I'm so glad you guys are reading my story. When I wrote this part of the
story I was fighting though writers block. I don't want this to become a
drama over who is Harry going to end up with, and I promise in the end it
won't be..
Thanks for the Reviews again Nothing is My Own Read and Review
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Chapter Fifteen: Regretful Behavior
The intruding light of the morning sun forced Harry Potter's eyes to open, it was odd being woken by the sun. His heavy bed curtains usually prevented such an intrusion. It took him a moment to remember the night before, but the heavy weight on his chest reminded him quickly.
Pavarti's loose dark hair hide her sleeping face as her small fingers gripped tightly to Harry's robe. He closed his eyes feeling instant confusion. The previous night had been an emotional roller coaster for him, seeing Cho in such a terrible state had literally torn his heart out of his chest. Then at his weakest moment, when everything terrible in his life had finally surface, someone unexpected had walked into the room.
He wasn't sure what had made him do it, he didn't remember much after the initial contact their lips made. Honestly, he was thankful he didn't remember much because his guilt would probably overwhelm him. Her warm body draped over him seemed so wrong, especially when his mind was with someone else who was in a cold hospital room.
Harry stalled waking her, dreading the awkwardness he would be forced to face. "Great going Harry, sorry about the snogging last night Pavarti, can we just forget it ever happened?" he thought miserably to himself.
Suddenly she began to stir. She let out a soft morning moan as she lifted her head off his chest, "oh my, we must have fallen asleep."
"Must have," Harry said nervously.
Pavarti didn't try to cuddle with him or kiss him, she just rubbed her eyes, "what time is it?"
He shrugged, feeling the biggest knot in the history of knots developing in his stomach. She lifted her hand and rubbed his cheek, "are you feeling better this morning?"
Harry forcefully nodded, searching for the right words to say. She chuckled lightly at his nervousness.
"Pavarti, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kiss you last night. I mean what happened between us shouldn't have happened," he fumbled.
Pavarti smiled, "what do you think happened?"
Harry bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath, "I, er, we.."
"Harry calm down, it's fine. We kissed a little that's all," she placed a sweet kiss on his cheek and rose to her feet.
He watched her slightly shocked as she stood, "I like you Pavarti, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You didn't hurt me," she promised him. "Could we keep this under wraps, I don't think Terry would be very happy if he found out you were snogging his girlfriend in the Gryffindor common room."
"Girlfriend?" Harry inquired.
She smiled slyly and disappeared up the girls dormitory stairs.
Feeling very confused and bitter he followed suit and went up towards his bed. Harry thought about having to wake up in only a couple hours, and decided not to go back to sleep. He changed into some clean robes, freshened up a bit and wandered back down to the common room.
He narrowed his eyes as he saw a unhappy red head sitting on the couch, looking like she was waiting for someone, "morning Ginny."
"Don't you morning Ginny me, you owe me an apology and I'm not going to leave you alone until I get one."
Harry narrowed his eyes, "listen I've been going though a lot, and I just lost it a bit the other day."
"I don't bloody care about you snapping at me other day. I'm talking about what you did last night, "she swore.
Harry twitched uncomfortably, "what did I do last night?"
"Don't give me that line Potter, you know perfectly well what you did last night. Or do I need to go into descriptions for you?"
"Why the hell should I apologize, what happened last night is between me and Pavarti isn't any of your business," Harry spat feeling anger starting to rise in him.
"Pavarti?" Ginny asked confused.
Harry narrowed his eyes, "what in the world are you talking about?"
"What are you talking about?" she asked with an expression of puzzlement equal to his on her face. "Nothing, forget I said anything," Harry answered suddenly.
Ginny looked at him skeptically, "I waited up till almost midnight for you, Hermione and my brother. I mean all three of you disappeared after dinner. I thought you guys trusted me to sneak out with you."
"Ginny, I wasn't with Ron and Hermione last night," Harry replied.
Ginny shook her head, "you had to be, Dean checked your chest for me and your map and your cloak were missing."
"No, me and Professor O'Riley went to visit Cho in the closed ward," Harry informed her, feeling slightly upset that Ron and Hermione had taken his things without asking.
"Odd, I can't figure out what those two are up to, they won't tell me anything, "Ginny muttered with a frustrated sigh.
Harry offered her a smile, "well, let's try to figure it out, I'm getting tired of wondering myself."
