Alaney didn't go straight to Catherine's that afternoon. She ended up at
Casey's instead. As Casey opened his door, he was greeted by a tearful and
heart broken Alaney. He had kind of been expecting her all day. He was glad
Alaney had chosen to come round and tell him exactly what happened when she
confronted Sara. Casey hugged her and then escorted her into his lounge.
"I'm sorry but you're the only person I can trust anymore!. I can't talk to any of my family because they're all in on it. Even some of my best friends are!. I'm one of Michelle's best friends and she didn't even tell me!. Even Catherine knows!" Alaney whaled.
Casey and Alaney talked for hours and hours. However within four hours Alaney had finally cried herself to sleep on Casey's chest. Casey just sat watching her, before the phone rang and distracted him. He gently moved Alaney's head onto the sofa as he got out of the way and answered the phone.
"Hello?" Casey answered.
"Oh hello. This is Catherine Willows. Is that Casey?" Catherine asked.
"Oh yeah. Alaney's told me all about you. Hi" Casey made conversation flippantly.
"Yeah. Umm Casey!. Alaney's meant to be at mine. I called her mom and she said Alaney left her nearly five hours ago!. I've been worried sick. Her mom gave me this number" Catherine lectured.
"Oh, of course!. Catherine, I'm so sorry!. Didn't she call you?. It's just because she's in such a muddle. Look she's asleep right now but I'll get her to yours within the hour. I promise. O.k?" Casey gestured.
"O.k" Catherine replied unpleased.
At five to nine Alaney finally knocked on Catherine's door in the pouring rain.
"Oh, you finally decided to make it then!. This is isn't a hotel you know, Laney!" Catherine lectured.
"Look if you don't want me here I'll go" Alaney bite back.
"Don't be cheeky. Get your ass inside right now. You're not going anywhere" Catherine replied still annoyed.
Alaney and Catherine sat round the kitchen table sipping hot drinks and talking. Alaney was back in tears again. Catherine had calmed down and was back in caring mode now.
"I thought I'd finally found a home and now it's all in pieces!" Alaney whined.
"You can stay here as long as you like" Catherine gestured.
"I'll pay you. Don't worry" Alaney gestured.
"No, don't be silly" Catherine responded.
"Sara said you'd been having financial difficulties" Alaney told her.
"Don't worry they're sorted. I had a win fall" Catherine replied.
"No I want to get a job. I need to have a reason to leave CSI for good" Alaney insisted.
"Alaney!" Catherine responded.
"I'm not working with her anymore!" Alaney responded.
"What about college?" Catherine reminded her.
"They only required I do two months there. I've done that. I can leave properly now" Alaney replied.
"If that's what you want. It's your decision. I just think you'll regret it. Can you do me a favour?. If your not going back to CSI tomorrow, can you watch Lindsay for me?. Her nanny's quit at the last minute. I'm sorry but it's an emergency. If I didn't have enough to deal with with you and Sara!" Catherine replied.
Alaney had an idea.
"I can do better than that!. I can be Lindsay's new nanny!" Alaney suggested excited.
"What?" Catherine responded.
"Oh come on Catherine!. I'm great with kids. I've grown up looking after kids all my life. She's ten so it's not like she needs too much looking after anyway. Plus Lindsay loves me doesn't she?. This way you don't pay for a nanny and I'm paying my way!. It's perfect!" Alaney argued.
"Umm. O.k" Catherine agreed deciding it was actually a good idea.
Catherine looked at Alaney's hair.
"Look at your hair. It's soaking!. I'll go get a towel" Catherine suggested.
Catherine got a towel and began drying Alaney's hair herself.
After a few moment of silence Alaney spoke,
"Catherine, if I tell you something do you promise you won't tell anyone else?" Alaney asked.
"Umm. O.k. Sure" Catherine responded.
"I'm not going to Harvard" Alaney confessed.
"What?. You didn't get in?. Oh angel, I'm sorry" Catherine gestured.
"No, I got in. That's the point" Alaney replied.
Alaney turned and faced Catherine.
"My whole life all I ever dreamed of was going to Harvard. But then when I came and stayed with Sara suddenly it became less important. I was living with my idol and furthermore I finally felt like I had a home. She felt like home to me. So when Harvard made me an offer - I turned it down. I'm going to Western Las Vegas University instead" Alaney sobbed.
"What!" Catherine exclaimed.
"Well, that way I could still be a CSI because you and Warrick went there and your CSIs. Plus I got to be near Sara. Even if she didn't want me to live with her - I could still have a place nearby to call home - hopefully. I could have a base. I could be near her. I felt like I'd missed out on so many years of just knowing her and that this way I could catch up on some of that time. And now all that's fallen apart and I can't go to Harvard anymore!" Alaney explained sobbing.
"It doesn't have to have fallen apart" Catherine argued.
"It does" Alaney affirmed.
"Oh Alaney. You poor thing. I'm so sorry" Catherine commented.
"You see that's the difference. When faced with the choice between Sara and Harvard I chose Sara. And I didn't even know she was my mom!. When faced with the same choice, Sara chose Harvard over me. She chose Harvard over her own daughter" Alaney whined.
"I'm sure it wasn't like that. The way I hear she didn't even get a choice in the matter. Her parents just took you away and didn't ask her if she wanted you" Catherine argued.
"Yeah well that might be true but then again knowing her it might now. It doesn't even matter if they did or didn't - she didn't want me even they had asked" Alaney reminded her.
"Could you have brought up a kid at 14 with no help then?" Catherine accused.
"No. That's why I never put myself in that position at 14!" Alaney replied.
Catherine wanted to say the truth, but it wasn't her place.
"You know I've never seen Sara so happy as when you came along to live with her. You've changed her life for the better. She's so happy all the time" Catherine told Alaney.
"She should have thought about that before. It's too late!" Alaney told Catherine.
Catherine felt sad about this.
Alaney sighed.
"Do you know the main reason I liked Sara so much?. It wasn't just because she was clever and smart and sophisticated. It was because out of all the adults I knew she was the last person who could be my mom. Not just because of her age but also because I thought she was the only person who would never abandon a baby. I know she wasn't good with kids but I thought she was just too compassionate. She usually puts such a high regard on human life. Her dad's been beating her mom for years and Sara hates him, and yet Sara still doesn't believe in killing violent husbands or her dad. Sara believes that there's always another way. There's jail, temporary unconsciousness or something. Unless your life is in immediate danger and there's no other way to save it then you should never kill anyone. Now I don't know what to believe. I can't believe she's capable of deserting a helpless baby!" Alaney confessed.
Catherine was speechless.
After a few moments of silence, as Catherine took this in, Alaney spoke.
"Can I go out?" Alaney asked.
"What?. You wanna go out tonight of all nights?. You were upset a minute ago" Catherine responded.
"I need a distraction" Alaney explained.
Catherine sighed.
"Of course. You don't need to ask!. I just want to know where you are and what time your coming back that's all" Catherine agreed.
"I don't know quite yet. I'm going to go somewhere with Casey. I'll call you and tell you where I am though" Alaney told her.
"Thank you" Catherine replied.
"I'll probably be back at three am though. But don't worry I'll be up and about ready to look after Lindsay when you go to work tomorrow evening. I just need a distraction" Alaney told her.
Catherine hugged Alaney and kissed her on the forehead.
"Have a good night. There's a key for you to keep outside on the table by the door. Please be quiet when you come in" Catherine gestured.
"Of course. Goodnight Catherine and - Thanks" Alaney agreed.
"Remember to get some sleep, O.K.?. I'm so glad your safe" Catherine gestured.
"Goodnight" Alaney added.
Alaney got dressed up and went round to Casey's. He opened the door and was surprised to see her.
"We're living in 'America's adult playground' and you haven't even given me the guided tour. What do you say to taking my mind off things and painting the town red?" Alaney asked playfully.
"I'll go get changed" Casey smiled.
A few miles across town, Sara was painting the town Red herself. Or maybe we should say Blue. She sat in a bar drowning her sorrows and downing her sixth scotch. A young man, handsome and in his mid thirties approached her.
"That isn't a very lady like drink" the guy commented playfully.
"No thank you I'm not interested. I'm mourning" Sara replied depressed and drunk.
"I noticed. I'm not here to chat you up. Don't get me wrong your gorgeous but it's just not appropriate with the state your in. For now, I'm here to help. But don't worry once your sober I'll be there with all the cheesy chat up lines. For a start, I'm going to stop you having another drink" Matt replied.
He took her new drink away from her.
"Now do you want to talk to me rather than the drink?" Matt asked.
He offered her his hand to shake.
"Matt Colgan" Matt introduced himself.
"Sara Sidle" Sara responded and drunkenly shook his hand.
"And what do you do as a job 'Matt Colgan'?" Sara asked.
"I'm a fireman" Matt replied.
"Oh my brother is a fireman" Sara responded drunkenly excited.
"Oh does he live here?. Maybe I know him" Matt replied.
"No, San Francisco" Sara told him looking away.
"Lovely place. You from there?" Matt tried to regain her attention.
"Near there. I actually worked there for a few years too" Sara told him.
"Listen, I should tell you now before you get your hopes up. If you knew what I'd done you wouldn't want to be talking to me. You may as well save yourself the trouble and go now" Sara suggested.
"What you done?. You murdered someone?" Matt joked.
