This chapter is dedicated to Saro, Dark Kitsune, Thunk, and everyone else who's been encouraging me these past few weeks. You all rock!
Whee! Sorry I haven't updated in forever, it's been a challenging few weeks/months ^_^;;; But never fear, I will finish what I've started! This is a transition chapter but it's a necessary evil – only two more chapters to go, unless I get some additional inspiration (any would-be muses out there? leave me a review with your idea! Also open to ideas for spin-off fics! :D)
Also, for those of you who were wondering about the relationship between Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's mothers...you'll get your answer soon ^_~
"Aiiip!" one pained yip.
"OW!" an angry squeal.
A very soggy woman shuffled her way down the veranda, dragging two equally soaked puppies with her. Inuyasha whimpered, trying to keep up with her powerful strides. You wouldn't think a lady could move so fast under so many layers of silk (and mud), but his momma never failed to surprise. His arm ached where her now-less-than-immaculate fingernails bit into the skin, and he knew she wasn't about to let up any time soon.
"You boys should know better!" she hissed, sweeping past curious servants. "That was very dangerous of you two, and I can't believe that…"
He tried to tune her out again but it only worked so well--she was screeching loud enough to wake the dead. Inuyasha leaned forward and tried to catch his brother's eye, but Sesshoumaru didn't seem to be paying much attention...at least, not to anything but his ear. Said ear was currently in the famed Iron Grip of Inuyasha's mother, who wasn't likely to let go any time soon.
They were rounding the corner into the Eastern corridor, and all too soon they would be in front of their Father…and then…Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of all the things he liked about the outdoors. He doubted he'd see anything but the study room walls for a looooong, long time.
"And another thing—" his mother huffed, clearly not about to let up any time soon. "I can't believe that…oh my." Her words snapped off and she stopped so abruptly that Inuyasha almost toppled over, still expecting her strong grip to be pulling him onward.
"Huh?" he murmured, hardly daring to hope…
"What on earth is going on here?" Sesshoumaru's mother intoned dryly, peering down her nose at the filthy trio.
"Ah, my lady…" Inuyasha's mother breathed, bowing low. "I was merely taking these boys to—"
"Sesshoumaru!" Lady Oiichi barked, surprise flashing across her porcelain face. "Whatever happened to your clothes?" She sniffed delicately, obviously trying to place the swampy odor hanging around her pup.
"HE made me! It was his fault we were in the pond." Sesshoumaru accused. Lady Oiichi's eyes softened immediately, bending down to examine her child.
"Oh, my poor baby! That must have been awful…" She ruffled his hair awkwardly, before turning to the human. "But you know he can't swim very well! How could you let him near the water?" she growled. "The poor darling must have been scared senseless!"
"My lady, I never intended—"
Inuyasha ground his teeth and dug his nails into his palm, trying to stay silent. It just wasn't fair that his big brother could get away with this stuff. Leave it him to blame someone else for his ruined clothes, even though he was the one who'd shoved the barrel into the pond in the first place. Who knew they'd have to crawl in there and fish it out? And besides, his mom would never let him off with a lame excuse like that…he was even more annoyed to see the smug look on his brother's face. It just wasn't fair.
"—but my baby is so delicate!" the full demon continued, undaunted by the human's protests. "His poor widdle lungs could have—"
"MOM!" Sesshoumaru yipped, tugging at her sleeve. Getting him out of Trouble was one thing…but this was just downright embarrassing. Inuyasha grinned and stuck out his tongue. "C'mon, that's enough, Mom!" Sesshoumaru whined.
"Yes, sweetheart?" Oiichi turned suddenly, ignoring yet another frantic explanation from Inuyasha's mother.
"Umm, can I go out and play now?" Sesshoumaru asked sweetly. Inuyasha couldn't help but cringe at how syrupy his brother's voice was. "I could use a break from my studies, I've been working all daaaay..." he wheedled.
"Well, let's see…weren't you already outside for a while?" the Lady asked sweetly. "With the hanyou, right?"
"Yeah!" Sesshoumaru chirped, giving her his best impression of a Perfect Little Angel. "We had lots of fun playing Dragons and Demons…" he lied.
"Oh, is that so…" Lady Oiichi mused.
Her eyes turned steely.
"And what have I told you about playing with half-breeds?!" Oiichi snapped, baring her teeth. Both puppies tried to hide behind Inuyasha's mother.
