Chapter 16
"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." - Ingrid Bergman
Everyone gathered for tea at Irvine's house. Except for Squall who wasn't the least bit interested in tea or 'talk' for that matter. He'd rather be killing monsters in the Training Center back at Garden than be involved with the 'latest gossip'.
But after much deliberation, explanations and discussions, it was decided, more to Seifer's displeasure, that he resides with Irvine for the time being.
This caused a lot of brows knitting in confusion, and rising in surprise. All eyebrows except for Quistis.
"What the hell for?" Zell demanded.
"We'll see in a couple of days," Laguna said.
"Probably months," Quistis supplied.
Then Seifer mumbled, "How 'bout never."
"What was that?" Laguna asked. Obviously, his hearing sense is deteriorating in age.
"He said, 'I've got a fever'." Quistis answered quickly as she secretly elbowed Seifer then added with gritted teeth and a forced smile, "Isn't that right? You said you've got a fever."
Seifer just looked at her.
Quistis smiled awkwardly at everyone. "He's being difficult. Surely you all know how illness can make a person thus."
"Well I'll be...," Zell said blankly. "You're making excuses for him, it's like history repeating itself." He meant it as a joke, but nobody laughed.
The world stood still.
It had hit everyone, except maybe for Zell, how much impact those words had created on Seifer. He practically winced. No one really had the gall to mention anything about the 'past' or 'history' to his face other than Zell, whose intention was not to spite him, rather, he was just plain oblivious. It was maybe because his mouth moves faster than his brain cells. Not that Zell isn't capably intelligent, he wouldn't be a SeeD if he weren't. Zell is just, well, Zell. The guy who thinks everyone in the world gets along with each other.
"What?" he asked cluelessly.
It was a surprise Seifer didn't make a riposte that would sound something like 'Chicken-wuss' or any other wisecrack comebacks. He just stood there in silence. A very foreboding silence not even seen on Squall.
"You know, if you leave now, you'll be able to catch the last hotdog," Irvine hinted.
Zell looked at his watch. "Oh Grats!" And before anyone could say anything, he was gone.
"I'm going to follow Zell," Selphie incurred. "You know, make sure that he doesn't hurt himself on his way down."
She couldn't have said, I'll put him in his place more loudly.
"Good idea," Quistis murmured a bit unnervingly. She could hug Selphie for her remarkable insight.
But Selphie was off.
Squall had been long gone even before the whole 'talk' even began. But she doubt she'd have difficulty shooing him off anyway. Now all she was left with was Seifer, Laguna, and Irvine. All three whom she might want to consider strangling. They didn't budge.
She needed to speak with Seifer. And it would be impossible if she has an audience. She needed to talk to him before they parted ways. And maybe, just maybe, she might be able to persuade him to make the right decision.
"Laguna, I heard the Fest-Com is holding a bingo back at Garden," she said with a strangled smile. "I bet you don't want to miss that."
If anyone took notice that she was being obvious about ridding his company, it wasn't Laguna.
He laid both his hands on his cheeks in surprise. "Really? Wow, I've never bingo'd before. Sounds like fun."
Sometimes the old man could get so cute it was sickening. She could think of many reasons why 'bingo'd' couldn't be considered as a word, but none on why he was actually buying her ruse.
"Yes, really. I believe it starts at one p.m."
"Great!" Laguna cheered with a delighted smile. "Seifer, I'll see you tonight at Mrs. Dincht's for dinner. I need to talk with you." He turned to Irvine and said, "Make sure you bring him."
"Aye, aye, sir!" Irvine replied with a mock salute.
"Does Zell even know he's coming?" Quistis raised.
"Uhh...he will," Laguna replied, eager to get to the exit.
Quistis let out an unladylike snort. "After two consecutive nights, I can't believe Mrs. Dincht would still want us back at her house."
Irvine opened the door for Laguna and saw him out, when he returned he said, "You got to understand, Quistis, the poor woman lives all by herself. A little company is the least she could ask for."
Quistis released a defeated groan. "You're right. But I'd hardly call us little."
She looked directly at Irvine.
He beamed a flashy smile.
It seems that Irvine posed to be a difficult chore to get rid of. He didn't look like he plans on going anywhere and appeared to be very amused.
"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Quistis asked pointedly.
Irvine shrugged, "Not really. I live here, you know."
"Didn't," she asked through clenched teeth, "you just tell me you promised to buy Selphie flowers?"
"God, no. You must've misheard."
"Perhaps she's looking for you, then. In fact, I could hear her calling your name."
Irvine grinned at her discomfort. "You're not supposed to be so obvious," he said in a stage whisper, purposely loud enough for Seifer to hear. "He'll figure out that you like him."
