Ch. 17: Sinking Slowly

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Last night felt like a nightmare, like it wasn't supposed to be real. I found out that Anna had done stuff with Michael, and to make it worse, she kept it a secret for a couple of weeks. How can I ever see either of them the same..? My eyes were closed, but sadly, I remembered where I was. The sheets were some of softest cotton sheets I had ever felt before. I could hear the breeze outside from the open window behind the bed, it was cold and chilling. Shivers ran through my body and I curled up into a ball and huddled under the sheets. It was finally morning after such a long night.

My eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the brightness of the room. All the windows were open, despite that it was extremely cold outside. I sat up in the huge bed, and stared down at the white sheets. I looked down at myself and pulled the sheets up over me again, making a quiet squeal.

'Oh crap.. Oh no.. Oh crap..' Sayings like that ran through my head. I periodically looked under the covers to make sure that I saw myself right. And I did. I was naked.. in someone else's bed. How could I do this!? WHY would I do this to myself!? How in the heck did I think that this would solve ANYTHING?

I hadn't noticed it before, but I heard the shower running in the bathroom that connected to the room I was in. I clutched the sheets in my fists for a long time, about the same amount of time as I did staring at the open door to the bathroom. I was so dazed that I hadn't noticed when the water turned off. 'If I hurry up, I can get dressed and.. and I can get out of here before he comes out of there..' THAT WON'T WORK! Because I took too much time staring at the bathroom door for me to get dressed and leave before he noticed.

Tai walked out of the bathroom with only his boxers on, his hair was soaked and for the first time, actually flat. His entire body was still soaked from the shower, which made him glisten. I wasn't embarrassed to be here, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SEE THIS. Tai opened up his closet and reached for some pants. He pulled off a pair of vintage boot cut jeans from the hanger and pulled them over his legs. You couldn't see his boxers, not like you could see a guy's boxers in America, you only saw how long his pants went. And people say that guys don't wear low risers!

I crouched next to the headboard of his bed and watched him walk over to me without a shirt on. 'This is so uncomfortable..'

Pulling a pillow that was next to me, I covered myself with it. He chuckled a bit and then climbed over the bed and sat down in front of me. He leaned over and attempted to kiss me, but ended up kissing my cheek. Before he backed his face away, he sighed.

"Morning.." He said cheerfully. "How did you sleep?"

I couldn't stand the look on his face so I didn't, I turned away from him. I tried to remember what we did last night.. although it was pretty obvious. But I couldn't remember anything besides me walking into his house and sitting on his couch, and crying to him about Michael. That's it..

I didn't answer him. I didn't have anything to answer in the first place. He leaned back on his elbows and continued to look me over.

"Please stop.." I mentioned quietly. Tai looked at me, confused for a bit.

"Sorry Mimi, you just look..awesome." He smirked confidently. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.

"Would you hand me my clothes please..."

"Are you okay?" He asked when he handed me my clothes from last night. I grabbed them out of his hands quickly and used them to cover myself along with the bed sheets.

"Could you leave so I can get dressed." I was straight forward and my voice was soft. He tried to protest by saying that it wouldn't make a difference considering what happened last night.

"Please Tai!" I said firmly. He nodded and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I waited in the bed for a minute to make sure he wouldn't walk in again. I kicked the covers off of me and pulled up my black skirt. My white halter top was wrinkled on the bed. I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself: my ponytail had been let out and my curls were flattened and messed up. My face was pale. I didn't bother to even put on my heels, I grabbed them off of the floor and walked out of the room. Down the hall, I almost ran to the door. Tai stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

I walked past him and exited his apartment. I passed the elevator and ran to the end of the hall where I walked through the door to the stairs.

From down the hall, I could hear his door click open again. Pushing the EXIT door open, I ran through it without looking back to see Tai standing at his door. Tears ran down my cold face as I jumped down the flights of stairs to the lobby level.