"Well?!"
"Uhhh…don't do it?" Sesshoumaru replied hopefully.
"Then WHY DID YOU!?" she howled, sounding more like a typhoon than a dog demon. Sesshoumaru yelped and futilely attempted to cover his ears. "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times--"
"Wrong answer, dummy!" Inuyasha giggled. His mother squeezed his shoulder sharply, and he shut up almost immediately. Her lips were pressed together so tightly that they'd almost disappeared into a single, disapproving line. Interestingly enough, she seemed to be directing that anger at Lady Oiichi.
"And you--!" Lady Oiichi snarled, narrowing her eyes at Inuyasha. "Getting my boy into trouble like that! You sniveling mutt, I really ought to—"
"Wait just a minute, my lady!" Inuyasha's mother interrupted. "I know you were at court today, but you should know that it was your son who trespassed into the women's quarter in the first place!"
"Sesshoumaru!!" the lady barked, clearly surprised. The mournful look on his face was all the proof she needed. "Well, I never!" Lady Oiichi huffed. "It must have been that hanyou's fault, wasn't it?"
Sesshoumaru nodded vigorously. Inuyasha shook his head.
"What an ill-behaved son of a--! Well, at least it isn't catching." Lady Oiichi sniffed, staring directly at the human woman. "I'd never live it down if my son were such a hooligan!"
"At least Inuyasha doesn't have a vocabulary that would make a porter blush!" Inuyasha's mother hissed. "You know what he called me earlier?! A bloody human bi--"
"Never! My angel wouldn't dare, he must have learned it from your ill-bred little--"
"Oh yeah?! He's constantly skipping his protocol lessons, according to Michitsune! Unlike MY boy, who--"
"What was that?!" Sesshoumaru's mother rasped. "I'll have you know that--oh, pardon me!" She moved aside so quickly that she nearly knocked her own pup over. "My apologies, Lord!" she said demurely, averting her eyes from the figure entering the hallway.
"Hello ladies!" Inutaishou greeted happily as he approached his happy little family. "And how is everyone on this fine afternoon?"
The women wheeled on him simultaneously, ready to attack.
"YOUR SON is getting into trouble again!" they snarled as one.
"Huh?" the lord blinked, eyeing the women warily. Whenever the boys started being "his" son, he knew he was in for it. Why me? he thought sadly. All I wanted was a walk in the garden…
Both women began explaining at once.
"Will you tell your son—"
"—to stop wrecking the playroom?! They woke me up—"
"—they threw me in the lake! Just look at this mud! You have to—"
"Give them a good bite, why don't you? I would—"
"SEND THEM TO THEIR ROOMS!" they finished triumphantly. Inutaishou staggered backwards in spite of himself.
The brothers looked up at him mournfully.
"Now, ladies…" he began lamely. "Pups will be pups, after all…"
"Well, I certainly didn't cause this much uproar when I was young!" Sesshoumaru's mother sniffed.
"Look at my robes! They're ruined!" Inuyasha's mother whimpered. She shivered a little, though it might have as easily been from the effort of hanging onto Sesshoumaru as from the cold…he was straining against her grip even though it obviously hurt his ear. Inuyasha was faintly amused to see tears running down his big brother's face. "How am I going to get this mud out?!"
"Now dear, we can always get you a new one…" Father reached for the human, and his youkai wife snarled.
"Oh we can, can we?!" she mocked. "I seem to recall you told me I couldn't get a new ceremonial frock until next season! YOU said it was too expensive."
"But sweetheart, that was made of pure gold…"
"I don't care! How can you tell that trollop she deserves a new kimono when I—"
"Trollop!?" Soaked or not, Inuyasha's mother wasn't about to take that comment lying down. She swelled up like a cat, shoving her soggy bangs violently to one side to meet her opponent's gaze. "With all due respect, my lady, I think you can take your kimono and put it where…"
"Uh-oh…" Sesshoumaru breathed. Inuyasha echoed the sentiment. So did Father, for that matter…he was starting to look very frightened.
"N-now ladies…" Father raised his hands in peace-making stance even as the women were squaring off for a proper cat fight.
"Mom?" Inuyasha asked as she shoved him aside, pushing her sleeves back.
"Step aside, Sesshoumaru!" Lady Oiichi sniffed, unsheathing her claws.
"Dad, what do you think we should—" Sesshoumaru began, just as Inuyasha's mother launched herself at the other woman.
