Chapter two - Gourry holds his own
Lina was running around the shops, selling her various spoils and dragging Gourry Gabriev with her. Zelgadis had apparently gone to the hall of records very early that morning, so nobody really expected to see him that day. Lina and Gourry had left Amelia lecturing a small dragon on her favourite subject, and neither knew nor cared whether she had stopped yet. They doubted it. At about two in the afternoon, Lina had made forty-seven dollars seventy-two cents, and the haggling was going to her stomach. They ate at a small café, spent twenty dollars, and left the café considerably smaller than it had been when they arrived. A youngish man with a moustache hailed Lina down a dirty-looking alleyway. He pulled out a small gun and aimed, and after a little more haggling Lina left thirty-two dollars five cents and a small gun richer. The man would have a headache for several days to come, and that was after he became conscious. She was heading back to the inn when there was a small pop, and a certain purple-haired Mazoku appeared in front of her. "Hello Lina chan!!!" "Don't you Lina-chan me, what do you want. Whatever it is, you won't get it." "I just wanted to say hi." "Are you sure?" "Of course! would I lie to you?" "Yes." "Weeelllll..." "What are you doing here anyway?" "Oh, just helping out. Summer job." "You don't have a summer job!" "I do! well, it's a job, and it's summertime, so..." "Oh, riiiight. So you're not vending ice cream or anything." "No." Lina, unable to think of anything else to say, put her hand on his face and pushed him into the opposite wall. "Come on Gourry." They were eating ice cream in their inn, when Gourry accidentally dropped his spoon in such a way as to make the ice cream hit Lina in the face. She licked it off, and turned on Gourry. "Agh! Can't you hold a spoon for more than fifteen seconds without dropping it, mulchhead!?" Gourry stood up suddenly. "It was an accident, ok! Can't I make one teeny mistake without having you bite my head off with that enormous gob of yours, Little Miss Temper! Well, I'm not gonna be yelled at any more! I'm going, 'cause you can obviously do much better without me!!!" He stomped off. Lina continued staring at the door. "What did I say? I yell at him all the time." She turned back to her ice cream, and then ate his as well.
***
Gourry, having been through two towns already, was walking through the fields between the previous town and the next, having failed to notice the road, and felt something hit his foot. He looked down. "ARGHHHHHHH!!! GRASS SNAKE!!!!!! LINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" He turned and ran, and then stopped. "Wait a minute, I still have pride!" He went back, and stomped on the grass snake. "Ha! take that, grass snake!" The snake sweatdropped, and slithered away. He heard a voice behind him. "You bloody idiot, grass snakes aren't dangerous." He turned around, and saw Death. "ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!! DEATH!!!!!" He ran away again. 'Death' sweatdropped, and rode after him. "He's an idiot anyway, it wouldn't matter... Hey! you! come back!!!" He stopped. "I'm not Death! My name is Poppy Vincent, and I'm lost! Do you know where we are?" Gourry turned around. The figure hailed him again. "I lost the road somewhere back there (it waved its' hand randomly behind it), and I came out in these fields. Do you know how far the next town is from here? Or where the road is?" "No... I was trying to get to the next town, too. I don't think I was ever on the road. I didn't think there was one." "You didn't think, period. How could there not be a road? These are towns, big on the village scale, small on the city scale. There would have to be some kind of road. Towns are major travelling stops. They're virtually built because of travelling! no-one likes cities, apart from city-dwellers, and villages are way too small - half the population are peering in at the windows when you try to shower, not to mention reading and writing... anyway... what was I saying? Oh yeah - so there would obviously be a road somewhere around here. Soooo... do you like pizza?" "Yeah! but right now, I'm trying to find my way back to the road. Can I come with you?" "Weeeellll.... all right. But wherever we go, I'm Koufun, ok?" "You just said your name was Poppy." Poppy tried to think of a way to make the name- changing thing slightly more digestible to the man's single, autistic brain cell. Her mind was used to lying, however, and she soon came up with "To you, I'm Poppy. But to everyone else, I'm Koufun. If you call me Poppy, they won't know what you're talking about. See?" "I get it! So I should only call you Poppy when there is absolutely no-one else listening." "Yes!!! that's right!!!... shall we go?" The man nodded, and Poppy held out her hand. "Get up on the horse. We cover more ground that way." He jumped on to her horse, and she pulled her hood up and took the reins. "Holding on tight?" He nodded. "Then let's go!" She spurred her horse to a canter straight away. The man yelled, almost fell off, and managed to grab her shoulders just in time. Or at least meant to grab her shoulders. He actually grabbed her head and covered her eyes. She screamed, nearly fell off herself, and got his hand off her face just in time to see the - "TREEE!!!" "Ahhhhhhhh!!!" She jerked on the reins, the horse reared up, and she reached out and fireballed it. Then they were back on course, galloping over hot tree ashes.
