November 17th, 2010

It was an emotional roller coaster. Randi had been released to leave without the twins. She didn't dare do that. What kind of mother would she be? The first week went all right. Jett's surgery went well and they seemed to be doing well on the machines.

Dave decided to get in a shift at work a week after the boys were born. Randi stayed home for a day with the girls when they got the word from the NICU that Jett's stomach was starting to swell. They didn't know why yet, but Jett was soon whisked away to surgery. Dave and Randi were beside themselves.

He was only a week old and he already had two surgeries. It was discovered he had a perforated bowel. It didn't look good for him. They prayed for him. Everyone prayed for him. The next week he seemed to do okay. Although he was still in critical condition.

"I have a chicken sandwich and tuna sandwich." Dave said sitting down next to Randi.

"We're not supposed to eat in here." She started staring at Gage.

"Then let's go out there and eat." Dave said. Randi shook her head.

"No. I'm staying right here." She said.

"Randi, you haven't eaten in two days. You need to eat." He said.

"Why?" Randi asked.

"Because you need to start pumping breast milk for them and if you don't eat they wont get any good minerals and junk like that." He said. Randi looked at Gage and then Jett.

"All right. Gage and Jett, Mommy and daddy will just be outside eating." Randi kissed each incubator and walked outside. "Chicken." Dave smiled and handed her the sandwich.

"Here. Drink some caffeine." He handed her some soda.

"Thanks." Randi said. She sat there staring at the food. "My whole body feels numb, Dave."

"I know." He said, "Like you're walking in a haze." Randi's lips quivered.

"Why did this happen to us?" Randi whispered. "Wh-What did we do so wrong to deserve such pain? What did we do??"

"Nothing, Randi. We didn't do anything." Dave said, "It just happened."

"It's not fucking fair, Dave!" Randi began to cry again. Dave sighed wrapping his arms around her.

"No it's not, but we need to be strong. We have two helpless little boys in there that needs us to be strong. They need us to help fight for them." Dave rubbed her back; "The girls need us to be strong for us." She shook her head.

"I don't know if I can." She said.

"Yes. I know you can, Randi." Dave replied as the doctors ran into the room. Code blue was being yelled. They heard the blare of machines. Dave and Randi jumped up.

"Please not my son." Randi whispered. They ran into the NICU and saw the doctors surrounding Jett's incubator, "OH GOD!!"

"Jett!" Dave gasped running in there but one of the nurses stopped them.

"You need to wait out here." She said.

"My son! My son needs me." Dave eyes were filling with tears as he watching Dr. Wolcott take his tiny son out of the incubator and put him on the table, "He needs me!"
"He needs Dr. Wolcott." She said. Randi started to sob.

"OH god." She sobbed watching them shock Jett's heart. Every time Jett's body jumped Randi shook. It was horrible to watch his. "Baby, hang on! Mommy is here!" Dave held Randi tightly. He was saying silent prayers.

"Come on, Son." Dave whispered. He stared at Jett. Then heard the gentle beat of the heart monitor. He saw Dr. Wolcott breathe a sigh of releife. He turned and smiled at Randi and Dave.

"Thank God." Randi whimpered, still holding Dave tightly.

"He's going to be okay." Dave said. He knew that probably wasn't true because Jett was still in critical condition, but he had to believe it for the sake of his and Randi's sanity.

December 1st, 2010

Randi sat next to Gage's cradle reading through a child's magazine. Sailor's fifth birthday was soon and she had to plan. She had been neglecting her daughters since the twins had been born and she felt guilty.

"Oh, Boys, what are we going to do for Sailor's birthday?" She asked them. Randi looked at Gage and his arms were flailing around. Gage took hold of his tube in his throat and pulled it out. "Shit. Dave!" Dave looked up from Jett's bedside.
"He excubated himself." Dave stood up flagging Dr. Wolcott down. Dr. Wolcott walked over and opened up his bed.

"Gage, what are you doing in here?" He chuckled checking Gage's breathing. "He's breathing on his own. It's a little ragged, but he's breathing."

"Is he old enough to be off the ventilator?" Randi asked.

"Maybe." Dr. Wolcott said, "We'll monitor him and see how he handles this."

"All right." Dave said smiled softly.

"Would you like to hold him?" Dr. Wolcott asked. Randi's eyes widened.

"Wh-What?" She asked.

"Would you like to hold him, Randi? Since he's off the ventilator you may. Just be careful of his feeding tube and wires." He said. Randi nodded slowly. "All right."

Dr. Wolcott loved this moment. He carefully picked the tiny baby up and handed him to his mother. Randi's hands shook as she took the baby. God, he was so light. She cradled him close to her chest.

"Hello, Gage." She whispered. Dave smiled proudly.

"Does the Kangaroo method really work?" He asked. Dr. Wolcott nodded.

"In many cases it does." He said.

"That's great." Dave said as he kneeled down next to Randi and Gage. "This is so wonderful." Randi grinned brightly.

"He's so beautiful, Dave." Randi whispered. She looked up at Jett, "I wish I could hold him too."
"In due time, Randi. Gage is a lot healthy than Jett." He said. Randi nodded.

"I know." She said softly. "He is so small."

"He's not even two pounds yet." Dave said.

"They've come so far. I'm proud of them." Randi whispered.

"They're great boys." Dave said as Gage started to fuss.

"What's wrong son?" Randi asked. Dave touched his chest.

"I think he's have trouble breathing." Dave took Gage from Randi's arms and laid him back down, "Are you okay, Gage?"

"Should I get Dr. Wolcott?" Randi asked. Dave nodded.

"Tell him he needs to be intibated again." He said. Randi went to go get him. Dave sighed kissing Gage's head, "You tried really hard. Thank you for trying to breathe on your own." Soon, Dr. Wolcott came back.

"Is He struggling again?" He asked. Dave nodded.

"May I put the tube back in?" Dave asked, "I want him to be comfortable." Dr. Wolcott thought about it for a moment and then nodded.

"Be careful." He said.

"Thank you." Dave said as he took the tube, "You're going to be uncomfortable at first, Gage, but just know that I love you." He slowly inserted the tube. Soon, Gage started to breathe fine again. Dave sighed sinking in his chair.

"They'll be off of it soon enough." Dr. Wolcott said. He nodded.

"I know." He whispered. They had been given a little joy those few minutes he was in Randi's arms. Dave hoped and pleaded that that contact will help Gage in his recovery.

* * *

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