Chapter 20- Avoiding These Feelings
When Draco had put his broom away, Hermione left him for the Gryffindor common room. The students who had visited Hogsmeade were just beginning to arrive, bright-eyed and laughing about their day. Among these enthusiastic conversers were Ron and Harry, waiting for Hermione by the portrait hole.
"We need to talk to you, Hermione," Ron said immediately. He did not look very happy.
"All right. Where?" she asked wearily. If he was about to yell at her for something or other, she did not want the rest of the House to hear.
"My room. We would go to yours, but you know how the girls' dormitory is."
Harry gave her a sympathetic look as they climbed the stairs. *This can't be good*, she thought. Ron closed the door firmly once they were all inside. He whirled on Hermione, but before he could speak, Harry made a suggestion.
"Maybe you should sit down, Hermione. And…You and Ron should probably not be on the same side of the room."
Hermione sat on the bed, now deeply curious. Ron shot Harry an annoyed glare before dropping his bomb. "Hermione, we saw you on the Quidditch pitch with Malfoy. What were you doing?"
She opened her mouth, but closed it again. She thought they had been careful, but apparently it was not enough. *We should have prepared for this situation. But what would be a plausible explanation except for the truth?*
"Are you and Malfoy…together?" Harry asked.
Hermione looked at Harry. He did not look angry, but curious. And concerned. She did not know how to tell her two best friends that she was going steady with their arch-nemesis, so she merely nodded.
It was then that Ron's bomb exploded. "Malfoy?! Are you kidding? How could you possibly *like* him? Are you forgetting all the horrible things he's done?" Hermione looked at the rug. Water gathered in her eyes, but hovered there, not falling, not giving her relief. They stung her, but she could not blink them back. "This is Malfoy we're talking about, who's called you a Mudblood on more than many occasions, who insults Harry and me and our families at every chance, who has gotten us more detentions that I kept track of, who's a pureblood maniac, whose father is a *Death Eater*, who- Harry, aren't you going to say something?"
Hermione glanced at Harry, who was looking at her strangely. "How long have you been with him?" Hermione bit her lip. "Hermione? How long?"
"Christmas," she whispered.
"What?! You've been hiding this from us for four months!! How could you hide something like this?" Ron was not about to act rationally.
"Because I knew how you two would act!! I knew you would get angry and maybe even start hating me!" The tears that had tortured her now spilled over. Her vision was blurred, and she felt like two waterfalls were cascading down her face.
"How should we act, Hermione? Malfoy- Merlin, I can't believe this! After all he's done to you, to us, how could you give him a chance?"
"You don't know him!" she cried angrily. "I've been talking to him since almost the beginning of term, and I've learned a lot about him. He is much more complicated than you think. And he is *not* a pureblood maniac. He hates his father! He hates his life, and for good reason! But you would never take the time to get to know him, would you!"
"Hermione-" Harry began.
"You would be happy if he died! Admit it! You've hated him since you first met him! He's not anything like you think. Nobody knows him, nobody but me, and if they did they wouldn't care, because of his reputation. If you really knew him, you would not be acting like complete gits! But I don't care! I don't care what *either* of you think! You have each other now, you don't need me! And I-"
She cut herself off, unwilling to speak aloud the thoughts she had been having.
"You what?" Ron snapped. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. She was still crying; the tears just would not stop.
"What do you care?" she hissed, and stormed out of the room.
"Hermione!" Ron called after her, but she did not turn.
Harry caught up with her in the hallway. She spun quickly to face him. "What?"
He still wore that same confusing, concerned look. "I want you to know, I don't feel the same as Ron. I'm not really sure what to think, to tell the truth. I was angry at first, but I had time to think about it. You're by no means stupid, you wouldn't let yourself get involved with Malfoy, the way he acted before. The truth is, I have noticed a change in him, though I never could tell what it was. Now I know, it's you."
