Chapter 9 ~ The Black Envelope
"I am pleased with you," Mrs. Deesia said formally to her daughter before sending her to bed. "The Dark Lord was most impressed with our pavilion, and you did not allow the children to ruin the evening."
"Thank you, Mother," Mur replied demurely. She was exhausted, and didn't want to be interrogated. She was glad when her mother dismissed her and she could climb into bed. It had been so nice to dance with Severus. Even though his mind had been elsewhere, she could feel his happiness. She couldn't understand why he had refused to take her to the Halloween dance.
Mr. Deesia was at the front door, a wry smile on his face as the boy in front of him chattered excitedly. "I danced with her and everything, I just kept reciting potions ingredients to myself. She thought I was crazy, but at least I didn't get hexed into next week!" Severus couldn't believe he was talking to Papa about this.
"The books I sent helped then?" Papa asked, amused, but knowing he was going to have to bring him down a bit before he could send him home. If Severus went home this happy, his father would be sure to wipe the smile off his face.
Severus was nodding when Papa continued. "You understand that there are more important reasons for learning Occlumency?" he asked, with a glance over his shoulder. "Lord Voldemort was here tonight. He will be taking up residence in Britain again. You heard me tell Mur that he's a powerful Legilimens. It won't be long before you'll be under a lot of pressure to take the mark, Severus." He kept his voice low as the boy's eyes widened. The grin had fallen from his face, which now looked oddly emotionless. Papa was glad. That was nearly as important as learning Occlumency.
"With a strong background in Occlumency, you'll be able to lie to your father about your intentions for a lot longer. You'll also be able to keep Dumbledore or anyone else from knowing where you stand."
Severus nodded, solemnly now. He had wondered if this wasn't going somewhere more serious. "When can we start?"
They agreed that the best way to gauge how Severus was coming along was to use Muriel. Papa would send him instructions by owl. Now that he'd read the books, it would primarily be trial and error to see what worked at blocking his thoughts and what did not. Sev went home in a much less giddy mood than he'd been when he walked Mur to the house earlier. He fell into bed thinking hard about Occlumency. His father had already begun telling him some of the Dark Lord's plans. He didn't want Muriel to get involved in that, and if Occlumency was going to keep her safe from it, he was going to learn it, and learn it fast.
By the time the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade station, Muriel was thoroughly frustrated. Try as she might, she couldn't get Severus to admit that he'd had any fun at the party at all.
"I hate to dance, Mur," he insisted again as they climbed into a carriage. He kept his mind focused as hard as he could, but it was no use.
"Severus," she said for the fifth time, "You enjoyed yourself. I could tell. I don't understand why you keep telling me you didn't when you know I can always tell."
He heaved a sigh and gave in. "Alright. Things weren't so bad once the hexes started flying, I suppose."
At this comment, she chuckled. It had been very funny to see that little green-headed duck appear in front of Black. "Yes, well, we're going to pay dearly for that when the house elves tell your father." Severus rolled his eyes and they fell silent.
* * * * * * *
The professors were giving them more and more homework. Muriel even skipped the Hufflepuff / Slytherin Quiddich match in January to try and get ahead. Hufflepuff hadn't beaten Slytherin for over a century anyway. As Muriel sat in History of Magic, listening half-heartedly to Professor Binns talk about the importance of next year's O.W.L.s, she was startled by a sharp knock on the classroom door.
Professor Dumbledore, his eyes grave, politely asked the ghost if he could speak with Deesia and Hawthorne, a Gryffindor girl that Mur had never bothered to talk to. Mur gathered up her books and silently followed him into the hall.
When he turned and handed each of them an envelope, she stared at him distrustfully. The other girl took the black envelope from him, confused, but obviously not understanding. Mur took hers as well, thanked him stiffly and went back to her class before Hawthorne could start crying. Dumbledore didn't stop her. She made sure the envelope was out of sight before she pushed open the door, closed it quickly, and sat down again to take notes. Hawthorne never came back.
She felt people's attention straying to her several times during class, but wasn't going to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing the envelope. The silver handwriting on the front had been her father's, so she already knew what information it contained. She would prefer that no one else found out.
