Draco sat groggily, his fingertips lightly tapping against his oak desk frame. The rhythm was slightly soothing, almost exasperating, as he listened in and contemplated. His room was dark and cold, so cold he could feel each individual hair standing up on his legs and his toes shivering against the wooden floor. Angrily he slammed his hand against the desk and allowed himself to fall against it in a low whimper.
Directly across from him, sleeping soundly in an array of forest green bedclothes was Ginny Weasley. Her red hair could barely be seen as she was so deeply entangled within the blankets but her short breaths every few seconds made his mind constantly draw back to her figure. He couldn't stop thinking about her, the way she had moaned his name from underneath him only mere hours ago, how vibrant of a person she was. The sheer thought of her made his entire body shiver in delight. He knew what he wanted…he knew how he wanted to hold her and love her and kiss her for the rest of his life. He knew he had never felt like this before, he knew a Malfoy was not supposed to have friends, let alone love anyone. And maybe that, at four o'clock in the morning, was what was bothering him.
He could never exactly pinpoint when he had fallen for her. When his mother had announced her arrival he had only been disgusted. Back then, she was a Weasley, a meager girl Weasley at that matter. Back then they were all the same, lousy poor people that shouldn't hold the name of wizard. But then again, that was where his roots had set him, deep in this moral conflict of right and wrong. He knew why he had always despised the Weasley's, not only for their lack of money and lack of proper judgment, but also from their association with Potter. He grimaced thinking of the boy.
Draco had always been held back by destiny. His father, supposedly a noble man during his time, was the henchman for the wickedest man to walk the face of the earth, if such a creature could even be considered a "man" by any sorts. A true Slytherin, his father had despised muggle born children and all those who associated with them. More over, his father hated The-Boy-Who-Lived because he meant change in years. Draco of course, was born into the hatred. His whole life had been spent despising his father but even more so, despising Harry Potter.
Ginny would never know why Draco hated Harry. He didn't even think it could be called hate, maybe more along the line of jealousy, for Draco had always wanted more than the life he had been given by his father. He wanted to be noble and great, a hero to the wizarding world, a boy that could escape the cage of the Dark Lord. But no, that would never happen.
Or so Draco had always imagined. He remembered clearly the first day that Ginny had waltzed into the dining hall when she was hired, sauntering in and curtseying without even recognizing his presence. He could remember the first time they truly argued and he noticed her temper and spunk, her ability to have a perfect retort for everything he threw at her. She had been the first person to truly turn him down, to treat him wrongly, and to make him realize his life really wasn't everything he wanted it to be. Was that why he loved her? Was it because she made him notice who he was?
He refused to believe that. He wanted to believe that he only loved her because she was a challenge, because she wasn't one of the tarts that would eagerly throw themselves at his feet. He wanted to believe moreover that he felt nothing for her, for a Weasley, for a person at all. He knew it wasn't true though, as his eyes lingered on her body lying naked in his bed, for he was in love with her and he couldn't do anything about it. Or…
"Draco?" Ginny breathed airily from her space in his bed. She was staring at his back, where his bare muscles were rippling in the pale fading moonlight. He looked more godly than usual, just sitting there with his hands on the desk, staring back at her. She had dropped the blanket when she had sat up and she knew he was getting more of a show than he had probably reckoned when she had awoken, but it didn't matter. He had seen most of her right? He continued to stare at her, his lips tightly pursed, and she echoed again, "Draco?"
"Yes?" He answered, his voice hitched just slightly.
"Are you coming back to bed?" She asked, raising her eyebrow. Her body was still glowing from the earlier moments of the night and she felt herself craving and wanting more of his caresses and touches. A frown escaped her as he shook his head and moved towards her, cupping her chin in his fingers.
"Right now, I just need to think Gin. You understand that?"
"Why do you need to think?"
"Because I don't understand…this…I mean…us…well…I don't know."
"Is there an us Draco?" She asked perceptibly.
"I…I don't know."
"Do you want there to be?" He frowned and looked at her, the pad of his thumb drawing small circles across her cheeks.
"We don't always get what we want Ginny." He whispered. She could see the tears stringing against the back of his eyes and he must have noticed for he pulled away, running a hand across his eyes and muttering something that sounded an awful lot like damn.
"Draco?"
"Why the hell did you come here Ginny?" He exploded; turning around with an emotion in his eyes she hadn't seen in such a long time; anger, "Everything was fine you know: I didn't really need a teacher. Flitwick probably would have passed me anyway; Father's name still has some sort of meaning in this world. I was FINE."