"I'm worried about you, though. He may not be the same person he was, or he may never have been the person he was, but I still don't trust him. I want you to promise to be careful."
"I am careful. I'm always careful. Harry, why are you so calm about this?"
"I figure someone has to balance Ron's anger. No, really, I want you to be happy. I never expected that would be with Malfoy, but I never expected to like Ron as more than a friend, either."
They stopped when a fourth year passed them. Both of them watched him disappear. Hermione let everything sink in. Her tears were slower now, but they were no less continuous.
"Whatever makes you happy has to be a good thing. But I think…I don't think it's a good idea for you not to be around a lot, or for you to be seen with Malfoy."
"Might ruin my reputation?"
"No. I'm worried about what Ron might do. He's in a very murderous state of mind. I distinctly heard him say, 'If I see her with him, I swear I'll kill him'. Direct quote. And I don't want you to be caught up in that. But you should have seen him before. He was about to burst his way into the Slytherin common room and start cursing everything in sight. I'm afraid he might hurt someone, or accidentally let it leak out to the other students. I'm just guessing, since you didn't tell us you haven't told anyone else."
"Well…I told Ginny, but I didn't mean to. If…if Ron would actually listen, I might be able to explain it to you."
"I don't think he's ready to be reasonable about this. Just…cool it down with Malfoy, will you? Just until he is. But I'll listen to you, whenever you want to tell me."
"Thanks, Harry. But not now. I need…I need to get cleaned up. You know how tears are." She was still crying, and felt a new bout of tears coming on.
"I'll see you later, Hermione. You'll be okay, right?"
She was supposed to not see her boyfriend, and Harry expected her to be okay? Of course she wasn't. "Yes." She smiled tightly. He put his hand on her shoulder supportively, then went back into Ron's room. When he opened the door, Hermione heard, "The next time I see him…"
She went as quickly as she could to her own room, then flung herself down on the bed and cried until she couldn't anymore. She reminded herself strongly of Ginny at that moment.
*Speak of the redhead, and she appears.* Ginny had just walked in. She saw right away that Hermione was unhappy. Rushing to her side, she tried to comfort her, but nothing worked.
Hermione would only sink farther into depression the harder her friends tried to cheer her up.
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Draco did not know what was going on with Hermione, but he had not managed to speak to her for almost a month now. He knew she was avoiding him the night when he waited in the ror for two hours, but she did not show up. He tried to send her notes, but apparently she never checked to see if they were there. He sent her owls, but she ignored them. She never made eye contact during the day, and she never said anything to him but *Studying for N.E.W.T.s*.
Eventually, he had to do the unthinkable. He talked to her in public. When Care of Magical Creatures was over, he used his wandless power to scatter her belongings on the ground. She waved her Housemates on, and he hung back, doing the same to the Slytherins. Hagrid took their lesson back behind his hut, and he approached Hermione.
"What are you doing, Draco?" she asked without looking up.
"You've been avoiding me."
"I can't talk right now." She slung her bag over her shoulder. Staring straight at the castle, she stood motionless, as though waiting.
"I want to know what this is about, but obviously you aren't going to tell me. Will you meet me tonight? By the tree, you know the one. The first Hogsmeade weekend that neither of us went to."
"Draco, I can't…I have to study for N.E.W.T.s." Her facial expression changed, to one of helplessness and longing.
"Just meet me."
After a moment, she nodded curtly and started walking. Draco watched her go, not noticing when Hagrid returned. "I know you and Hermione 'ave never gotten along," the giant said, startling him. "So this confuses me. But I guess you two 'ave come to an understandin' . I jus' want ye ter know, if ye hurt her, ye'll have me ter deal with."
Draco turned, looking up at the huge man. "I won't hurt her," he said, promising more to himself than to Hagrid.
End Chapter 4
Note: For meeting under the tree, see prologue, In Medias Res.
I feel so loved that all my friends have noticed the change in my hair. That was sarcastic.
Next chapter up soon!! I do have it written!! Please review for confetti.
