Chapter 12

"I speak with passion; from the heart! That's what matters most!" - Laguna Loire

It was still raining. Thunder split the air. Lightning flashed the sky. And Quistis was nearing her wit's end. The letters proved to be incomprehensible the moment her eyes grew nostalgic and her head began to ache. She didn't even notice that her handwriting had gone abysmal until she looked over her previous work and compared it to what she had just written. More like scribbled.

There was no denying how much she needed a break. She pinched the bridge of her nose then made a furtive glance at her wristwatch.

Six o'clock. She needed a break a long time ago. Has it been eight hours already? Minus her bathroom breaks, there weren't many reasons why she had to get up from her desk since she began working.

She moved her books to the side but left them open. Even if she pushed herself tonight, it's doubtful she'd make it to her deadline. And it's not as if she didn't set the date herself; she can move it back if she wished. It's just that she rarely had reason to do so. Not until an unlikely intrusion on her schedule occurred. Organization, she believed, is the key to success after all.

"Are you done?"

She twisted her head to the source of the question.

Seifer was turning the pages of a book he'd picked up beside her bed. "You've been at it since this morning," he continued without looking up.

She removed her glasses and placed them inside their case. "I'm amazed you've managed to keep silent ever since."

"I was reading," This time, he tossed her a cutting look as if to say that he does read and practically has more brains than mouth.

There was a considerably thick leather bound novel sitting on his right, no doubt he'd already finished in one sitting. She was thankful she didn't own any romantic drivels. He just didn't strike her as the bookish sort. But it was probably because he wasn't stuck anywhere else that drove him to read.

"You're bored," Her tone suggested that it was more of a deduction than a question.

"You just noticed?" He threw the book across the bed and stretched over to the window. "Can't believe it's still raining. It never rains in Balamb," he said more to himself than to anyone.

"You've been away very long. I hardly think you'd know what goes on in Balamb," she said testily.

His brows, thick but delicately winged, drew together. "I'm a traveler, I think I should know enough about the weather. But as for the goings-on," he pushed the curtains farther aside to expose more of the window before continuing, "You'd know more about it than I would since you live here exclusively."

Quistis had the habit of trying to read between the lines of people's conversations, and she had the suspicion that Seifer was really saying that her life is more banal compared to his mixed adventures in different lands. With different weather conditions, of course.

She couldn't keep from putting her two cents in for defense and said, "I get out from time to time when I get an assignment or two."

"Sounds like fun." His eyes, still never leaving the window, grew reflective.

"Sometimes."

Lightning struck and it practically lit up the room for a full second.

"Hmm, I bet," he drawled mindlessly, not really caring of what they were talking about anymore.

Quistis let out a sigh, a soft breathy sound that Seifer somehow felt across his entire body. "I don't think I can do anything about your boredom. It doesn't seem there's anything you can do around here besides read."

"I'll think of something," he muttered. He didn't say anything after that. He was busy looking outside.

Quistis didn't speak either. She was busy looking at him.

It was dead air.

The only element, which broke the silence, was the thundering roar from the heavens. In some strange way, Quistis didn't feel right sitting there in her own room. In her own skin. She couldn't bring the right words out of her mouth. She hated this. Silence. Mind numbing silence. It was easy enough to get annoyed and exchange blows with him. But when it comes down to polite conversation, she was drawing up a blank.

Seifer appeared ominous, standing there like some mighty god framed by the window as lightning crashes. Even if he had his back to her, she still found his stillness quite unsettling. She didn't know what to say once he suddenly puts on that dark demeanor. It would be like making a ripple on calm treacherous waters. She didn't know where to paddle.

He's got his battle with his demons. That was for sure. But she wasn't in the position to interfere with his torment, or he wouldn't have hidden it well. Sometimes, she could almost see a desperate bleak look in his eyes, and there had to be a reason why he suddenly fell silent. It was almost a struggle not to get up and lay a consoling hand on his shoulder. But she didn't know if he would accept that for something, or brush it away. Or he might give her an odd look that would say 'what are you doing', and so she chose to remain sitting there, staring at his back.

But as surprises went, he swiveled around with such alacrity that Quistis almost scrambled over her desk, horrified at the thought of being caught staring.

"I think I - " He stopped short then pulled his head back a bit and gave her a suspicious look. "Were you staring at me?"

Her eyes slid to his face. "No, I was - I was reading."

"Your book is closed," he indicated.

