Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax. Not me. No money is being made off this fic. No one sue me, please. Thanks much.
Author's Notes: Criticism is always welcome. I can be contacted at Ziggymd24@yahoo.com.
Rei exited the bathroom. Water shed from her damp skin and fell onto the patchy carpet, settling down among its fibers and preparing to add to the beginnings of mold that was showing at its edges. The carpet's fusty odor followed Rei to a dresser where she picked up a towel in need of laundering. She gathered the towel into a square and began to pat herself dry.
"You can't wash me away," the child said, watching Rei from atop her bed.
"I did not intend to," Rei answered. She continued to move the towel over her body, and refused to turn toward the girl.
"Ignoring me won't help you either. I won't leave until you understand."
Rei dropped the towel atop the dresser and slid a drawer open. She retrieved panties and a bra. As Rei began to dress herself, she said, "I do not care if you think you are helping me, I will not abide your lies. What you seek does not exist, and in its absence you conjure these myths to torment me." Rei hugged herself. "I do not like them. They are unsettling. They cloud my purpose."
"Do you need further evidence that I'm not lying?" the girl asked. Her eyes were alight with vigor. "Your purpose should be the same as any other human's: to live. It's what your emotions are trying to tell you, what I'm trying to tell you - if only you'd listen."
Rei's fingers fumbled through buttoning her blouse. "You are mistaken," she said stiffly.
"How am I mistaken?"
"Because I am not human!" Rei fell to her knees and pressed her face to the dresser's cheap plastic finish. Like tiny streams, tears slipped and branched across its smooth surface. "I am not," she stressed. "I am a facsimile, a creation! What you prod inside me may seem natural, but it is not truly. It is an echo, a shadow; it is false!" Rei curled in upon herself, pushing her face behind a taut bundle of arms and legs. "Birth gives one a soul, makes one unique. I was copied. I can be replaced."
The child remained silent and let Rei cry. She never considered Rei had given the matter careful thought. It had always seemed to her that Rei's demeanor was a product of acculturation. Commander Ikari taught her to obey without question and nothing else. But her protests showed Rei had her own reasons for her cold attitude.
"You are not as naïve as you led me to believe," the child finally said.
"No," Rei answered, fighting to keep her voice from breaking. "I hoped you might show me something that I could not find myself. But Ikari has shown me the truth of my beliefs. I was right to distance myself from the others. They would realize, as Sohryu says, that I am a doll. It was foolish to long for something else," she bitterly concluded.
"Aspiration is not foolish. Belief is not foolish. They are the progenitors of change."
Rei uncurled and glowered at the child. "A spark cannot become a star, not matter how much faith one musters. Now, leave me be! Commander Ikari has given this empty existence purpose, and I will fulfill it. Then I will die and finally be free."
"He wraps your heart in lies and wants it cold and dead. You aid him with your doggedly narrow interpretation of life." The girl looked sadly upon Rei. "Poor child."
"From All Corners They Cried"
An Evangelion Fanfic
By Dave Ziegler
Part Seven: 'Eight Days Hence/Reclamation'
Shinji Ikari had finally gotten used to dressing himself. As embarrassing as it was, Misato initially had to help him choose and put on his clothes. Then, around the breakfast table, Asuka would amply needle him about missing buttons or open zippers. Her barbs hadn't always been true, but they were enough to make Shinji paranoid. He wouldn't suffer through that anymore, though. Shinji was now confident he could get it right.
He stepped to leave his bedroom, and then stopped. Shinji quickly ran his hands over his shirt and pants, mentally ticking off each button, snap, and zipper as his fingertips passed over it. Double-checking never hurt.
Satisfied that his clothes were as they should be, Shinji left his room and moved along the hallway toward the kitchen. He stepped to the right, and reached out to touch the small end table. Asuka was right. Just like making breakfast, moving around the apartment was a matter of routine. Shinji could navigate easily if he relied on his memory.
