Father?

By Keo Siph

All Naruto characters © Masahi Kishimoto, Shounen Jump

            Anko's head shot up from licking Naruto's cheek as Kiba leaned over to Sakura and Shino, who were standing in front of him.

                "She acts like Naruto with Sasuke's creepiness."

                Everyone paused for a moment to ponder this. Shino tilted his head to one side, although whether it was to acknowledge the comment or to give Kiba a foreboding look, one couldn't tell. Sakura paused to consider, before dashing to Sasuke's defense with words of disgrace towards Kiba. Sasuke stood stock-still, in some form of shock, his eyes hidden in shadow. Naruto stared in the main loudmouth's direction, not budging. Anko shifted feet.

                "You can't tell me it's not true!"

                "Sasuke-kun's not creepy, you dog-obsessor!"

                "I'm not sure that's of importance…" Hinata said softly. Sakura turned to her immediately.

                "What's not?"

                "Kiba's affinity with dogs or Sasuke being creepy. Either way, Anko acts like a mix of Naruto and Sasuke." This sent another pause through the small crowd. Sakura went pale then shook her head vigorously. Anko shifted feet again, shaking from withheld laughter. Sasuke didn't move or respond, and Naruto gave them a look like he was traumatized for life. For a moment, anyways.

                "How would you know what a mix of that freak and myself would be, anyways?" Sakura immediately opened her mouth to rebuke him for his reference to Sasuke, but stopped half-way.

                "Yeah, smarty. How?" Kiba asked from behind again. Sakura stood without motion for time, then began banging her head against the fence.

                "Will. Not. Think. About. That. Will. Not. Think. Will. Not. -" Everyone stared for a moment, uncomprehending, before Anko's smile broke and she turned away to hide it.

                "Such sweet thoughts, eh?" The taller Jounin asked. Naruto just stared and Sasuke continued his act of "Life. As a Statue". Shino looked on curiously and Hinata blushed heavily. Kiba stared in Naruto-style before coming to a conclusion. He was instantly at Sakura's side, banging his head into the fence.

                "StupidstupidstupidSTUPIDstupidstupidstupid…" Sakura pulled back to watch Kiba begin his attack on the bystanding object.

                "Kiba?"

                "Stu-! What?!?"

                "… Is there a reason that a mix of Naruto and Sasuke-kun's worst qualities would bother you?"

                "Worst qualities! I was imagining a kid!"

                "Now, wait a second! There was no need to go that far!" Sakura screeched as Ino's brain finally clicked up to speed. She began to pantomime Sasuke, with stuttering words of denial.

                "Listen! Get your head out of the gutter, dog-boy!"

                "Look who's talkin'!"

                "I was imagining the trouble a splice of  those two would cause, not… THAT! That's just disturbing!"

                "It's not it hasn't happened before. Every now and then you'll get a dog who refuses to-"

                "No! STOP! I don't want to hear it!"

                "You're the one who started this! Sayin' Anko was Naruto-ish!"

                "Naruto-ish! Not NarutoSasuke-kun-ish!"

                "Naruto doesn't lick blood though!"

                "Are you saying Sasuke-kun does?!?"

                "He could be a vampire for all we know!" There was a long silence before anyone responded.

                "Idiot Kiba. There are a million reasons Sasuke couldn't be a vampire. It's completely beyond even the possibility." Neji noted from behind the comatose Uchiha. Lee began nodding vigorous agreement, and Tenten shook her head at all of them.        

                "Well-! I don't see any other explanation for him being a weirdo! Look! He's not even defending himself!" Everyone else finally took note of Sasuke's semi-plight. Ino, who was closest, waved a hand in front of his face while Kiba turned back to Sakura suddenly.

                "So Anko's like Naruto and Sasuke… so who's the father?" Kiba was hit with rocks from five different directions before he could get a smirk out. Shino watched his companion fall into the grass, Akamaru barking up a storm. Everyone's attention turned back to Sasuke as Ino and Sakura alternated tugging his hair, ears, and cheeks in attempts to wake him up. Anko made her way to him and waved a hand in front of his face before taking his pulse along his neck.

                "Well, it seems my /father/ has fainted on his feet." Anko note in a somewhat amused tone as she backed up, allowing Naruto to get a good look at his comrade. Not that he saw anything to that extent anyways, due to his closed eyes in wake of his loud laughter. He was the next one to fall from Sakura's and Ino's stones.