She grinned back, "why Mr. Potter are you suggesting a little espionage?"
"I'm just tired of all their secrets this year, I think it's time we give them a dose of their own medicine," Harry said frankly.
"I'm dating Dean," Ginny said forcefully, jumping to conclusions.
Harry shook his head, "I'm not saying we should pretend to date Ginny. We just need to act like we're keeping something from them. Make them a little edgy, curious."
Ginny eyes grew wide, "oh, I like it. I'm going to write Fred and George maybe they can help. Their experts when it comes to this kind of stuff."
"Good idea," Harry agreed.
Ginny shot up excitedly and ran towards the portrait opening, she suddenly spun around, "can I tell Dean?"
Harry smiled and nodded.
He felt better now that there was some resemblance of a plan on the Ron/Hermione issue. Still, he was angry that they had taken his cloak and his map without his permission. He finally decided he'd wait down in the common room until they came down, then he'd confront them and see what they had to say for themselves.
Almost an hour later Ron Weasley came wandering down the Gryffindor boy dormitory stairs.
"Hello," Harry greeted sarcastically.
Ron smiled, "how long have you been awake?"
"Most of the evening," Harry informed him.
Ron widen his eyes, "well, where the bloody hell were you. Me and Hermione looked for you everywhere last night. I mean you just took off after dinner."
Suddenly everything clunked into place, "so that's why you had my invisibility cloak and map last night?"
"Oh course mate, Hermione was worried sick, I think your maps malfunctioning, we couldn't find you anywhere on it."
Harry smiled feeling a slight bit better, "I wasn't on the grounds last night, Professor O'Riley took me to visit Cho."
Ron lowered his head, "sorry mate, how's she doing?"
"Not good, she's still unconscious," Harry said sadly.
Ron placed a friendly hand on Harry's shoulder, "You could have at least told us where you were going. Come on, let's go get a bite to eat."
Classes were as dreadful as Harry could every remember them being. Although it was Friday, the looming reminder of the weekend kept him from enjoying himself. Most of the time his mind wandered back to Cho, she looked so pitiful last night.
"Hello Harry, did you finish your assignment?" Pavarti greeted in a normal tone as they entered their Divination classroom, winking at him to let him know she was okay about the previous nights activities.
"Actually, I didn't finish it," Harry confessed.
Pavarti smiled evilly, "honestly, what in the world do you do with your time. Were you busy last night?"
Harry blushed slightly and turned towards his astronomy chart Firenze had given them to help them read the stars. When he lifted his eyes he found a cold gaze coming from Lavender Brown, which was odd since he didn't think she was capable of any type of behavior besides giggling.
"Ignore her, she's just a little pissed about me not coming to bed last night," Pavarti whispered over towards him.
Harry swallowed hard, "does she know?"
"No, she just saw us asleep on the couch, and jumped to her own conclusions. I told her she was over reacting and nothing happened," she said rolling her eyes.
He nodded, "well, I wish she wouldn't look at me so hatefully."
Pavarti grinned wide, "since when have you cared what people think?"
Harry crinkled his forehead, what did she mean by that?
Firenze started class and cut their conversation short. Thankfully, Firenze's lectures weren't quite as vague as Professor Trelawney, and he never predicted a painful death awaiting Harry.
Pavarti disappeared quickly after class with Lavender and Susan Bones before Harry had an opportunity to say bye to her, which was fine with him. On his way to potions he considered skipping class, but what was the point Snape would probably just track him down at dinner to subtract points from Gryffindor.
The dungeon was just as damp and dreary as always.
"Hey Hermione," Harry greeted as he took his usual seat next to her.
She bit her lip looking like she was about to cry, "where were you last night?"
Harry finally remembered that he and Ron hadn't waited for Hermione before going to breakfast, and she was still clueless about his visit to St. Mungo.
"I'm sorry Hermione, I was with professor O'Riley last night. She took me to St. Mungo, that's why you couldn't find me last night," Harry offered quickly.
She opened her book satchel and threw her potions book on the table, "I'm really getting tried of you pulling away from us Harry. Sometimes I don't know why I even bother trying to figure you out."
"What? I'm not the one acting secretive this year. I mean what are you and Ron doing if you're not dating?" Harry accused.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "if thinking me and Ron are dating helps you sleep at night that's fine, but we're suppose to be your best friends. Don't you think we'd tell you if that's what it was?"