"Practically. I took away their life" Sara replied drunkenly.
"As long you're not a serial killer I don't care. Whose life you take away?" Matt responded.
"I don't want to talk about it" Sara told him
"O.k." Matt understood.
"I got rid of my baby" She sobbed into his arm drunkenly.
"Oh, that's why you're in a state. You had an abortion - and your regretting it. Is this what this is all about?. I don't think your a bad person at all. It's your choice no one else's - except the father's. Does he know?" Matt guessed.
Sara nodded through tears.
"He told me to get rid of 'it'. He said horrid things about 'it'. He called it 'it'" Sara sobbed.
"I don't mean to pry it's just most women don't seem to react like this. So I was wondering if you'd had an abortion before?" Matt asked.
Sara nodded.
"I was 26. I just didn't feel worthy of a kid. I thought it would make me feel less guilty if I got rid of it but it made me feel worse!" Sara admitted.
"Oh, I just thought because you've reacted badly - it might be your first time" Matt replied.
Sara shook her head.
"I've got rid of two kids. Not one but two!. I just get worse!" Sara sobbed.
Matt pat her back to comfort her.
"It's not like that" Matt reassured her.
Sara hit her head down on the table.
"I want my mom!. But she can't get here till tomorrow!. I want my mommy!!!!. I always want my mom!. I'm 32 years old and I want to live with my mom. Isn't that sad?!?. I left California because I felt suffocated but now all I want is my mom everyday!. Every second of the day!. I want my mommy!" Sara sobbed drunkenly.
"O.k.!" Matt replied implying this was weird.
Sara hit her head on the table ahead.
"Careful!" Matt commented.
Matt was very concerned, especially since this woman had just admitted that she wanted her 'mommy'.
"Look, I mean this in a complete un-dodgy sense but let me take you home. I can assure you that if you came on to me I would absolutely refuse!. I don't take advantage of drunken or upset women - and your both, frankly. Anyway I'm a long-term guy. I don't do one night stands" Matt told her.
"Thank you but no" she replied.
"Look, your in no state to get a cab by yourself. We can get a cab and there'll be a cab driver there to make sure I don't take advantage of you. In your flat I'm sure you have a lamp you could hit me over the head with if I get fruity - which I won't!" Matt suggested.
"Why are you doing this?" Sara asked.
"Because I'm a fireman - it's my job to help damsels in distress" Matt joked.
Sara laughed and nodded.
"O.k." Sara agreed.
When they got back to Sara's flat, Matt made them both some coffee. Matt listened to Sara as she spoke her drunken ramblings to him. It was so disjointed that it didn't make sense to him - but he knew it was important to her at that time so he let her continue. They found out about each other's lives to get Sara's mind off her troubles. Finally at 2am Sara fell asleep on Matt's shoulder. He carried her into a bedroom but found Janey and Michelle sleeping in there. It was Alaney's room. He was surprised because Sara hadn't mentioned them being there. He was surprised that they hadn't been awoken by the noise. So Matt carried her into the other room. He found her empty double bed placed her in it, placed the covers over her and kissed her forehead. He then wrote his name and number on a piece of paper, got his coat, turned the lights off and left the apartment.
The next morning, a banging hangover and Matt's number greeted Sara. She smiled but then the pain hit her and she held her head. Janey and Michelle made her a cup of coffee and tried to prize the details out of Sara. Sara gave all she could remember away.
Meanwhile across town, Alaney woke up at 12noon. She didn't have a hangover (as she had to be careful after her transplant) but was still delighted to be greeted with a cup of coffee from Catherine when she went down.
"What would you like for breakfast?" Catherine asked.
"Nothing, thanks" Alaney replied.
"Alaney!" Catherine lectured.
"Porridge, please" Alaney responded.
"Porridge, are you sure?" Catherine asked.
"My family live by the stuff" Alaney replied.
"O.k., if that's what you want. I'm pretty sure I've got some lying around somewhere" Catherine replied.
"So, how was last night?" Catherine asked.
"Brilliant!. We hit four casinos and two nightclubs" Alaney delighted.
"How did you get in?" Catherine asked.
"Fake I.D" Alaney replied coyly.
"Alaney!" Catherine lectured.
"Don't pretend you haven't!" Alaney replied.
"You didn't gamble did you?" Catherine asked.
"Only fruit machines. But Casey made a hundred dollars profit on the tables" Alaney remarked excited.
"He's gotta be careful" Catherine warned.
"He is" Alaney reassured her.
Alaney watched as Catherine suddenly went pale, ran over to the sink and threw up. Alaney rushed over.
"Catherine, are you alright?" Alaney asked concerned.
"Fine" Catherine replied.
"You don't look fine. Have you eat something dodgy?. Are you ill?" Alaney asked.
"No, it's nothing. I'm fine" Catherine told her.
"It doesn't seem like nothing!. Is this the first time you've thrown up lately?" Alaney asked.
"It's nothing. O.k., if you want to know. It's just when I think about - you know - what happened. It makes me nauseous that's all. I'm just finding it hard to digest food since then" Catherine confessed.
"You be careful!. Stress and psych problems can cause real damage to you physically" Alaney commented.
"That family!. There's something wrong with their heads. I just hope it's not genetic!" Alaney remarked.
"I've recently realised something about that family. It's when they won't tell you that you know their telling the truth. It's when they give information away too easily that you know their lying!" Alaney commented.
"Is it my presence that set it off?" Alaney asked guilty and concerned.
"No. Don't worry counselling will help" Catherine reassured her.
"O.k. We'll see how it goes" Alaney agreed not entirely convinced.
Later that day, Catherine had been at work a full hour before Alaney arrived to tell Grissom she was leaving. It had been an hour full of Sara's constant questions and enquiries about how Alaney was: "Did she say anything else about me?", "Is she still angry?", "Is her health alright?", etcetera.
Alaney walked into the department and up to reception. The receptionist recognised her immediately and enquired about her health. Alaney chatted with her and then ask to speak to Grissom. Alaney told Lindsay to sit outside waiting and she went to Grissom's office.
"Alaney!. How are you?. When are you coming back to join us?. Do you know yet?" Grissom asked.
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm going to have to resign, Grissom" Alaney told him matter of factly.
"What?. Resign?. Why?. What about college?" Grissom asked astounded.
"I've done the required amount and now I need to get a job. I'm sorry for the short notice but my circumstances have changed and I now need financial support" Alaney explained.
"What do you mean changed?. Can't Sara support you?" Grissom asked.
"I no longer live with or want to know Sara Sidle" Alaney remarked.
"What?. Why?. Look it will blow over" Grissom responded.
"No it won't, Grissom!. Don't patronise me!" Alaney snapped.
Sara was passing and noticed Alaney in Grissom's office. Sara came rushing in.
"Alaney" Sara remarked.
"Excuse me, this is a private meeting" Alaney remarked coldly.
"What's going on?" Grissom asked.
"I have little respect for that woman, Grissom. But the microscopic amount I do have for her is not allowing me to tell you. You respect her and she yearns that approval. If I were tell you the truth about her then she may lose your respect and even she doesn't deserve that" Alaney responded.
Alaney turned to Sara,
"I'm leaving CSI" she told her.
"What?. Why?" Sara asked.
"That's what I'd like to know!" Grissom remarked
"Why do you think?. Anyway, I need financial support now" she replied to Sara.
"I'll financially support you. Please just stay at CSI. It's the only way I get to see you if you won't live with me" Sara responded.
"No thank you, I don't want your guilt ridden money. Anyway, I've accepted the job now" Alaney remarked.
"Will you still come visit us on your time off?" Sara asked.
"I can't. My job tends to work out that whenever your working I'm working" Alaney remarked coldly.
"Alaney, don't be silly" Sara responded.
Alaney opened the door and called Lindsay in. Catherine heard and came in too.
"I'm Lindsay's new nanny" Alaney remarked.
"Is this true?" Grissom asked Catherine surprised.
"She insisted and I do need one" Catherine replied feeling guilty.
Sara was couldn't believe Catherine could do this to her. She gave her a betrayed look and walked out on the verge of tears. Alaney took Lindsay's hand and walked out too.
"Good day Grissom. See you tomorrow Catherine. I've got to go home and get Lindsay to bed" Alaney remarked leaving.
"What is with those two?" Grissom asked bemused.
"Don't ask" Catherine replied.
"So what's it like having Alaney living with you?" Grissom asked interested.
"Stressful!. She can be such a pain in the arse. We know her as mature Alaney - professional, intelligent and responsible. But when she's at home she can be so stubborn, immature and, well, teenage like!. She was meant to come move into mine yesterday afternoon and instead she went to her boyfriend's without telling me. I was worried sick!. I felt like wringing her neck!. Having said that I still love her dearly. She's like one of my own already. I love having her around. I'll tell you it definitely gave me a glimpse of what Lindsay will be like as a teenager. I'm not looking forward to it!. She even has blonde hair like Lindsay!. Teenagers!" Catherine commented.
The next morning, Sara got a phone call on her cell phone while out in the field. It was Alaney. Sara was delighted.
"Alaney?" Sara replied enthusiastic.
"Can we meet for lunch?" Alaney asked still sounding cold.
"Of course!. Umm, I should be finished or at least be able to take a break at say 1pm in the diner round the corner?" Sara replied.
