THIS CAN'T BE!?
Capsule Corps.
A month has passed. The conference was way over and still that woman has not come back yet.
What the hell is she trying to prove? Doesn't she realize that I needed to sort out some things too? It isn't like she's my whole world and everything has to evolve around her? Foolish! Why did I even bother with something like her? Well, if that is the way you want things around here, fine with me then! At least, now I can have this whole house to myself and I can train as long as I want without you pestering me with that idiotic smile on your face or prancing your ass around the door and I won't be able to hear that annoying voice of yours around here! FINE!
Vegeta marched to the gravity room. He began to adjust the controls. His face was heavily laden with annoyance and distraction.
I wonder what the hell is she up to now? She has moved to Tokyo with that father of hers. She must have it all figured out since then. She never called which is just the way I like it. Things will be different from now on, Vegeta.
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TOKYO.
"EEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!"
What the hell? This can't be right. I mean, I was never a sickly girl and now almost everyday…..I have to….have to…..oh no! Not again!
I ran to the bathroom and threw up! Oh! I hate this! I hate vomiting. I feel so sick. I'd rather have diarrhea than vomit. I wanna die everytime this happens. I feel so dizzy. Something is very wrong with me. Was it something I ate? What's wrong with the cereal anyway? Daddy isn't sick. Why me?
Uh-oh. No. This is not happening. This is so not happening. I mean, I'm okay, ne? It must be the food or something I drank or probably gas or……except……except……THAT!!!!!
Bulma, take a deep breath! Inhale…..exhale……you're doing fine, girl. Okay, keep going. You can do this. There are ways to put all these doubts to ease. There are….m….m….me….me…..medi…..medical methods to do this, right? Dammit! Are you listening? ARE YOU LISTENING, BULMA??????
I found myself staring at the mirror. Nodding. Shaking my head. Nodding. Shaking. Nodding. Shaking. I'm not making any sense. This is not making any sense. There's only one thing left for me to do.
"IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
"BULMA!!!!"
The bathroom door burst open. Daddy was at the door immediately. He looked more panic-stricken than I was. He must have thought I died or something.
"I THOUGHT YOU DIED OR SOMETHING!"
I was slumped on the bathroom floor and stared at him. Should I tell him? What would he say? What would he think? Am I sure? What if I was wrong? Then there would be no problem, I smiled to myself. Well what if……what if……I was right about my suspicions? No! no! no! Just tell him you had a bad headache or something. Your eyes hurt. Your body hurts. Your heart. Your mind. My mind! I AM GOING OUT OF MY MIND! I AM GOING OUT OF MY MIND, DADDY!!!!
"Gomen nasai. I slipped on the floor, that's all. Really, I'll be fine." I could feel the hair in my neck stand from the lie coming out of my mouth. I have such a lame excuse but at least Daddy won't suspect. I am slumped on the floor, am I not? So it's obvious, ne?
Daddy knelt beside me and took my hand. He looked deeply. I could not look at him straight in the eye. I feel like I have the word GUILTY written all over my face.
"Hontou?" He examined me closely.
"Hai." I nodded. I wanted to whack myself for being such a stinking liar.
He helped me up and aided me to the sofa. He smoothed my hair and patted my head before he left. I felt like I was four all over again.
Gods! What would I give to be four again? At least, at that age I didn't get myself into this kind of problem. When I tripped Daddy would easily pick me up and everything would be all right. Now things are a lot more complicated. What's happening to me? I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what's right anymore. I don't know.
As soon as Daddy left for a meeting with his associates on a new project they were working on, I decided to take the ultimate step. If something is really wrong with me then I have no choice but to do something about it. It has been a week and I am running out of really lame excuses. I have not been feeling good for weeks and even during the last days of the conference and I have been in constant denial. I mean, what do I know? How do I know for sure? I can't keep falling on the floor and pretend I tripped again! It would be silly. This has to stop. I had to muster all the confidence I have been working myself up to for the past week. I even made a speech. I can't tell my friends yet. I don't want to start a panic. I don't want them to get all fired up and excited or I'll go nuts. That would complicate the whole matter. They would help, I know they would but I have to deal with this matter by myself. I can do this. I'll just be fine.
I stood up. Clenched my fist and nodded my head.
Gambatte ne, Bulma.
Next thing I knew, I find myself in the clinic. I stared at the name. I swallowed. I hope I don't throw up again. I super hate hospitals. They were never good to me. I had to choose this obscure place. I can't go to our family doctor. One word from me and it goes straight to Daddy. Bad news. I felt my eye twitch at the sheer thought of that.
I have been reading lots about home p….pr……preg……nan……cy test and some say they give you 100% results and it's supposed to make you happy and very assured. I felt suddenly lightheaded. I'm really having a problem even saying the word to myself. This can't be right, of course…..I'm not p…re…..preg…..preggy…..preg…..nant! I refuse to take the test at home. If I did, I might have really fainted. What would I do with the damn thing?