Shinji was feeling pretty good about his success when he stepped on a discarded beer can and tumbled wildly. He threw his hands out and quickly braced himself against the walls.
"Well, it would be easy if the apartment were clean," Shinji groused.
He fumbled at his feet for a few moments, and then finally grasped the beer can. Prudence required he get rid of an obstacle while he could find it, instead of leaving it as a hazard for later. Asuka would be disappointed in him if he left himself vulnerable when he could easily prevent it.
That thought carried Shinji into the kitchen, where he pushed the can into the recycling bin.
"Good morning, Third Child," Asuka greeted. "What's for breakfast?"
Shinji started, and then slowly turned around. He focused, recollecting the volume and direction of the voice, and then pointed himself toward it. The morass of black and gray shapes did little to confirm who it was, so he asked, "Asuka?"
"Why do you keep asking that?" Asuka wondered. "You did the same thing last night. Is another girl hanging around the apartment that I don't know about? Or do you just keep hoping that Ayanami's going to answer?"
"That's not it," Shinji said hurriedly. "I'd much rather talk to you. I just - you know - I want to make sure, Asuka. It's hard doing everything by sound. I listened to people speak before, but their voice usually took a backseat to their face. I'm sorry," he concluded.
"Don't apologize. I imagine it is difficult." Asuka rose and took a small red-cross bag off the kitchen table. "We'd better give you your second injection before you start making breakfast." She frowned slightly. "Dr. Akagi shouldn't have started you mid-week; it would have made keeping track a lot easier. I almost forgot you were due."
"It's all right," Shinji said. "I'm anxious to take as many as possible. If there's any chance it could work..." He trailed off, not daring to utter such a wish lest life quickly kill it. But if his hope was true and Mother's edict wrong, he wasn't doomed. He might still have a chance at life.
Shinji focused on the slowly undulating darkness he supposed was Asuka and felt his sudden hope fade.
"What's the matter?"
"Huh?" Shinji said.
"What's the matter?" Asuka repeated. "You look like someone just stomped on your cello." She leaned back against the table and waited for his reply. "Well?"
Shinji shifted uncomfortably. "It's - I - I wish I could see your face," he blurted. He waited for the explosion he knew was coming. Pervert, lech, sicko, she would batter him. Her derision and distaste would cut him quickly and deeply. Shinji knew its lash well.
However, Asuka only sighed. "I'm going to do something many would find revolting. Come here," she ordered.
"I can only vaguely tell where you are. I can't..."
"Can it, Shinji!" Asuka snarled. "I don't want to hear excuses, laments, or self-pity. It's time to act. You're perfectly capable of walking. You made it all the way in here. So, take a few more steps and COME TO ME!"
Asuka's vehemence jarred Shinji into motion. He took four sharp steps and was on the verge of another when Asuka stopped him.
"Very good," she congratulated. Asuka set the red-cross bag back upon the table and took Shinji's hand in hers. "You want to see my face? Here's your chance." Asuka cupped her hand around the back of his and settled his fingertips against her cheek.
Shinji gasped as her flesh warmed his fingers. He began to shake, but Asuka gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry," she told him. "I'm not going to hold this against you. Use your fingers, feel my face, and then etch a picture of it in your mind to replace the darkness."
Shinji took a full breath and managed to steady his nerves. He moved slowly at first, and hesitantly cupped her cheek. But when Asuka did not retaliate, when she did not protest, Shinji became more confident and bold. He caressed her cheek, and luxuriated in the soft thrilling sensations that raced through his palm. His fingers wandered up behind her hair and traced her ear, dipping and curling with its many bends and turns.
He brought his other hand up to her face, and drew his index finger along the gentle slope of her nose. Shinji felt a faint, warm exhalation as that same finger ever so gingerly slipped down over her lips. He shivered at their touch and the hungry, moist promises they had yet to share.
