Uh, been awhile…  *sweatdrops*  Sorry…  The chapter's kinda short too… 

And looking back, I realize just how OOC all the characters are. o_0  Oh well, this is supposed to be stupid and funny, so it's alright, huh?

Thanks, everyone who reviewed! ^^

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Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss.

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There are very few things in this world that I believe in.  Soccer, my bugnuks, and the fact that Aya will kick my ass if I screw up.

Of course, believing in something doesn't exactly mean it's something I'm always conscious of – which points as to why I time and time again mess up and naturally get my ass kicked once again.

Like now.

"What were you thinking?" Aya asks flatly.

I laugh nervously, while mentally planning fascinating new ways to kill someone – preferably two blond florists/assassins.

You know, I can just imagine you sitting there thinking 'Oh, poor wittle KenKen… Omi and Youji are so mean to the poor guy' and I could just kiss you for it.

*snerk*  Maybe that would make Aya jealous.

I repeat, I am not obsessed.

Aya's eyebrow twitches.  I can practically imagine it now…  He'll whip out his katana, yell shi-ne, and then chop me into tiny little bits…

And they say being killed by the one you love is a beautiful thing. 

I being a non-romantic just say it'll just hurt like hell.

So, yeah, here I am staring down my death with iron will and an unceasingly brave heart.  As I lift my eyes up, resolve shining brightly…

Who am I kidding?  I run like hell.

"Shi-ne!"

Guns, bombs, grenades, and insane psychics I can deal with.  Those I have absolutely no problem with facing down to the death.

A crazed red-head with a sword is a whole different story.

You see, Aya has a sense of scariness that most evil maniacs strive to achieve.  I mean, I don't think he'll seriously kill me, but well, if you see the expression on his face, you would think you were headed to a fate worse than death.

As I am now.

A catcall reaches my ears, the perpetrator being one of said members worthy of my wrath.  A replying 'shhhhhhh' is evidence of his compatriot.

"Go, KenKen!" a raucous voice calls from somewhere upstairs, "Better keep running or else he'll be all over you!"  A pause.  "Wait, stop running!"

I squeak and somehow trip on air, falling down rather ungracefully in a twitching heap.  Somehow I think that was intentional.

"Ne, Youji-kun, I think Ken-kun fell."

"No, you think."

"Should we go help him?  What if he broke his leg or something?"

"Nah, KenKen falls a lot, so he knows how to do it without seriously harming himself.  Besides, Aya can help him, and I'm sure that's what little KenKen would prefer more."

"Oh.  What if Aya kills him?"

"He won't."

A lengthy pause.

"Or at least I don't think so."

"Youji-kun!"

"He can't kill him.  It would just screw everything up."

"Huh?"

"I mean, it would just ruin their chances at a suitable relationship.  After all, it's impossible to have a relationship if one of the members is dead."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

You know, it's really very touching they're so concerned for my welfare.  Nice friends, huh?

Nervously, I lift my head, a sheepish smile on my lips.  "Uh, nice day isn't it, Aya?"

Aya doesn't look amused.  He leans forward slightly, violet eyes narrowing.  "Again, what were you doing?"

Well, at least Omi and Youji were right about one thing.  Doing something stupid and getting in trouble is the best way to get Aya's attention.

Of course, per usual, they leave out the fact that it will only bring negative attention.  And sure, Aya will notice me, but he'll notice me as a bumbling idiot.

Humans are such intelligent beings.

"Um," I stammer, "Trying to bake a cake?"

Omi and Youji had told me that the best way to a man's heart was through his stomach (ah, the cliché sayings…).  So there I was attempting to bake a cake, with my admittedly dismal skills. 

But unbeknownst to naïve little KenKen, two certain idiots had sent me with a recipe that would purposefully explode in the oven.  That, and somehow wire the oven so it'll explode when I set it to a certain temperature.

If I remember correctly, their plan was either to (a) hope the explosion will neither kill nor mortally wound me, and instead shall beat me up enough that it'll scare Aya to death and he'll declare his undying love for me or (b) the explosion would miss me, Aya would get pissed off, I'll make puppy dog eyes, and Aya will go squealie at the uber-kawaiiness of KenKen and then declare his undying love.

…I repeat, any plan made by human intelligence is headed for disaster and ultimately just a load of shit.

Undying love my ass.   

"Hidaka," Aya says flatly, "You can't cook."

I blink, feeling as if I've entered the twilight zone.  Okay, how many of you guys thought Aya was going to say that?  Aya as in super serious focused Aya who doesn't give a shit other than anger=katana=kill.

"I know that," I answer weakly, "But…  Uh, I was… uh… making it for you."

…Did I just say that out loud?

Fuck.

Aya lifts an eyebrow at that. 

"Um, I mean, " I say hastily, scrambling into a sitting position, "Omi and Youji told me that… you were, uh, kind of grouchy, so… it might help you feel better?"

Aya is still looking at me with a perfectly emotionless face.

I'm wishing for a space station to conveniently crash, preferably on top of the Koneko.