She gasped and looked down. "It's not!"

He smiled meaningfully, "But you still had to look to be sure, didn't you?"

Quistis had more restraint than she thought to have not picked up the mentioned book and aim it at his head. And just to think she was considering to comfort him earlier.

"I understand," he continued in a surprisingly cheerful tone, "I heard most women like the dark brooding type." Then he wiggled his brows for added effect signifying he knew what she was thinking.

"Well, I'm not most women," she said in a huff.

"No kidding."

She wanted to get off the subject and instead return to what he wanted to say earlier before he caught her staring. "Anyway, you were saying something."

He returned his attention back to the window. But this time, she could see his profile and not just his back. "Never mind, I already forgot."

Something about the tone of his voice said that he didn't forget, but rather, he'd refuse to share it at the last minute. She deflated at that. It was unwarranted that she should feel so. She had no right to expect Seifer to share his secrets with her.

Laguna regaled her with the accounts of his surveillance. But a deep coiling in her stomach wanted to find out more.

She wanted to know why he traveled so much, and the kinds of adventures he'd had. She wanted to know why he chose the gun-blade as his primary weapon, or the Hyperion for his insignia. And if she was feeling brave she'd ask him if he remembered any of their childhood. Something they had once shared, but lost somewhere along the way. But most of all, the scariest part of all and probably, if she wasn't too terrified to admit, the most thrilling; she wanted to ask if he'd missed her.

It was too late to cry over spilled milk now. Even if she swore that he will remain alien to her, she couldn't deny that he was a mystery she can't ignore. He was a puzzle. One minute he's being completely insufferable, the next he's trying to be lightheartedly nice then he would pull on this quiet behavior as if he was somewhere unreachable.

And why shouldn't she try to reach him? They will be living together until Laguna puts his plan into action (whatever that is). If they're going to share a roof over their heads, then the least they could do is be comfortable in each other's company if they weren't throwing insults.

She breathed in and braced herself for small talk. "Seifer?"

"Hmmn?" He still didn't face her.

"Did you miss - " She faltered.

Finally, he looked at her. "Did I miss what?"

"Did you miss Balamb?" She tilted her head to the side, eager to hear his answer.

He grew pensive for a moment, then moved himself to sit on the bed. They were now face to face with each other. The window at last forgotten.

Seifer moved his mouth several times before the words emerged. "I don't think so. It's a nice enough place but I can't find anything I might miss."

"Is that why you left? To find out if you'll miss Balamb?" Her questions just fell automatically. It seems like the proper question to an unlikely answer.

"No. I think I knew before then that I wouldn't miss Balamb at all."

Of course, she thought, he wouldn't miss Balamb. He wouldn't miss any place at all. This was a man who never calls anything home. And one has to have a home in order to miss it entirely. She couldn't have picked a better topic.

"How 'bout you? Did you miss me?" he asked wickedly.

Her blush was instantaneous. And her mouth was opening and closing, and it made her look like a fish out of water. What was she supposed to say to that? Wasn't she thinking along the same lines earlier? And here he is, actually having the audacity to ask her what she couldn't.

She began with a broken sentence. "I - I think - I mean - I uhh..."

"Relax," he said, laughter beginning to bubble up in him. "I wasn't serious."

Then her countenance changed. He had just made fun of her.

"You never are," she said sharply.

Oh, of course he likes making fun of her but his timing couldn't have been more perfect. The only way she could get through to this guy was through jokes and let him play with her emotions. Just when she thought she was falling into a decent conversation with him, he'd do something to embarrass her. The image of a book striking his head looked very tempting.

"Come on, you didn't take that seriously, did you?"

She didn't answer.

"Oh," he blinked. He suddenly felt like the worst sort of ass. "Well, if it's any consolation, I think I missed you." He was trying to smile, but his jaw was tense, and the corner of his lips wobbled.

The moment the words escaped his lips, it became apparently untrue.

Quistis' face contorted into that of infuriation and that was when Seifer realized he'd just said the exact wrong thing.

"You know, just when I thought I could talk to you like a normal human being, you'd go and say something from your ass."

He winced at her use of profanity. "Look, I - "

She cut him off, "Then you get the nerve to humiliate me." She thrashed a hand in the air and added, "And to make it worse, you try to humble yourself by saying something that's beyond believable."

