Samantha Spade POV:
Holiday Inn
March 7, 2004
10:28 a.m.
Jack helps me into bed, and I slip beneath the covers before shutting my eyes.
I hear his footsteps and let out a soft breath. "You can go home," I tell him. He stops moving and I can imagine him staring at me with utter discontent.
I open my eyes to see him gaze at me. "Home," he repeats with a soft breath. "Samantha, wherever you are is home."
"Jack, don't," I tell him before closing my eyes.
I feel the bed shift and his body slides in beside mine. "Is the baby okay?" he whispers and I nod with a yawn, opening my eyes to see his face inches from mine.
"They gave me some vitamins to make sure, but everything seemed fine."
"I hope you're not lying to me."
"I'm not," I yawn, rolling onto my side to face him. "I'm sorry about running. I freaked out when I thought I was pregnant."
His hand moves into my hair, softly brushing it from my face. "I know," he nods. "When you're feeling better, will you come home with me?"
"No," I whisper. "I'm sorry, Jack, but I can't."
He looks as though I've shot him with my gun. His face is pale, his eyes filled with sadness and his heart is broken.
"Samantha," his voice pleads with me, "don't do this."
"I have to," I answer, closing my eyes so I don't feel guilty or upset.
"Why?"
"It's what's best for our son."
"We're having a boy?" I can hear the smile on his lips, and I open my eyes to see his eyes filled with hope.
"Yes," I nod.
"And you're going to deprive me of seeing my only son?"
"Jack, I'm doing this for your girls," I remind him. "They don't want to be a part of my life and I can't blame them."
"They're children." He blows out an annoyed breath, the warm air whisking past my neck.
"They're your children," I remind him.
"Sam," he draws his hand along my cheek, and I close my eyes, allowing myself to relax. "You would leave me?" His voice is soft and he's trying not to sound hurt.
"Only if it was for the best. It wouldn't be forever, unless that's what you wanted."
"Then why move? Why not continue with what we've been doing?"
"It's not working," I breathe, feeling his hands moving down my back to hold me close. "It isn't like you'd never see me again. I'm sure we'd work cases together."
"Transfer within our division."
"Jack," I shake my head no, feeling his fingers slipping beneath my shirt, as his hand slowly teases my warm flesh. I know what he's trying to do. He wants me to give in to him. He knows I can't resist when he kisses me all over, when his hands travel paths along my burning skin.
I feel his lips moving down to my neck, slowly sucking the skin as his hand dances down my back and over my stomach. He can barely feel the bulge since I've been sick and I'm surprised neither of us noticed it before.
"Samantha," he whispers into my ear, his fingers sliding lower and into the waistband of my pants, as he showers my mouth with kisses.
"You're not worried about getting sick?" I eye him before letting out a soft puff of air as he kisses me again.
"That's the least of my worries," he answers, drawing his mouth over mine as his fingers continue to tease me.
"Jack," I feel my cheeks growing flushed and my skin burning. His mouth delivers soft kisses along my jaw line, and I grow restless beneath his touch.
My eyes shut as I slip onto my back, feeling my body arch as he drags his fingers to tease me. My pulse races as my breathing thickens. "Please." I chew on my bottom lip, feeling his mouth capture mine.
"Come home," he whispers into my ear as I feel my heart rate slowly coming down and I try to catch my breath.
**********
Jack Malone POV:
Holiday Inn
March 7, 2004
11:25 a.m.
I watch as she falls into a light sleep. I lean down, pressing one final kiss to her cheek before slipping out of bed.
I grab my cell phone and slip out into the hallway where I dial Monica Reyes, as promised.
"Reyes," she answers.
"It's Jack Malone."
"Hey, did you find her?" Her voice holds concern and I let out a soft thankful breath.
"Yes," I nod. "I appreciate all the help you've been. She told me she was pregnant. I'm assuming that's the big secret you've kept from me?"
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner," she lets out a soft breath. "Congratulations are in order, though."
"Not exactly," I say as I let out a deep breath.
"I know it's none of my business, but is everything all right?"
"It will be," I answer. "I just wanted to call and thank you for letting me know."
"Glad I could help. I'm sort of in the middle of something--" her voice trails off.
"I'll let you go." I hang up the phone and head towards Danny's room.
I knock twice, waiting for him to open the door and let me inside.
"You look like hell."
"Thanks," I quip, taking a seat on the sofa.