Waiting can be one's worst enemy. I'm usually patient but at this particular moment and in this particular place, I had this strong urge to get the hell out of here screaming at the top of my lungs far far away from this clinic. Everybody seemed so relaxed.
One lady calmly flipping a magazine. This must be her tenth time, ne? A little girl was trying to weigh herself. An older lady was gently scolding the little boy not to chew on the pencil eraser. And here right infront of me, a man kissing the lady, must be his wife. I quickly shifted my eyes to my toes to avoid the sight of them. I could not bear it. I mean, I don't have anything against them. I mean, look how happy they are. He is for her. She is for him. And them together for whatever is coming out of that big belly of hers. And here I am waiting for the damn test results with no friends, no daddy………..and no husband?! I was beginning to feel my eyes stinging again.
"Burifsu-san?"
"Hai."
I immediately stood up. I felt my heart jump when my name was called. I hope she didn't have to announce my name so loud. Maybe she could have just tapped me or something. I am getting freaking paranoid already. I hope no one remembers ever seeing my face here. But no one seemed to mind. No one even looked at me.
"You may see the doctor, ma'am."
"Arigato."
I was escorted to a small room. The doctor was not in sight yet. I calmly seated myself next to his desk. I tried hard not to fidget. I have to stop tapping my foot. Relax, Bulma. Relax, onegai?
The doctor came out of the small cubicle. He was wiping his hands. He was a smallish guy with a bald head. He was smiling. Oh no! What now? Will he tell that I can go home now and there is nothing to panic about? That I have been working myself up for nothing? Negative? I was just paranoid and stuff? What?! Dammit! WHAT THE HELL IS HE SMILING ABOUT???
"Anou….Burifsu-san…..I see you are here on your own, ne?"
How in the world am I supposed to answer that?
"Well, I have very good news for you. The good news is….."
My eyes rounded as I leaned forward to hear him right. I gulped. Oh God.
"You are one month pregnant. Omedetou gozaimasu!" He cheered.
No words came out of my mouth. I just stared at him. Did I hear right? Did he just say what I heard he said? Me pregnant? One month? Couldn't he have mixed up my results with those women outside? There must be some kind of mistake. There has to be. You know things like that do happen. I have seen that on TV. I have read it on the news. I heard it from neighbors. I heard that at work. I read it on the net. And they….
"Maji no hontou desu ka?" I croaked.
"Hai. Hai." He smiled even more. I cringed. He must love his job breaking such news to women, husbands, children, to people. He must believe that such news is always good news. Was it for me?
"Arigato gozaimasu." I give up. There is nothing left for me to say. I chuckled something about "surprising my husband with the wonderful news" just so I could justify the doctor's smile. What is wrong with me? I have been giving out one lame excuse to the next. But I could not leave the place with a bad face despite the news. So he discussed the do's and don't's when pregnant. I tried to pay attention.
Instead of taking a cab, I opted to walk. The air was chilly with the snow coming. I passed by a kissaten and I contemplated on a cup of coffee. The lady at the door handed me a menu and as I opened it, I hesitated. They just advised me in the clinic that taking caffeine would be bad for the baby. I think I will have green tea instead.
A waiter approached and took my order. The young man was smiling. He had braces on his teeth. Oh God, how many smiling people should I deal with in a day? I ordered a cup of green tea and a slice of lemon pie to complete the process of my self-internalization. The service was pretty fast though. My tea and pie arrived in just a few minutes. I guess, it was too ordinary. Maybe if I had one of those cappuccino….frappe…..whatever……it would probably take longer. Oh heck! I should stop with all these coffee insanity of mine. Doctor's orders. The lemon pie was so yellow and the aroma really bit my nose. How much lemon did they squeeze into this thing? I looked around and there weren't much customers around. I felt grateful. The least thing I need to see right now are lovers ogling each other in some corner. I rested my cheek in one hand while the other stirred my cup of tea. This is going to be a long day for sure.
It was getting dark. I hailed for a cab. I shook my head as I realized I have spent long hours in the kissaten. I felt tired but still troubled. Okay, now I have dealt with the matter by myself. The hardest part has yet to come.
I saw the house. I paid the driver. I walked slowly to the house and went in.
"Tadaima!"
"Okaeri! Oi! You have been out the whole day. I called one of your friends and they told me none of them have seen you. You did not even call. Daijobu?"
"Daijobu desu." I replied tiredly. I stayed too long in that place. Three cups of tea and two slices of lemon pie still did not help form a sense of reality to me. I must be dreaming. Yes! This must be a dream. This isn't real, I shook my head defeated.
But the question is real. The news is real. The results are real. This is not a dream. This is the truth.
"I am going to change. I'll be down in a while."
But just before I turned towards the stairs, I stopped.
"Daddy….."
"Nani ka?" He was busy reading a newspaper.
"There is something I need to tell you. We have to talk." Then I climbed the stairs and entered my room.