When Draco had put his broom away, Hermione left him for the Gryffindor common room. The students who had visited Hogsmeade were just beginning to arrive, bright-eyed and laughing about their day. Among these enthusiastic conversers were Ron and Harry, waiting for Hermione by the portrait hole.
"We need to talk to you, Hermione," Ron said immediately. He did not look very happy.
"All right. Where?" she asked wearily. If he was about to yell at her for something or other, she did not want the rest of the House to hear.
"My room. We would go to yours, but you know how the girls' dormitory is."
Harry gave her a sympathetic look as they climbed the stairs. *This can't be good*, she thought. Ron closed the door firmly once they were all inside. He whirled on Hermione, but before he could speak, Harry made a suggestion.
"Maybe you should sit down, Hermione. And…You and Ron should probably not be on the same side of the room."
Hermione sat on the bed, now deeply curious. Ron shot Harry an annoyed glare before dropping his bomb. "Hermione, we saw you on the Quidditch pitch with Malfoy. What were you doing?"
She opened her mouth, but closed it again. She thought they had been careful, but apparently it was not enough. *We should have prepared for this situation. But what would be a plausible explanation except for the truth?*
"Are you and Malfoy…together?" Harry asked.
Hermione looked at Harry. He did not look angry, but curious. And concerned. She did not know how to tell her two best friends that she was going steady with their arch-nemesis, so she merely nodded.
It was then that Ron's bomb exploded. "Malfoy?! Are you kidding? How could you possibly *like* him? Are you forgetting all the horrible things he's done?" Hermione looked at the rug. Water gathered in her eyes, but hovered there, not falling, not giving her relief. They stung her, but she could not blink them back. "This is Malfoy we're talking about, who's called you a Mudblood on more than many occasions, who insults Harry and me and our families at every chance, who has gotten us more detentions that I kept track of, who's a pureblood maniac, whose father is a *Death Eater*, who- Harry, aren't you going to say something?"
Hermione glanced at Harry, who was looking at her strangely. "How long have you been with him?" Hermione bit her lip. "Hermione? How long?"
"Christmas," she whispered.
"What?! You've been hiding this from us for four months!! How could you hide something like this?" Ron was not about to act rationally.
"Because I knew how you two would act!! I knew you would get angry and maybe even start hating me!" The tears that had tortured her now spilled over. Her vision was blurred, and she felt like two waterfalls were cascading down her face.
"How should we act, Hermione? Malfoy- Merlin, I can't believe this! After all he's done to you, to us, how could you give him a chance?"
"You don't know him!" she cried angrily. "I've been talking to him since almost the beginning of term, and I've learned a lot about him. He is much more complicated than you think. And he is *not* a pureblood maniac. He hates his father! He hates his life, and for good reason! But you would never take the time to get to know him, would you!"
"Hermione-" Harry began.
"You would be happy if he died! Admit it! You've hated him since you first met him! He's not anything like you think. Nobody knows him, nobody but me, and if they did they wouldn't care, because of his reputation. If you really knew him, you would not be acting like complete gits! But I don't care! I don't care what *either* of you think! You have each other now, you don't need me! And I-"
She cut herself off, unwilling to speak aloud the thoughts she had been having.
"You what?" Ron snapped. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. She was still crying; the tears just would not stop.
"What do you care?" she hissed, and stormed out of the room.
"Hermione!" Ron called after her, but she did not turn.
Harry caught up with her in the hallway. She spun quickly to face him. "What?"
He still wore that same confusing, concerned look. "I want you to know, I don't feel the same as Ron. I'm not really sure what to think, to tell the truth. I was angry at first, but I had time to think about it. You're by no means stupid, you wouldn't let yourself get involved with Malfoy, the way he acted before. The truth is, I have noticed a change in him, though I never could tell what it was. Now I know, it's you."
"I'm worried about you, though. He may not be the same person he was, or he may never have been the person he was, but I still don't trust him. I want you to promise to be careful."