"You sleep at all last night?"
"Yeah, not great though."
"You want to crash here?"
"Thanks, but I'm still keeping an eye on Sam." Danny nods in understanding. "When did she tell you she thought she was pregnant?"
"She called me when we were still in D.C."
"You knew all along and didn't tell me?"
"She told you!" he reminds me. "She thought she had morning sickness."
"Yeah, but I thought--" I pause. "Never mind," I shake my head dismissively.
"Is she coming home with us?" Danny eyes me.
"I'm working on it. She wants to transfer here."
"You want me to talk to her?" he eyes me. "I might be able to knock some sense into her."
I let out a soft breath. "I'm about out of ideas. I've considered denying her the transfer but that'll only complicate things."
"Have you considered moving here?" Danny's eyes lock with mine.
I nod my head with a sigh. "I get the impression she'd leave and go somewhere else. I'm just worried we might not find her the next time."
Danny nods his head, thinking things over. "I was going to order lunch. You want something?"
"What'd you have in mind?" I question. He grabs the take-out menu that was on the counter and hands it to me.
We order lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon relaxing before Danny heads back to the city.
"I'll be back as soon as Samantha's all right to be left alone," I remind him.
"You'll never leave her alone," Danny points out as he grabs his bag. He insisted on being at work tomorrow morning, so I take him to the bus station.
***************
Samantha Spade POV:
Holiday Inn
March 7, 2004
4:25 p.m.
I roll around, shifting beneath the sheets. My eyes slowly open, glancing around the empty room. Did Jack actually take my advice and go home? As much as I want us to be a family, I know he loves his daughters and they want nothing to do with me. What other choice do I have? Besides, he's still legally married to Maria—as far as I know.
I hear the door and see Jack making his way inside.
"How long have you been up?"
"Not long," I answer. "I thought you left."
Jack shakes his head no. "The doctor said you needed to take it easy. I already called Van Doren and told her we wouldn't be in."
"Did you tell her I'll be transferring?"
"Not yet," he answers with a sigh. "Are you sure I can't change your mind?"
"It's not my mind you have to change," I answer.
"Sam," he moves towards the bed, his voice pleading with me. "Please come home; they're just children."
"It's not just about them," I answer.
"Then what is this about?"
"Jack," I let out a soft breath, "when I have this baby," my hand falls down to my stomach, "I don't want to be working with his father and the child not knowing him."
"That would never happen." He moves towards me and rests a hand on my shoulder.
"Do you think our jobs will still be there then?"
"Sam," he shakes his head, "let things come one at a time. Don't try running away to prevent all that."
"You don't get it," I sigh. "It doesn't matter." My head hangs low in defeat.
"It matters—you matter," he tells me, drawing his finger under my chin. He leans my head up to meet his eyes. "Don't ever believe otherwise."
"I know," I answer, "I just--", I pause, trying to think and even understand what I want to say. "I want this baby. I don't think I can have you and the baby—not with your children being involved. They hate me, Jack. I can't raise a son and take the chance they'll hate him too."
"What if they don't? You'll give up on us?"
"Never," I whisper. "I love you," my eyes meet his. "I just can't take all this pressure," I laugh softly. "It's more than just that, though—your family doesn't accept me and I won't force them to."
"So you're going to move down here, when I accept you?"
"Jack," I laugh softly in a painful tone, "don't." I shake my head.
"I want us to get married one day."
"You're still married to Maria!"
"We're working on the divorce papers," he reminds me, "and the girls will come around. It just might not be tomorrow."
"I know," I answer.
"So is that a 'yes'?"
"I don't see a ring," I glance down at my empty hand with a smile.
"Sam," he leans down, pressing a kiss to my lips. "Come home with me," he whispers.
I stare into his eyes. "Your home or mine?"
"Whatever you want," he answers. He leans down, his forehead against mine. "I'd like you to come home to our place but if you want to stay in your apartment, I can accept that—for a little while," he whispers before kissing me again.
He lies down beside me, and I reach for the remote and flip on the television.
I feel his gaze on me.
"What?" I glance over towards him.
"You look like you're feeling better."
"Yeah," I nod.
"So, no morning sickness then?"
"Not yet," I laugh softly. "Guess I've been lucky."
Jack draws his hand to my stomach, his eyes staring at my belly, which hardly looks any different than two months ago. "We're having ourselves a boy?" his eyes meet mine.
