Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, if I did I wouldn't post it
hear instead of making the millions I deserve.
A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long, stupid ff.net decided to freeze my account again that is also the explanation to the number of chapters posted at once.
Fine Line Between Love and Hate Chapter Twelve
Randy couldn't help but hug the woman who walked in the door. She looked just as gorgeous as she had the previous night even though she was dressed casually.
He wasn't sure what to think when she said that they needed to talk. To him it seemed like they were getting along better, and she was beginning to trust him again, which is what he wanted all along. It might have taken him nearly ten years to realize it but he finally realized he needed her.
"Okay, just pick a place," Randy said knowing that he needed to hear what she had to say.
Ali didn't respond just grabbed his hand and lead him upstairs. The most private place she could think of was either Bob's office assuming it was vacant at the moment or, as much as she hated to admit it, his bedroom.
She didn't stop until she got up to Bob's office and only then it was only to knock on the door. When she didn't get an answer she opened the door.
"What did you want to say?" Randy asked.
Now Ali didn't know how to say what she had so neatly planned out in her head. She knew unless she as honest with him they wouldn't have much of a friendship, and she figured that he wanted to be more than just friends.
"You confuse me to no end," Ali told him honestly. "Not even two weeks ago you were calling me a bitch and saying everyone hated me, and then you offered to leave your own party when I was the one that had said the more hurtful things, then you come over and apologize and ask me to go to dinner with you."
"Ali at the party we were both a little high strung emotionally and we'd been drinking," Randy reminded her. "We were both bitter."
"That doesn't explain anything," Ali told him.
"We wouldn't have normally said those things to each other. Honestly that night aside from how beautiful you were my first thought was to go upstairs and not even attend my party, but the doorbell rang before I could make any excuses," Randy said. Then I tried to make the best out of it, but I guess we were both to highly emotional to deal with each other at the time," Randy explained.
"I didn't want to get along with you," Ali reluctantly admitted, "but somehow I found myself wanting to be around you even if it was only in the same room."
"I know that feeling," Randy told her. He wondered where all this was coming from. He'd wanted to tell her he liked her since he apologized, but he hadn't wanted to scare her away again.
"I was honestly going to find an excuse not to go to dinner with you last night, but every time I tried I couldn't come up with one," Ali said. She knew that his kiss as innocent as it had been changed he whole out look on everything about him, and it scared her.
"That's a sign you know," Randy said. "If you really wouldn't have wanted to go then you would have been able to think of a way out if it." Randy hoped that hadn't sounded as stupid to her as it had to him. The last thing he needed was to make a complete idiot out of himself.
"But what I want and what I need are two different things," Ali told him. She could barely explain their friendship to herself let alone to him.
Randy had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he didn't want to hear the rest of her sentence. Nothing good could come out of the beginning.
"I need someone who I'm not feeling so conflicted about all the time, someone who's there for me in the middle of the night when I remember all the cruel things that happened to us at our own hands, and the things that have happened to me since. You're always busy traveling around the world doing what you love more than anything else, what you've wanted to do since you were like eight years old. I want to be more than friends with you and see if all our relationship needed was time to grow, but I need a grounding force right now." Ali was trying to hold back the tears that were forming. The thing she wanted more than anything else is the one thing she needed to stay away from more than ever. "We can be friends Randy but right now, with the way things are we can't be more."
Randy had a feeling that she would pull away now. He'd noticed her voice slowly changing through the conversation, and now what he'd never wanted to hear, was being said. "Ali how do you know we couldn't make something work? Just because I may be in a different place as you doesn't mean that I wouldn't be there for you." Randy was trying to keep his voice from sounding to emotional or they'd just argue again and be all the way back to square one.
"Randy we couldn't make it work when we had the slight innocence advantage almost ten years ago, can you honestly prove to me that we've changed that much?" Ali asked. Her heart was saying that she needed to stop and just tell him what she was feeling not what her brain was thinking, but she couldn't. Her brain was telling her to push him away as fast as she could, and doing this was the only way she could, without destroying him.
"You've said it yourself, Ali, we're more mature now. We've had enough experiences to know what being in a real relationship is like. We know what we want and what we need," Randy told her presenting all the evidence he could think of, but given the heightened state of his emotions he didn't think it was very convincing. "You never know what will happen until you try."
"We did try Randy, we were what everyone thought of as the perfect couple, I loved you," Ali admitted. She'd never admitted that to anyone, and never though she would admit it to him.
"And I still loved you," Randy told her. "Every girl I have ever met, and you can ask Leigh about this has been compared t o you. I was looking for someone like you but now I've realized that there isn't anyone else."
Tears were spilling out both Randy and Ali's eyes both because of what they said and what the other said. Ali couldn't stand to hurt him but she also couldn't stand to get hurt again, and she wasn't talking about he hurt she felt when she was only fourteen she'd been in a succession of bad relationships since then, worse than theirs ever got by far.
"Something tells me this doesn't only have to do with me," Randy said. "Someone else hurt you way more than I did."
"Your right and that combined with my parents' death and everything else going on in both of our lives makes it impossible to start anything more than a friendship between us," Ali told him calming down slightly. If she was ever going to get through this she needed to calm down and think not act all emotional.
"And if I don't let you walk out of my life like you want me to right now," Randy said. He knew she had only used the just friends excuse because he was so busy that inevitably they would end up losing touch.
"Randy I don't want you to walk out of my life, I want us to be friends, just nothing more than friends," Ali told him honestly. Tears were starting to blurring her vision again, and threatening to spill over.
"Ali I want you in my life, I took me way to long to realize I need you in my life to much to let you go now, so if you want to keep things purely on a friendship level than I'll just have to deal with it," Randy said after a pause. I like almost cried writing this chapter, so I hope you all loved it. Please read and review.