"Than why leaving me to develop my own conclusion? Just tell me," Harry demanded.
Malfoy laughed loudly causing Harry to lift his head and acknowledge his presences, "what are you laughing at Malfoy."
"Just your pathetic life. Send your emotional wreck of a girlfriend to the loony bin now you're going after a mud blood," Malfoy jeered.
"Shut-up Malfoy," Harry spat.
"Shut-up Malfoy," Draco mocked back in a whiney voice.
Hermione took a deep breath, "ignore him, he's not worth your time."
"What mud blood, scared I'm offending your precious Potter?" he reared on her.
"Anything that comes from your direction is offensive," Hermione said hatefully.
"Fifteen points from Gryffindor Miss Granger," Snape said hatefully as he swept past her on his way to the front of class.
Harry slammed his fist onto her table, "THAT ISN'T FAIR!"
Snape lifted his eyes, "you don't agree Mr. Potter? Fine, thirty point from Gryffindor."
"Harry don't," Hermione warned pulling his robe sleeve.
He flung himself back down into his seat eyeing Snape viciously the rest of class.
"Oh, I just wish sometimes I could curse the hell out of him," Harry said angrily as he stormed down the corridor heading to the Great Hall.
Hermione shook her head, "you got to learn to control your temper, you can't keep acting rash."
"Rash? He'll use any outrageous excuse possible to take points away from Gryffindor," Harry argued.
"I know, but he's still our teacher, and we can't question his authority. If Dumbledore trust him, there must be something good about him," Hermione offered.
"Dumbledore's a fool! Snape is evil, and I'm going to prove it," he replied back quickening his pace.
"Harry, don't do something silly, you should be worried about Voldemort not Snape," Hermione argued trying to keep up with him.
Suddenly he stopped, "why must I be concerned with Voldemort?" Why should I even care, I mean Malfoy is right, my life is pathetic."
She gripped his arm, "don't say that, I can't believe you'd even listen to a prat like Malfoy."
Dinner was silent for Harry, except for the looks Ginny kept shooting at him as she whispered to Dean. The meal itself was terrible, normally he didn't complain about the house elves cooking, but corned beef and boiled cabbage definitely wasn't high on his list of favorite meals.
What use to be the highlight of Harry's week finally arrived, and he slowly walked to the Room of Requirements with his fellow Gryffindors. They helped his pull out some pillows to do their stunting warm-ups.
"Hey Harry, when are you going to start on patronus again?" Neville asked with hope in his voice.
Harry lowered his head remembering Cho's failed attempts during the attack from the previous week, "I don't think that's such a good idea."
"On the contrary Harry, I think it's a wonderful idea, let's work on it tonight," Professor O'Riley said as she entered the room.
Harry shook his head, "it's too advanced of a spell, they'll never be able to learn it properly without a boggart."
"You mean like this one?" she said with a smile holding up a small wooden box.
"Where did you get that?" Hermione asked slightly amazed.
Professor O'Riley took a deep breath, "an old friend found it for me. I've heard you guys used one when Professor Lupin was your defense teacher."
"A Boggart won't work professor, it turns into your worst fear, not what you will it to turn into," Harry started to argue.
"Correct you are Mr. Potter, but I believe your greatest fear is a Dementor," she argued back.
Harry thought about her words for a moment, true last time he had faced a boggart it had turned into a Dementor, but that didn't guarantee it would this time.
"Well, if everyone is ready, let's see if my theory works. We'll work on the actually charm in a moment," Professor O'Riley explained before opening the box.
Harry approached the box bravely and prepared to face a Dementor when the lid opened, but a dark figure didn't emerge. Instead something familiar happened, similar to what he had seen Mrs. Weasley once face. His heart suddenly fell as he saw the fallen body of Ron laying in a puddle of blood with Hermione, Pavarti, Neville, Luna and Ginny crumbled in a lifeless pile near his feet.
"It isn't real," Harry tried to tell himself.
A buried body near the bottom fought it's way though the pile and surfaced and Harry stood paralyzed by shock and fear, unable to speak a word. Cho's lifeless eggshell white eyes searched him, "it's all your fault Harry, it's all your fault we're dead."
"NO!" Harry screamed trying to keep his wand from shaking.
"Capitulatius," Professor O'Riley screamed causing to boggart to retreat back into it's box.