"Sure" Alaney agreed monotonously.
At 1pm, Alaney entered the diner. She found Michelle and Sara already waiting there.
"Oh look who it is! If it isn't Sara's little side kick!" Alaney remarked.
"Alaney, don't be like that. I'm here for you both. I'm neutral" Michelle responded.
"Alaney, I'm so glad your finally coming round. I've" Sara was interrupted.
"Wait a moment. Before you get all excited - I'm not here for a reconciliation. I just wanted the name of my natural father" Alaney told them.
"What?" Sara responded.
"Come on Sara, you owe me that much" Alaney insisted annoyed.
"He doesn't want to know you" Sara told her.
"So he knows. Well, I don't care if he doesn't want to know me - I just want to see what he looks like" Alaney explained.
"There's no point" Sara told her.
"Let me decide that. Now tell me his name and where you met him" Alaney demanded.
"No!. Alaney forget about him he's a nobody" Sara insisted.
"Who is he?" Alaney demanded.
Sara sighed.
"Just some boy. That's all you need to know" Sara replied.
"What's his name?" Alaney requested.
"He's a nobody, Alaney. He's not worth knowing" Sara insisted.
"Sara!" Alaney demanded.
Sara sighed.
"Dean Rampling. He went a school near mine" Sara lied.
"Rubbish!. You gave that away too easily!. You're lying!" Alaney accused her.
"It's the truth!. Accept it or don't - it's up to you" Sara insisted
Alaney grabbed her bag and began to storm off. Michelle followed after her.
"Alaney!, Alaney!" Michelle called out while running down the street.
Alaney stopped.
"Who's my father, Michelle?" Alaney asked.
"It's Sara's right to tell you not mine" Michelle replied.
"Then we have nothing more to talk about" Alaney responded and walked off.
"Alaney!" Michelle called out.
Alaney stopped one more time.
"What?" Alaney asked annoyed.
"She really loves you know. You've got to forgive her. Have you listened to the album lately?" Michelle told her.
"No. I've been a bit busy with my life falling apart, Michelle!" Alaney responded.
"Well do. Listen to it and you'll hear how much she loves you. She wrote 'Goodbye to you' because she predicted you'd hate her. I always thought you'd forgive her. She was right you have reacted with hate. Please Laney just listen to her songs. She loves you that's all that matters now" Michelle suggested.
Alaney walked off.
"Listen to the album!" Michelle called after her as Alaney walked off.
Tears began falling from Alaney's eyes as she walked away and got into a cab.
When Alaney got back to Catherine's, she found Catherine and Lindsay being sick.
"Guys, are you alright?. Oh my!. Catherine, I think you've got a bug not posttraumatic stress!. And it looks like you've given the bug to Lindsay. I knew there was something up with you. Don't worry we'll get you to both to the doctors and your be as right as rain in no time" Alaney remarked.
Catherine went to clear up Lindsay sick but Alaney stopped her.
"I'll sort her out. You sort yourself out" Alaney gestured.
Alaney cleaned Lindsay up and got her into bed.
"There you go. You get some rest o.k.?. Nightie night" Alaney said to her and kiss her on the forehead.
Alaney went out and checked on how Catherine was.
"Your lucky you were only sick once. Lindsay's been sick three times now. Have you guys eaten anything dodgy lately?" Alaney asked.
Catherine seemed to be in a trance.
"Sorry what?. Oh umm. I don't know. Lindsay had some chicken curry that could have been it - but I didn't. I don't know. I just don't know" Catherine got up and began lightly crying.
"Catherine, what's wrong?. It's just a tummy bug or something. Don't worry it will go away. Are you worried about Lindsay?. Don't worry I'll look after her. You just get some rest. Is it Boby?. Are you thinking of him?" Alaney asked.
"It's going to be fine, Alaney. Don't worry" Catherine told her and left.
Alaney was quite confused.
"That poor woman's screwed up" Alaney remarked with concern.
"Stupid pig!" Alaney exclaimed.
Alaney sat up with Lindsay for an hour before deciding that she was properly asleep and could be left alone. Alaney went into Catherine's room to find her spring-cleaning.
"Are you feeling better?" Alaney asked confused.
"Oh yeah. If you want to go out you feel free. Oh angel, you don't need to be Lindsay's nanny 24/7. You need a life too. I feel fine. I feel much better now. Right as rain" Catherine replied cheerily.
"Well o.k. I'll be at Casey's if you need me" Alaney replied.
"Wonderful" Catherine remarked cheerfully.
Alaney was very confused now.
Alaney grabbed Michelle's album and left.
Alaney and Casey listened to 'Goodbye to you', 'Desperately', 'Its you', 'Everywhere', 'I'd rather be in love', 'You set me free' and 'Drop in the ocean' at his place. Alaney cried the whole way through all of them. But it was towards the end of 'Drop in the ocean' that Alaney finally told Casey how she was feeling,
"I want to love her. I really do!. And I do love her!. But I just can't forgive her for what she's done. Too much hurt has been caused by her" she commented.
"But once you heal" Casey suggested trying to comfort her.
"I can never heal, Casey!. She'll never change from the person she is. On top of all that, I just can't trust her ever again!. All she ever does is lie. I can't trust what she says. But I wanna love her!. I do so much!" Alaney sobbed.
Alaney broke down and Casey hugged her.
"It's o.k., baby. It's all going to be o.k. You've got me. I'll be here for you through it all. Forever" Casey gestured.
Once 'Drop in the ocean' had finished, 'Here with me' came on. Alaney was busy sobbing and all she noticed was the chorus.
("I know you had to go away. I died just a little. I feel it now you're the one I need. I believe that I would cry just a little just to have you back here with me")
"She's not even sorry!. How am I meant to forgive someone who's not sorry?!. She says she loves me and misses me but that she doesn't regret giving me away. I just don't understand!" Alaney whaled back into Casey's arm.
The next day, Alaney and Catherine were having coffee together in Catherine's kitchen when Alaney's mobile rang. She looked down at the screen but didn't recognise the number.
"Hello Alaney here. Who is it?" Alaney answered.
"Hello Alaney?. It's Boby" the person down the phone answered.
Alaney was startled. Boby hardly ever spoke to her let alone rang her!. What was he up to?. Alaney's immediate reaction was that she couldn't let Catherine know who was on the phone. So she excused herself and took the call in her room.
"Hello?. Hello Alaney are you still there?" Boby called down the phone.
"What do you want?" Alaney whispered.
"Sara told me that you found out about her. I wanted to meet up and discuss it with you" Boby told her.
"No way. Do you think I'm stupid?. Your trying to kill me, remember" Alaney reminded him.
"Don't be silly, I'm not trying to kill you. Alaney, do you think I'd donate a kidney to you if I wanted to kill you?" Boby reminded her.
"I suppose not" Alaney responded.
"No. Come on. Anyhow, we won't be alone - Libby will be there" Boby told her.
"Oh yeah, like she can do much!" Alaney remarked.
"You shouldn't underestimate her you know. She's more powerful than she seems. For a start, she'd probably literally kill me if I laid a finger on you. Just because she doesn't stand up for herself doesn't mean she doesn't stand up for her kids" Boby argued.
"I'm not her kid" Alaney commented looking for a compliment.
"You're her relative. So you are one of her kids. Hey! - even if you weren't related - as long as a child lives in our community their one of her kids" Boby told her.
Alaney sighed.
"O.k. Where and When?" Alaney asked.
"We're rented a house in a small forest next to Lake Mead, near Henderson. Write down this address 33 Hoyland forest, it's the south end of the forest near the '147' road. Be there 1pm tomorrow" Boby informed her.
"I'll be there. Libby better be too" Alaney warned.
One o'clock that very next afternoon Alaney approached the very house Boby had asked her to. She rang the doorbell and Boby opened it.
"Come in" he smiled.
Alaney was very suspicious but she walked in all the same. She was glad to see Libby when she walked in.
"Alaney!. It's good to see you. So to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?. I thought you weren't talking to Sara - how did you know we were here?" Libby asked.
"Boby invited me" Alaney told her.
"He did?" Libby was surprised.
"Boby darling, can I have a word, please?" Libby asked.
Boby and Libby went over to the corner of the room.
"What are you up to, Boby?. If you lay a hand on that girl I swear I will drag myself down that police station with two broken legs if needs be. Don't lay a hand on her. This has nothing to do with her" Libby answered.
"Elizabeth, how can think that?. I'm simply getting to know the girl. She is my granddaughter after all. Anyway, I've been thinking. Now that she knows and half the world knows that Sara's her mother. Well maybe it's a bad idea to push her away. I mean if her grandparents ignore her people are more likely to suspect there's a reason. I'm simply letting go of my barriers and getting to know my granddaughter like I've always wanted to" Boby whispered.
"Granddaughter!. Is that what you tell yourself?" Libby smirked but still whispered.
"Watch it!" Boby warned her.
Libby sighed and nodded.
"We were just making some tea and cakes. Would you like some, darling?. Boby's made a wonderful lemon cake" Libby asked her.
"Ummm, yes please" Alaney worriedly agreed.