"Hold on a moment, I - "

"You never take anything seriously. You don't care about anything an - "

Quistis didn't even have time to react when he yanked her from her seat, as his hand gripped tightly at her upper arms. And whatever she'd meant to say was lost, because she found herself staring into a pair of hot, angry, green orbs.

"Don't you dare tell me who I am," he said with enough vehemence in his voice. "You have no right to tell me what I am, and what I'm not."

He released his hold on her, slowly, as if he didn't even realize he'd put them there. "You don't know me," he hissed.

Quistis knew he possessed a temper. But she didn't know which buttons to push anymore.

She straightened, smoothing out her skirts in an awkward, defensive gesture, then she leveled a stony stare at him, to match his and said flippantly, "You're right. I don't know you."

Seifer tipped his head back and lifted his chin.

"You can't even find your own identity," she finished.

And then, while Seifer continued to stare at her with all the weight of the world, she swept out of the room. It was, she thought as she descended the steps of the Garden lobby, quite the most splendid exit of her existence.

It was really too bad, then, that the man she'd been leaving was the only one in whose company she wanted to remain.

Seifer slumped in a big heap on the bed. He felt the walls closing in on him, feeling every bit more of a prison than anything else. He had to get out of there. He didn't know how long he could stay within close range with Quistis anymore.

It seems like he'd always find a way to irritate her. He hadn't meant to. He didn't intend to, but damn it, he could never find the right words to say to her. It would always come out insulting, when all he really meant to be was funny. And then she would look at him as if he was some sort of three-headed monster, and ten times the fool.

He didn't know when it began. But when Quistis had given him that smile when she entered the room that morning, he felt like he was ten feet tall.

It scared him.

If a woman can put a man that high, then she can certainly bring him down in a hard fall.

He couldn't possibly imagine her in his life. He can't imagine anyone in his life. It is imperative, he thought angrily, that he must get away from there. Before he gets used to seeing her every waking moment.

Seifer fought off a groan. Damn, he'd hurt her. He really hadn't meant to injure her feelings. It seems he'd done irreparable damage to their unlikely truce.

And to wake up seeing her every morning was entirely something else. It was a big enough reason why he had to get away. She was a distraction. He wasn't blind. Quistis is a desirable woman, and she's got a fan club to prove it.

A man like him, trapped with an attractive woman like her, add a bed to that, and what kind of images would that leave him?

He leapt out of bed and ran to the window. Good. Still raining and no one was in sight. He shrugged out of his shirt and replaced it with his coat instead. He packed up his belongings and threw the cast off shirt in. Then he looked out the window again. Good, still no one.

"Boots, boots," he muttered, glancing around the room. Where the hell are his boots? Ah, there they were. He grabbed the pair and yanked them on.

Back to the window. Still no one. Excellent. If his calculations are correct, the ledge would lead straight to a roof which stretches out across the courtyard; a roof that was only ten to eleven feet from the ground. In no time, he'll be free.

Seifer threw one leg over the sill and stepped carefully on the ledge. From there, it was an easy steady, and balancing act to the low roof, then to the ground.

And from there, it was straight to the beach. To the very cold beach.

To take a very cold swim.

Quistis found herself standing at the front steps of Zell's house. She didn't plan on coming, she said as much to Irvine. But where else, besides her room could she go, where she didn't have to think about him.

The door opened and Zell was framed in the doorway. "Hey, you made it! Irvine said you couldn't come."

"I changed my mind," she said with a hesitant smile.

"Come in, come in." He ushered her inside and welcomed her to a view of the dinner table.

They were all there. Minus Rinoa, who probably returned home to Deling. Laguna was sitting at the head of the table. Squall appeared he'd rather be somewhere else, but the food was enough to persuade him to stay.

Then Selphie noticed her arrival. "Quistis!"

Everybody turned to see her.

"I thought you said you couldn't come," Irvine muttered from behind a glass of water.

"And miss Mrs. Dincht cooking?"

Mrs. Dincht, who had just emerged from the kitchen smiled at her. "You're just in time, take a seat, why don't you?"

"Thank you."

Irvine pulled out a chair for her at the end of the table. She'll be sitting at the corner of Selphie and Irvine. But before she sat, she heard Irvine whisper, "Why did you leave him alone? He'll be bored out of his wits."

"I could care less about his wits. He doesn't have any to start with," she said between gritted teeth, all the while trying to hold a smile.

"Is everything alright?" Laguna asked.

Quistis didn't miss entirely what he meant and she answered, "Yes, everything's fine." Laguna didn't look quite convinced, but he managed to smile anyway.