It was nearly midnight when she got back to Ravenclaw tower. She had hidden in the passageway behind the mirror on the fourth floor for hours, reading and rereading her father's letter. She could tell that there was information missing. Her mother had been killed by Aurors during an attack on the parents of several mud bloods. "Which Auror killed her, Papa?" she had whispered to herself, over and over. But there was no answer to that question and never would be.
Mrs. Deesia had been a loving, vibrant person once, when Muriel was very small. It was difficult to understand how she'd become the cold, distant woman she had been the day she died.
As she made her way up the stairs, Mur fingered the pouch in her pocket that Severus had given her the day before. Little pills for turning Mrs. Norris green. He'd tested them on himself to make sure that they didn't have any side effects this time. They'd had a bad experience with color change potions and he wasn't anxious to repeat it. She let one fall outside Filch's office door just for fun, though no smile graced her features.
She tried hard to concentrate on this trivial prank, but her mind seemed to be stuck on the image of her parent's wedding portrait. It hung beside their fireplace, and she had spent a good deal of time looking at it over the summer. She had been trying to reconcile that happy, beautiful woman who waved and winked at her with the dark mark she'd seen.
Mur climbed into bed. In her mind the image of the dark mark floated over her parents' wedding portrait and she fell asleep on a pillow wet with tears, not for the last time.
* * * * * * *
As usual, Mur was the first person to arrive in the great hall for breakfast. Since the day she'd received her father's letter, she had come to breakfast early and left late each morning. Her dorm mates seemed to understand, and left her alone. Severus had written home that first day and Mrs. Snape had told him what was wrong. Muriel was grateful. It meant she didn't have to explain it. Even the marauders had stopped hexing her. She supposed Sirius had gotten the news from his parents.
The Hawthorne girl and two Hufflepuffs had received similar letters that day, and it was because her mother and others had attacked them. Muriel felt the weight of that like lead in her shoes as she climbed the stairs to Divination. She hadn't written in her dream diary at all since that day, but the professor didn't scold her. He seemed to note the date of her last entry, then nodded and moved on. Mur hung her head. She rarely turned in an assignment incomplete, but she wasn't going to write down the dream image that had haunted her.
"What if it had been Marisa's father?" she whispered to Severus in potions. "Or Kyle's mum? How would I ever have been able to face them again?" He looked up sharply. They had been avoiding any conversation about her mother for two weeks. Now she wanted to talk about it in a room full of Slytherins? For a minute he thought she'd gone crazy. But she was silent again for the rest of the class, and left the building for her Care of Magical Creatures lesson without another word. It was during this class that she received another unexpected letter.
Muriel, Your Aunt Rosa is coming for a weekend visit. I have already owled Dumbledore, and he has agreed to let you come home while she is here. I will be up to the school to get you Friday after your classes. Papa
Severus spent the weekend in his room, worrying. Muriel was upset enough without having to go home and see that her mother really wasn't there. He didn't realize that more than anything, that's what she needed. She needed a reason to believe in the reality of it, and watching Papa and Aunt Rosa go through her mother's things gave her nothing, if not reality.
It would have been a perfect trip, really, if it hadn't been for the boggart that had moved into a drawer in the kitchen. Muriel came downstairs the first morning and opened the drawer only to have her mother, alive and covered in dark marks, appear in front of her. The hideous burnt spots were all over her, except for her face. Thankfully, Mur had learned to deal with boggarts years ago. But what would make this funny? Maybe if the spots were pink bunnies instead of skulls and snakes. She thought hard of that. "Riddikulus!" she said, raising her wand.
But she couldn't bring herself to laugh, even at her mother covered in pink bunnies. It just wasn't funny enough. The boggart got confused, however, and she had time to grab a pan and slam it over the creature's head. Her mother disappeared and the boggart shrank until she had it trapped under the pan. Then she ran for a box. She was sure she could find a good use for that boggart once she got back to school.
What she learned from her trip home was that her mother had been no more or less than she had been, and that there was no guilt necessary if she really felt she didn't need to mourn anymore. She had watched her father mourn the loss of his wife long before she had died. He did not do so anymore. If anything, he seemed to be more at ease than she had ever seen him. It would be just the two of them now, and Muriel thought that would work out well.