"W-why don't you boys go out and play or something?" the Great Lord stammered.
"But momma said we had to talk to you about the pickle—" Inuyasha pointed out dutifully.
"Just get out of here!" Father snapped, eyes flashing red.
"Y-yessir!" Sesshoumaru yipped and dashed down the hallway, dragging his brother with him.
"Idiot!" Sesshoumaru hissed when they were finally out of earshot. "You don't remind him you were supposed to get punished!"
"But momma said we had to talk to Dad before--"
"Forget about it! Let's get out of here!!!!"
Inuyasha spared one last glance for his father as they dove around the west corner. Women were definitely more trouble than they were worth. He'd never bother keeping any of them around when he grew up.
A short while later, the boys were back in the woods again, as far from females as humanly (or demon-ly ^_~) possible.
"Owww…" Sesshoumaru whimpered dramatically, sprawled across the dirt floor of the Boy's Klub Moat. Inuyasha scowled and flipped a clod of dirt his way.
"At least you didn't get a spankin'!" the hanyou snapped. His hind was going to be sore for days.
"At least you didn't get your ears pulled!" his brother retorted, rubbing his head. "You hanyou have it easy, you don't nearly have the delicate features that we full demons—"
"Ah, shaddup." Inuyasha sighed. For once, it just wasn't worth fighting about.
Blissful silence, at least for a few minutes.
"Hey, Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru's voice sounded odd.
"Hrn?"
"What d'you think happens when somebody likes you?"
"Huh?" Now there was something new…since when did Sesshoumaru ever ask him questions? (Well, besides "are you gonna finish that rice cake?" or "hey, how do you think we can hide this?") It had to be a trick or something.
"What do you mean?" the hanyou asked, slightly suspicious.
"Oh you know…" Sesshoumaru waved one hand nonchalantly. "That stuff your mom always says she'll tell you about when you get older."
Inuyasha nodded. He knew that line. Momma used it a lot when she told him about the Ladies' Quarter. Still, he had to Contribute something, so…
"Umm…well, I think when you like somebody you get all mushy at them. Like, give 'em flowers and stuff." Inuyasha speculated.
Sesshoumaru's eyebrow twitched. Interesting…
"And then maybe you H-U-G them or K-I-S-S them." the hanyou continued, keeping one eye trained on his brother's expression. Sesshoumaru's eyebrow twitched again. Inuyasha decided to go for the gold.
"And my mom says that when you really, really like somebody then you make a baby with them."
"You what?!" Sesshoumaru yelped, bolting upright.
"Yeah…didn't your momma tell you?" the hanyou asked in genuine surprise.
"Tell me what?"
"Where babies come from!"
"N-not really." Sesshoumaru's cheeks were a faint red—no doubt embarrassed by his lack of knowledge. "All my mom ever said was that you were an accident." He swiveled around to face his brother before whispering, "D-did she tell you how it works?"
I know something you don't know! Inuyasha nearly bounced up and down with glee. This was just too great! The hanyou tried desperately to think what his mom had told him.
"Well, let's see…first, you have to really, really like someone…urm, and then there's something about some bees you have to find…"
"Bees?" Sesshoumaru asked skeptically.
"Yeah, on account of the birds an' the bees!" the hanyou continued self-importantly. "The birds are the stork demons, 'cause they're the ones that show up and bring the baby."
"I thought you said you made the baby." Sesshoumaru huffed. "You're just telling stories."
"No, I swear!" Inuyasha growled, rolling closer to his brother. "You, uh, tell the stork demons to get you a baby and they bring it to you in nine months!"
"And where do they get these babies from, huh?" his brother sneered.
"Uh…the cabbage patch? There's a lady who sits there and watches 'em til they're almost ripe. Then the stork demons bring 'em to you and they grow a little more. Which is why they look kinda like squashed tomatoes for a while."
Sesshoumaru was silent.
"Sesshoumaru?"
"No…" the full demon breathed, rocking back on his heels. "No WAY am I having some damn baby!"
"But you are! Yasuka likes you!" Inuyasha teased. "And she's gonna give you a puppy!"
"S-she can't do that!" Sesshoumaru growled. "I won't let her!"
"Maybe she could anyway…if I was an ax-cident, she could ax-cidently make a baby for you too." Inuyasha grinned, flipping a clod of dirt at his frazzled sibling. Sesshoumaru didn't even bother to fling acid back.
