As Severus and Hermione walked in they both saw a figure in the shadows by the window. Hermione stopped dead in her tracks, causing Snape to stop as well. Snape stood in front of Hermione and in a silky, dangerous voice he said, "Who are you? What business do you have here?" The figure stepped into the light and at that moment Snape felt an earth shattering fear ripping at his insides as he looked down at his mother.
Hermione turned her head to the right and was quite surprised by the mortified look in Severus's eyes. She wondered why he was so frightened at a mere woman, but when the woman spoke Hermione understood why.
"How dare you. HOW DARE YOU MARRY A GIRL AND NOT SAY A SINGLE WORD TO ME. I GUESS I'M NOT WORTHY. NO, I'M JUST YOUR MOTHER. SOMEONE WHO HAS GAVE BRITH TO YOU. SOMEONE WHO TOOK CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE ILL, SOMEONE WHO HELD YOU WHEN YOU WERE FRIGHTENED. I'M JUST A NOBODY!"
At that moment the woman started to cry. Severus, feeling terrible, ran to his mother and said in calm, soothing voice, "Mother, please. I'm sorry, but..." Before he could finish explaining, his mother reared up and started hitting him with her wicker purse and said between each hit, "DON'T GIVE ME THAT "I'M SORRY" BULLCRAP!" Snape's mother said before she hit him. "YOU NEVER EVEN WRITE ME"; She hit him again and said, "YOU DON'T EVEN CARE. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN MOTHER!" Severus said in a pleading voice," Mother, please, calm down." That just made her more hysterical. "Calm down? CALM DOWN! YOU GET MARRIED WITH OUT TELLING ME AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS CALM DOWN!?" She started to hit him again with her purse and Hermione thought she knew how to get Snape's mother's good grace.
Hermione walked over to Severus and asked in a clam voice, "Is this true dear?" Snape's mother stopped her assault, as she just realized Hermione was in the room. Snape, clearly surprised by her question, just stared and nodded helplessly. Hermione then turned toward his mother, and said, "Can I borrow that?" She nodded toward the purse. Snape's mom nodded, handing it to her. Hermione accepted the purse and said, "HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL YOUR MOTHER! ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME? IS THAT IT?" Hermione started to beat Severus upside the head with the purse, while yelling, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! AFTER EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE FOR YOU, YOU TURN AROUND AND PULL THIS STUNT." Hermione said all while hitting him. Snape grabbed the purse and yanked it out of her hands. He turned to his mother and said in a calm voice, "Mother, Hermione and I just got married just now, about one hour ago. We were both married against our will. If I did marry her willingly I would have told you as soon as I met her. I'm hurt you'd think other wise." Hermione raised an eye brow and asked, "How did you know that your darling little boy and I got married, Mother?" She asked with a smile. Severus's mother looked at her with affection and answered, "The whole wizarding world knows. It's in all the news papers, Witch weekly, the Daily Prophet, and a few others." A smile playing upon her lips. "Have you had dinner?" Hermione asked. "No, I have not." Hermione smiled, "Then you must have dinner with us." She turned to Snape and said, "Honey, you best get started." At that she grabbed a hold of Snape's mother's hand and walked her over to the couch and said, "Do you have any funny stories about Severus as a baby?" Snape's mother's eyes sparkled and she said " Why, yes. There was this one time when he was eight, he had the cutest crush on his baby sitter Stephanie. That's all he would talk about, Stephanie this and Stephanie that, when one day we had to go out, and Stephanie had to baby-sit. Well, at that time, Severus would have accidents in his bed now and then. I didn't know Stephanie was behind me when I was telling my husband if he could brew Severus a potion to stop him from wetting the bed. Severus's face got so red; it was a very amusing sight. I always felt bad after that." Hermione couldn't help it. She burst out laughing on the spot. She liked the woman already.
Snape wanted the woman to leave already. Severus wondered if he could slip something in his mother's or Hermione's food. I wouldn't go unnoticed though, he thought bitterly. Severus's eye twitched has he heard another embarrassing story about him, oh how his wished he could obliveat Hermione right about now.
About an hour or so later, they all set down to dinner. Little was said throughout the meal. After dinner, they walked into the family room and had tea. Severus's mother sipped her tea and said, "I better go. This is your wedding night." Hermione blushed and kept quite, but Severus on the other hand had to make a stupid move. "Oh, that's ok mother, I'd rather not have lice." Severus said to his mother with a look of pure disgust. Hermione's anger could give Voldermort a run for his money. She turned towards Severus with the fires of hell behind her and said, "Oh really mister I-wash-my-hair-with-a-bottle-of-motor-oil. Since you feel that way why don't you take your 'I don't want lice' ass over to the couch and get comfortable because you're going to be sleeping there for a few good cold nights." With that she took Mrs. Snape's arm and saw her out.
Severus just stood there stunned. He had no clue what just happened but he did know that little Mrs. Snape was going to have detention tomorrow. With those calming thoughts he went to the library.
After seeing Mrs.Snape out, Hermione walked to her bedroom and started looking through her nightgowns that have already been packed away. She came across a black silk one that came to her ankles. With the nightgown in hand, Hermione walked to the bathroom to have a nice relaxing shower.
Severus was on the second chapter of his new book when he heard the water running. Sleeping on the couch indeed, he thought as he turned the page. He had never slept on a couch and he wasn't going to start now weather she liked it or not.
Hermione turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. To the right she spotted a white fluffy towel. She quickly grabbed it and started to dry off. She then slipped on her nightgown, with a brush in hand. Hermione hummed as she brushed her hair, but the humming stopped when Severus walked into the room.
"What do you want?" Hermione said with a distasteful look on her face. Severus merely raised an eyebrow and said, "I'm going to take a shower, not that it's any of your business." With that he grabbed a shirt and a pair of boxers and walked in.
After Hermione was done brushing her hair, she walked over to her bed and laid down on the right side and started to read by candlelight.
It was sometime later when Severus walked out and when he did, he knew there was a problem. Hermione was sleeping on the right side. Severus walked over to the right side and looked down at Hermione trying to unnerve her. Sadly for him, she ignored him until he cleared his throat.
"Hem, hem". Hermione didn't even look up, but she said, "What do you want Professor Umbridge?" Severus was slightly annoyed but he got the message and said," Excuse me Hermione?" Hermione looked up with a smile on her face, and said," Yes, how may I help you?" in a mocking voice. Severus ignored her and said, "Well you can start by moving over." Hermione was starting to get annoyed by then, but she kept her cool and said," I know you're not as bright as you were because the potion fumes are starting to take there toll on the so called brain of yours. But you're sleeping on the couch tonight, or are you suffering from old age as well?" Severus, at this point, had had enough. He raised his eyebrow and said, "Fine, have it your way." At this, he picks her up and said, "If you won't move, I'll move you myself." Hermione, to say the least, was slightly pissed. "SEVERUS SALISAR SNAPE, PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" She said. Severus just laughed and said, "As you wish 'My dear'." and tossed her to the other side and slipped into bed.
On the other side of the bed, Hermione was furious. How dare he, she thought. Oh, he will pay in the morning.
Severus on the other hand was in a good mood. He had no idea it would be so fun to piss her off. He turned to his side and went to sleep.
During the night they ended up in each others arms as husband and wife, though in the morning Severus woke up to Hermione screaming.