Harry crumbled to his knees, breathing heavily. His friends watched him unsure what to say or do. The boy who had faced and defeated Voldemort many times without fear was shaking on the floor before them. His greatest fear was guilt, guilt for being responsible for the deaths of those closest to him.
December O'Riley helped Harry back up to his feet, "what happened?"
Harry shook his head in disbelief, "I don't know, that has never happened before."
"Apparently the boggart sensed a greater fear in your mind," she concluded, "I think we've done enough tonight."
The DA started to protest but slowly began to disperse back to their common rooms.
Harry was determined to regain his composure and demanded to stay and help clean-up. He felt it was his responsibility since he was the leader of this particular club.
"Harry, go back to the common room, me and Ron can finish up here," Hermione urged.
"No, I'm fine," Harry insisted.
After they had straighten up the cushions and where preparing to leave Luna suddenly pulled Harry off to the side.
"I know your scared of death. If you want to conquer it I can help you," she told him.
He motioned for Hermione and Ron to go on without him, "thanks Luna, but I'll be fine."
Luna gave him one of her dreamy smiles, "we can meet here in this room on a different day, I can help you understand."
"And talk to Sirius?" Harry asked sarcastically.
She shook her head, "you don't understand, you got to think about it on a different plane. Your trusting your eyes, but life exists on many different levels of consciousness."
"So your saying I can talk to Sirius in a different dimension or something," Harry asked her wondering why he was even continuing this conversation.
"Just trust me, meet me here this coming Wednesday and I'll try to make you understand," Luna urged him before wandering in a dream like state towards the door.
Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes, followed her out the door of the room of requirement. Why did he even humor Luna and her crazy theories, true she had prove her loyalty as his friend last year, but her strange theories and eccentric comments were just a bit to much to digest most of the time.
"Whomping Willow," Harry muttered as he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"Hey Harry," Pavarti greeted, she was standing by the door as if she was waiting for him to enter.
"Hello," Harry offered, puzzled what she was waiting for.
She leaned up towards his ear, "meet me in the common room at midnight," she whispered.
Harry eyed her wearily, he didn't get a chance to ask her why before she walked off.
"Don't do it," his mind told himself, but he knew when the clock hit midnight where he'd be.
Thanks for the Reviews again Nothing is My Own Read and Review
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Chapter Fifteen: Regretful Behavior
The intruding light of the morning sun forced Harry Potter's eyes to open, it was odd being woken by the sun. His heavy bed curtains usually prevented such an intrusion. It took him a moment to remember the night before, but the heavy weight on his chest reminded him quickly.
Pavarti's loose dark hair hide her sleeping face as her small fingers gripped tightly to Harry's robe. He closed his eyes feeling instant confusion. The previous night had been an emotional roller coaster for him, seeing Cho in such a terrible state had literally torn his heart out of his chest. Then at his weakest moment, when everything terrible in his life had finally surface, someone unexpected had walked into the room.
He wasn't sure what had made him do it, he didn't remember much after the initial contact their lips made. Honestly, he was thankful he didn't remember much because his guilt would probably overwhelm him. Her warm body draped over him seemed so wrong, especially when his mind was with someone else who was in a cold hospital room.
Harry stalled waking her, dreading the awkwardness he would be forced to face. "Great going Harry, sorry about the snogging last night Pavarti, can we just forget it ever happened?" he thought miserably to himself.
Suddenly she began to stir. She let out a soft morning moan as she lifted her head off his chest, "oh my, we must have fallen asleep."
"Must have," Harry said nervously.
Pavarti didn't try to cuddle with him or kiss him, she just rubbed her eyes, "what time is it?"
He shrugged, feeling the biggest knot in the history of knots developing in his stomach. She lifted her hand and rubbed his cheek, "are you feeling better this morning?"
Harry forcefully nodded, searching for the right words to say. She chuckled lightly at his nervousness.
"Pavarti, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kiss you last night. I mean what happened between us shouldn't have happened," he fumbled.
Pavarti smiled, "what do you think happened?"
Harry bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath, "I, er, we.."
"Harry calm down, it's fine. We kissed a little that's all," she placed a sweet kiss on his cheek and rose to her feet.
He watched her slightly shocked as she stood, "I like you Pavarti, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You didn't hurt me," she promised him. "Could we keep this under wraps, I don't think Terry would be very happy if he found out you were snogging his girlfriend in the Gryffindor common room."
