Posh- Smart and fashionable.
Chromosome- any of several threadlike bodies, consisting of chromatin, that carry the genes in a linear order
Psychotically- characterized by or afflicted with psychosis
It was nighttime in Sunrise Springs. The crickets were singing, the moon was floating around being a moon, and the sheep had won their bid on the flameproof vests and were now standing around the mailbox waiting for them. A lone pear-shaped figure waddled out of a portal.
It was Moneybags!
"That darn Angry Mob!" he said, "I lost two and a half gems when they threw me off that cliff! Now I'm emotionally scarred for life! WhyI'll have to scam three dozen people to get it back!" he walked over to a little river and searched for gems in the water. "I might as well start looking for loose gems and get back to scamming." Moneybags stood up, unable to find any loose gems, and heard music. He turned around.
"Oh! A marching band! I love a good marching band!" He exclaimed gleefully. He stood and watched as the marching band came closer. "Wait a minute" Moneybags scratched his head, "Marching bands don't come to Sunrise Springs...or play in the middle of the night!" The marching band ripped off their uniforms to reveal that they were...
"AAAA! It's the Angry Mob in disguise!" screamed Moneybags. He turned and ran as fast as he could, which wasn't really that fast at all. The mob suddenly produced pitchforks and torches out of nowhere, and he heard Spyro yell:
"Remember! Today's drill is pursue and sack!"
Moneybags got as far as Midday Gardens when the Angry Mob caught up to him, then they trampled him. "YAAAHH!" hollered Moneybags, "They're wearing cleats!" After the mob trampled him, he looked sort of like a waffle.
Moneybags got up and ran off, only to get stuck in a tuba. No reason, really. The poor tuba just happened to be in the way. This is a good example of why marching bands, especially false marching bands, should store their instruments properly. Here, the mob grabbed him and loaded him into a cannon. The goat walked by again, whistling.
BOOM!
Moneybags zoomed through the air. The mob went back to Sunrise Springs and grabbed his bag of gems. "Good job class!" praised Spyro. "Now, what do you guys think we could do for a small celebration for a job well done?"
"I'm thinking Vegas!" exclaimed Hunter.
"That sounds good!" Spyro said. He ran off-screen for a moment and came back driving a tour bus. "Grab that bag of gems and get on! We're going on a road trip!" everyone got in the bus and Spyro drove them all to Las Vegas. They spent a week at a posh hotel, sold fake insurance, set loose twelve hundred irritable bees in a casino (The casino wouldn't allow fictional characters.), and routinely threw flaming toupees at bald people. The Angry Mob also received their official Angry Mob licenses!
Later that weekend
The flameproof vests didn't work. The sheep were angry and to keep them from going on strike I had to devote this entire paragraph to the positive promotion of sheep. Sheep are good. Sheep are our friends. We should like sheep. There! Are you happy?! You stupid little fluffy balls of brainless...sorry. I get carried away sometimes.
Anyhoo, after they returned from Nevada, the Angry Mob was sitting around a table playing poker. Bentley had already won the first five games and Agent 9 was going nuts. He eventually had to be sedated with a large mallet. Spyro came in. At about this time, the audience was experiencing feelings of suspense, excitement, and quite possibly indigestion.
"Guys! As far as you know, we are now an official Angry Mob!" he said. Since no one could dispute that, Spyro went on. "We've just got our first mission! We have to save Hunter from a duck!" He looked around for some sign of emotion.
"Spyro!" said Sheila, pushing a limp Agent 9 away from her cards, "How do you know what we're supposed to do in this story?"
"I read the script before I came in here." replied Spyro.
Ripto stood up and shouted "How come you get to see the script? Bribe the author or something!?"
Panthergirl appeared out of nowhere in particular to provide an answer. "No, I accidentally left my copy of the script lying on the ground." She snatched it off the floor "Besides, Spyro actually came to the rehearsals. I never saw you there once!" she said before returning to Reality Land.