Where would I go from here? Tai brought me here.. I don't have my car... Outside of the apartment it was threatening to rain down like it had most of the night. The sky was almost black and puffy gray lines ran through the dark clouds. A rain drop fell from the overhang that I had been sitting under. I sat motionless on the stone bench outside the entrance. It was hard to even concentrate on anything other than this situation. 'I need to get home...' Even though I tried so hard to keep my mind off of it, I couldn't stop thinking about me and Tai... it was just an accident...

I searched around myself for a purse or a cell phone, but I didn't find anything like that. I hadn't brought my purse with me last night. 'Great.' By now it was raining steadily and there was a waterfall which made a clear wall across the entrance. I stood up and walked through the cold water as if I was stepping into a new world, a cold, dark, wet world that was filled with people who didn't care about anyone but themselves. There wasn't a way for me to keep dry even I wanted to.

Here I was at an all-time low in my life: My boyfriend is cheating on me with one of my best friends, I had sex with another best friend, I don't have my cell phone to call someone for a ride.. and I don't have my wallet with money to use a pay phone.

I could feel my life falling down a spiral stairway; about to hit rock bottom. I promised myself that I would save myself for marriage... but now all of those years that I had conquered were diminished by one vulnerable night. For so many years I had fought every urge and ever temptation to have sex before I was married, and I threw it all away! I felt like I was on a drenched cliff and I couldn't keep my footing and I was letting myself slip away to the dogs. 'Lord forgive me... please...'

I prayed to myself, not expecting anything in return. At this point, I was almost positive that God had closed His doors on me... never to hear me again. I was a disgrace to Him and my family. And this wasn't just anyone who I had sex with... this was one of my best friends. I felt so low.

I started on the long road back to my house. The rain poured endlessly. The clouds grew darker and every light line was erased. I suppose I looked like a prostitute walking down the road in my short mini skirt, wet halter top, my make up dripping from my face, and my muddled hair. I walked on the gravel roads barefooted, with my heels in my hands. It seemed like I had only walked a block or two when I saw the large brick wall that surrounded our mansion. Standing in the middle of the driveway that had now become a lake, I realized that the massive iron gate doors were securely locked. There was no need to even attempt to push it open; the locks were tightly wedged. "Perfect...just perfect."

I took to walking around the wall to the other side of the perimeter in search of a tree tall enough to climb. There was a mound of lumber stacked against the bricks, in the left corner of the back wall. I stepped onto the logs and tried to climb up higher, but the wall was still at least 5 feet over head. The slickness of the wet log sloshed beneath my toes and I lost my traction. Falling flat on my back I saw the logs fall as well, revealing a vacancy behind them. I placed my shoes on the ground and I continued to remove the wood. The hole wasn't very big, but I'm sure that I could deal with that. It was better than nothing. I shimmied my way through the hole, not caring if I got covered in mud. I have enough clothes to last me until I die, I can afford to ruin one outfit in the mud. I pulled my shoes to me and a few logs from the outer side of the wall. I covered the hole again.

"This day sucks!" I screamed as loudly as I could. A few birds that had been keeping dry in a shelter in a nearby tree flew away because of my shrill outburst. I crossed through the cluster of trees in the back yard and walked toward the back patio of the house. Hopefully Gram wouldn't notice that I didn't come home at all last night. I knew I would hear it from her if she did. I turned the silver hook-shaped doorknob on the white French door, pushed it open, and walked through it so quietly that I thought I was home free. I clicked the door shut silently behind me and looked around the Great Room and the Lounge to see if Gram was anywhere near. I couldn't see her. I sighed and to the hallway that led to the bathroom. I needed a towel.. that's all I wanted.

"You better hold your pretty little bottom right there." I heard her voice from the Great Room; she didn't bother to talk in English, she spoke in Chinese. If you knew Gram at all, you knew that she only spoke in Chinese when she was extremely serious. Although her voice was coldly calm... so calm that you knew that she could slit your throat in an instance. I didn't dare move. I wanted to cry... this wouldn't have happened if I didn't let Tai take me home last night. I looked to the right, toward the Great Room, and I still couldn't see her. My guess was that she was laying down on a couch or something. I stood in that spot for a minute or two, waiting for her to tell me something. I think that the anticipation is worse than the actual lecture. Finally she got up from the white couch and glared at me; staring me straight in the eyes.