Boby brought his cake over and Libby brought over the tea. Libby poured them all a cup of tea and Boby gave them all a piece of cake. While sitting there, Alaney thought to herself how strange this was. In all of her eighteen years of growing up in the same community as them, and even being fostered by their sister, this was only the second time the three of them had never sat down to tea. Furthermore, this was the only time it meant something to Alaney. Alaney actually trusted Boby for the first time in her life. His proofs for not wanting to kill her all were or had come true.
"Alaney, I realise we've been a bit cold over the years and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise on behalf of both of us. We just didn't want people to associate you with Sara and maybe we took that a bit far" Boby explained.
Libby agreed and nodded.
"Therefore, I'd like to start by extending the offer to you to free to call Libby and me - Grandma and Granddad" Boby gestured.
Libby choked on her tea and gave Boby a shocked look. Libby looked down and she had got tea all down her white top.
"Sorry. Excuse me, I must go and change. I won't be a minute" Libby excused her.
Libby left.
Boby sighed. He looked distressed. Alaney was quote concerned.
"Alaney", Boby said in a serious tone, "I just want you to know that - well that I think Sara's behaviour has been disgraceful. I'm not surprised you're not talking to her. I guess that's why me and her never got along. It was just after you were born. I made my feelings on her actions very clear. I love her but honestly I was ashamed of her for abandoning you like that. We begged her to keep you but she wouldn't. I told her that she needed to take responsibility for her actions and that you were a human being with feelings too. I've always regretted not taking you in myself - ourselves. But Sara gave you to Miranda without telling us. I did consider taking you back but she went hysterical anytime Miranda brought you over. I'm so sorry. I should have done more. So as a consequence, we always used to argue about you. So she stopped talking to me. She used Libby and mine's rocky relationship as an excuse to not talk to me - But I always knew it was because I made her feel guilty. I guess I made her feel like a bad person and so she turned it around on me. What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry it turned out the way it did for you. I'm sorry you never got your natural mother it's partly our fault" Boby apologised.
"Boby. I'm not stupid. Your 'rocky relationship' is all down to you. You're a asshole and that will never change. But thank you. Thank you all the same for sticking up for me. For defending my corner when I couldn't" Alaney commented.
She finished her sentence by putting her hand on his in gratitude.
Libby re-entered.
"Elizabeth!. It's good you're here. I wanted you to be present when I asked Alaney this. You see I was thinking yesterday morning and I had an idea of how we could make things up to you. You see, Alaney. Well I was wondering. You see we've rented this house in Las Vegas for a month. We seem to be always here and so we thought we'd stay a while - a month. See if we can sort you guys out. But Libby and I get so lonely without Sara around and you need a place to stay and a family. Well anyway I was thinking, so we're here for a month and I was just wondering if - Ummm - if you would you would like to live with us - Libby and I" Boby suggested.
Libby choked on her tea again. This time luckily she was wearing a black top. She was flabbergasted. So was Alaney.
"Live with you?!?!" Alaney exclaimed.
"What?!?" Libby exclaimed.
"That is it!. Boby, word now! - over there!" Libby demanded.
The pair went off to the corner of the room again.
"O.k. Boby, there are some things I'll buy but now I know your up to something!. There is no way that girl is living within two metres of you!. How stupid do you think I am?" Libby whispered angrily.
"Libby, Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I don't trust you!"
"I make one mistake and you never let me forget that"
"You can't accidentally rape your daughter!"
"The only crime I'm guilty of is loving Sara too much"
"What if you love this one too much?"
"It was a mistake. I've never done it again. I've never said or done anything inappropriate to her or any girl after that night. I have a mental disorder and your treating me like a criminal. You can't help your chemicals, Libby. I was ill but now I'm better. Please Libby you've got to let me get on with my life. I know I've lost Sara. I just want a daughter again and I won't muck it up this time. I'll treat her right" Boby begged.
Libby sighed.
"So come after 18 years of calling her 'it' and not giving a stuff about her you want to 'get to know her' and are now acknowledging her as your daughter?" Libby asked suspiciously.
"This isn't suddenly. We were so busy avoiding her that I hardly even knew her. She's a lovely girl. And like I said people are going to suspect if we don't offer our homeless granddaughter a home and a family. I swear scout's honour I won't hurt her. It's just - well, I've as good as lost Sara - I just want a daughter. And I just happen to have one spare. I'd love to get to know her and start anew. I just want to be like a normal father and daughter" Boby explained.
"But she can't know who you are" Libby reminded him.
"I'll just have to settle with granddad . I'm prepared for that. I just want a family - any family" Boby replied.
Libby sighed.
"O.k. But I'm watching you!" Libby reluctantly agreed.
Boby nodded.
Libby and Boby sat back down.
"Listen you guys, thanks for the offer but. Well you see. Boby I've only just got the desire to have a civil conversation with you today. I'm not quite ready to move in with someone I hate as much as you. You're still a asshole. But thanks for the offer" Alaney explained.
"Well think about it" Boby seem undefeated.
"I better be going. Catherine will wonder where I am if I spend too long away" Alaney excused herself as she got up.
"This was nice. Thanks" Alaney told them.
"It was lovely seeing you, dear - darling. Welcome to the family" Libby said as she came over, hugged her and kissed her cheek.
Boby then came over and did the same. It was almost like maybe he was trying to top Libby.
Once Alaney left, Libby turned to Boby and remarked,
"She's not coming. How could you expect her to want to live with you after all she knows about you?".
"She'll change her mind" Boby smiled.
"Why?. How do you know?. What have you done?" Libby asked concerned.
"I've done nothing. I just know her. She wants family. She wants natural family. Any natural family" Boby explained.
"Wanna bet?. Any?" Libby laughed.
"Any but Sara. And anyway, she worships you. You're her ideal mom" Boby reiterated.
"What?. Why would you think that?. I'm a terrible mom" Libby responded.
"No, your not!. Your brilliant!. As for her - well, you can just tell by the way she's always looked at you" Boby commented.
Casey noticed that Alaney wasn't listening to a word he was saying. She had been even more pre-occupied than usual this visit.
"What are you thinking?" Casey asked.
"What?. Umm. Nothing. Can I use your phone?. I need to do something" Alaney replied.
"Sure what?" Casey agreed.
"Sara told me this name for my father. It's probably unlikely to be true knowing her. But I can't get it out of my mind just in case it is him. I mean why would she lie?. Why wouldn't she want me to know my father?. Why does it matter to her?" Alaney explained.
"She might be trying to protect you" Casey suggested.
"From what?" Alaney commented.
"He might not be very nice. She might know that he'll hurt your feelings"
"Well I'm a big girl. I can take whatever he says. I just want a go. Even just a photo of him" Alaney replied.
"Well go try this name then. How are you going to check?" Casey asked.
"Well, I'll get the number of the school district office from my friend and ask them. Sara said he went to a school nearby. If so then he's on the district school district register. It's worth a try" Alaney explained.
So Alaney did that.
"Hello?. Is that Novato unified school district office?", Alaney asked, "I was hoping you could help me".
Alaney asked for Dean Rampling. They said they couldn't give that information out. Alaney explained she was looking for her father. She pleaded and begged. Eventually the woman agreed to make an exception even though technically it was 'against regulation'.
"What did you say his name was?" the woman asked.
"Dean Rampling" Alaney replied anxiously.
The woman searched the computer. Alaney had to remind herself to breath throughout the waiting.
"I'm sorry madam. We have no record of a Dean Rampling" the woman informed her.
"Well try 1980 to 1990. Are you sure he can't have been put in the wrong date. It could be any date!" Alaney panicked.
"Madam, I've already tried that. There's no record of a Dean Rampling ever going to a Novato school" the woman informed her.
"Could there be some mistake?" Alaney asked.
"No madam. I'm sorry. I'm 100% certain. A pupil cannot be just missed off a register - even if they were missed it would be corrected" the woman replied.
"Thank you" Alaney gestured on the verge of tears.
Alaney put the phone down and burst into floods of tears. She ran into his arms.
"He doesn't exist!. She lied to me" Alaney whaled.
An hour later, Alaney was finally calm. She sat curled up on Casey's sofa and wrapped up in his arms.
"I thought I knew her. But the Sara I knew would never get pregnant at thirteen. I just don't understand how she could. I'm only accepting it because it's true" Alaney shared.
"Alaney, I've been meaning to talk to you about that" Casey shared.
Casey took a deep breath.
"I've been thinking and - I think you should forgive her" Casey told her.
"What?!?. Why?" Alaney exclaimed annoyed.
She got up with a start and began to confront him.
"Alaney, don't you remember what you were like at thirteen/fourteen?" Casey reminded her.
"I wasn't like her!" Alaney was disgusted.
"You were a rage of hormones though. Look just here me out. All I remember from being that age, is that personality or social standing doesn't determine who actually has sex. It's about how out of control your hormones get. People can get so desperate to fit in with being popular that they go just as far or too far as the so called 'popular' kids. It's a messed up time and I don't think it's fair to hold her responsible for something she did at that age. Your head is so messed up you can't decide what's best for you - What's right or wrong or what the consequences are. The only thing to determine your behaviour during that time is how out of control your hormones get. You can't blame her" Casey argued.
"Of course you can!. I can't believe your taking her side!. I thought I could count on you!" Alaney shouted as she grabbed her coat and left.
"Alaney!. Alaney!. Come back!. I'm sorry!. Aren't I allowed a opinion, at least?" he called after her.