***
Zelgadis sat up suddenly with a yell. He took a moment to work out where he was, how old he was, and what percentage of him was human. After a while, he reckoned it like this: in a small dark room at about three in the morning on the second floor of an inn, nearly twenty-four, and one third. Hella, how he hated thirds. If he ever got round to finishing his maths GCSE, which he doubted, he'd skip thirds completely. He lay down again, the initial panic of the stupid, reoccurring dream having left him. After three quarters of an hour of trying different positions to see if they helped get him to sleep better, he realized he was craving something. Coffee was the last thing he wanted to crave, but he found himself getting out of bed to get his canteen. "Ach! You idiot, coffee's there to wake you up, and you're trying to go to sleep!" He sat down, then stood up again. "But if you go to sleep, then you'll almost certainly start dreaming again." Down. "Anything's better than no sleep at all." Up. "It comes to the same thing either way. You'll be tired in the morning." A step forward, two steps, three ste- oh oh oh, back to the bed again. "Just go to sleep, or are you crazier than I thought?!" He put his head in his hands. "Oh, great. I'm arguing with myself over a cup of coffee." He had a little more mental debate, and after a while stood up and walked over to his luggage for the coffee. He'd never get back to sleep now. Ever. So he grabbed a science fiction book on his way back to the bed. Nothing like a bit of gruesome sci- fi to put your mind at rest. He continued to read and re-read the book until dawnbreak. He met Lina downstairs, and got some toast and cup of black Lapsang. "Hi Zel!" The sorceress grinned at him from across the table. "Whoa, you look like you didn't sleep at all last night!" "Stupid dreams." He muttered thickly through a slightly too big mouthful of toast. "Oh." Lina turned to her cereal and started eating. (Authors note: imagine Lina Inverse playing the guy from the crunchy nut cornflakes advert where he takes the whole bowl of cereal from the hotel, only speeded up about seventeen times at least.) Amelia skipped happily down the stairs. "Hello Lina-san! Hello Zel-san!" Zel waved, with his nose buried in the depths of his teacup. Amelia got a cheese pickle roll from the counter, and sat down happily chatting to Lina. The sorceress, however, couldn't hear Amelia over the sound of her own chewing, be it for good or bad. After a while, Zel noticed that something was missing. "Where's Gourry?" Lina looked up, blushing. "I, well, he... he ran away. I don't know where he is." She ate the last piece of shredded wheat from her bowl, and stood up. "I have stuff I want to sell. See ya." She left the inn. Zel shrugged. "I don't open my mouth that much, why can't I say the right thing when I do?" He stood up. "I'm going to walk around, see you later." Amelia waved. "Byeeee! Now what am I going to do? I know! Mr. Baaaaaarman!!!! Can I have a chair? Thank you! Now to get to the square..."
***
Nightfall, and Poppy had still not found the road. Her horse was slowing and as there was virtually no chance of their stumbling across a town in the next five minutes, they would have to sleep outside. She dismounted, and gestured to Gourry to stay on. She led her horse by the bridle into the trees, and stopped by a big ash. "Get off." Gourry tried, and hit the ground on his face at Poppy's feet, with one foot still left in the stirrup. Poppy sighed. "I'm no expert, but I can tell you don't ride horses." The horse lay down, and Poppy pulled a dying branch off the tree above them. She sat down, and Gourry sat next to her. She set the wood ablaze with a little fire spell, and soon the wood was burning brightly. "So." She cast around for something to say. "What's your name?" "Gourry Gabriev. What's yours?" She sighed again. "Poppy Vincent. I already told you that. What nationality are you? Russian? Polish? Scandinavian?" "I don't really know. I'm tired. Mind if I sleep?" "Go right ahead." After a while, he was sleeping with his head on her lap. "Gabriev... Do I know that name? Whatever. I don't recognise the face. What an idiot. Dumb blond." She laughed a little. A rumble of thunder far off signalled the rain, which soon started. Poppy flinched and flicked her hand, and a shield grew around them. After a while, she too was asleep. The fire died, but the rain persisted and the pair slept through the entire night without waking.
