BREAK IT TO ME GENTLY

Kitchen.

Daddy was crunching on some garlic peanuts.  I was staring at my tall glass of cold strawberry-flavored milk.  The whole house was silent except for Daddy's incessant crunching.  I still stared at my milk.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Crunch.  I sipped my milk.  This is strange, why is the crunching so damn loud now?  I looked at Daddy.  Still crunching.  He stood up to get more peanuts from the jar in the cupboard.  He returned to the table and crunched more.  He was obviously waiting for me to spill whatever it was I had to spill.

I have never been afraid to tell Daddy anything.  Since I was a little girl, I always made sure he knew everything.  As I grew older, he became my confidante.  I had nothing to hide from him.  I don't really remember Mommy.  Daddy said I looked like her except for the hair.  She had blonde hair but then she changed her looks a lot that he had a hard time keeping track of what her real hair color was like.  He said I got that side from her.  I kept changing my hairstyle too often like she did.  Mommy passed away when I was five or six, I guess.  I didn't know what was going on then.  I thought she was on vacation.  A permanent vacation.

Daddy was everything to me.  As the years went on, we became more like buddies than ever.  At work in the lab,  I assisted him on his research and he would help me on my robotic models.  And then we would argue a lot on ideas.  But as soon as we got home, we could be lazily staring at the TV without a single thought in our heads.  It felt so easy with Daddy.  I was always proud of him as he was of me.  Protective mostly and open but this time……this time……

"Anou……"

"Nani?" 

"There's something I need to tell you but you will have to promise me that you won't erupt and you won't tell any of my friends or your colleagues or anybody.  Just the two of us first, ne?"

"What's up, Bulma?"

This is going to be harder than I imagined.  Say something.  Say it slowly.  No need to shock him out of his wits.  Yosh!

"Daddy?"

"Spit it out, Bulma."

"I haven't been feeling too well these past few weeks.  I went to clinic this morning to have myself examined and the doctor said….."

"WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? Why didn't you tell me, I could have taken you there myself!"  He cut in abruptly.  His face was a face of utmost concern.  He was never used to seeing me sick.  I rarely got sick.  He made sure of that.  So a week-long fever usually sent him to a panic.  He reached out to hold my hand.  It felt cold.  I don't know whose hand was colder.  His because of his growing anxiety over my condition or mine because of what I'm about to confess?  This is so hard, Daddy!

I lowered my head.  I was so confused and embarrassed.  I could not look at his face anymore.  I gently released my hand from his grip. I never really told him EXACTLY what happened between Vegeta and me that fateful morning.  Daddy knew all along I "sort of" liked Vegeta from the start because how come I would be living in the same flat, right?  I told him of a safer version.  We had a spat as usual but I never really described the explicit details.  Daddy never pried because he trusted me and I did not elaborate.  But now I feel like a complete dork for breaking his trust.  I feel so terrible.  Tears began to flow down my cheeks.  I covered my face and laid my head on the table.  I could not face him.  Oh Daddy, what have I done?

"Daijobu, Bulma-chan.  Relationships always come to such stages.  Well, you and Vegeta are no exception.  Your mom and I used to have spats before but we always tried to work them out.  In your case, you seem to have a lot more arguments with that man than usual.  But somehow you both seem to work it out fine.  Well, at least without the yelling, of course.  And the name-calling both of you get into.  And the hurling of stuff you do at him.  I don't know how you deal with your issues together but you'll see things will be better."

Oh Daddy. I'm just getting warmed up.

"That's not it."  I looked up at him.

"Eh?"

I sniffed. 

"I was at the clinic.  No I didn't go to Fujiyama-sensei.  It's another clinic."

"What did the doctor say?"

"He said I am….."

Daddy can just kill me right here.  Right now.  I can feel it in my bones and it would be all right.  I can take anything.  Anything but the pain.  The pain.  I wish I could just die now.  I'm so sorry, Daddy!

"…………….pregnant."

Dr. Briefs looked at his daughter like he was staring at something for the first time.  How could this have happened?  Of course, I know the process.  Dammit!  But how, I mean, she and Vegeta would always be at each other's throats every time he saw them together.  She and Yamcha was history now.  Does she have another boyfriend I do not know of?  But she never kept any secrets from me.  I trust her.  But how did this happen?  I have to know.  I must know.  This is confusing.  Is she keeping secrets from me now?  There has to be logical explanation to all this. There must be.

"Daddy….."

Oh God!  He is pacing.  He is not looking at me.  This is bad.  I warned you, Bulma!  This won't be easy.  He's mad now.  I can feel it.  Daddy, please talk to me.  Say anything.  Hit me.  Do anything.  Yell.  You should be furious.  You should be screaming.  You should be shaking me.  At least do something.  Daddy, onegai……..

I was crying my eyeballs out.  I was hiccupping a lot.  It's hard to breath.  I don't feel too good.  Why do I have a sudden craving for unripe strawberries at this moment?  Why the hell am I thinking of strawberries at this time?  Chikusho!  Chikusho!

"Daddy, please talk to me…….say anything, please?"  I was practically pleading already.  I cannot stand the silence.  Please.  I could not stop crying and at the same time I was having an internal struggle with my growing craving for unripe strawberries.  What the hell?

Daddy finally stopped his pacing.  He took a seat and still frowning at me and shaking his head before he decided to look in my direction. I was ready for anything he might lash out.  Anything.