"I am careful. I'm always careful. Harry, why are you so calm about this?"
"I figure someone has to balance Ron's anger. No, really, I want you to be happy. I never expected that would be with Malfoy, but I never expected to like Ron as more than a friend, either."
They stopped when a fourth year passed them. Both of them watched him disappear. Hermione let everything sink in. Her tears were slower now, but they were no less continuous.
"Whatever makes you happy has to be a good thing. But I think…I don't think it's a good idea for you not to be around a lot, or for you to be seen with Malfoy."
"Might ruin my reputation?"
"No. I'm worried about what Ron might do. He's in a very murderous state of mind. I distinctly heard him say, 'If I see her with him, I swear I'll kill him'. Direct quote. And I don't want you to be caught up in that. But you should have seen him before. He was about to burst his way into the Slytherin common room and start cursing everything in sight. I'm afraid he might hurt someone, or accidentally let it leak out to the other students. I'm just guessing, since you didn't tell us you haven't told anyone else."
"Well…I told Ginny, but I didn't mean to. If…if Ron would actually listen, I might be able to explain it to you."
"I don't think he's ready to be reasonable about this. Just…cool it down with Malfoy, will you? Just until he is. But I'll listen to you, whenever you want to tell me."
"Thanks, Harry. But not now. I need…I need to get cleaned up. You know how tears are." She was still crying, and felt a new bout of tears coming on.
"I'll see you later, Hermione. You'll be okay, right?"
She was supposed to not see her boyfriend, and Harry expected her to be okay? Of course she wasn't. "Yes." She smiled tightly. He put his hand on her shoulder supportively, then went back into Ron's room. When he opened the door, Hermione heard, "The next time I see him…"
She went as quickly as she could to her own room, then flung herself down on the bed and cried until she couldn't anymore. She reminded herself strongly of Ginny at that moment.
*Speak of the redhead, and she appears.* Ginny had just walked in. She saw right away that Hermione was unhappy. Rushing to her side, she tried to comfort her, but nothing worked.
Hermione would only sink farther into depression the harder her friends tried to cheer her up.
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Draco did not know what was going on with Hermione, but he had not managed to speak to her for almost a month now. He knew she was avoiding him the night when he waited in the ror for two hours, but she did not show up. He tried to send her notes, but apparently she never checked to see if they were there. He sent her owls, but she ignored them. She never made eye contact during the day, and she never said anything to him but *Studying for N.E.W.T.s*.
Eventually, he had to do the unthinkable. He talked to her in public. When Care of Magical Creatures was over, he used his wandless power to scatter her belongings on the ground. She waved her Housemates on, and he hung back, doing the same to the Slytherins. Hagrid took their lesson back behind his hut, and he approached Hermione.
"What are you doing, Draco?" she asked without looking up.
"You've been avoiding me."
"I can't talk right now." She slung her bag over her shoulder. Staring straight at the castle, she stood motionless, as though waiting.
"I want to know what this is about, but obviously you aren't going to tell me. Will you meet me tonight? By the tree, you know the one. The first Hogsmeade weekend that neither of us went to."
"Draco, I can't…I have to study for N.E.W.T.s." Her facial expression changed, to one of helplessness and longing.
"Just meet me."
After a moment, she nodded curtly and started walking. Draco watched her go, not noticing when Hagrid returned. "I know you and Hermione 'ave never gotten along," the giant said, startling him. "So this confuses me. But I guess you two 'ave come to an understandin' . I jus' want ye ter know, if ye hurt her, ye'll have me ter deal with."
Draco turned, looking up at the huge man. "I won't hurt her," he said, promising more to himself than to Hagrid.
End Chapter 4
Note: For meeting under the tree, see prologue, In Medias Res.
I feel so loved that all my friends have noticed the change in my hair. That was sarcastic.
Next chapter up soon!! I do have it written!! Please review for confetti.