"I am pleased with you," Mrs. Deesia said formally to her daughter before sending her to bed. "The Dark Lord was most impressed with our pavilion, and you did not allow the children to ruin the evening."
"Thank you, Mother," Mur replied demurely. She was exhausted, and didn't want to be interrogated. She was glad when her mother dismissed her and she could climb into bed. It had been so nice to dance with Severus. Even though his mind had been elsewhere, she could feel his happiness. She couldn't understand why he had refused to take her to the Halloween dance.
Mr. Deesia was at the front door, a wry smile on his face as the boy in front of him chattered excitedly. "I danced with her and everything, I just kept reciting potions ingredients to myself. She thought I was crazy, but at least I didn't get hexed into next week!" Severus couldn't believe he was talking to Papa about this.
"The books I sent helped then?" Papa asked, amused, but knowing he was going to have to bring him down a bit before he could send him home. If Severus went home this happy, his father would be sure to wipe the smile off his face.
Severus was nodding when Papa continued. "You understand that there are more important reasons for learning Occlumency?" he asked, with a glance over his shoulder. "Lord Voldemort was here tonight. He will be taking up residence in Britain again. You heard me tell Mur that he's a powerful Legilimens. It won't be long before you'll be under a lot of pressure to take the mark, Severus." He kept his voice low as the boy's eyes widened. The grin had fallen from his face, which now looked oddly emotionless. Papa was glad. That was nearly as important as learning Occlumency.
"With a strong background in Occlumency, you'll be able to lie to your father about your intentions for a lot longer. You'll also be able to keep Dumbledore or anyone else from knowing where you stand."
Severus nodded, solemnly now. He had wondered if this wasn't going somewhere more serious. "When can we start?"
They agreed that the best way to gauge how Severus was coming along was to use Muriel. Papa would send him instructions by owl. Now that he'd read the books, it would primarily be trial and error to see what worked at blocking his thoughts and what did not. Sev went home in a much less giddy mood than he'd been when he walked Mur to the house earlier. He fell into bed thinking hard about Occlumency. His father had already begun telling him some of the Dark Lord's plans. He didn't want Muriel to get involved in that, and if Occlumency was going to keep her safe from it, he was going to learn it, and learn it fast.
By the time the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade station, Muriel was thoroughly frustrated. Try as she might, she couldn't get Severus to admit that he'd had any fun at the party at all.
"I hate to dance, Mur," he insisted again as they climbed into a carriage. He kept his mind focused as hard as he could, but it was no use.
"Severus," she said for the fifth time, "You enjoyed yourself. I could tell. I don't understand why you keep telling me you didn't when you know I can always tell."
He heaved a sigh and gave in. "Alright. Things weren't so bad once the hexes started flying, I suppose."
At this comment, she chuckled. It had been very funny to see that little green-headed duck appear in front of Black. "Yes, well, we're going to pay dearly for that when the house elves tell your father." Severus rolled his eyes and they fell silent.
* * * * * * *
The professors were giving them more and more homework. Muriel even skipped the Hufflepuff / Slytherin Quiddich match in January to try and get ahead. Hufflepuff hadn't beaten Slytherin for over a century anyway. As Muriel sat in History of Magic, listening half-heartedly to Professor Binns talk about the importance of next year's O.W.L.s, she was startled by a sharp knock on the classroom door.
Professor Dumbledore, his eyes grave, politely asked the ghost if he could speak with Deesia and Hawthorne, a Gryffindor girl that Mur had never bothered to talk to. Mur gathered up her books and silently followed him into the hall.
When he turned and handed each of them an envelope, she stared at him distrustfully. The other girl took the black envelope from him, confused, but obviously not understanding. Mur took hers as well, thanked him stiffly and went back to her class before Hawthorne could start crying. Dumbledore didn't stop her. She made sure the envelope was out of sight before she pushed open the door, closed it quickly, and sat down again to take notes. Hawthorne never came back.
She felt people's attention straying to her several times during class, but wasn't going to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing the envelope. The silver handwriting on the front had been her father's, so she already knew what information it contained. She would prefer that no one else found out.