"Girlfriend?" Harry inquired.
She smiled slyly and disappeared up the girls dormitory stairs.
Feeling very confused and bitter he followed suit and went up towards his bed. Harry thought about having to wake up in only a couple hours, and decided not to go back to sleep. He changed into some clean robes, freshened up a bit and wandered back down to the common room.
He narrowed his eyes as he saw a unhappy red head sitting on the couch, looking like she was waiting for someone, "morning Ginny."
"Don't you morning Ginny me, you owe me an apology and I'm not going to leave you alone until I get one."
Harry narrowed his eyes, "listen I've been going though a lot, and I just lost it a bit the other day."
"I don't bloody care about you snapping at me other day. I'm talking about what you did last night, "she swore.
Harry twitched uncomfortably, "what did I do last night?"
"Don't give me that line Potter, you know perfectly well what you did last night. Or do I need to go into descriptions for you?"
"Why the hell should I apologize, what happened last night is between me and Pavarti isn't any of your business," Harry spat feeling anger starting to rise in him.
"Pavarti?" Ginny asked confused.
Harry narrowed his eyes, "what in the world are you talking about?"
"What are you talking about?" she asked with an expression of puzzlement equal to his on her face. "Nothing, forget I said anything," Harry answered suddenly.
Ginny looked at him skeptically, "I waited up till almost midnight for you, Hermione and my brother. I mean all three of you disappeared after dinner. I thought you guys trusted me to sneak out with you."
"Ginny, I wasn't with Ron and Hermione last night," Harry replied.
Ginny shook her head, "you had to be, Dean checked your chest for me and your map and your cloak were missing."
"No, me and Professor O'Riley went to visit Cho in the closed ward," Harry informed her, feeling slightly upset that Ron and Hermione had taken his things without asking.
"Odd, I can't figure out what those two are up to, they won't tell me anything, "Ginny muttered with a frustrated sigh.
Harry offered her a smile, "well, let's try to figure it out, I'm getting tired of wondering myself."
She grinned back, "why Mr. Potter are you suggesting a little espionage?"
"I'm just tired of all their secrets this year, I think it's time we give them a dose of their own medicine," Harry said frankly.
"I'm dating Dean," Ginny said forcefully, jumping to conclusions.
Harry shook his head, "I'm not saying we should pretend to date Ginny. We just need to act like we're keeping something from them. Make them a little edgy, curious."
Ginny eyes grew wide, "oh, I like it. I'm going to write Fred and George maybe they can help. Their experts when it comes to this kind of stuff."
"Good idea," Harry agreed.
Ginny shot up excitedly and ran towards the portrait opening, she suddenly spun around, "can I tell Dean?"
Harry smiled and nodded.
He felt better now that there was some resemblance of a plan on the Ron/Hermione issue. Still, he was angry that they had taken his cloak and his map without his permission. He finally decided he'd wait down in the common room until they came down, then he'd confront them and see what they had to say for themselves.
Almost an hour later Ron Weasley came wandering down the Gryffindor boy dormitory stairs.
"Hello," Harry greeted sarcastically.
Ron smiled, "how long have you been awake?"
"Most of the evening," Harry informed him.
Ron widen his eyes, "well, where the bloody hell were you. Me and Hermione looked for you everywhere last night. I mean you just took off after dinner."
Suddenly everything clunked into place, "so that's why you had my invisibility cloak and map last night?"
"Oh course mate, Hermione was worried sick, I think your maps malfunctioning, we couldn't find you anywhere on it."
Harry smiled feeling a slight bit better, "I wasn't on the grounds last night, Professor O'Riley took me to visit Cho."
Ron lowered his head, "sorry mate, how's she doing?"
"Not good, she's still unconscious," Harry said sadly.
Ron placed a friendly hand on Harry's shoulder, "You could have at least told us where you were going. Come on, let's go get a bite to eat."
Classes were as dreadful as Harry could every remember them being. Although it was Friday, the looming reminder of the weekend kept him from enjoying himself. Most of the time his mind wandered back to Cho, she looked so pitiful last night.
"Hello Harry, did you finish your assignment?" Pavarti greeted in a normal tone as they entered their Divination classroom, winking at him to let him know she was okay about the previous nights activities.