Alaney was back in floods of tears as she left Casey's flat. She picked up her cell phone and dialled a number.
"Hi Boby. It's Alaney", Alaney spoke down the phone, "I was just wondering. When can I move in?".
"I'm sorry but you're the only person I can trust anymore!. I can't talk to any of my family because they're all in on it. Even some of my best friends are!. I'm one of Michelle's best friends and she didn't even tell me!. Even Catherine knows!" Alaney whaled.
Casey and Alaney talked for hours and hours. However within four hours Alaney had finally cried herself to sleep on Casey's chest. Casey just sat watching her, before the phone rang and distracted him. He gently moved Alaney's head onto the sofa as he got out of the way and answered the phone.
"Hello?" Casey answered.
"Oh hello. This is Catherine Willows. Is that Casey?" Catherine asked.
"Oh yeah. Alaney's told me all about you. Hi" Casey made conversation flippantly.
"Yeah. Umm Casey!. Alaney's meant to be at mine. I called her mom and she said Alaney left her nearly five hours ago!. I've been worried sick. Her mom gave me this number" Catherine lectured.
"Oh, of course!. Catherine, I'm so sorry!. Didn't she call you?. It's just because she's in such a muddle. Look she's asleep right now but I'll get her to yours within the hour. I promise. O.k?" Casey gestured.
"O.k" Catherine replied unpleased.
At five to nine Alaney finally knocked on Catherine's door in the pouring rain.
"Oh, you finally decided to make it then!. This is isn't a hotel you know, Laney!" Catherine lectured.
"Look if you don't want me here I'll go" Alaney bite back.
"Don't be cheeky. Get your ass inside right now. You're not going anywhere" Catherine replied still annoyed.
Alaney and Catherine sat round the kitchen table sipping hot drinks and talking. Alaney was back in tears again. Catherine had calmed down and was back in caring mode now.
"I thought I'd finally found a home and now it's all in pieces!" Alaney whined.
"You can stay here as long as you like" Catherine gestured.
"I'll pay you. Don't worry" Alaney gestured.
"No, don't be silly" Catherine responded.
"Sara said you'd been having financial difficulties" Alaney told her.
"Don't worry they're sorted. I had a win fall" Catherine replied.
"No I want to get a job. I need to have a reason to leave CSI for good" Alaney insisted.
"Alaney!" Catherine responded.
"I'm not working with her anymore!" Alaney responded.
"What about college?" Catherine reminded her.
"They only required I do two months there. I've done that. I can leave properly now" Alaney replied.
"If that's what you want. It's your decision. I just think you'll regret it. Can you do me a favour?. If your not going back to CSI tomorrow, can you watch Lindsay for me?. Her nanny's quit at the last minute. I'm sorry but it's an emergency. If I didn't have enough to deal with with you and Sara!" Catherine replied.
Alaney had an idea.
"I can do better than that!. I can be Lindsay's new nanny!" Alaney suggested excited.
"What?" Catherine responded.
"Oh come on Catherine!. I'm great with kids. I've grown up looking after kids all my life. She's ten so it's not like she needs too much looking after anyway. Plus Lindsay loves me doesn't she?. This way you don't pay for a nanny and I'm paying my way!. It's perfect!" Alaney argued.
"Umm. O.k" Catherine agreed deciding it was actually a good idea.
Catherine looked at Alaney's hair.
"Look at your hair. It's soaking!. I'll go get a towel" Catherine suggested.
Catherine got a towel and began drying Alaney's hair herself.
After a few moment of silence Alaney spoke,
"Catherine, if I tell you something do you promise you won't tell anyone else?" Alaney asked.
"Umm. O.k. Sure" Catherine responded.
"I'm not going to Harvard" Alaney confessed.
"What?. You didn't get in?. Oh angel, I'm sorry" Catherine gestured.
"No, I got in. That's the point" Alaney replied.
Alaney turned and faced Catherine.
"My whole life all I ever dreamed of was going to Harvard. But then when I came and stayed with Sara suddenly it became less important. I was living with my idol and furthermore I finally felt like I had a home. She felt like home to me. So when Harvard made me an offer - I turned it down. I'm going to Western Las Vegas University instead" Alaney sobbed.
"What!" Catherine exclaimed.
"Well, that way I could still be a CSI because you and Warrick went there and your CSIs. Plus I got to be near Sara. Even if she didn't want me to live with her - I could still have a place nearby to call home - hopefully. I could have a base. I could be near her. I felt like I'd missed out on so many years of just knowing her and that this way I could catch up on some of that time. And now all that's fallen apart and I can't go to Harvard anymore!" Alaney explained sobbing.
"It doesn't have to have fallen apart" Catherine argued.
"It does" Alaney affirmed.
"Oh Alaney. You poor thing. I'm so sorry" Catherine commented.
"You see that's the difference. When faced with the choice between Sara and Harvard I chose Sara. And I didn't even know she was my mom!. When faced with the same choice, Sara chose Harvard over me. She chose Harvard over her own daughter" Alaney whined.
"I'm sure it wasn't like that. The way I hear she didn't even get a choice in the matter. Her parents just took you away and didn't ask her if she wanted you" Catherine argued.
"Yeah well that might be true but then again knowing her it might now. It doesn't even matter if they did or didn't - she didn't want me even they had asked" Alaney reminded her.
"Could you have brought up a kid at 14 with no help then?" Catherine accused.
"No. That's why I never put myself in that position at 14!" Alaney replied.
Catherine wanted to say the truth, but it wasn't her place.
"You know I've never seen Sara so happy as when you came along to live with her. You've changed her life for the better. She's so happy all the time" Catherine told Alaney.
"She should have thought about that before. It's too late!" Alaney told Catherine.
Catherine felt sad about this.
Alaney sighed.
"Do you know the main reason I liked Sara so much?. It wasn't just because she was clever and smart and sophisticated. It was because out of all the adults I knew she was the last person who could be my mom. Not just because of her age but also because I thought she was the only person who would never abandon a baby. I know she wasn't good with kids but I thought she was just too compassionate. She usually puts such a high regard on human life. Her dad's been beating her mom for years and Sara hates him, and yet Sara still doesn't believe in killing violent husbands or her dad. Sara believes that there's always another way. There's jail, temporary unconsciousness or something. Unless your life is in immediate danger and there's no other way to save it then you should never kill anyone. Now I don't know what to believe. I can't believe she's capable of deserting a helpless baby!" Alaney confessed.
Catherine was speechless.
After a few moments of silence, as Catherine took this in, Alaney spoke.
"Can I go out?" Alaney asked.
"What?. You wanna go out tonight of all nights?. You were upset a minute ago" Catherine responded.
"I need a distraction" Alaney explained.
Catherine sighed.
"Of course. You don't need to ask!. I just want to know where you are and what time your coming back that's all" Catherine agreed.
"I don't know quite yet. I'm going to go somewhere with Casey. I'll call you and tell you where I am though" Alaney told her.
"Thank you" Catherine replied.
"I'll probably be back at three am though. But don't worry I'll be up and about ready to look after Lindsay when you go to work tomorrow evening. I just need a distraction" Alaney told her.
Catherine hugged Alaney and kissed her on the forehead.
"Have a good night. There's a key for you to keep outside on the table by the door. Please be quiet when you come in" Catherine gestured.
"Of course. Goodnight Catherine and - Thanks" Alaney agreed.
"Remember to get some sleep, O.K.?. I'm so glad your safe" Catherine gestured.
"Goodnight" Alaney added.
Alaney got dressed up and went round to Casey's. He opened the door and was surprised to see her.
"We're living in 'America's adult playground' and you haven't even given me the guided tour. What do you say to taking my mind off things and painting the town red?" Alaney asked playfully.
"I'll go get changed" Casey smiled.
A few miles across town, Sara was painting the town Red herself. Or maybe we should say Blue. She sat in a bar drowning her sorrows and downing her sixth scotch. A young man, handsome and in his mid thirties approached her.
"That isn't a very lady like drink" the guy commented playfully.
"No thank you I'm not interested. I'm mourning" Sara replied depressed and drunk.
"I noticed. I'm not here to chat you up. Don't get me wrong your gorgeous but it's just not appropriate with the state your in. For now, I'm here to help. But don't worry once your sober I'll be there with all the cheesy chat up lines. For a start, I'm going to stop you having another drink" Matt replied.
He took her new drink away from her.
"Now do you want to talk to me rather than the drink?" Matt asked.
He offered her his hand to shake.
"Matt Colgan" Matt introduced himself.
"Sara Sidle" Sara responded and drunkenly shook his hand.
"And what do you do as a job 'Matt Colgan'?" Sara asked.
"I'm a fireman" Matt replied.
"Oh my brother is a fireman" Sara responded drunkenly excited.
"Oh does he live here?. Maybe I know him" Matt replied.
"No, San Francisco" Sara told him looking away.
"Lovely place. You from there?" Matt tried to regain her attention.
"Near there. I actually worked there for a few years too" Sara told him.
"Listen, I should tell you now before you get your hopes up. If you knew what I'd done you wouldn't want to be talking to me. You may as well save yourself the trouble and go now" Sara suggested.
"What you done?. You murdered someone?" Matt joked.
"Practically. I took away their life" Sara replied drunkenly.
"As long you're not a serial killer I don't care. Whose life you take away?" Matt responded.