It was nearly midnight when she got back to Ravenclaw tower. She had hidden in the passageway behind the mirror on the fourth floor for hours, reading and rereading her father's letter. She could tell that there was information missing. Her mother had been killed by Aurors during an attack on the parents of several mud bloods. "Which Auror killed her, Papa?" she had whispered to herself, over and over. But there was no answer to that question and never would be.
Mrs. Deesia had been a loving, vibrant person once, when Muriel was very small. It was difficult to understand how she'd become the cold, distant woman she had been the day she died.
As she made her way up the stairs, Mur fingered the pouch in her pocket that Severus had given her the day before. Little pills for turning Mrs. Norris green. He'd tested them on himself to make sure that they didn't have any side effects this time. They'd had a bad experience with color change potions and he wasn't anxious to repeat it. She let one fall outside Filch's office door just for fun, though no smile graced her features.
She tried hard to concentrate on this trivial prank, but her mind seemed to be stuck on the image of her parent's wedding portrait. It hung beside their fireplace, and she had spent a good deal of time looking at it over the summer. She had been trying to reconcile that happy, beautiful woman who waved and winked at her with the dark mark she'd seen.
Mur climbed into bed. In her mind the image of the dark mark floated over her parents' wedding portrait and she fell asleep on a pillow wet with tears, not for the last time.
* * * * * * *
As usual, Mur was the first person to arrive in the great hall for breakfast. Since the day she'd received her father's letter, she had come to breakfast early and left late each morning. Her dorm mates seemed to understand, and left her alone. Severus had written home that first day and Mrs. Snape had told him what was wrong. Muriel was grateful. It meant she didn't have to explain it. Even the marauders had stopped hexing her. She supposed Sirius had gotten the news from his parents.
The Hawthorne girl and two Hufflepuffs had received similar letters that day, and it was because her mother and others had attacked them. Muriel felt the weight of that like lead in her shoes as she climbed the stairs to Divination. She hadn't written in her dream diary at all since that day, but the professor didn't scold her. He seemed to note the date of her last entry, then nodded and moved on. Mur hung her head. She rarely turned in an assignment incomplete, but she wasn't going to write down the dream image that had haunted her.
"What if it had been Marisa's father?" she whispered to Severus in potions. "Or Kyle's mum? How would I ever have been able to face them again?" He looked up sharply. They had been avoiding any conversation about her mother for two weeks. Now she wanted to talk about it in a room full of Slytherins? For a minute he thought she'd gone crazy. But she was silent again for the rest of the class, and left the building for her Care of Magical Creatures lesson without another word. It was during this class that she received another unexpected letter.
Muriel, Your Aunt Rosa is coming for a weekend visit. I have already owled Dumbledore, and he has agreed to let you come home while she is here. I will be up to the school to get you Friday after your classes. Papa
Severus spent the weekend in his room, worrying. Muriel was upset enough without having to go home and see that her mother really wasn't there. He didn't realize that more than anything, that's what she needed. She needed a reason to believe in the reality of it, and watching Papa and Aunt Rosa go through her mother's things gave her nothing, if not reality.
It would have been a perfect trip, really, if it hadn't been for the boggart that had moved into a drawer in the kitchen. Muriel came downstairs the first morning and opened the drawer only to have her mother, alive and covered in dark marks, appear in front of her. The hideous burnt spots were all over her, except for her face. Thankfully, Mur had learned to deal with boggarts years ago. But what would make this funny? Maybe if the spots were pink bunnies instead of skulls and snakes. She thought hard of that. "Riddikulus!" she said, raising her wand.
But she couldn't bring herself to laugh, even at her mother covered in pink bunnies. It just wasn't funny enough. The boggart got confused, however, and she had time to grab a pan and slam it over the creature's head. Her mother disappeared and the boggart shrank until she had it trapped under the pan. Then she ran for a box. She was sure she could find a good use for that boggart once she got back to school.
What she learned from her trip home was that her mother had been no more or less than she had been, and that there was no guilt necessary if she really felt she didn't need to mourn anymore. She had watched her father mourn the loss of his wife long before she had died. He did not do so anymore. If anything, he seemed to be more at ease than she had ever seen him. It would be just the two of them now, and Muriel thought that would work out well.