This little piece was written for the Very Secret Diary challenge at The Dancing Dove. There are new challenges there every few weeks. If you like to write Tammy fanfiction, I suggest you check it out! (Link is in my profile.)

Hugs to all of you wonderful people at the Dove.

More hugs to Kitty for organizing the Seanfhocal circle.

Even more hugs to Miri, my beta.

And hugs to Marek, because he to very huggable.

April 1st, 429 H.E.
Can drink Myles of Olau under table.

June 17th, 429 H.E.
Cooper had prime minister's son and weeny redheaded page over for "a drink". Ha! Could drink weeny redhead under table! Could drink Cooper under table!

Would make better King of Thieves than Cooper.

October 26th, 429 H.E.
Weeny redhead has visited Cooper every night for past week to disappear into Cooper's room where they do something involving a lot of shouting and occasional crashes. Cooper says are "cleaning ear collection". Suspect are playing innocent game of find the codpiece without me. *sulk* Cooper gets to have all the fun because is King of Thieves.

November 20th, 430 H.E.
Cooper gave weeny redhead new pony as "birthday present". Cor! Cooper never gave me birthday present!

Still not King of Thieves.

November 21st, 430 H.E.
Birthday pony not even stolen! King of Thieves obviously gone senile in old age (nearly 20!). Would make much better King of Thieves as am not senile and can drink current King of Thieves under table.

July 13th, 431 H.E.
Weeny redhead and prime minister's son came to see Cooper. Brought "Raoul" (big dumb type - would make big bucks if became professional thug; must remember this as may have need of professional thug when am King of Thieves) and "Johnny" (nancy boy - could definitely drink under table). Cooper overjoyed at new friends. Suspect Cooper is boy-lover. Do not blame him. Johnny v. good-looking if do say so myself.

Later...
Just had terrifying thought: if Cooper is boy-lover the "innocent game of find the codpiece" mentioned in entry of October 26th not innocent-type game at all.

July 23rd, 431 H.E.
Cooper says may not play find the codpiece with Johnny. Cooper so selfish. Keeps four boyfriends all to self when oldest friend has none. *sulk*

December 17th, 431 H.E.
Ha! Have succeeded in stealing king of Tortall's midwinter roast. If this does not make me king of thieves, do not know what will.

March 1st, 436 H.E.
Still not King of Thieves. Still no boyfriend.

April 5th, 436 H.E.
Cooper gone on vacation with redheaded boyfriend. Says to watch rogue while gone.

Later...
Think will invite remaining boyfriends over. Offer v. kind: boyfriends must miss Cooper v. much, but will undoubtedly be overjoyed to go on date with man whose nose is not threatening to leap off face and start own Court of Rogue.

Midwinter, 436 H.E.
Weeny redhead actually weeny redhead girl. Cooper knew of course. Has played many, many games of "find the codpiece" with weeny redhead.

Still not King of Thieves.

September 28th, 437
Cooper appears to have settled down permanently with weeny redhead girl. Does this mean other boyfriends now unattached?

July 1st, 438
Have mysteriously disappeared from face of Tortall much to sorrow of many fangirls, namely Cecily. Guess will never be King of Thieves.