"I'm not grouchy," Aya finally says stiffly after a lengthy pause. 

I blink at the definitely un-Aya-like expression on his face.

And promptly punch myself in the face.

Ouchie.

Aya's looking down at me with a 'what the hell?' glare.

"Uh, this is a dream, right?" I say weakly, rubbing at the bruise beginning to form on my cheek.

Aya's beginning to twitch.  And promptly turns on his heel and leaves, tossing his katana with a crash into the wall.  Eh, am I the only one who thinks he's irritated with me again?

But looking on the bright side, I have proven that stupidity is the best way to avoid death.  You see, people take pity on stupid people and think that leaving them in their haze of stupidity is far crueler than ending their pathetic existence.

…Yup, that's me, logical to a fault.

"Hidaka."

I squeak, my head snapping up. 

Aya glares.

…Oh, I think he's come back to finish the job.  Ack, why couldn't he have just killed me with the sword?  I mean, disembodiment would have killed me instantly and for the most part painlessly. 

Do you think getting shot it the head and having my brains blown out would kill me before any serious pain?

Wait.

I blink. 

How does Aya expect to kill me with… an icepack…?

Interesting, maybe he'll smash it on my head so hard that it'll crack my head open.  How pathetic – my death shall be by icepack.

Aya kneels in front of me.

"Don't kill me," I blurt out.

Again, the 'what the hell?' glare.

You know, by now I should've learned to keep my mouth shut.

Aya lifts the icepack.

I flinch backwards… until I feel a cold pressure against my cheek.

Aya… Aya isn't…

Okay, this has to be a dream.  Aya can't be a kind caring individual.  It's just… not Aya.  Gah, what the fuck did this imposter do with Aya?!  I want my Aya back!

"I scare you," Aya stated softly.

…Yup, a dream.  Aya is not supposed to talk like this…  It's just not right.

And yes, he does scare me.  But that's only when he has his katana and the impulse to kill me.  Otherwise, god Aya, how dense can you be?!

"Uh, sometimes," I finally say uncertainly.

"Aa."

"So… kiss it and make it better?" I say hopefully.  Hey, if this is a dream, I'll milk it for all its worth.  But then again, dream Aya can't be that out of character, right?

My eyes widen as I feel a light touch on one cheek as Aya leans over and presses the lightest of kisses on my bruise.

Yes, a dream.  A very nice dream.

Everything looks all floaty…

Wordlessly, Aya shoves the icepack into my hand, stands, and walks away.

I think I'll just sit here for awhile.

"KenKen…" Youji's voice is full of pity as he walks over with Omi in tow.  "How do you expect to have a relationship when you get all embarrassed at something as small as that.  Oh, at this rate, you'll never be any good in bed."

Omi squeaks at that.

"Hi, are you here to mess up my dream life too?" I ask vaguely. 

Silence.

"Ken-kun… This isn't a dream," Omi finally says warily.

Oh.

How quaint.

What the fuck?!

"What do you mean this isn't a dream?!" I screech, jumping to my feet.  "No, no, this is just my imagination trying to trick me into thinking this is reality!"

"Oh, KenKen…" Youji pats me sympathetically on the head.  "What a simple-minded little boy you are…"

This must be dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream…

Oh shit, it isn't a dream.

"I… said… that…" I finally say shakingly.  "…And Aya really did that…"

"See!" Omi pats me cheerfully in the shoulder.  "This proves Aya likes you too!"

"…Fuck," I continue on obliviously, "I said that.  I actually said that.  And I punched myself in the face.  Like an idiot.  The idiot I am.  Aya thinks I'm an idiot too, doesn't he?  But that's the truth, isn't it?  Right?  Shit, I'm confused now."

"Ken-kun's not acting very sane."

Omi, when am I ever sane?

"Yeah, I think Aya shocked him for a loop this time."

"I can't believe Aya-kun actually did that.  Really, I thought it would take much more to get him to do something."

"Yeah, the guy surprises me all the time."

"But it was sweet, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Ken-kun's eyes are going blank."

"Oh.  Is that a bad thing?"

"I think so."

OWIE!

"What the hell did you do that for?!" I yelp, rubbing my poor abused head.

"Chibi here thought you were going to faint."

I scowl.  "I don't faint.  That's a girlie thing."

"Then what about that time with the fish?"

"Youji, that was from suffocation."

Just don't ask.

"So you must be happy, huh?" Youji grins.  "The first step to a bright new relationship has been taken!"

Happy?  If anything, I'm absolutely mortified.

"Yes, it is great, isn't it?" Omi says dreamily.  "Soon they'll be cuddling on the couch, holding hands during missions…"

What the hell?

"Suspicious noises coming from upstairs…" Youji added, a lecherous expression on his face.

"YOUJI[-kun]!" Omi and I yell, whapping him simultaneously on the head.

~*~

Heehee…  Something's finally growing between Aya and Ken…  Next chapter's going to focus a bit on Youji/Omi though (c'mon, you can't expect innocent little Omi to let the kiss from last chapter go just like that, right?).