"Then I have to make sure she has an 'accident'!" Sesshoumaru hissed, flexing his claws. "And the storks can just take the damn baby back!"
Ooh, again with the "damn". Inuyasha would have been impressed, but the rabid look in his half-brother's eyes was getting a little worrisome.
"What do you mean, 'make sure she has an accident'? Sesshoumaru?" No response. Inuyasha panicked. He didn't like girls much either, but he was pretty sure Dad wouldn't be very happy if they Killed any. They were already in enough trouble as it was for soaking his mother.
"Wait!" Sesshoumaru barked, rocketing to his feet. "So get this: Yasuka started L-I-K-I-N-G me when you screwed up the flower thing, right?"
"Hey! I didn't screw up, you told me to—"
"So if we give her something else, she might UNlike me!" Sesshoumaru continued. He was pacing now, and his eyes had gone straight past "enthusiastic" and right into "stark, raving mad". Inuyasha whimpered.
"Can't do snakes, they get away. Can't use scorpions, mom doesn't want 'em in the house…"
Suddenly, he stopped stock still. His fevered gaze zeroed in on Inuyasha.
"What's the best way to get rid of somebody who likes you?" he breathed softly, stalking closer in the pregnant pause. The question hung in the air, not quite a threat and not quite a warning. Inuyasha fought the urge to shiver and duck away. His big brother couldn't possibly be talking about—
"Well, you scare 'em, of course!" Sesshoumaru yapped happily, completing his sentence at last.
"You do?" the hanyou replied warily. They were definitely treading in dangerous waters if Sesshoumaru was answering his own questions, but he was still relieved. Sometimes he couldn't tell if his brother was joking when he started talking about cutting off sou—er, topknots, and striking fear into souls.
"Yeah, you scare 'em." his brother continued self-importantly. "You scare 'em real good, so they never play with you again. That way, even if they still L-I-K-E you they can't give you any babies."
"How you gonna do that?" Inuyasha scowled. "You didn't scare her at ALL as a big-dog! She thought you were cute!" He stuck out his tongue emphatically. "And besides," the puppy leered, "she can always scritch your ears…"
"Shut up!" Sesshoumaru growled, pacing back and forth. "I'm thinking, okay?"
"Ummm…" a soft voice interrupted.
"Huh?" both brothers said as one. They instantly craned their necks up to find the source of the voice. There, peering over the edge of the Moat was--
"Y-Yasuka!" Sesshoumaru yelped, turning a very interesting shade of white. "W-what are you…?"
"Forgive me for intruding, my lord!" Yasuka murmured softly. "I didn't mean to interrupt your…" her pink eyes flickered around hesitantly, "well, whatever exactly it is that you're doing here, but…"
"So why did you?" Inuyasha asked, genuinely curious.
Yasuka shifted above them, temporarily blocking the sunlight as she moved something closer to the edge. "If it pleases, Lord, I've brought you a small token of my affliction…" Harsh whispers rasped from somewhere behind her. "Er, my affection, that is." She corrected apologetically, bowing out of habit. Inuyasha climbed to his feet and squinted, trying to make out the thing she was holding. It looked sort of like a small pillow, or maybe a pouch…wrapped in a very elaborate ceremonial cloth too. There was something familiar about that sort of bundle…
"Hey, whaddya think that—" Inuyasha stopped short, startled to see the horrified expression on his brother's face.
"No." Sesshoumaru whispered in a very small voice. "She didn't…"
"Sesshoumaru-sama…" the girl whispered reverently. "I humbly ask for you to accept this unworthy one's meager offering." She lifted the bundle and leaned downward. The cloth shifted slightly, as if it were reaching for the boys...
"RUN FOR IT!" Sesshoumaru squealed, leaping for the back wall of the Moat. He scaled it almost immediately, tearing large holes in the packed dirt where his scrabbling claws found purchase. Inuyasha wasn't far behind. Just knowing that something in the area could frighten his brother made him scared out of his wits.
"My lord?" Yasuka queried softly, but the boys were already far into the forest and not slowing down.
"Aw, so the puppies didn't wanna stay for a picnic…" Michiru grinned wolfishly, stepping out of the shadows to join Yasuka.
"Lady Michiru?" Yasuka asked, small tears blossoming in her eyes. She dropped her package in front of the purple-haired girl and stared upward expectantly.