"Yeah, there's an ultrasound picture in my jacket."
"Can I take a look?"
I nod my head and he grabs my coat, digging through the folded paper at the black and white picture. He stares at it, and I'm not sure what's running through his mind.
He brings it to the bed, showing it to me. "Did you see this?"
"Yeah," I smile.
"I wish I had been in there when they did the ultrasound."
"You can be there the next time," I offer as I glance back at the television with a yawn.
"Are you hungry at all?"
"Not really, although I should probably eat something light."
"That's what I was thinking. You want soup?" he suggests.
"That sounds good," I nod, and he calls down to room service and orders us both something to eat.
*************
Samantha Spade POV:
Jack & Samantha Residence
March 8, 2004
2:25 p.m.
Jack helps me up the stairs and into our apartment. He's careful to make sure I don't slip on the icy stairwell outside, as he keeps his arm around my waist.
He unlocks the door and helps me to lie down on the sofa, making sure I don't have much to do. He's been incredibly over-protective of the baby since the doctor's orders for me to rest. I can't blame him, though, as it's his child he's concerned for.
He hands me the remote. "I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to bring your suitcase in."
"Thanks," I answer, watching as he heads out into the snow. Thankfully, the snow just started and the roads were clear.
He plops my bag by the door.
"You going to pick up the girls this afternoon?" I eye him reluctantly.
"If you promise not to run," he answers. "You need to be resting," he reminds me.
"I know," I nod with a sigh. "I'll stay here."
"I'll probably be a few hours. I'm going to stop by Maria's office and find out about the divorce papers. Then I'll take Hannah to therapy."
"Fun," I muse.
"Yeah," he answers, "it beats the alternative."
"Which is--?"
"Putting her on medication. You'd be surprised the different diagnoses the doctors had for her. It was ridiculous."
"I'm sorry," I answer, not sure what else to say.
"It's not your fault," he answers, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "I'm going to head out. I'll leave the phone beside you, in case anyone calls."
"Okay," I nod with a yawn.
"You're still tired?" he smiles as he heads towards the door. "I love you," he whispers and shuts the door. I feel tears in my eyes.
"I love you too," I answer into the air for no one to hear. I close my eyes, letting my body relax as I take another nap.
Holiday Inn
March 7, 2004
10:28 a.m.
Jack helps me into bed, and I slip beneath the covers before shutting my eyes.
I hear his footsteps and let out a soft breath. "You can go home," I tell him. He stops moving and I can imagine him staring at me with utter discontent.
I open my eyes to see him gaze at me. "Home," he repeats with a soft breath. "Samantha, wherever you are is home."
"Jack, don't," I tell him before closing my eyes.
I feel the bed shift and his body slides in beside mine. "Is the baby okay?" he whispers and I nod with a yawn, opening my eyes to see his face inches from mine.
"They gave me some vitamins to make sure, but everything seemed fine."
"I hope you're not lying to me."
"I'm not," I yawn, rolling onto my side to face him. "I'm sorry about running. I freaked out when I thought I was pregnant."
His hand moves into my hair, softly brushing it from my face. "I know," he nods. "When you're feeling better, will you come home with me?"
"No," I whisper. "I'm sorry, Jack, but I can't."
He looks as though I've shot him with my gun. His face is pale, his eyes filled with sadness and his heart is broken.
"Samantha," his voice pleads with me, "don't do this."
"I have to," I answer, closing my eyes so I don't feel guilty or upset.
"Why?"
"It's what's best for our son."
"We're having a boy?" I can hear the smile on his lips, and I open my eyes to see his eyes filled with hope.
"Yes," I nod.
"And you're going to deprive me of seeing my only son?"
"Jack, I'm doing this for your girls," I remind him. "They don't want to be a part of my life and I can't blame them."
"They're children." He blows out an annoyed breath, the warm air whisking past my neck.
"They're your children," I remind him.
"Sam," he draws his hand along my cheek, and I close my eyes, allowing myself to relax. "You would leave me?" His voice is soft and he's trying not to sound hurt.
"Only if it was for the best. It wouldn't be forever, unless that's what you wanted."
"Then why move? Why not continue with what we've been doing?"
"It's not working," I breathe, feeling his hands moving down my back to hold me close. "It isn't like you'd never see me again. I'm sure we'd work cases together."
"Transfer within our division."