And because of - What the...?

Did she just see Squall fling a pea over Zell's head?

He's becoming stranger by the minute.

"Quistis, I've got the receipt for the shoes. You can return them if you want and buy yourself something else," Selphie reached in her purse then handed her a square piece of paper.

"No, I can't. It's not right," she refused. It was embarrassing to talk about money in mixed company, not to mention a pair of shoes. In front of men, nonetheless.

"I insist," Selphie shoved the receipt in Quistis' pockets. "I don't think you'll wear those again anyway."

"Oh," was all she could say. She smiled at Selphie's consideration.

Everybody was about to dig in when Laguna stood up and began clapping his glass with a spoon.

"I have an announcement to make." Laguna declared.

Zell was already munching on a broccoli while Squall was spooning mashed potatoes onto his plate, but their attention was solely focused on what Laguna was about to say.

"I think that Balamb is one of the nicest place I've ever had the pleasure to stay at," he paused and placed his glass back on the table.

Zell clapped and beamed a loopy grin. He's the only one clapping.

"I'm not finished, though" Laguna continued.

Zell ceased clapping.

"I can fish here anytime I want, I love the salt sea air. And most of all, I'm closer to the people I care about."

Quistis saw Squall reach for a glass of water before he choked on potatoes.

"So, everyone. You hear it first from me, that I am getting old and..." he stopped for emphasis in suspense.

They were hanging on to his words. Irvine leaned forward. Selphie leaned forward. And Zell leaned forward. Squall was going to lean forward but he caught himself just in time.

Laguna lifted his glass again and initiated a toast. "I'm going to resign. I decided to retire here in Balamb."

There was a clutter of spoons, forks and knives.

Zell choked on his bread stick.

Irvine was sputtering water.

Selphie looked like a startled bird.

And Squall, he just looked like a statue. In all conclusion, everyone was dumbfounded. And everyone remained that way as they ate.

By the time dinner was over, the rain still haven't ceased. They didn't broach anything more about Laguna's announcement, they just ate in silence. Probably because they could hear Squall's teeth grating against each other all through out the meal. They weren't in any position to question Laguna's decision, maybe except for Squall. That was why everybody had kept their mouth shut.

She has more problems to deal with than concern herself with a father-son spat.

It was inevitable but she's going to have to face Seifer eventually.

As she neared her door, she couldn't help but realize how she didn't like that they had parted ways in such awkward terms.

She was going to have to apologize.

He was right of course. As usual. He'd point something out that was beyond her understanding. He was good at that.

She finally stood in front of her door and was beginning to turn her key.

Quistis inhaled a lungful of air before swinging it open.

Her room was empty.

He wasn't there.

She released the breath she'd been holding and removed her coat to hang it behind her door. She glanced around to look for any sign of Seifer. The bathroom door was closed. He's probably inside, she thought.

She reached inside her pocket and felt a piece of paper and mindlessly crumpling it. Thinking it was garbage she threw it in her wastebasket and she let herself fall heavily on the bed.

She was about to close her eyes, about to fall asleep and forgetting she still have to apologize to Seifer, when her eyes flew open. "The receipt!" she nearly cried.

Quistis scrambled towards the garbage bin and plucked out the paper she'd thrown in earlier. How stupid was she to almost throw away three-hundred gills? She began to smooth out the squared piece when she realized what she had in her hands wasn't the receipt at all.

It was a note.

Her eyes strained to read the wrinkled letters.

Seifer Almasy,

I choose you to be my successor. You will not disappoint me. I have every faith in you. If you choose to acknowledge this calling, you know where to contact me.

Laguna Loire,

President of Esthar

Quistis' dropped the note, along with her jaw as if a lightning bolt had just struck her then and there. "Oh my God!"

She made her way to the bathroom door and started to knock. But when her knuckles connected to the wood, it swayed open.

Seifer wasn't there. She looked around the small room.

He wasn't anywhere.

He'd left. Seifer was gone.

A/N: I know...not much of a suspense. I'm sorry, but I won't be around for the next week. I shall be hiking in the great outdoors. No form of technology or civilization whatsoever. So, the next update will be Saturday, August 24, 20002. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FIRE MISTRESS!!

!!!Important!!! If you decide to review this chapter, please be considerate to those who have NOT yet read this part, and refrain from including anything that might spoil it for them. Your thoughtfulness will be very much appreciated. Thank you.