"Here…..wipe your nose.  It's disgusting."

I was so surprised as he handed me his brown face towel which he pulled out from his pocket.  I stared at it for a moment before taking it and blew my nose.  Oh yeah, I am disgusting.  I made a perfect mess on the towel.  Wait, I mean, wasn't he supposed to be exploding mad at me now?

"Level with me……do you have a man that I do not know of?  Speak up!"

"Oh no." 

"Who is the father of that baby you're carrying?"

"You won't believe me if I told you."

"I said,……WHO IS THE FATHER?"

I bit my lip and looked at the small potted plant centerpiece on the table.  I wish I was a plant.  I could just sit there and no one would bother me.  Just a little sunshine and some water.  No problem.  The tears were falling again.  I hiccupped even more.  I blew my nose.  Sniff.  Sniff.  My eyes really hurt now.

"It's…….Vegeta."

Dr. Briefs could only muster a gulp from the confession his daughter made.  That man!  After all this time?  They always argued and he……he is…..ACTUALLY responsible for this???? But Bulma had already confessed her attraction to this man once.  Yet they fought a lot.  They argued way too often.  They were kidded a lot by everybody and they would go to lengths to deny the allegations.  And so it never occurred to him that they would be an item!  His daughter could have had someone else…..I mean she could but she didn't.  I am not underestimating Vegeta…….BUT……he is not human like us.

"DID HE FORCE HIMSELF ON YOU? ANSWER ME! DID HE HURT YOU????"  Dr. Briefs demanded.  Knowing how strong Vegeta is….he was capable of anything……even this…..EASILY.  It didn't even sound like a question anymore. More like an accusation.

"NO!!!!!"  I was so shocked with the question.  Of course, it hurt the first time…..but that pain was something else…….I mean, that was…..ahm……okay.  Every time we argued, the pay off was too much.  I admit I was rough on him too as though we could not get enough of each other but Vegeta has never forced himself on me unless……….I wanted him too……but then that won't be categorized as forceful entry in the anymore.  That would be consented because I was willing.  My mind could only whisper with the last few words.  Oh what am I thinking at a time like this?!

"He would never do that.  He never did.  We both consented.  I love him, Daddy.  So much."  There I said it.  My lips kept moving faster than my mind.  I know I have to say it anyway.  I could not stop.  I just went on telling Daddy how it all started.  The accidental kiss.  The broken vase.  The kitchen.  The gravity room.  The insane arguments.  More arguments.  The bedroom.  The living room.  How many times he would disappear thereafter.  How many times I would walk out and sleep at friends' houses.  How we made up.  The things we talked about.  I kept talking.  I felt like I was on a witness stand and a button was pressed and I just kept talking like clockwork.  Better lay my cards.  I have never been so blatantly open to anyone else but Daddy and he deserved the truth more than anyone else, before anyone else.  It's better he got it firsthand from me.  This is for the best.  I don't want to live in constant denial.  I cannot.

Daddy asked how come only now I knew about this if this thing with Vegeta has been going on for quite sometime already.  I replied that I have been watching myself since but then I think I missed out the last time. 

I lived in constant denial for one month and a week now.  I only had the courage to verify my fears this morning.  Daddy was not at all the way aware of the morning sickness.  He only stayed in my hotel room in New York for just a day and promptly returned to Tokyo the next morning.  He usually came for a visit and it had been only last week did I decide to move in with him here in Tokyo after the conference.  So that explained why I could not go back to my place.  I left everything with Vegeta and I did not want to face him anymore.  I mean, I did not want to……not after……what happened that fateful morning……..

I stopped myself for awhile and looked at Daddy whose face was torn between unfounded interest and anxiety with some of the intimate details I divulged.  He was definitely overwhelmed with all the information I have been coughing up.  Now you know, Daddy.  How much I cared.  I was weighing the options as to whether I should tell more about what happened that morning when Vegeta said those words or maybe I'd rather keep it to myself.  This is hard.  I felt so eager to confess everything I kept inside for so long.

"Does Vegeta know about this?"

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

"I'm still thinking."

"EH! NANI?"

"It won't be long, Daddy.  He will know and when he does…..when he does……"

"I hope this won't be trouble for both of you."

"I hope so too."

"I know you, Bulma."

"I'm so sorry, Daddy."

"At least, you have been brave enough to tell me all this.  Although I must admit that some of the details were way too risque for your old man to handle.  You are not the little girl anymore that I would easily pick up from the playground every time you made some trouble with the other kids or to yourself.  This is a wholly different situation.  You are supposed to know better than yourself than this.  You're older now.  This is a responsibility.  I hope you realize what…..I mean, WHO you are carrying in your body.  Nevertheless, he has a right to know about this sooner.  Your friends are bound to see the difference as well as other people.  What if he knew then?  What would you do?  This is your choice.  I can only do what I can to help.  I am glad that we settled this matter before your pregnancy becomes too obvious."

"Arigato."  I stood up and rushed to hug Daddy.  I was overwhelmed with tears and his understanding of my condition.  I felt like a big bone was suddenly pulled out my heart.  My mind was free.  I  could face anything now.  All I have to think about now is how to make Vegeta realize this but I can do that later but for now…..for now…..Daddy is okay.  I'm okay.  I kissed Daddy on both cheeks and his hands.  I was bursting with tears.

We both released from each other's arms and…….

Oh my!  Why is Daddy all so hazy to me?  OI!!!! NANI???????!!!!!