Lina was running around the shops, selling her various spoils and dragging Gourry Gabriev with her. Zelgadis had apparently gone to the hall of records very early that morning, so nobody really expected to see him that day. Lina and Gourry had left Amelia lecturing a small dragon on her favourite subject, and neither knew nor cared whether she had stopped yet. They doubted it. At about two in the afternoon, Lina had made forty-seven dollars seventy-two cents, and the haggling was going to her stomach. They ate at a small café, spent twenty dollars, and left the café considerably smaller than it had been when they arrived. A youngish man with a moustache hailed Lina down a dirty-looking alleyway. He pulled out a small gun and aimed, and after a little more haggling Lina left thirty-two dollars five cents and a small gun richer. The man would have a headache for several days to come, and that was after he became conscious. She was heading back to the inn when there was a small pop, and a certain purple-haired Mazoku appeared in front of her. "Hello Lina chan!!!" "Don't you Lina-chan me, what do you want. Whatever it is, you won't get it." "I just wanted to say hi." "Are you sure?" "Of course! would I lie to you?" "Yes." "Weeelllll..." "What are you doing here anyway?" "Oh, just helping out. Summer job." "You don't have a summer job!" "I do! well, it's a job, and it's summertime, so..." "Oh, riiiight. So you're not vending ice cream or anything." "No." Lina, unable to think of anything else to say, put her hand on his face and pushed him into the opposite wall. "Come on Gourry." They were eating ice cream in their inn, when Gourry accidentally dropped his spoon in such a way as to make the ice cream hit Lina in the face. She licked it off, and turned on Gourry. "Agh! Can't you hold a spoon for more than fifteen seconds without dropping it, mulchhead!?" Gourry stood up suddenly. "It was an accident, ok! Can't I make one teeny mistake without having you bite my head off with that enormous gob of yours, Little Miss Temper! Well, I'm not gonna be yelled at any more! I'm going, 'cause you can obviously do much better without me!!!" He stomped off. Lina continued staring at the door. "What did I say? I yell at him all the time." She turned back to her ice cream, and then ate his as well.
***
Gourry, having been through two towns already, was walking through the fields between the previous town and the next, having failed to notice the road, and felt something hit his foot. He looked down. "ARGHHHHHHH!!! GRASS SNAKE!!!!!! LINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" He turned and ran, and then stopped. "Wait a minute, I still have pride!" He went back, and stomped on the grass snake. "Ha! take that, grass snake!" The snake sweatdropped, and slithered away. He heard a voice behind him. "You bloody idiot, grass snakes aren't dangerous." He turned around, and saw Death. "ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!! DEATH!!!!!" He ran away again. 'Death' sweatdropped, and rode after him. "He's an idiot anyway, it wouldn't matter... Hey! you! come back!!!" He stopped. "I'm not Death! My name is Poppy Vincent, and I'm lost! Do you know where we are?" Gourry turned around. The figure hailed him again. "I lost the road somewhere back there (it waved its' hand randomly behind it), and I came out in these fields. Do you know how far the next town is from here? Or where the road is?" "No... I was trying to get to the next town, too. I don't think I was ever on the road. I didn't think there was one." "You didn't think, period. How could there not be a road? These are towns, big on the village scale, small on the city scale. There would have to be some kind of road. Towns are major travelling stops. They're virtually built because of travelling! no-one likes cities, apart from city-dwellers, and villages are way too small - half the population are peering in at the windows when you try to shower, not to mention reading and writing... anyway... what was I saying? Oh yeah - so there would obviously be a road somewhere around here. Soooo... do you like pizza?" "Yeah! but right now, I'm trying to find my way back to the road. Can I come with you?" "Weeeellll.... all right. But wherever we go, I'm Koufun, ok?" "You just said your name was Poppy." Poppy tried to think of a way to make the name- changing thing slightly more digestible to the man's single, autistic brain cell. Her mind was used to lying, however, and she soon came up with "To you, I'm Poppy. But to everyone else, I'm Koufun. If you call me Poppy, they won't know what you're talking about. See?" "I get it! So I should only call you Poppy when there is absolutely no-one else listening." "Yes!!! that's right!!!... shall we go?" The man nodded, and Poppy held out her hand. "Get up on the horse. We cover more ground that way." He jumped on to her horse, and she pulled her hood up and took the reins. "Holding on tight?" He nodded. "Then let's go!" She spurred her horse to a canter straight away. The man yelled, almost fell off, and managed to grab her shoulders just in time. Or at least meant to grab her shoulders. He actually grabbed her head and covered her eyes. She screamed, nearly fell off herself, and got his hand off her face just in time to see the - "TREEE!!!" "Ahhhhhhhh!!!" She jerked on the reins, the horse reared up, and she reached out and fireballed it. Then they were back on course, galloping over hot tree ashes.