Everyone grumbled. "Save Hunter from a duck?!" someone complained. "Why can't he just kick the duck over and walk away or something similar?" No one thought to ask how Hunter could possibly need rescuing from a duck when he had been with them the entire time. Nonetheless, everyone grumbled for a while before Spyro calmed them down.
"This duck...is an evil ghost duck." he said.
Everyone gasped. That changed everything! No one wanted to go battle the evil ghost duck. He had 'evil' and 'ghost' right in his name! "C'mon!" said Spyro. No one volunteered. "We'll go to Vegas again!" he offered.
"We were banned from Vegas!" said Bianca, arms crossed, "Because somebody had to go and..."
Agent 9 stood up indignantly. "Hey! If somebody had told me that wasn't a drive-in theater..."
"Be quiet!" yelled Spyro. "What if I let you ride motorcycles?" After a mad dash outside, everyone was seated on a motorcycle. "Ok... Let's go!" said Spyro. They zoomed out of their secret hideout. The goat walked by again, whistling.
In the pond beside the portal to glimmer there is an underwater tunnel. That underwater tunnel leads to a secret room. If you are currently stuck on this level, take a look in this tunnel. The Evil Ghost Duck, Moneybags, and Hunter stood at the top of the stairs.
Moneybags was nervous. He had never kidnapped anyone before. He looked out the window. Then he turned to the duck. "Oh, ghostly Duck! What are your intricate evil plans for this week?"
The duck, while sitting on his favorite log, replied "Quack." Moneybags gasped. Hunter looked up.
"What is it? What's he gonna do?!" he gasped.
"I don't know," said Moneybags. "I barely speak Duck. He either said we're going to crown you with a cake, or we're going to drown you in the lake."
Hunter sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he sat up straight in an attempt to appear heroic. "The Angry Mob will save me!" he shouted. "They've thrown you off a cliff before and they can do it again!"
Moneybags laughed. Yes, he laughed as only a twisted, demented, brain-cell deprived individual can laugh. "Ha! They can come up with something much more original than throwing me off a cliff." He went to go look out the window again.
"So why are you working for an evil ghost duck?"
The silence was loud...and silent. Off in the distance, Panthergirl was being chased by a herd of agitated sheep. Moneybags looked nervously at the duck, which was busy laying an egg. Strangely enough, no one realized that it is actually the female duck, not the male, which lays the eggs. Scientists came up with many different theories as to why this male duck was capable of laying eggs, including the possibilities that this duck could very well have an extra X chromosome, or that perhaps it could have descended from a seahorse. Later it was learned that the duck actually was female, but was cross-dressing as a male for political reasons, and the story was able to continue again.
"Because he promised me a whole mess of gems if I kidnapped you. It was that or he was telling me to go away." The duck got tired of the log and went to sit on a nearby beanbag chair.
"Quack." he said sagely. (Because the duck is supposedly pretending to be male, we will be applying masculine pronouns to her...er, him...for the time being.)
Suddenly, the sound of motorcycles filled the air. Hunter looked down into the pool, as the Angry Mob came splashing out of the water, removed their scuba gear, and charged up the stairs.
"YAAAHHHH!" yelled Moneybags as he ran to the window and jumped out, making the Angry Mob's job easier. The still-moist Angry Mob quickly untied Hunter and then stopped because the Evil Ghost Duck stood up and said 'quack'.
"YAAAHHH!" screamed the Angry Mob. The duck hurled an egg at them. An egg bomb! Not surprisingly, the egg failed to explode and the evil ghost duck realized he had thrown a regular egg and that she...he...himself was holding the actual bomb. It exploded on him and all her...his ghost feathers fell off. This little error greatly irritated the duck, and he took flight in the small room, quacking psychotically.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed the Angry Mob as they ran out of the room. They weren't frightened of the duck, as most people thought, they simply had no reason to hang around and wanted to leave in a dramatic fashion. However, they weren't very good at it.
Then the duck hopped up on the windowsill and flew south in order to visit a very well-known complaint department. The Angry Mob saw Moneybags on the way out and ran over him with their new motorcycles. Moneybags was scarred for life and the evil ghost duck eventually found a nice pond and went swimming.