'Now I know where I get my eyes from...' I tried to calm myself.

"Come here." She had changed to Japanese now. I was glad for that, at least now I knew she had somewhat calmed down. I didn't hesitate to go to her in fear that if I had waited she would lash out or something. I stood in front of her; I looked like crap. "Sit." I did.

"Where did you go last night?" She stared at me, acting as a lie detector.

What could I do? I couldn't tell her that I went to a street race and then slept around! I was sent back here to get away from that type of living. "I was at Sora's." She looked me up and down, studying my choice of clothing.

"You went to Sora's house dressed like that? Was she having a party?" Gram seemed unconvinced.

"I guess you could call it that. It was more of a sleepover. And I always dress like this." I'm surprised that she didn't see right through me... I felt so transparent.

"Why didn't you drive and why did you come in through the front door?"

"I did drive. I.. I left my car with Sora because she had to use it for the day while her car was in the shop. And she dropped me off at the gate, but it was locked. And the intercom wasn't working, s-so I went around to the back to find a tree to climb up or something."

"Uh huh. I see." She rubbed her face with her palms and sighed. "Mimi, listen to me. I trust you, I really do. But if you ever sneak out and lie to me about it again, I'll send you to a correctional facility." Her voice was cold.

I don't know why I was so shocked that she knew. But I was stunned anyway. I merely nodded. She stood up and walked away.

"Get cleaned up. We're going to eat with Kihato and her son at Hihachi China."

"We're going to Ginza?" I asked quietly. Gram nodded before she walked into the dark hallway. I followed her to the hallway, but I took a right into the emerald tiled bathroom.

Joe.

"I told you that I would get the job done. And I am." I talked into my cell phone. "Just get off my back, Crawford." I slammed the flip phone shut and shoved it into my pocket. The room I was in was dark and only a few streaks of light pushed through the closed blinds. I could hear the rain slapping against the window. "He doesn't know when to drop things. He really should learn." I said out loud. The girl in the room with me agreed and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Now can we please have some fun?" She whimpered into my ear. I smoothly took her hands off of me and I walked to the closed window. I placed my palms on the sides of the window pane and leaned on it.

"Things are working perfectly. Just as I planned them." I couldn't help but give a victorious smile. "They're all just pawns. Soon I'll have it all and I won't have to worry about that pompous fool Crawford." I laughed to myself, not even paying attention to the woman on the bed. She meant nothing now. Nor did she ever. I ran my hands through my dark hair before it fell into my eyes. My chest was bare and my pants were low on my hips. My narrow glasses took place of my contacts. I walked to the onyx colored desk in the corner of the room. On it was a gun; my gun. I lifted it in my hands as

I examined it closely. I loved the way that even though there was no light in the room the gun glistened when it was angled in different ways. I pointed the gun at the woman on the bed, holding it tightly in my right hand. I grinned with malevolence as I aimed the gun at the spot directly between her eyes. Her slim silhouette tensed when she saw the glimmer of the gun aimed at skull. She shook slightly. I pulled back the trigger and heard it click. I knew that the safety was on... but she didn't. That was the best part of the game: fear. The look of pure fear that was on her face gave me a thrill, it gave me an adrenaline rush. When she heard the click of the gun she gave a cry in the deafening silence. I couldn't help but laugh at her craven attitude.

I placed the gun in the holster on the side of my pants and walked over to her. She was still shaking and she wouldn't touch me. I gripped her shoulders and lifted her so that she was standing on the bed. I grinned and kissed her stomach. I could feel her stomach pulling itself into knots when I touched her. She was terrified.

I heard her start to cry. "Now we can have some fun." I told her with confidence even though her body was shaking with sobs still.

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A/N: Oh wow... I don't think I've written in 2 months or so. I AM SO SORRY. I really don't have an excuse this time. Just remember, the longer the wait, the more anticipation you have. And then the better the chapter will be! It gives you time to make up your own ending to this. So tell me what you think and what you think I should add! Love ya--ciao