"I don't want to talk about it" Sara told him
"O.k." Matt understood.
"I got rid of my baby" She sobbed into his arm drunkenly.
"Oh, that's why you're in a state. You had an abortion - and your regretting it. Is this what this is all about?. I don't think your a bad person at all. It's your choice no one else's - except the father's. Does he know?" Matt guessed.
Sara nodded through tears.
"He told me to get rid of 'it'. He said horrid things about 'it'. He called it 'it'" Sara sobbed.
"I don't mean to pry it's just most women don't seem to react like this. So I was wondering if you'd had an abortion before?" Matt asked.
Sara nodded.
"I was 26. I just didn't feel worthy of a kid. I thought it would make me feel less guilty if I got rid of it but it made me feel worse!" Sara admitted.
"Oh, I just thought because you've reacted badly - it might be your first time" Matt replied.
Sara shook her head.
"I've got rid of two kids. Not one but two!. I just get worse!" Sara sobbed.
Matt pat her back to comfort her.
"It's not like that" Matt reassured her.
Sara hit her head down on the table.
"I want my mom!. But she can't get here till tomorrow!. I want my mommy!!!!. I always want my mom!. I'm 32 years old and I want to live with my mom. Isn't that sad?!?. I left California because I felt suffocated but now all I want is my mom everyday!. Every second of the day!. I want my mommy!" Sara sobbed drunkenly.
"O.k.!" Matt replied implying this was weird.
Sara hit her head on the table ahead.
"Careful!" Matt commented.
Matt was very concerned, especially since this woman had just admitted that she wanted her 'mommy'.
"Look, I mean this in a complete un-dodgy sense but let me take you home. I can assure you that if you came on to me I would absolutely refuse!. I don't take advantage of drunken or upset women - and your both, frankly. Anyway I'm a long-term guy. I don't do one night stands" Matt told her.
"Thank you but no" she replied.
"Look, your in no state to get a cab by yourself. We can get a cab and there'll be a cab driver there to make sure I don't take advantage of you. In your flat I'm sure you have a lamp you could hit me over the head with if I get fruity - which I won't!" Matt suggested.
"Why are you doing this?" Sara asked.
"Because I'm a fireman - it's my job to help damsels in distress" Matt joked.
Sara laughed and nodded.
"O.k." Sara agreed.
When they got back to Sara's flat, Matt made them both some coffee. Matt listened to Sara as she spoke her drunken ramblings to him. It was so disjointed that it didn't make sense to him - but he knew it was important to her at that time so he let her continue. They found out about each other's lives to get Sara's mind off her troubles. Finally at 2am Sara fell asleep on Matt's shoulder. He carried her into a bedroom but found Janey and Michelle sleeping in there. It was Alaney's room. He was surprised because Sara hadn't mentioned them being there. He was surprised that they hadn't been awoken by the noise. So Matt carried her into the other room. He found her empty double bed placed her in it, placed the covers over her and kissed her forehead. He then wrote his name and number on a piece of paper, got his coat, turned the lights off and left the apartment.
The next morning, a banging hangover and Matt's number greeted Sara. She smiled but then the pain hit her and she held her head. Janey and Michelle made her a cup of coffee and tried to prize the details out of Sara. Sara gave all she could remember away.
Meanwhile across town, Alaney woke up at 12noon. She didn't have a hangover (as she had to be careful after her transplant) but was still delighted to be greeted with a cup of coffee from Catherine when she went down.
"What would you like for breakfast?" Catherine asked.
"Nothing, thanks" Alaney replied.
"Alaney!" Catherine lectured.
"Porridge, please" Alaney responded.
"Porridge, are you sure?" Catherine asked.
"My family live by the stuff" Alaney replied.
"O.k., if that's what you want. I'm pretty sure I've got some lying around somewhere" Catherine replied.
"So, how was last night?" Catherine asked.
"Brilliant!. We hit four casinos and two nightclubs" Alaney delighted.
"How did you get in?" Catherine asked.
"Fake I.D" Alaney replied coyly.
"Alaney!" Catherine lectured.
"Don't pretend you haven't!" Alaney replied.
"You didn't gamble did you?" Catherine asked.
"Only fruit machines. But Casey made a hundred dollars profit on the tables" Alaney remarked excited.
"He's gotta be careful" Catherine warned.
"He is" Alaney reassured her.
Alaney watched as Catherine suddenly went pale, ran over to the sink and threw up. Alaney rushed over.
"Catherine, are you alright?" Alaney asked concerned.
"Fine" Catherine replied.
"You don't look fine. Have you eat something dodgy?. Are you ill?" Alaney asked.
"No, it's nothing. I'm fine" Catherine told her.
"It doesn't seem like nothing!. Is this the first time you've thrown up lately?" Alaney asked.
"It's nothing. O.k., if you want to know. It's just when I think about - you know - what happened. It makes me nauseous that's all. I'm just finding it hard to digest food since then" Catherine confessed.
"You be careful!. Stress and psych problems can cause real damage to you physically" Alaney commented.
"That family!. There's something wrong with their heads. I just hope it's not genetic!" Alaney remarked.
"I've recently realised something about that family. It's when they won't tell you that you know their telling the truth. It's when they give information away too easily that you know their lying!" Alaney commented.
"Is it my presence that set it off?" Alaney asked guilty and concerned.
"No. Don't worry counselling will help" Catherine reassured her.
"O.k. We'll see how it goes" Alaney agreed not entirely convinced.
Later that day, Catherine had been at work a full hour before Alaney arrived to tell Grissom she was leaving. It had been an hour full of Sara's constant questions and enquiries about how Alaney was: "Did she say anything else about me?", "Is she still angry?", "Is her health alright?", etcetera.
Alaney walked into the department and up to reception. The receptionist recognised her immediately and enquired about her health. Alaney chatted with her and then ask to speak to Grissom. Alaney told Lindsay to sit outside waiting and she went to Grissom's office.
"Alaney!. How are you?. When are you coming back to join us?. Do you know yet?" Grissom asked.
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm going to have to resign, Grissom" Alaney told him matter of factly.
"What?. Resign?. Why?. What about college?" Grissom asked astounded.
"I've done the required amount and now I need to get a job. I'm sorry for the short notice but my circumstances have changed and I now need financial support" Alaney explained.
"What do you mean changed?. Can't Sara support you?" Grissom asked.
"I no longer live with or want to know Sara Sidle" Alaney remarked.
"What?. Why?. Look it will blow over" Grissom responded.
"No it won't, Grissom!. Don't patronise me!" Alaney snapped.
Sara was passing and noticed Alaney in Grissom's office. Sara came rushing in.
"Alaney" Sara remarked.
"Excuse me, this is a private meeting" Alaney remarked coldly.
"What's going on?" Grissom asked.
"I have little respect for that woman, Grissom. But the microscopic amount I do have for her is not allowing me to tell you. You respect her and she yearns that approval. If I were tell you the truth about her then she may lose your respect and even she doesn't deserve that" Alaney responded.
Alaney turned to Sara,
"I'm leaving CSI" she told her.
"What?. Why?" Sara asked.
"That's what I'd like to know!" Grissom remarked
"Why do you think?. Anyway, I need financial support now" she replied to Sara.
"I'll financially support you. Please just stay at CSI. It's the only way I get to see you if you won't live with me" Sara responded.
"No thank you, I don't want your guilt ridden money. Anyway, I've accepted the job now" Alaney remarked.
"Will you still come visit us on your time off?" Sara asked.
"I can't. My job tends to work out that whenever your working I'm working" Alaney remarked coldly.
"Alaney, don't be silly" Sara responded.
Alaney opened the door and called Lindsay in. Catherine heard and came in too.
"I'm Lindsay's new nanny" Alaney remarked.
"Is this true?" Grissom asked Catherine surprised.
"She insisted and I do need one" Catherine replied feeling guilty.
Sara was couldn't believe Catherine could do this to her. She gave her a betrayed look and walked out on the verge of tears. Alaney took Lindsay's hand and walked out too.
"Good day Grissom. See you tomorrow Catherine. I've got to go home and get Lindsay to bed" Alaney remarked leaving.
"What is with those two?" Grissom asked bemused.
"Don't ask" Catherine replied.
"So what's it like having Alaney living with you?" Grissom asked interested.
"Stressful!. She can be such a pain in the arse. We know her as mature Alaney - professional, intelligent and responsible. But when she's at home she can be so stubborn, immature and, well, teenage like!. She was meant to come move into mine yesterday afternoon and instead she went to her boyfriend's without telling me. I was worried sick!. I felt like wringing her neck!. Having said that I still love her dearly. She's like one of my own already. I love having her around. I'll tell you it definitely gave me a glimpse of what Lindsay will be like as a teenager. I'm not looking forward to it!. She even has blonde hair like Lindsay!. Teenagers!" Catherine commented.
The next morning, Sara got a phone call on her cell phone while out in the field. It was Alaney. Sara was delighted.
"Alaney?" Sara replied enthusiastic.
"Can we meet for lunch?" Alaney asked still sounding cold.
"Of course!. Umm, I should be finished or at least be able to take a break at say 1pm in the diner round the corner?" Sara replied.
"Sure" Alaney agreed monotonously.
At 1pm, Alaney entered the diner. She found Michelle and Sara already waiting there.
