I don't own arty fowl, okay, here it is, the one I've been promising, the big one. Again it was born of the seeds of procrastination.
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Holly landed at Tara with the sleeping mud-boy wrapped in camo-foil. As soon as she went passed the front desk she was surrounded by a small army of shuttleport-workers:
"You can't bring him down here!!"
"Think of the panic!!!"
"Think of the children, won't somebody please think of the children!?!?!?!?" (A.N. There's always one)
"Holly flashed her badge.
"I am bringing him through, I have clearance from commander Julius Root."
At this the fairies in the terminal fell in to such a deep silence it was like the opposite of an explosion.
One, stepped forward.
"Captain, haven't you heard?"
"She hasn't…"
Holly interrupted, she was getting impatient.
"Tell me this instance before I remove the lot of you from obstructing me in the course of my duty!!"
With these words she brought her neutrino out of her holster, spun it a couple of times, to look impressive, and stuck it to the head of the nearest fairy.
"Um, Commander Root, the council, and the centaur Foaly, and, well actually most of the LEP…"
"Spit it out!"
"They're dead Ma'm."
Holly's face dropped.
"Dead… they can't be dead…"
her pistol fell from her hand, her arm fell to her side.
"They can't…"
She couldn't believe this.
"Julius, Foaley, Trouble dead?"
"Well captain, we have no actual proof that they are dead."
Holly was lived; she grabbed the nervous sprite and aimed her hidden second Neutrino at the sprites wings.
"Then why did you tell me they are you d'arvitting daughter of Frond and Chix ***** Verbil?!?!?!"
"Well, um, miss, ma'm, the police Plaza, it was destroyed miss, um, cave trolls. The few on patrol are searching the wreckage now."
Holly put down the nervous sprite.
"What's a… cave troll?"
"They're massive, bigger like that myth, you know, the butler…"
Holly would have laughed had she not been so worried.
"And they're made completely out of stone, they just demolished it, two came out of the shadows, first they attacked the northern tower, then the southern one, and then they both collapsed. They're almost certainly dead. You're the highest ranking LEP officer around, Ma'm."
Holly thought for a second, the only way any sense could be made of this, was if someone started giving orders, she looked around for a minute or two, and then…
"Civilians, get a shuttle ready to go underground, when we're down, start bringing up your maintenance crews, get a message to whoever's commanding the search teams, tell them to lock off Haven. Then get your crews repairing the fairy forts around this countryside. While this is going on send your most gifted mesmeriseres to Fowl manor. There should be 2 mud-people, a big man, and a small female. DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT underestimate them, use the mesmer as soon as possible, I need them brought down."
"WHAT!?!"
"That's an order, I'm deputising the entire miserable lot of you."
The various fairies started to scatter, apart from one:
"Where's your author…?"
"I'll give you 3 seconds to find someone higher ranking than me. 1. 2. 3. No-one? Well then GET TO IT DEPUTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"You know, multiple exclamation marks is a sign of insanity."
Holly whirled around; Artemis had been watching the whole thing.
"I should really say congratulations on the promotion. But I guess it won't do much for you.
"What's that in your hands?"
"It's a book. I had just unwrapped it when you so rudely kidnapped me."
"Right, then lets get down to Haven then. MOVE IT MUD-BOY!!"
Her cheeks were starting to glow red. As they boarded the shuttle to leave the surface Artemis remarked:
"Looks like you've found your inner-Root then."
Holly said nothing.
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The shuttle touched down in the inner Haven landing bay, recently promoted lance-corporal Grub met them at the arrivals desk.
"Holly, we've found Foaly, he dived into the bomb proof ops centre just before they attacked, you know, you'd have thought they'd have recalled me after my defeat of Butler, but know."
"Shut it lance-corporal, just tell me the facts!"
"Uh, yes acting-commander, any way, from what Foaly's told us, Root was standing by the window when the trolls attacked, but didn't get into the booth in time. We haven't found him, or Trubsey, or any of the others, you'd have thought that we'd have found some bodies or something. No need to worry acting-commander, I reckon a warlock teleported them out in time, and just hasn't told us."
Neither Holly nor Artemis wanted to crush the younger Kelp's hopes of finding his brother, though Holly almost had to hold back a snort of laughter at the nickname. Almost, but not quite, she didn't quite feel the need to laugh anymore.
The three walked through the city, past the abandoned buildings, to the piles of rubble that had once been the twin towers of the LEP Central Police plaza, the circular ops booth raised out of the rubble in its purple, neon glory, now the entirety of the police headquarters.
"Without the LEP, daemons have been causing trouble around the city."
Grub then thought about what he'd just said, then collapsed in a puddle of tears.
"He's not coming back, is he Holly?"
The ex-captain looked into the tear-stained face of the lance corporal.
"He could have got to a titanium shell, the ops booth wasn't the only indestructible place in the building. We won't know for sure, until we complete the excavation. But it'll be best not to get your hopes up."
Artemis decided to interrupt this morbid conversation line.
"So what's a Daemon?
Grub looked around, he didn't dare question the new commanders decisions.
"Um, daemons are like goblins in that they can conjure fire, but the main differences are that they have fiery red skin, and can teleport. They are also more intelligent, but still remain only a nuisance. They teleport around the outskirts of the city asking to hear the 'best song in the world.' If no such song is produced they teleport the offender to the magma vents. Though they say they eat their soul. Though we've long since established their favourite song, and if they are provided with a headset, they'll no longer be a pest, and just sit listening to music all day."
"So what is the 'greatest song n the world'?"
"Well it's a bit embarrassing really, they didn't do this so often until around the 1960's and a couple visited the surface. They heard a song called Louie Louie by a band called the Kinks. It's become their holy song."
"Are these the creatures humans have mistaken for devils?"
"Got it in one."
"Ahem, Lance-corporal Kelp?"
"Yes Ma'm?"
"Have the rest of the day off, go to an open pub or something, if you go o the 'Blue Dolphin', tell Bob the barman that I said you could put a couple of drinks on my tab."
"Thanks Holly, um, commander, I mean acting. But um, I want to help look for my brother."
"Grub, that was an order, your emotionally fragile right now, if you see anything that could upset you such as dead bodies, any dead bodies, you might go into post traumatic stress. The rulebook calls for me to send you home with a sedative, but since your apartments were in the police plaza, I'm sending you to get pissed in my pub, and sleep in one of the rooms there, got it?"
"Yessir, I mean Ma'm, but surely…"
"The citizens of Haven are helping, corporal, I am giving you an order, now go!!"
Grub span on his heel, dismissing himself, then ran towards the city centre.
"Lets go find Foaley. I have a feeling I've heard of these trolls before."
"Are you sure Artemis?"
"Yeah, Root said you needed my help, so help I will, and when Domovi and Juliet have had their minds restored, bring them to the ops-booth."
"Er, Artemis."
"Yes holly?"
"I'm officially, um, deputising you, Butler and Juliet, the LEP needs as many hands as they can find, and since well…"
"Since Butler can probably shift most of this building by himself."
"Yeah, if anyone asks, you are an acting-lieutenant, answerable only to me. The same goes for Butler and Juliet, but they're only privates got it?"
"They answer to only me, actually."
"Yeah, but you answer to me, lieutenant Fowl, I don't have a badge for you right now, but I'm sure Foaley will give you his old one."
"His what?? I thought he was only a consultant? Is there something you aren't telling me Holly? Holly? Commander?"
The elf just smiled and strode towards the dome-like shape of the current police headquarters.