CHAPTER TWO
6 and counting
Unfortunately, Harry's troubles were only just beginning. Hermoine interrogated him relentlessly on Ron's death. Harry glared at her over his cornflakes, and tried to figure out whether or not she was also Hedwig. He decided to kill her too, just in case. After the screaming stopped, he decided to flush her down a toilet. After the staff discovered her body, Moaning Myrtle was brought into custody for questioning.
Harry listened as they questioned her as to why Hermione's body was clogging the drain for the toilet. They kicked Myrtle out, and she slumped off, crying her ass off. Harry giggled and thought, I need to see more bloodshed... So he wandered around and found Neville.
He brought Neville to an empty hallway, telling him that he had a lot of secret candy. While Neville looked through a bag for candies, Harry pulled out a long, sharp butcher's knife and stabbed him in the back; Neville lay on the floor weeping until Harry lifted him up with winguardium leviosa and slammed him into the wall until his corpse fell to the floor, the face smashed in. Harry took the body to his dormitory and threw it out the window, he watched as it hit Hedwig's rotting body. Maybe life would be better if he had a dead fucked-up owl for a friend. The DFF(Dead Friends Forever) now. Who's next?
All alone in the Slytherin Common Room, Draco Malfoy was adoring himself in front of mirrors everywhere (summoned and bought from other Slytherins). Usually when he's alone, Handsome Draco adores "Draco Jr.".
"Oh yea! I'm too sexy for my pants! Hell! I'm too sexy for my clothing ya'll fanfic writers!!!"
So there Draco was, standing alone and modeling naked. Little did he know that someone else was there at that very moment.
"DIE MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!"
"What? Who said that? Show ya face!"
Unfortunately, Draco never saw the murderer's face. Only "Draco Jr." had.
"Hey"
Who ever knew that his ego can talk?
"Hey. YOU'RE the mother fucker bastard!!!! You just jealous of my sexaaaaay attire!! How the fuck you got into the SLYTHERIN Common Room?"
"Honestly!" said Harry," How clichéd can Slytherins be? Death Eater *snort*"
Then Harry took his trusty knife and stabbed Draco everywhere. Then he separated his "junior" and threw it to the corpses of Neville and Hedwig.
Soon after the untimely demise of Draco "the draco" Malfoy, Harry heard that Hagrid was suspected of foul play, after dead bodies were found on his grounds. Fuck that, he thought. He decided to spare Hagrid the torment of Azkaban, and kill him himself. After leaving the scene of the crime, he realized he was late for class! He couldn't have that, now, could he?? As he meandered through the hallways, students moved aside quickly, as he was giggling a bit too much, and his eyes had a strange glint. It must be exams coming up they thought. Not to mention the deaths of his friends. Poor Harry. Little did they know that he was at the center of it all.
Unfortunately, Harry's troubles were only just beginning. Hermoine interrogated him relentlessly on Ron's death. Harry glared at her over his cornflakes, and tried to figure out whether or not she was also Hedwig. He decided to kill her too, just in case. After the screaming stopped, he decided to flush her down a toilet. After the staff discovered her body, Moaning Myrtle was brought into custody for questioning.
Harry listened as they questioned her as to why Hermione's body was clogging the drain for the toilet. They kicked Myrtle out, and she slumped off, crying her ass off. Harry giggled and thought, I need to see more bloodshed... So he wandered around and found Neville.
He brought Neville to an empty hallway, telling him that he had a lot of secret candy. While Neville looked through a bag for candies, Harry pulled out a long, sharp butcher's knife and stabbed him in the back; Neville lay on the floor weeping until Harry lifted him up with winguardium leviosa and slammed him into the wall until his corpse fell to the floor, the face smashed in. Harry took the body to his dormitory and threw it out the window, he watched as it hit Hedwig's rotting body. Maybe life would be better if he had a dead fucked-up owl for a friend. The DFF(Dead Friends Forever) now. Who's next?
All alone in the Slytherin Common Room, Draco Malfoy was adoring himself in front of mirrors everywhere (summoned and bought from other Slytherins). Usually when he's alone, Handsome Draco adores "Draco Jr.".
"Oh yea! I'm too sexy for my pants! Hell! I'm too sexy for my clothing ya'll fanfic writers!!!"
So there Draco was, standing alone and modeling naked. Little did he know that someone else was there at that very moment.
"DIE MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!"
"What? Who said that? Show ya face!"
Unfortunately, Draco never saw the murderer's face. Only "Draco Jr." had.
"Hey"
Who ever knew that his ego can talk?
"Hey. YOU'RE the mother fucker bastard!!!! You just jealous of my sexaaaaay attire!! How the fuck you got into the SLYTHERIN Common Room?"
"Honestly!" said Harry," How clichéd can Slytherins be? Death Eater *snort*"
Then Harry took his trusty knife and stabbed Draco everywhere. Then he separated his "junior" and threw it to the corpses of Neville and Hedwig.
Soon after the untimely demise of Draco "the draco" Malfoy, Harry heard that Hagrid was suspected of foul play, after dead bodies were found on his grounds. Fuck that, he thought. He decided to spare Hagrid the torment of Azkaban, and kill him himself. After leaving the scene of the crime, he realized he was late for class! He couldn't have that, now, could he?? As he meandered through the hallways, students moved aside quickly, as he was giggling a bit too much, and his eyes had a strange glint. It must be exams coming up they thought. Not to mention the deaths of his friends. Poor Harry. Little did they know that he was at the center of it all.