"I know Draco but…"
"But what? Why didn't you leave?" He gasped, falling onto the bed next to her.
"I don't give up on things."
"You should have given up on me."
"Draco don't say that."
"Why not? I'm not Harry." He breathed, looking at her intently, "I can't give you anything Ginny. My family would never accept you and I know your family would probably break me to pieces before allowing me to be with you. I'm not a hero, not even bloody close…"
"Draco stop, you know I don't think that of you. They can adjust."
"No they won't adjust and you know it. We are all wrong Ginny."
"But so were Romeo and Juliet!"
"Romey and who?"
"Muggle literature."
"SEE GIN! We can't even agree on something that simple. We are horrible for each other."
She pursed her lips, staring at him. She had fallen in love with him over the weeks they had been together. His personality, his looks, his beliefs, everything about him stuck out to her. She had learned the truth about what he wanted and what type of boy he was. And now here he was, the first boy she had ever kissed and the first boy she had ever made love too, and he was pushing her away. Grabbing his hand she looked him in the eye, "Draco, we can make this work. I…I know we can. As long as we both want too."
"I don't know Gin."
"Do you want too?"
"Hell Ginny I…" He stared at her, at how much emotion her eyes were showing and his insides flipped upside down. No matter what it meant, he couldn't let her get hurt. He couldn't hurt his own heart. The best way was to push her away and to keep her far away, "Ginny I can't do this."
"Do you care about me at all?"
"If I said yes would you leave?" He asked.
"No."
"Then no, I don't care about you."
"But Draco…"
"I DON'T CARE GINNY! I want you to just…I don't know disappear? Alright, you found a hole in Draco Malfoy, you did, but now that hole is gone. You were a good lay, a damn good lay but that's it! Now leave." He screamed, pushing her away from him. She toppled out of his bed and looked up at him with a fire in her face that he had never seen before and yet at the same time, the most sullen look he had ever seen in her coffee eyes. Grabbing her things, she wrapped a piece of linen around her body before moving towards the door.
"I thought you had almost proven me wrong Draco…I really had." She yelled before slamming the door behind her in a wave of absolute fury.
~
Draco walked down the corridor to the dining hall at a snail's pace with his head hung fretfully low. He hadn't seen Ginny since the morning when she had stormed away in a fireball of red and freckles. It wasn't as if he really wanted to see her in the first place, it was hard enough to stand their looking at her pearly naked flesh and be able to push her away. He trudged into the dining hall where his mother was sitting chatting with a rather dumpy woman he recognized instantly as Ginny's mother Molly Weasley. She had the same red hair as Ginny except it was cut rather short. Her eyes, unlike Ginny's, were a piercing ice blue. Draco's heart melted as he thought about his fiery redhead, who he hadn't even realized he had begun to call his own.
"Mr. Malfoy." Molly Weasley spoke warily.
"You can call me Draco." He spoke roughly and extended his hand for a shake. She seemed to stare at it for a few seconds before grabbing him in a large hug.
"Draco dear, Molly has come here for a special request..."
"What is it?"
"Well Mr. Malf…I mean Draco…you see, July 31st is Harry's birthday and he is coming to the Burrow. We planned a party for him you see, and we would love it if Ginny could have maybe the next few days off right before hand. If it doesn't…"
"It's fine." He blurted, happy to have the girl leaving the house. He smiled as best he could and turned to leave, unnoticing of the beauty that was standing behind him.
"Ready to get rid of me so soon Draco?" She purred an annoyance still present in her voice. She crossed to her mother and enveloped her in a hug before standing beside her, the original composition paper suitcase in hand.
"Are you going far Weasley?" He muttered.
"Actually Draco…Mistress Malfoy…I think I have done all I can for Draco. He has mastered his charms skills profusely and I don't really think my presence here is necessary anymore."
"But my dear…" Narcissa Malfoy attempted to interrupt.
"No Mistress. If you won't let me go on my own I'll quit or force you into firing me, whichever you choose. I am no longer needed her, I was only temporary anyway." She stared into Draco's eyes as she spoke the last five words, cutting his heart into pieces. Turning away he could feel tears edging to burst from his eyes. Why was this happening? More than the fact that the only person he had ever loved was LEAVING him, why was he letting it have an effect on him? Why? He could hear his mother negotiating with Ginny and Molly Weasley's frequent interruptions but he refused to reply. Ginny's eyes, those huge coffee whirlpools were etched into his mind. She was really leaving him and going back to Potter and the Golden Trio.