"Don't worry about 'em." the older demon advised, stooping down to pick up the bundle of snack cakes. "If they don't wanna any, their loss."
"But…" Yasuka whimpered, staring at the retreating princes.
"They'll get over it eventually." Michiru noted. She moved the protective cloth away and snuck a sweet bun out from under the elaborate gift wrap. "They'll stop running from women in a few years, I think."
Staccato yips pierced the forest, disturbing a flock of crows.
"…Or when they run into the bramble thicket. Here, have a bean-bun."
Yasuka was still upset, but she accepted the snack anyway.
"Sesshoumaru-sama…" she whispered, staring off into the woods.
Meanwhile, Inuyasha had discovered yet another reason his brother's dorky hand-me-downs weren't so bad after all: Sesshoumaru seemed to be having a particularly difficult time negotiating the thorn bushes in his silken court robes, but Inuyasha had no trouble with the coarser wool his pants were made of.
"Ow ow ow ow ow!!!" Sesshoumaru snarled, melting the thorn bushes in frustration.
"Why are we running anyways?!" Inuyasha panted, gingerly removing a particularly clingy vine from his hair. "I thought you wanted to make her Un-like you?"
"But she had a baby with her!" his brother retorted, disgusted. "S-she could have…" He trailed off and slashed at another bush, trying to block it out. The thought was almost too horrible to complete.
Inuyasha cleaved another vine with his tiny claws. "A baby? But it sure didn't smell like a—"
"No doubt about it!" Sesshoumaru continued, oblivious. "It's even worse than I thought, she wants to have kids! And maybe even M-A-R-I-A-G-E…" he misspelled.
Inuyasha thought for a second. When you Married somebody, then you were a Daddy (or a Mommy) and then you had to yell at people just for having a little, innocent fun with a scorpion. Or you had to stay inside at dumb meetings and never do any fun stuff. "Wow…" he breathed, pausing in his assault on the nearest thorn bush. It whipped back and slapped him across the face.
"Yeah." Sesshoumaru remarked glumly, half-heartedly poking at another plant.
"Well, what if she Un-likes you?" Inuyasha persisted, flicking a thorny branch toward his sibling. "Wouldn't that fix it?"
"But if we get too close she'll try to give me that…thing…" the full demon shuddered. "I don't want a puppy!" he whined. "I'm too young to grow up!"
"So? Make her Un-like you from far away!" Inuyasha replied happily.
"Oh really?" his brother's voice dripped disdain. "And how the heck am I gonna do that? It's not like I can sit back and tell her I don't Like her…"
"Why?"
"Uh, er…because it's probably in the Rules somewhere, or something." Sesshoumaru continued lamely.
"C'mon, you can't tell me—" Inuyasha protested.
"AndIdontwannaseeherrightnoweither." Sesshoumaru mumbled quickly, looking away.
"Oh." Inuyasha whimpered, deflating a bit. He couldn't believe it. His big brother was going to have to be a Daddy, and then they wouldn't ever get to play any more. Maybe he'd even have to baby-sit, which all the castle ladies complained about so much when he was around.
"Wait…" Sesshoumaru's eyes glittered strangely. "If I get him to help me, then we could—I'VE GOT IT!" he squealed happily.
"Huh?" Inuyasha asked, bewildered.
"I think I know how to make Yasuka Un-like me." Sesshoumaru grinned wickedly. "And I know just the person to help us…"
Preview for next chapter:
"Please?"
"No, m'lord, I cannot."
"But Jaaaaaken…"
Jaken sighed, looking over his charges wearily. Two round, honest faces peered up at him expectantly--so of course he was instantly distrustful. Big, shimmering puppy eyes never meant anything good, and two sets of them were even worse. What on earth is the young master up to? the kappa wondered, slightly annoyed. Especially with that sorry excuse of a hanyou!
"You know Dad's been telling us to practice!" Sesshoumaru continued in that wheedling tone only a young boy can produce. Jaken gripped his staff harder and fought the impulse to smack the pup with it.
"I really don't think it's appropriate." he finally stated. And it probably wasn't. The young master might be his social better, but he was three hundred years older and probably wiser. And it just wasn't right to turn kids loose with summoning spells if he didn't have the time (or the energy) to supervise them!
Besides, what could they possibly want with a couple hundred frog demons?
Response to Reviews:
There were too many to respond to individually, bless your hearts. I love you all!!!!!