A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long, stupid ff.net decided to freeze my account again that is also the explanation to the number of chapters posted at once.
Fine Line Between Love and Hate Chapter Twelve
Randy couldn't help but hug the woman who walked in the door. She looked just as gorgeous as she had the previous night even though she was dressed casually.
He wasn't sure what to think when she said that they needed to talk. To him it seemed like they were getting along better, and she was beginning to trust him again, which is what he wanted all along. It might have taken him nearly ten years to realize it but he finally realized he needed her.
"Okay, just pick a place," Randy said knowing that he needed to hear what she had to say.
Ali didn't respond just grabbed his hand and lead him upstairs. The most private place she could think of was either Bob's office assuming it was vacant at the moment or, as much as she hated to admit it, his bedroom.
She didn't stop until she got up to Bob's office and only then it was only to knock on the door. When she didn't get an answer she opened the door.
"What did you want to say?" Randy asked.
Now Ali didn't know how to say what she had so neatly planned out in her head. She knew unless she as honest with him they wouldn't have much of a friendship, and she figured that he wanted to be more than just friends.
"You confuse me to no end," Ali told him honestly. "Not even two weeks ago you were calling me a bitch and saying everyone hated me, and then you offered to leave your own party when I was the one that had said the more hurtful things, then you come over and apologize and ask me to go to dinner with you."
"Ali at the party we were both a little high strung emotionally and we'd been drinking," Randy reminded her. "We were both bitter."
"That doesn't explain anything," Ali told him.
"We wouldn't have normally said those things to each other. Honestly that night aside from how beautiful you were my first thought was to go upstairs and not even attend my party, but the doorbell rang before I could make any excuses," Randy said. Then I tried to make the best out of it, but I guess we were both to highly emotional to deal with each other at the time," Randy explained.
"I didn't want to get along with you," Ali reluctantly admitted, "but somehow I found myself wanting to be around you even if it was only in the same room."
"I know that feeling," Randy told her. He wondered where all this was coming from. He'd wanted to tell her he liked her since he apologized, but he hadn't wanted to scare her away again.
"I was honestly going to find an excuse not to go to dinner with you last night, but every time I tried I couldn't come up with one," Ali said. She knew that his kiss as innocent as it had been changed he whole out look on everything about him, and it scared her.
"That's a sign you know," Randy said. "If you really wouldn't have wanted to go then you would have been able to think of a way out if it." Randy hoped that hadn't sounded as stupid to her as it had to him. The last thing he needed was to make a complete idiot out of himself.
"But what I want and what I need are two different things," Ali told him. She could barely explain their friendship to herself let alone to him.
Randy had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he didn't want to hear the rest of her sentence. Nothing good could come out of the beginning.
"I need someone who I'm not feeling so conflicted about all the time, someone who's there for me in the middle of the night when I remember all the cruel things that happened to us at our own hands, and the things that have happened to me since. You're always busy traveling around the world doing what you love more than anything else, what you've wanted to do since you were like eight years old. I want to be more than friends with you and see if all our relationship needed was time to grow, but I need a grounding force right now." Ali was trying to hold back the tears that were forming. The thing she wanted more than anything else is the one thing she needed to stay away from more than ever. "We can be friends Randy but right now, with the way things are we can't be more."
Randy had a feeling that she would pull away now. He'd noticed her voice slowly changing through the conversation, and now what he'd never wanted to hear, was being said. "Ali how do you know we couldn't make something work? Just because I may be in a different place as you doesn't mean that I wouldn't be there for you." Randy was trying to keep his voice from sounding to emotional or they'd just argue again and be all the way back to square one.
"Randy we couldn't make it work when we had the slight innocence advantage almost ten years ago, can you honestly prove to me that we've changed that much?" Ali asked. Her heart was saying that she needed to stop and just tell him what she was feeling not what her brain was thinking, but she couldn't. Her brain was telling her to push him away as fast as she could, and doing this was the only way she could, without destroying him.
"You've said it yourself, Ali, we're more mature now. We've had enough experiences to know what being in a real relationship is like. We know what we want and what we need," Randy told her presenting all the evidence he could think of, but given the heightened state of his emotions he didn't think it was very convincing. "You never know what will happen until you try."
"We did try Randy, we were what everyone thought of as the perfect couple, I loved you," Ali admitted. She'd never admitted that to anyone, and never though she would admit it to him.
"And I still loved you," Randy told her. "Every girl I have ever met, and you can ask Leigh about this has been compared t o you. I was looking for someone like you but now I've realized that there isn't anyone else."
Tears were spilling out both Randy and Ali's eyes both because of what they said and what the other said. Ali couldn't stand to hurt him but she also couldn't stand to get hurt again, and she wasn't talking about he hurt she felt when she was only fourteen she'd been in a succession of bad relationships since then, worse than theirs ever got by far.
"Something tells me this doesn't only have to do with me," Randy said. "Someone else hurt you way more than I did."
"Your right and that combined with my parents' death and everything else going on in both of our lives makes it impossible to start anything more than a friendship between us," Ali told him calming down slightly. If she was ever going to get through this she needed to calm down and think not act all emotional.
"And if I don't let you walk out of my life like you want me to right now," Randy said. He knew she had only used the just friends excuse because he was so busy that inevitably they would end up losing touch.
"Randy I don't want you to walk out of my life, I want us to be friends, just nothing more than friends," Ali told him honestly. Tears were starting to blurring her vision again, and threatening to spill over.
"Ali I want you in my life, I took me way to long to realize I need you in my life to much to let you go now, so if you want to keep things purely on a friendship level than I'll just have to deal with it," Randy said after a pause. I like almost cried writing this chapter, so I hope you all loved it. Please read and review.