Seifer's body jerked with hardly contained laughter.
"It's not his company I'm trying to keep," Quistis said acidly. "It's yours I'm trying to avoid."
Irvine clapped a hand over his heart. "That hurt, Quisty." He turned to Seifer, "She really hurt me."
"You missed your mission, Kinneas," Seifer said genially. "You should have been an actor."
"An interesting thought," Irvine replied. "But Selphie would just think I'd make her stage plays a living disaster." His eyes lit up. "Now that's an idea. Just when I thought this town is getting boring."
"Oh please," Quistis moaned.
"Well then, I'll be off. And Seifer, curfew's at nine," he said jokingly.
"Sure, whatever."
"See? He's in agreement. And you say he's very hard to live with," Irvine said as he made his way towards the door. "I'm going now," he announced. "And try to make use of the sofa-bed while you two are alone, eh?" He executed a smart bow and walked off.
Quistis and Seifer remained silent as they watched Irvine disappear behind the door and waited for his footsteps to fade. "The next shriek you'll hear," Quistis said blandly, "will be Selphie's."
"And the thud would be her, hitting the pavement," Seifer added.
Quistis nodded, a reluctant smile playing across her face.
"I could have sworn you just couldn't wait to get me alone," he teased.
"Oh, please."
"Keep saying that and you just might get what you're begging for."
Her face burned. "You don't know what I've been begging for, and I'm not going to talk about that."
Seifer braced his legs apart and folded his arms across. He seemed to be very interested on what she was going to say next.
Then he grinned.
"Whatever your deluded mind is thinking, it isn't 'that'," she said, straightening her shoulders. "I wanted to talk to you about something."
He looked disappointed. "Don't we always talk about something?"
"If you just stop interrupting me, you'll find out that this 'something' is far more important than anything," she cleared.
He stared at her. And appeared ready to listen.
Quistis cleared her throat. "Last night, at Mrs. Dincht's house, Laguna announced that he will be retiring."
Seifer blanched.
"I don't know when, but he meant soon."
He didn't utter a word. He just stood there, motionless and unreadable.
"Seifer?"
"What the hell's that got to do with me?" he asked, his tone containing a considerable amount of annoyance.
"Everything!" she snapped. "And you know it."
He had no ready comment, so he just snorted and glared at her.
"For God's sakes, Seifer, you can be king if you wanted to. And I know you want to, but you just think you can't."
"I haven't any idea what you're talking about."
Once again, she has to give him credit for another evasive maneuver, but this time, it wasn't as good as the last.
"Seifer," she said, placing both hands on his shoulder, as if she could level her height with his. "I found his note in my garbage bin last night. I know what Laguna wants from you." She searched his eyes for a part of his soul that was willing to listen. "Don't you see? He's given you a chance to prove the world wrong and make everything right again."
His face maintained that same stoic expression. "I don't want it," he hissed. "The old geezard could hang for all I care."
She dropped her hands to her sides. There are times when Quistis just wants to smack him across the face. And this is one of those times. "Don't even try to make this about what he wants. We're talking about you."
"We?" he echoed acerbically. "Since I got here, I find out that I was being watched for over five years and then my future is practically planned out for me. Nobody did anything but talk about me now that everyone knows I'm here." He threw up his arms. "And what do I care, it's only my life."
She couldn't believe that he had the effrontery to talk about life altering decisions with her, but he did. And she had a ready reply. "Welcome to my world, Seifer."
He stood aghast. A man could only get stuck with an intelligent woman for so long until he could feel a leash tugging at his collar. Seifer could kick himself. Did he just describe her life condition? By God, he just couldn't watch his words anymore ever since...well, ever since he arrived back in Balamb.
Heck, he'll just keep his mouth shut. He'd let her do the talking. It's not as if he'd let her convince him anyway.
"Seifer, sit down," she said calmly.
He looked at the bed. Not a good place to sit, he thought. So he strode towards the divan and sat there instead.
She sat across him, close enough that he could smell her. "Where's Fujin and Raijin?" she asked.
He didn't expect her to switch the topic so soon. And very off topic it was. It was hard to examine how her mind works, but he'd probably go crazy just thinking about it. "I don't know. The last time we saw each other was here, in Balamb."
She sat back. "I thought so. Do you know what they do?"
He shrugged. But God, did he really want to know.
"Fujin manages the auto-shop here. She's very good with cars. And Raijin, well, he's one of the best fishermen that Balamb has."
He thanked her silently. He didn't realize until then, that he was holding his breath, dreading some sort of bad report about his 'posse', but when it was otherwise, he wanted to smile. A huge, toothsome smile from ear to ear. It felt good to know that his friends were doing far better than he was.