"Jack," I shake my head no, feeling his fingers slipping beneath my shirt, as his hand slowly teases my warm flesh. I know what he's trying to do. He wants me to give in to him. He knows I can't resist when he kisses me all over, when his hands travel paths along my burning skin.
I feel his lips moving down to my neck, slowly sucking the skin as his hand dances down my back and over my stomach. He can barely feel the bulge since I've been sick and I'm surprised neither of us noticed it before.
"Samantha," he whispers into my ear, his fingers sliding lower and into the waistband of my pants, as he showers my mouth with kisses.
"You're not worried about getting sick?" I eye him before letting out a soft puff of air as he kisses me again.
"That's the least of my worries," he answers, drawing his mouth over mine as his fingers continue to tease me.
"Jack," I feel my cheeks growing flushed and my skin burning. His mouth delivers soft kisses along my jaw line, and I grow restless beneath his touch.
My eyes shut as I slip onto my back, feeling my body arch as he drags his fingers to tease me. My pulse races as my breathing thickens. "Please." I chew on my bottom lip, feeling his mouth capture mine.
"Come home," he whispers into my ear as I feel my heart rate slowly coming down and I try to catch my breath.
**********
Jack Malone POV:
Holiday Inn
March 7, 2004
11:25 a.m.
I watch as she falls into a light sleep. I lean down, pressing one final kiss to her cheek before slipping out of bed.
I grab my cell phone and slip out into the hallway where I dial Monica Reyes, as promised.
"Reyes," she answers.
"It's Jack Malone."
"Hey, did you find her?" Her voice holds concern and I let out a soft thankful breath.
"Yes," I nod. "I appreciate all the help you've been. She told me she was pregnant. I'm assuming that's the big secret you've kept from me?"
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner," she lets out a soft breath. "Congratulations are in order, though."
"Not exactly," I say as I let out a deep breath.
"I know it's none of my business, but is everything all right?"
"It will be," I answer. "I just wanted to call and thank you for letting me know."
"Glad I could help. I'm sort of in the middle of something--" her voice trails off.
"I'll let you go." I hang up the phone and head towards Danny's room.
I knock twice, waiting for him to open the door and let me inside.
"You look like hell."
"Thanks," I quip, taking a seat on the sofa.
"You sleep at all last night?"
"Yeah, not great though."
"You want to crash here?"
"Thanks, but I'm still keeping an eye on Sam." Danny nods in understanding. "When did she tell you she thought she was pregnant?"
"She called me when we were still in D.C."
"You knew all along and didn't tell me?"
"She told you!" he reminds me. "She thought she had morning sickness."
"Yeah, but I thought--" I pause. "Never mind," I shake my head dismissively.
"Is she coming home with us?" Danny eyes me.
"I'm working on it. She wants to transfer here."
"You want me to talk to her?" he eyes me. "I might be able to knock some sense into her."
I let out a soft breath. "I'm about out of ideas. I've considered denying her the transfer but that'll only complicate things."
"Have you considered moving here?" Danny's eyes lock with mine.
I nod my head with a sigh. "I get the impression she'd leave and go somewhere else. I'm just worried we might not find her the next time."
Danny nods his head, thinking things over. "I was going to order lunch. You want something?"
"What'd you have in mind?" I question. He grabs the take-out menu that was on the counter and hands it to me.
We order lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon relaxing before Danny heads back to the city.
"I'll be back as soon as Samantha's all right to be left alone," I remind him.
"You'll never leave her alone," Danny points out as he grabs his bag. He insisted on being at work tomorrow morning, so I take him to the bus station.
***************
Samantha Spade POV:
Holiday Inn
March 7, 2004
4:25 p.m.
I roll around, shifting beneath the sheets. My eyes slowly open, glancing around the empty room. Did Jack actually take my advice and go home? As much as I want us to be a family, I know he loves his daughters and they want nothing to do with me. What other choice do I have? Besides, he's still legally married to Maria—as far as I know.
I hear the door and see Jack making his way inside.
"How long have you been up?"
"Not long," I answer. "I thought you left."
Jack shakes his head no. "The doctor said you needed to take it easy. I already called Van Doren and told her we wouldn't be in."
"Did you tell her I'll be transferring?"
"Not yet," he answers with a sigh. "Are you sure I can't change your mind?"
"It's not my mind you have to change," I answer.
"Sam," he moves towards the bed, his voice pleading with me. "Please come home; they're just children."
"It's not just about them," I answer.