"Actually, I didn't finish it," Harry confessed.
Pavarti smiled evilly, "honestly, what in the world do you do with your time. Were you busy last night?"
Harry blushed slightly and turned towards his astronomy chart Firenze had given them to help them read the stars. When he lifted his eyes he found a cold gaze coming from Lavender Brown, which was odd since he didn't think she was capable of any type of behavior besides giggling.
"Ignore her, she's just a little pissed about me not coming to bed last night," Pavarti whispered over towards him.
Harry swallowed hard, "does she know?"
"No, she just saw us asleep on the couch, and jumped to her own conclusions. I told her she was over reacting and nothing happened," she said rolling her eyes.
He nodded, "well, I wish she wouldn't look at me so hatefully."
Pavarti grinned wide, "since when have you cared what people think?"
Harry crinkled his forehead, what did she mean by that?
Firenze started class and cut their conversation short. Thankfully, Firenze's lectures weren't quite as vague as Professor Trelawney, and he never predicted a painful death awaiting Harry.
Pavarti disappeared quickly after class with Lavender and Susan Bones before Harry had an opportunity to say bye to her, which was fine with him. On his way to potions he considered skipping class, but what was the point Snape would probably just track him down at dinner to subtract points from Gryffindor.
The dungeon was just as damp and dreary as always.
"Hey Hermione," Harry greeted as he took his usual seat next to her.
She bit her lip looking like she was about to cry, "where were you last night?"
Harry finally remembered that he and Ron hadn't waited for Hermione before going to breakfast, and she was still clueless about his visit to St. Mungo.
"I'm sorry Hermione, I was with professor O'Riley last night. She took me to St. Mungo, that's why you couldn't find me last night," Harry offered quickly.
She opened her book satchel and threw her potions book on the table, "I'm really getting tried of you pulling away from us Harry. Sometimes I don't know why I even bother trying to figure you out."
"What? I'm not the one acting secretive this year. I mean what are you and Ron doing if you're not dating?" Harry accused.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "if thinking me and Ron are dating helps you sleep at night that's fine, but we're suppose to be your best friends. Don't you think we'd tell you if that's what it was?"
"Than why leaving me to develop my own conclusion? Just tell me," Harry demanded.
Malfoy laughed loudly causing Harry to lift his head and acknowledge his presences, "what are you laughing at Malfoy."
"Just your pathetic life. Send your emotional wreck of a girlfriend to the loony bin now you're going after a mud blood," Malfoy jeered.
"Shut-up Malfoy," Harry spat.
"Shut-up Malfoy," Draco mocked back in a whiney voice.
Hermione took a deep breath, "ignore him, he's not worth your time."
"What mud blood, scared I'm offending your precious Potter?" he reared on her.
"Anything that comes from your direction is offensive," Hermione said hatefully.
"Fifteen points from Gryffindor Miss Granger," Snape said hatefully as he swept past her on his way to the front of class.
Harry slammed his fist onto her table, "THAT ISN'T FAIR!"
Snape lifted his eyes, "you don't agree Mr. Potter? Fine, thirty point from Gryffindor."
"Harry don't," Hermione warned pulling his robe sleeve.
He flung himself back down into his seat eyeing Snape viciously the rest of class.
"Oh, I just wish sometimes I could curse the hell out of him," Harry said angrily as he stormed down the corridor heading to the Great Hall.
Hermione shook her head, "you got to learn to control your temper, you can't keep acting rash."
"Rash? He'll use any outrageous excuse possible to take points away from Gryffindor," Harry argued.
"I know, but he's still our teacher, and we can't question his authority. If Dumbledore trust him, there must be something good about him," Hermione offered.
"Dumbledore's a fool! Snape is evil, and I'm going to prove it," he replied back quickening his pace.
"Harry, don't do something silly, you should be worried about Voldemort not Snape," Hermione argued trying to keep up with him.
Suddenly he stopped, "why must I be concerned with Voldemort?" Why should I even care, I mean Malfoy is right, my life is pathetic."
She gripped his arm, "don't say that, I can't believe you'd even listen to a prat like Malfoy."
Dinner was silent for Harry, except for the looks Ginny kept shooting at him as she whispered to Dean. The meal itself was terrible, normally he didn't complain about the house elves cooking, but corned beef and boiled cabbage definitely wasn't high on his list of favorite meals.