"Goodbye Draco." He heard her mutter from behind him. He refused to turn back to face her, even just one last time, and he instead scoffed at her comment. He could hear her mumble something incoherently and move out of the room, followed by her muggle-loving mother, but he paid no attention. His wrists were wet from tears and his head was pounding from anger.
"I'm going to my quarters." He bellowed, turning on his heel.
"Draco…"
"What the hell do you want?" He turned, staring at his mother with blinking eyes.
"Come sit down, let's talk."
"We never bloody talk…why start now?"
"I think it's about time we had a very important conversation. On second thought…go get Maryanne, have her draw up a pitcher of tea. This could take awhile."
~
Draco sipped his tea warily, staring at his mother. Her lips were tightly pursed and her blonde white hair was pulled back fashionably away from her face. He had never paid much attention to his mother; after all it wasn't until the year before that she was even allowed to speak in the Malfoy household. She usually followed Lucius Malfoy to a T and that wasn't Draco's way of living. None-the-less he still cared for her, she was his mother and the only person who had kept him from getting the Dark Mark earlier than 17.
"Draco, I know about you and the Weasley girl."
"Know what?" He asked.
"That you two are in love…the cameras in your quarters do show a lot." She mumbled.
"What cameras?" He bellowed loudly, slamming his fist on the table.
"The cameras that have been in your room since you were seven. How else do you think your father always insured that you were never around when…well…he…visited?" Draco bit his tongue for he had never thought about it. Cameras would not be the most unusual thing in the Malfoy Manor and something he probably never would have thought to check for. But cameras…that meant his mother had seen him doing some very unorthodox things with Ginny Weasley just the night before.
"Mother I should explain…"
"No explanations needed. I have been watching the two of you a lot more. You are taken with her I presume?"
"I was."
"What happened my dear?"
"Nothing happened Mother, she was a good lay."
"Now Draco, I on any normal occasion would believe that. Had I never met your father I would probably believe that in a heartbeat. But I know you, you are your father's boy whether you want to believe it or not and I know the look in your eyes when you watched her just an hour ago. You love her."
"No I don't, Malfoy's don't love." He sneered.
"Draco my dear son, I know you are in love with her. The question is…was she or is she still in love with you?"
"No." He stated frankly, unaware that he had just admitted his feelings, "She would have said something. She wouldn't have let me push her away."
"Did she let you?"
"Well…not that frankly…no…but she still left."
"Did you really want her to leave Draco?" She questioned again, bringing her teacup to her lips in the biggest smirk he had ever seen.
"Does it matter what I want Mum? Has it ever mattered? No one would ever accept her in this family, no one in hers would accept me, why bother trying?"
"Sometimes we do things regardless of the odds that aren't in our favor." She spoke breathily, "Draco, have I ever told you of a man by the name of Julius Monterer?"
"No."
"He was my first love."
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"You see Draco; he was what people would call different. He was still a wizard, don't mistake me, but he was muggle born. An intelligent man, reminds me much of that Mrs. Granger from your school. I fell in love with him after a period of time and he was my first everything. But you see, we didn't fit together, him being muggle born and all that."
"I'm not in love with Granger Mum."
"I didn't suggest you were. My story goes on to tell you that my parents decided to have me wed to your father and I did so, no matter how much I didn't love him. I do now, it evolved…but I constantly ask myself what could have been. Do you want that Draco?"
"If it will keep Ginny safe." Draco answered truthfully.
"Go after her Draco." Narcissa spoke quickly, "Don't let yourself become trapped in a world you don't want. I love you dear, you will always be my son…but being this? Being a Dark Wizards wife with no word of mind and no life…this is never what I wanted. I have seen it in Ms. Weasley's eyes, she cares for you equally if not more than you care for her. Letting her go will only put restraints over your relationship…just go after her. Don't let the only person to ever break through that tough shell of yours get away." She spoke softly before standing, licking her lips, and moving into the kitchen. Draco slammed his head on the table, reeling in the pain.
His mother was right and he knew it. He needed Ginny, damn he loved her and he wasn't afraid of anyone's wrath; he would be with her. He pulled his wand out of his robes and conjured a quick note to his mother before moving in a rush to the door, grabbing a cloak along the way.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: In my mind, there is only going to be 1 chapter left. I promise that.
I also apologize for my lack of concentration and lack of writing updates. Now that this story is almost complete I will definitely go back and do my other.
Thanks…Read and Review!
(If anyone knows a killer love song, could you leave it for me in the review? Props will be given)