"Oh look who it is! If it isn't Sara's little side kick!" Alaney remarked.
"Alaney, don't be like that. I'm here for you both. I'm neutral" Michelle responded.
"Alaney, I'm so glad your finally coming round. I've" Sara was interrupted.
"Wait a moment. Before you get all excited - I'm not here for a reconciliation. I just wanted the name of my natural father" Alaney told them.
"What?" Sara responded.
"Come on Sara, you owe me that much" Alaney insisted annoyed.
"He doesn't want to know you" Sara told her.
"So he knows. Well, I don't care if he doesn't want to know me - I just want to see what he looks like" Alaney explained.
"There's no point" Sara told her.
"Let me decide that. Now tell me his name and where you met him" Alaney demanded.
"No!. Alaney forget about him he's a nobody" Sara insisted.
"Who is he?" Alaney demanded.
Sara sighed.
"Just some boy. That's all you need to know" Sara replied.
"What's his name?" Alaney requested.
"He's a nobody, Alaney. He's not worth knowing" Sara insisted.
"Sara!" Alaney demanded.
Sara sighed.
"Dean Rampling. He went a school near mine" Sara lied.
"Rubbish!. You gave that away too easily!. You're lying!" Alaney accused her.
"It's the truth!. Accept it or don't - it's up to you" Sara insisted
Alaney grabbed her bag and began to storm off. Michelle followed after her.
"Alaney!, Alaney!" Michelle called out while running down the street.
Alaney stopped.
"Who's my father, Michelle?" Alaney asked.
"It's Sara's right to tell you not mine" Michelle replied.
"Then we have nothing more to talk about" Alaney responded and walked off.
"Alaney!" Michelle called out.
Alaney stopped one more time.
"What?" Alaney asked annoyed.
"She really loves you know. You've got to forgive her. Have you listened to the album lately?" Michelle told her.
"No. I've been a bit busy with my life falling apart, Michelle!" Alaney responded.
"Well do. Listen to it and you'll hear how much she loves you. She wrote 'Goodbye to you' because she predicted you'd hate her. I always thought you'd forgive her. She was right you have reacted with hate. Please Laney just listen to her songs. She loves you that's all that matters now" Michelle suggested.
Alaney walked off.
"Listen to the album!" Michelle called after her as Alaney walked off.
Tears began falling from Alaney's eyes as she walked away and got into a cab.
When Alaney got back to Catherine's, she found Catherine and Lindsay being sick.
"Guys, are you alright?. Oh my!. Catherine, I think you've got a bug not posttraumatic stress!. And it looks like you've given the bug to Lindsay. I knew there was something up with you. Don't worry we'll get you to both to the doctors and your be as right as rain in no time" Alaney remarked.
Catherine went to clear up Lindsay sick but Alaney stopped her.
"I'll sort her out. You sort yourself out" Alaney gestured.
Alaney cleaned Lindsay up and got her into bed.
"There you go. You get some rest o.k.?. Nightie night" Alaney said to her and kiss her on the forehead.
Alaney went out and checked on how Catherine was.
"Your lucky you were only sick once. Lindsay's been sick three times now. Have you guys eaten anything dodgy lately?" Alaney asked.
Catherine seemed to be in a trance.
"Sorry what?. Oh umm. I don't know. Lindsay had some chicken curry that could have been it - but I didn't. I don't know. I just don't know" Catherine got up and began lightly crying.
"Catherine, what's wrong?. It's just a tummy bug or something. Don't worry it will go away. Are you worried about Lindsay?. Don't worry I'll look after her. You just get some rest. Is it Boby?. Are you thinking of him?" Alaney asked.
"It's going to be fine, Alaney. Don't worry" Catherine told her and left.
Alaney was quite confused.
"That poor woman's screwed up" Alaney remarked with concern.
"Stupid pig!" Alaney exclaimed.
Alaney sat up with Lindsay for an hour before deciding that she was properly asleep and could be left alone. Alaney went into Catherine's room to find her spring-cleaning.
"Are you feeling better?" Alaney asked confused.
"Oh yeah. If you want to go out you feel free. Oh angel, you don't need to be Lindsay's nanny 24/7. You need a life too. I feel fine. I feel much better now. Right as rain" Catherine replied cheerily.
"Well o.k. I'll be at Casey's if you need me" Alaney replied.
"Wonderful" Catherine remarked cheerfully.
Alaney was very confused now.
Alaney grabbed Michelle's album and left.
Alaney and Casey listened to 'Goodbye to you', 'Desperately', 'Its you', 'Everywhere', 'I'd rather be in love', 'You set me free' and 'Drop in the ocean' at his place. Alaney cried the whole way through all of them. But it was towards the end of 'Drop in the ocean' that Alaney finally told Casey how she was feeling,
"I want to love her. I really do!. And I do love her!. But I just can't forgive her for what she's done. Too much hurt has been caused by her" she commented.
"But once you heal" Casey suggested trying to comfort her.
"I can never heal, Casey!. She'll never change from the person she is. On top of all that, I just can't trust her ever again!. All she ever does is lie. I can't trust what she says. But I wanna love her!. I do so much!" Alaney sobbed.
Alaney broke down and Casey hugged her.
"It's o.k., baby. It's all going to be o.k. You've got me. I'll be here for you through it all. Forever" Casey gestured.
Once 'Drop in the ocean' had finished, 'Here with me' came on. Alaney was busy sobbing and all she noticed was the chorus.
("I know you had to go away. I died just a little. I feel it now you're the one I need. I believe that I would cry just a little just to have you back here with me")
"She's not even sorry!. How am I meant to forgive someone who's not sorry?!. She says she loves me and misses me but that she doesn't regret giving me away. I just don't understand!" Alaney whaled back into Casey's arm.
The next day, Alaney and Catherine were having coffee together in Catherine's kitchen when Alaney's mobile rang. She looked down at the screen but didn't recognise the number.
"Hello Alaney here. Who is it?" Alaney answered.
"Hello Alaney?. It's Boby" the person down the phone answered.
Alaney was startled. Boby hardly ever spoke to her let alone rang her!. What was he up to?. Alaney's immediate reaction was that she couldn't let Catherine know who was on the phone. So she excused herself and took the call in her room.
"Hello?. Hello Alaney are you still there?" Boby called down the phone.
"What do you want?" Alaney whispered.
"Sara told me that you found out about her. I wanted to meet up and discuss it with you" Boby told her.
"No way. Do you think I'm stupid?. Your trying to kill me, remember" Alaney reminded him.
"Don't be silly, I'm not trying to kill you. Alaney, do you think I'd donate a kidney to you if I wanted to kill you?" Boby reminded her.
"I suppose not" Alaney responded.
"No. Come on. Anyhow, we won't be alone - Libby will be there" Boby told her.
"Oh yeah, like she can do much!" Alaney remarked.
"You shouldn't underestimate her you know. She's more powerful than she seems. For a start, she'd probably literally kill me if I laid a finger on you. Just because she doesn't stand up for herself doesn't mean she doesn't stand up for her kids" Boby argued.
"I'm not her kid" Alaney commented looking for a compliment.
"You're her relative. So you are one of her kids. Hey! - even if you weren't related - as long as a child lives in our community their one of her kids" Boby told her.
Alaney sighed.
"O.k. Where and When?" Alaney asked.
"We're rented a house in a small forest next to Lake Mead, near Henderson. Write down this address 33 Hoyland forest, it's the south end of the forest near the '147' road. Be there 1pm tomorrow" Boby informed her.
"I'll be there. Libby better be too" Alaney warned.
One o'clock that very next afternoon Alaney approached the very house Boby had asked her to. She rang the doorbell and Boby opened it.
"Come in" he smiled.
Alaney was very suspicious but she walked in all the same. She was glad to see Libby when she walked in.
"Alaney!. It's good to see you. So to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?. I thought you weren't talking to Sara - how did you know we were here?" Libby asked.
"Boby invited me" Alaney told her.
"He did?" Libby was surprised.
"Boby darling, can I have a word, please?" Libby asked.
Boby and Libby went over to the corner of the room.
"What are you up to, Boby?. If you lay a hand on that girl I swear I will drag myself down that police station with two broken legs if needs be. Don't lay a hand on her. This has nothing to do with her" Libby answered.
"Elizabeth, how can think that?. I'm simply getting to know the girl. She is my granddaughter after all. Anyway, I've been thinking. Now that she knows and half the world knows that Sara's her mother. Well maybe it's a bad idea to push her away. I mean if her grandparents ignore her people are more likely to suspect there's a reason. I'm simply letting go of my barriers and getting to know my granddaughter like I've always wanted to" Boby whispered.
"Granddaughter!. Is that what you tell yourself?" Libby smirked but still whispered.
"Watch it!" Boby warned her.
Libby sighed and nodded.
"We were just making some tea and cakes. Would you like some, darling?. Boby's made a wonderful lemon cake" Libby asked her.
"Ummm, yes please" Alaney worriedly agreed.
Boby brought his cake over and Libby brought over the tea. Libby poured them all a cup of tea and Boby gave them all a piece of cake. While sitting there, Alaney thought to herself how strange this was. In all of her eighteen years of growing up in the same community as them, and even being fostered by their sister, this was only the second time the three of them had never sat down to tea. Furthermore, this was the only time it meant something to Alaney. Alaney actually trusted Boby for the first time in her life. His proofs for not wanting to kill her all were or had come true.