What use to be the highlight of Harry's week finally arrived, and he slowly walked to the Room of Requirements with his fellow Gryffindors. They helped his pull out some pillows to do their stunting warm-ups.
"Hey Harry, when are you going to start on patronus again?" Neville asked with hope in his voice.
Harry lowered his head remembering Cho's failed attempts during the attack from the previous week, "I don't think that's such a good idea."
"On the contrary Harry, I think it's a wonderful idea, let's work on it tonight," Professor O'Riley said as she entered the room.
Harry shook his head, "it's too advanced of a spell, they'll never be able to learn it properly without a boggart."
"You mean like this one?" she said with a smile holding up a small wooden box.
"Where did you get that?" Hermione asked slightly amazed.
Professor O'Riley took a deep breath, "an old friend found it for me. I've heard you guys used one when Professor Lupin was your defense teacher."
"A Boggart won't work professor, it turns into your worst fear, not what you will it to turn into," Harry started to argue.
"Correct you are Mr. Potter, but I believe your greatest fear is a Dementor," she argued back.
Harry thought about her words for a moment, true last time he had faced a boggart it had turned into a Dementor, but that didn't guarantee it would this time.
"Well, if everyone is ready, let's see if my theory works. We'll work on the actually charm in a moment," Professor O'Riley explained before opening the box.
Harry approached the box bravely and prepared to face a Dementor when the lid opened, but a dark figure didn't emerge. Instead something familiar happened, similar to what he had seen Mrs. Weasley once face. His heart suddenly fell as he saw the fallen body of Ron laying in a puddle of blood with Hermione, Pavarti, Neville, Luna and Ginny crumbled in a lifeless pile near his feet.
"It isn't real," Harry tried to tell himself.
A buried body near the bottom fought it's way though the pile and surfaced and Harry stood paralyzed by shock and fear, unable to speak a word. Cho's lifeless eggshell white eyes searched him, "it's all your fault Harry, it's all your fault we're dead."
"NO!" Harry screamed trying to keep his wand from shaking.
"Capitulatius," Professor O'Riley screamed causing to boggart to retreat back into it's box.
Harry crumbled to his knees, breathing heavily. His friends watched him unsure what to say or do. The boy who had faced and defeated Voldemort many times without fear was shaking on the floor before them. His greatest fear was guilt, guilt for being responsible for the deaths of those closest to him.
December O'Riley helped Harry back up to his feet, "what happened?"
Harry shook his head in disbelief, "I don't know, that has never happened before."
"Apparently the boggart sensed a greater fear in your mind," she concluded, "I think we've done enough tonight."
The DA started to protest but slowly began to disperse back to their common rooms.
Harry was determined to regain his composure and demanded to stay and help clean-up. He felt it was his responsibility since he was the leader of this particular club.
"Harry, go back to the common room, me and Ron can finish up here," Hermione urged.
"No, I'm fine," Harry insisted.
After they had straighten up the cushions and where preparing to leave Luna suddenly pulled Harry off to the side.
"I know your scared of death. If you want to conquer it I can help you," she told him.
He motioned for Hermione and Ron to go on without him, "thanks Luna, but I'll be fine."
Luna gave him one of her dreamy smiles, "we can meet here in this room on a different day, I can help you understand."
"And talk to Sirius?" Harry asked sarcastically.
She shook her head, "you don't understand, you got to think about it on a different plane. Your trusting your eyes, but life exists on many different levels of consciousness."
"So your saying I can talk to Sirius in a different dimension or something," Harry asked her wondering why he was even continuing this conversation.
"Just trust me, meet me here this coming Wednesday and I'll try to make you understand," Luna urged him before wandering in a dream like state towards the door.
Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes, followed her out the door of the room of requirement. Why did he even humor Luna and her crazy theories, true she had prove her loyalty as his friend last year, but her strange theories and eccentric comments were just a bit to much to digest most of the time.
"Whomping Willow," Harry muttered as he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"Hey Harry," Pavarti greeted, she was standing by the door as if she was waiting for him to enter.
"Hello," Harry offered, puzzled what she was waiting for.
She leaned up towards his ear, "meet me in the common room at midnight," she whispered.
Harry eyed her wearily, he didn't get a chance to ask her why before she walked off.
"Don't do it," his mind told himself, but he knew when the clock hit midnight where he'd be.