"Then what is this about?"
"Jack," I let out a soft breath, "when I have this baby," my hand falls down to my stomach, "I don't want to be working with his father and the child not knowing him."
"That would never happen." He moves towards me and rests a hand on my shoulder.
"Do you think our jobs will still be there then?"
"Sam," he shakes his head, "let things come one at a time. Don't try running away to prevent all that."
"You don't get it," I sigh. "It doesn't matter." My head hangs low in defeat.
"It matters—you matter," he tells me, drawing his finger under my chin. He leans my head up to meet his eyes. "Don't ever believe otherwise."
"I know," I answer, "I just--", I pause, trying to think and even understand what I want to say. "I want this baby. I don't think I can have you and the baby—not with your children being involved. They hate me, Jack. I can't raise a son and take the chance they'll hate him too."
"What if they don't? You'll give up on us?"
"Never," I whisper. "I love you," my eyes meet his. "I just can't take all this pressure," I laugh softly. "It's more than just that, though—your family doesn't accept me and I won't force them to."
"So you're going to move down here, when I accept you?"
"Jack," I laugh softly in a painful tone, "don't." I shake my head.
"I want us to get married one day."
"You're still married to Maria!"
"We're working on the divorce papers," he reminds me, "and the girls will come around. It just might not be tomorrow."
"I know," I answer.
"So is that a 'yes'?"
"I don't see a ring," I glance down at my empty hand with a smile.
"Sam," he leans down, pressing a kiss to my lips. "Come home with me," he whispers.
I stare into his eyes. "Your home or mine?"
"Whatever you want," he answers. He leans down, his forehead against mine. "I'd like you to come home to our place but if you want to stay in your apartment, I can accept that—for a little while," he whispers before kissing me again.
He lies down beside me, and I reach for the remote and flip on the television.
I feel his gaze on me.
"What?" I glance over towards him.
"You look like you're feeling better."
"Yeah," I nod.
"So, no morning sickness then?"
"Not yet," I laugh softly. "Guess I've been lucky."
Jack draws his hand to my stomach, his eyes staring at my belly, which hardly looks any different than two months ago. "We're having ourselves a boy?" his eyes meet mine.
"Yeah, there's an ultrasound picture in my jacket."
"Can I take a look?"
I nod my head and he grabs my coat, digging through the folded paper at the black and white picture. He stares at it, and I'm not sure what's running through his mind.
He brings it to the bed, showing it to me. "Did you see this?"
"Yeah," I smile.
"I wish I had been in there when they did the ultrasound."
"You can be there the next time," I offer as I glance back at the television with a yawn.
"Are you hungry at all?"
"Not really, although I should probably eat something light."
"That's what I was thinking. You want soup?" he suggests.
"That sounds good," I nod, and he calls down to room service and orders us both something to eat.
*************
Samantha Spade POV:
Jack & Samantha Residence
March 8, 2004
2:25 p.m.
Jack helps me up the stairs and into our apartment. He's careful to make sure I don't slip on the icy stairwell outside, as he keeps his arm around my waist.
He unlocks the door and helps me to lie down on the sofa, making sure I don't have much to do. He's been incredibly over-protective of the baby since the doctor's orders for me to rest. I can't blame him, though, as it's his child he's concerned for.
He hands me the remote. "I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to bring your suitcase in."
"Thanks," I answer, watching as he heads out into the snow. Thankfully, the snow just started and the roads were clear.
He plops my bag by the door.
"You going to pick up the girls this afternoon?" I eye him reluctantly.
"If you promise not to run," he answers. "You need to be resting," he reminds me.
"I know," I nod with a sigh. "I'll stay here."
"I'll probably be a few hours. I'm going to stop by Maria's office and find out about the divorce papers. Then I'll take Hannah to therapy."
"Fun," I muse.
"Yeah," he answers, "it beats the alternative."
"Which is--?"
"Putting her on medication. You'd be surprised the different diagnoses the doctors had for her. It was ridiculous."
"I'm sorry," I answer, not sure what else to say.
"It's not your fault," he answers, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "I'm going to head out. I'll leave the phone beside you, in case anyone calls."
"Okay," I nod with a yawn.
"You're still tired?" he smiles as he heads towards the door. "I love you," he whispers and shuts the door. I feel tears in my eyes.
"I love you too," I answer into the air for no one to hear. I close my eyes, letting my body relax as I take another nap.