"Alaney, I realise we've been a bit cold over the years and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise on behalf of both of us. We just didn't want people to associate you with Sara and maybe we took that a bit far" Boby explained.
Libby agreed and nodded.
"Therefore, I'd like to start by extending the offer to you to free to call Libby and me - Grandma and Granddad" Boby gestured.
Libby choked on her tea and gave Boby a shocked look. Libby looked down and she had got tea all down her white top.
"Sorry. Excuse me, I must go and change. I won't be a minute" Libby excused her.
Libby left.
Boby sighed. He looked distressed. Alaney was quote concerned.
"Alaney", Boby said in a serious tone, "I just want you to know that - well that I think Sara's behaviour has been disgraceful. I'm not surprised you're not talking to her. I guess that's why me and her never got along. It was just after you were born. I made my feelings on her actions very clear. I love her but honestly I was ashamed of her for abandoning you like that. We begged her to keep you but she wouldn't. I told her that she needed to take responsibility for her actions and that you were a human being with feelings too. I've always regretted not taking you in myself - ourselves. But Sara gave you to Miranda without telling us. I did consider taking you back but she went hysterical anytime Miranda brought you over. I'm so sorry. I should have done more. So as a consequence, we always used to argue about you. So she stopped talking to me. She used Libby and mine's rocky relationship as an excuse to not talk to me - But I always knew it was because I made her feel guilty. I guess I made her feel like a bad person and so she turned it around on me. What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry it turned out the way it did for you. I'm sorry you never got your natural mother it's partly our fault" Boby apologised.
"Boby. I'm not stupid. Your 'rocky relationship' is all down to you. You're a asshole and that will never change. But thank you. Thank you all the same for sticking up for me. For defending my corner when I couldn't" Alaney commented.
She finished her sentence by putting her hand on his in gratitude.
Libby re-entered.
"Elizabeth!. It's good you're here. I wanted you to be present when I asked Alaney this. You see I was thinking yesterday morning and I had an idea of how we could make things up to you. You see, Alaney. Well I was wondering. You see we've rented this house in Las Vegas for a month. We seem to be always here and so we thought we'd stay a while - a month. See if we can sort you guys out. But Libby and I get so lonely without Sara around and you need a place to stay and a family. Well anyway I was thinking, so we're here for a month and I was just wondering if - Ummm - if you would you would like to live with us - Libby and I" Boby suggested.
Libby choked on her tea again. This time luckily she was wearing a black top. She was flabbergasted. So was Alaney.
"Live with you?!?!" Alaney exclaimed.
"What?!?" Libby exclaimed.
"That is it!. Boby, word now! - over there!" Libby demanded.
The pair went off to the corner of the room again.
"O.k. Boby, there are some things I'll buy but now I know your up to something!. There is no way that girl is living within two metres of you!. How stupid do you think I am?" Libby whispered angrily.
"Libby, Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I don't trust you!"
"I make one mistake and you never let me forget that"
"You can't accidentally rape your daughter!"
"The only crime I'm guilty of is loving Sara too much"
"What if you love this one too much?"
"It was a mistake. I've never done it again. I've never said or done anything inappropriate to her or any girl after that night. I have a mental disorder and your treating me like a criminal. You can't help your chemicals, Libby. I was ill but now I'm better. Please Libby you've got to let me get on with my life. I know I've lost Sara. I just want a daughter again and I won't muck it up this time. I'll treat her right" Boby begged.
Libby sighed.
"So come after 18 years of calling her 'it' and not giving a stuff about her you want to 'get to know her' and are now acknowledging her as your daughter?" Libby asked suspiciously.
"This isn't suddenly. We were so busy avoiding her that I hardly even knew her. She's a lovely girl. And like I said people are going to suspect if we don't offer our homeless granddaughter a home and a family. I swear scout's honour I won't hurt her. It's just - well, I've as good as lost Sara - I just want a daughter. And I just happen to have one spare. I'd love to get to know her and start anew. I just want to be like a normal father and daughter" Boby explained.
"But she can't know who you are" Libby reminded him.
"I'll just have to settle with granddad . I'm prepared for that. I just want a family - any family" Boby replied.
Libby sighed.
"O.k. But I'm watching you!" Libby reluctantly agreed.
Boby nodded.
Libby and Boby sat back down.
"Listen you guys, thanks for the offer but. Well you see. Boby I've only just got the desire to have a civil conversation with you today. I'm not quite ready to move in with someone I hate as much as you. You're still a asshole. But thanks for the offer" Alaney explained.
"Well think about it" Boby seem undefeated.
"I better be going. Catherine will wonder where I am if I spend too long away" Alaney excused herself as she got up.
"This was nice. Thanks" Alaney told them.
"It was lovely seeing you, dear - darling. Welcome to the family" Libby said as she came over, hugged her and kissed her cheek.
Boby then came over and did the same. It was almost like maybe he was trying to top Libby.
Once Alaney left, Libby turned to Boby and remarked,
"She's not coming. How could you expect her to want to live with you after all she knows about you?".
"She'll change her mind" Boby smiled.
"Why?. How do you know?. What have you done?" Libby asked concerned.
"I've done nothing. I just know her. She wants family. She wants natural family. Any natural family" Boby explained.
"Wanna bet?. Any?" Libby laughed.
"Any but Sara. And anyway, she worships you. You're her ideal mom" Boby reiterated.
"What?. Why would you think that?. I'm a terrible mom" Libby responded.
"No, your not!. Your brilliant!. As for her - well, you can just tell by the way she's always looked at you" Boby commented.
Casey noticed that Alaney wasn't listening to a word he was saying. She had been even more pre-occupied than usual this visit.
"What are you thinking?" Casey asked.
"What?. Umm. Nothing. Can I use your phone?. I need to do something" Alaney replied.
"Sure what?" Casey agreed.
"Sara told me this name for my father. It's probably unlikely to be true knowing her. But I can't get it out of my mind just in case it is him. I mean why would she lie?. Why wouldn't she want me to know my father?. Why does it matter to her?" Alaney explained.
"She might be trying to protect you" Casey suggested.
"From what?" Alaney commented.
"He might not be very nice. She might know that he'll hurt your feelings"
"Well I'm a big girl. I can take whatever he says. I just want a go. Even just a photo of him" Alaney replied.
"Well go try this name then. How are you going to check?" Casey asked.
"Well, I'll get the number of the school district office from my friend and ask them. Sara said he went to a school nearby. If so then he's on the district school district register. It's worth a try" Alaney explained.
So Alaney did that.
"Hello?. Is that Novato unified school district office?", Alaney asked, "I was hoping you could help me".
Alaney asked for Dean Rampling. They said they couldn't give that information out. Alaney explained she was looking for her father. She pleaded and begged. Eventually the woman agreed to make an exception even though technically it was 'against regulation'.
"What did you say his name was?" the woman asked.
"Dean Rampling" Alaney replied anxiously.
The woman searched the computer. Alaney had to remind herself to breath throughout the waiting.
"I'm sorry madam. We have no record of a Dean Rampling" the woman informed her.
"Well try 1980 to 1990. Are you sure he can't have been put in the wrong date. It could be any date!" Alaney panicked.
"Madam, I've already tried that. There's no record of a Dean Rampling ever going to a Novato school" the woman informed her.
"Could there be some mistake?" Alaney asked.
"No madam. I'm sorry. I'm 100% certain. A pupil cannot be just missed off a register - even if they were missed it would be corrected" the woman replied.
"Thank you" Alaney gestured on the verge of tears.
Alaney put the phone down and burst into floods of tears. She ran into his arms.
"He doesn't exist!. She lied to me" Alaney whaled.
An hour later, Alaney was finally calm. She sat curled up on Casey's sofa and wrapped up in his arms.
"I thought I knew her. But the Sara I knew would never get pregnant at thirteen. I just don't understand how she could. I'm only accepting it because it's true" Alaney shared.
"Alaney, I've been meaning to talk to you about that" Casey shared.
Casey took a deep breath.
"I've been thinking and - I think you should forgive her" Casey told her.
"What?!?. Why?" Alaney exclaimed annoyed.
She got up with a start and began to confront him.
"Alaney, don't you remember what you were like at thirteen/fourteen?" Casey reminded her.
"I wasn't like her!" Alaney was disgusted.
"You were a rage of hormones though. Look just here me out. All I remember from being that age, is that personality or social standing doesn't determine who actually has sex. It's about how out of control your hormones get. People can get so desperate to fit in with being popular that they go just as far or too far as the so called 'popular' kids. It's a messed up time and I don't think it's fair to hold her responsible for something she did at that age. Your head is so messed up you can't decide what's best for you - What's right or wrong or what the consequences are. The only thing to determine your behaviour during that time is how out of control your hormones get. You can't blame her" Casey argued.
"Of course you can!. I can't believe your taking her side!. I thought I could count on you!" Alaney shouted as she grabbed her coat and left.
"Alaney!. Alaney!. Come back!. I'm sorry!. Aren't I allowed a opinion, at least?" he called after her.
Alaney was back in floods of tears as she left Casey's flat. She picked up her cell phone and dialled a number.
"Hi Boby. It's Alaney", Alaney spoke down the phone, "I was just wondering. When can I move in?".