***
Zelgadis sat up suddenly with a yell. He took a moment to work out where he was, how old he was, and what percentage of him was human. After a while, he reckoned it like this: in a small dark room at about three in the morning on the second floor of an inn, nearly twenty-four, and one third. Hella, how he hated thirds. If he ever got round to finishing his maths GCSE, which he doubted, he'd skip thirds completely. He lay down again, the initial panic of the stupid, reoccurring dream having left him. After three quarters of an hour of trying different positions to see if they helped get him to sleep better, he realized he was craving something. Coffee was the last thing he wanted to crave, but he found himself getting out of bed to get his canteen. "Ach! You idiot, coffee's there to wake you up, and you're trying to go to sleep!" He sat down, then stood up again. "But if you go to sleep, then you'll almost certainly start dreaming again." Down. "Anything's better than no sleep at all." Up. "It comes to the same thing either way. You'll be tired in the morning." A step forward, two steps, three ste- oh oh oh, back to the bed again. "Just go to sleep, or are you crazier than I thought?!" He put his head in his hands. "Oh, great. I'm arguing with myself over a cup of coffee." He had a little more mental debate, and after a while stood up and walked over to his luggage for the coffee. He'd never get back to sleep now. Ever. So he grabbed a science fiction book on his way back to the bed. Nothing like a bit of gruesome sci- fi to put your mind at rest. He continued to read and re-read the book until dawnbreak. He met Lina downstairs, and got some toast and cup of black Lapsang. "Hi Zel!" The sorceress grinned at him from across the table. "Whoa, you look like you didn't sleep at all last night!" "Stupid dreams." He muttered thickly through a slightly too big mouthful of toast. "Oh." Lina turned to her cereal and started eating. (Authors note: imagine Lina Inverse playing the guy from the crunchy nut cornflakes advert where he takes the whole bowl of cereal from the hotel, only speeded up about seventeen times at least.) Amelia skipped happily down the stairs. "Hello Lina-san! Hello Zel-san!" Zel waved, with his nose buried in the depths of his teacup. Amelia got a cheese pickle roll from the counter, and sat down happily chatting to Lina. The sorceress, however, couldn't hear Amelia over the sound of her own chewing, be it for good or bad. After a while, Zel noticed that something was missing. "Where's Gourry?" Lina looked up, blushing. "I, well, he... he ran away. I don't know where he is." She ate the last piece of shredded wheat from her bowl, and stood up. "I have stuff I want to sell. See ya." She left the inn. Zel shrugged. "I don't open my mouth that much, why can't I say the right thing when I do?" He stood up. "I'm going to walk around, see you later." Amelia waved. "Byeeee! Now what am I going to do? I know! Mr. Baaaaaarman!!!! Can I have a chair? Thank you! Now to get to the square..."
***
Nightfall, and Poppy had still not found the road. Her horse was slowing and as there was virtually no chance of their stumbling across a town in the next five minutes, they would have to sleep outside. She dismounted, and gestured to Gourry to stay on. She led her horse by the bridle into the trees, and stopped by a big ash. "Get off." Gourry tried, and hit the ground on his face at Poppy's feet, with one foot still left in the stirrup. Poppy sighed. "I'm no expert, but I can tell you don't ride horses." The horse lay down, and Poppy pulled a dying branch off the tree above them. She sat down, and Gourry sat next to her. She set the wood ablaze with a little fire spell, and soon the wood was burning brightly. "So." She cast around for something to say. "What's your name?" "Gourry Gabriev. What's yours?" She sighed again. "Poppy Vincent. I already told you that. What nationality are you? Russian? Polish? Scandinavian?" "I don't really know. I'm tired. Mind if I sleep?" "Go right ahead." After a while, he was sleeping with his head on her lap. "Gabriev... Do I know that name? Whatever. I don't recognise the face. What an idiot. Dumb blond." She laughed a little. A rumble of thunder far off signalled the rain, which soon started. Poppy flinched and flicked her hand, and a shield grew around them. After a while, she too was asleep. The fire died, but the rain persisted and the pair slept through the entire night without waking.