memories revealed that morning back into the recesses of their minds, and filling their minds with love for each other.
When they pulled apart, somewhat breathlessly, all they could do was look into each other's and smile. Grissom was the first to speak, "I think I should be going. I have to work tonight and I do need sleep."
Sara still did not want to be alone, however, and looked at him shyly and asked, "Can you stay here?"
At his questioning glance at her, she told him exactly what she needed. "I mean, well, I still don't want to be alone. And I want to sleep with you. Uh, I meant, go to sleep with you."
Grissom decided that she was cute when she was flustered, and cupped her face in his hands again, and said, "I would love to. I don't think I want to go to bed alone today either."
She smiled, leaned forward, and gave him a small kiss. Then she grabbed one of his hands from her face and pulled him towards her bedroom. Once inside, she grabbed some pajamas and walked into her bathroom to change. He stripped down to his boxers and his undershirt while she was in the bathroom and climbed into her bed. When she came out, she crawled right in next to him, spooning her back against his front. He kissed her neck and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush up against him, and both, exhausted from the morning they had, fell asleep, looking forward to what tomorrow would bring them.