"They're very happy," she continued. "Do you know why?"
He just slouched in his chair.
"Because they chose to be. They picked up something and made their life better," she said, her eyes holding more sincerity. "And I don't know anyone more capable of doing that than you."
Seifer rolled his eyes. "I knew at some point that you'd refer back to me."
"Don't you understand? Fujin and Raijin had to start from scratch, but you," she motioned a hand towards him. "You're given a far better opportunity than they have. You should consider yourself lucky that Laguna's even thought of you as a candidate."
"A mystery I still can't explain," he said dismissively.
Quistis fought the urge to shake and shake and shake him until he finally realizes that it isn't a mystery at all. "Seifer, sometimes, I think you're no more than three years old."
"If you put it that way, then I really don't think I can rule a country," he replied.
Quistis took on a faraway look and grew pensive suddenly. This was his cue to escape, but damn his curiosity, he wanted to know what she was going to say next.
"You're scared," she whispered mindlessly. She hadn't meant for him to hear it.
He choked on air. "Excuse me?"
Of course, he was scared. Quistis thought. The only leadership experience he'd had was based on his failures as a leader. Sweet Hyne! He's more scared now than ever to make another disappointment. Not to mention that he'll be leading a whole nation, and what does his résumé contain? A fallen Squad leader who botched a SeeD exam, and a tyrannical general who led the Galbadian army to disgrace. If anything, she shouldn't be talking to him about leadership. She shouldn't have been talking to him about his life.
Because if it wasn't for her 'mediocrity' and lack of leadership skills herself, Seifer wouldn't have to be scared about anything.
The realization couldn't have come to her sooner. She wanted to bury herself in deep hole.
"What did you say?" he demanded irritably.
"I'm sorry," she blurted. "Oh, Seifer, I'm so sorry."
He stared at her for the longest of seconds. Something tells him that she was apologizing for something else entirely. "I think apologies usually come with explanations."
"I shouldn't be speaking to you about your life decisions. I realize now that it wasn't my place," she said quietly. "But that doesn't mean my views on this changed. Although I still think - " she stopped short.
He looked as if he was soaking up her speech like a sponge.
Quistis stood and moved herself several feet away from him. She didn't face him. And for the first time, words escaped her. "I-I failed you. It was my job to make sure you pass, I was to lead my students to make the right decisions," she admitted, but this time small speckle of tears pooled at the corners of her eyes. "But I failed. If only I did my job right, you'd be a high ranking SeeD by now, do you know that?" And you wouldn't have fallen with the wrong side, she said mentally. And he wouldn't have doubts about his capabilities.
She whirled around and saw that his face was drawn and tight and his eyes were focused on her mouth. He didn't say anything. A ripple of panic washed over her and she began to talk faster. "If there's anyone to blame, it's me. I know, I was a lousy instructor, I think I still am, but - "
He remained quiet, sitting there and looking at her in a very odd way.
"Seifer," she called out. "Please say something."
He shifted in his seat and finally, just when the earth would drop out of its orbit, he spoke. "So if I accept Laguna's offer, it would make your guilt go away." he sneered.
Her mouth gaped open. Good Lord, how does this man think?
"I can't believe you just said that," she blurted. "Now you're just being ugly."
"I can be a million other things, but president is not one of them," he said, crossing his arms.
She swiped at her eyes and sniffed. It was almost too hard not to break down and cry, when she had already given him a glimpse of her tears. But she was now shaking with rage. How could he think that she was forcing him into doing something to feed her guilt? She didn't even realize that she should have something to feel guilty about until then. And it sure wasn't her fault that he misinterpreted her words.
But then Quistis felt her temper flaring. She couldn't accept that he thinks he was her failure. If anything, they failed each other. But Seifer, for all his self-pity, could only believe the worst about himself, and the worst of what people think about him.
"Are you even listening to me?" she asked, losing control of her volume that was rising. "Just when I thought you are the intelligent, sensible and sometimes, I hated to think, even kind, man I believe you to be, you try and make yourself ugly." She flung a hand in the air and continued with as much venom as she could put in, "But who am I to blame you? You only think about the worst opinion that I could have, anyway. It didn't even occur to you that I actually believed in you, and that somehow I have faith in you, failed to cross your mind."
He froze.
Quistis wanted to clamp her mouth shut, but what was said had already been said. There was no taking it back. She was so angry with him, she forgot to mind her words. How close was she to baring her soul? If this keeps up, getting angry and mindless words running forth, she'll find herself at loose ends in no time.
She wanted to run. She wanted to pull a sack over her head and not look at him forever.
So she turned around and looked at the door instead. It never looked so good before. A great speech is usually more dramatic if followed by a splendid exit. What a way to leave him thinking on her last words.
"Don't even think about it," he warned.
He must have known she was staring at the door, she thought grimly. "I was thinking about it," she muttered, her tone coated with annoyance.
"I heard what you said."
She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "You had to be deaf not to hear everything I've said."
Quistis didn't see him rise from his seat, but before she knew it, he was standing right behind her.
"Turn around," he ordered.
Quistis knew she'd make the biggest mistake if she did. But her body betrayed her. Her feet moved listlessly under her as the rest of her followed suit.
Then, she was face to face with the Golden-haired frustration. Only this time, the air suddenly grew hot, very hot, and Quistis had the bizarre sense that she no longer knew how to work her tongue, it's as if she needed to learn how to speak again. Her skin tingled, her heart raced, and the damned man was just staring at her, staring, staring, and staring, not moving a muscle, not moving his mouth, not even blinking.
Just staring at her.
"Seifer?" she whispered.
He smiled. It was a small meaningful smile, one that sent chills right down her spine to another area altogether. "I like it when you say my name," he said.
A soft rush of air escaped Quistis' lips as she gasped. He was going to kiss her.
He was going to kiss her. It was the most wonderful and awful thing that could ever happen.
But she wanted it. She never dreamed she'd ever want to be kissed by Seifer Almasy. But she truly did.
She knew she was going to regret this tomorrow. She laughed inwardly. Who was she kidding? She'd regret it in ten minutes. But she had spent the last two nights remembering what it felt like to be really kissed by him and she wasn't sure she can make it through the rest of her dreary days without at least one last more memory to keep her going.
In the end, he was going to leave. He always leaves. But this time, he'll have a bigger responsibility with no room for someone like her. And who was she anyway?
He lifted a finger and floated it across her cheek to her temple, then from there, traced her eyebrow as it moved to the bridge of her nose. "So pretty," he said softly, "like a fairy tale princess come to life."
Her only reply was a short intake of breath.
"I think I have to kiss you now," he whispered. "It's kind of like breathing, I don't have any choice in the matter."
Seifer's kiss was achingly sweet and tender. His lips brushed across hers in a feather-light caress, back and forth, with just the barest hint of friction. It was entirely breathtaking, but there was something more, something that made her dizzy and weak. And her feet felt as if they weren't touching the ground any longer, but her stomach seems to have dropped. Quistis clutched at his shoulders, wondering why she felt so off-balance and strange. And then it suddenly came to her -
This won't likely happen again.
All the sweetness in the world was all wrapped up in this one kiss. The way his lips brushed hers, so soft and tender, the way he began with gentle titillation rather than forced entry - it was exactly the kind of kiss one would give as the last.
"You're crying," Seifer said, touching her cheek.
Quistis blinked, then wiped the tears she hadn't even realized were falling.
"Did you mean it? Do you really believe in me?" he asked, searching for reassurance.
She nodded, but didn't dare to meet his eyes.
"Look at me, Quistis."
When she did, his eyes were more intense. It was darker, but the color was more vivid.
"Tell me again."
She opened her mouth, it was hard to get a sound out, but when it came, she said, "I believe in you, Seifer."
He drew her the final last inches against him. His hands, so large and strong covered almost half her back, held her to him with the strength that left her breathless. And his body - sweet Hyne, it ought to be illegal the way it was pressed against hers, the heat of him seeping through her clothing, searing her soul.
"You know, when you wished me luck, I really thought I needed it," he said against her hair.
Quistis stiffened. The tears were threatening to overflow again. "Oh, Seifer, I'm so sorry."
"Shhh..." he crooned. Hyne, did he feel sorry too. "You really think I'm smart and kind?"
He felt her nod slowly. He smiled. Maybe he is smart and kind after all.
As he held Quistis, in the middle of a lofty apartment, in the middle of the afternoon. That spark, that damnable spark that was always there between them, burned brighter than the day itself. It was almost blinding.
Strangely enough, it felt...nice.
And it had been a very, very long time since his life had felt that way.
A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry...I'm beginning to lose my concept on this story. Not only that, I've fractured my arm by stupidly falling from the top of the stairs (mind you that it was at my home, I would even understand it if the accident occurred on any other stairs, but at my own house? Just when I thought I knew how many flight of stairs I've got) and thus explains my overdue update. I couldn't type at all for the past couple of days. But I am on the mend. I hope this 'mushy' part of the story tugged at your heart. I really couldn't pull Seifer off as the emotional sort, heck it was a damn trial. But I hope you understood why he can be a potential candidate for the Esthar presidency.