Both hands came down and curled about Asuka's chin. Then Shinji lightly dragged his fingertips all the way up her face, taking in a thousand little impressions of her lips, nose, cheeks, eyelids, and forehead. He curled his fingers back through her hair, till finally, painfully, they fell away.
Shinji exhaled slowly.
"Can you see my face now?" Asuka whispered.
"Yes," Shinji gasped, as tears began to softly roll down his cheeks. "I can."
* * *
Kozo Fuyutsuki had never been enamored of his superior's office. It was simply too melodramatic for the old professor's tastes. The cavernous size, the engravings, the oppressively Spartan styling: one could only take the need for intimidation so far before it became overtly ridiculous and disregarded practicality.
Fuyutsuki would have preferred something akin to his old office back at the university. Sure, it had been in disarray; books, journals, and papers had lain in wayward piles all across the room and seemed to be perpetually on the verge of tipping over. But, along with a small dash of personal effects, the clutter gave the office a cozy personality. It was a nice place to spend the day working.
While Gendo's office did possess personality, Fuyutsuki was positive he wouldn't be able to spend his hours locked away inside. Fortunately, only regular meetings required his extended presence.
"What do you think of Major Katsuragi's report?" Fuyutsuki queried. He stood in front of Gendo's desk, and eyed the inscrutable man curiously.
"The Second Child's school difficulties are none of our concern," Gendo Ikari stated. "And yet..."
"Yes?"
"You would agree that it is prudent to keep the pilots together, would you not, Professor?"
Fuyutsuki nodded. "It would make retrieving them for any operations significantly less time consuming than need be if the situation were otherwise."
Gendo smirked. "Among other things. So be it," he said. "Tell Major Katsuragi we will have the Second Child reinstated. Dispatch appropriate orders to Section 2."
"Yes, sir." Section 2? Fuyutsuki wondered. If Gendo was going to bring them into play, he wasn't considering simply having Asuka put back on the books. He wanted the trouble removed at the source.
The phone rang, and its piercing echo bounced for near a minute within the office's chasm. Gendo Ikari picked up the receiver and issued a clipped, "Ikari speaking."
Fuyutsuki watched as Ikari held the phone and listened. He didn't twitch, frown, shrug, or shake either. In fact, the Commander did nothing whatsoever to give any hints as to what the conversation concerned. What else is new? Fuyutsuki mused.
"I understand," Gendo said, and then replaced the phone.
"Dinner date?" Fuyutsuki quipped. He knew it was futile, but he hadn't stopped trying to pull a grin from Ikari all these years, and he wasn't about to give up now.
"The Old Men desire a meeting."
All good humor drained from Fuyutsuki's being. "The Committee? Why?"
"It would seem," Gendo said, "that current events are beginning to bear fruit."
Fruit indeed, Fuyutsuki thought. They would be lucky if this worked out as planned: very lucky.
* * *
"Well, here we are, Third Child. The very center of evil itself," Asuka proclaimed. She stopped suddenly and paused. Many of their fellow middle school students passed she and Shinji by and headed through the campus gate. "Oh crap," Asuka muttered, as she stared at the school.
"What's the matter, Asuka?" Shinji asked. "I made it here, thanks to you. There's nothing to worry about, right?" He cautiously gave her hand an appreciative yet questioning squeeze.
"It's all well and good that I've got you here," Asuka began. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the growing cacophony of morning chatter. "But I didn't consider how to get you inside."
"Inside?" Realization plied Shinji's face into a pained expression. "Oh no."
"Oh yes," Asuka countered. "Now we'll - Hey!" she yelled as a pile of boys casually shoved her out of their way. "Watch what you're doing, morons!" The gathering sea of students had completely surrounded them now, and Asuka cursed herself for letting them get caught in its current. "This is ridiculous," she muttered. "Come on, Shinji." Asuka began to pull him through the body of milling students.
The sun was bright, and the morning air was getting hot and thick with the smell of teen perspiration. By the time Asuka jostled through the edge of the crowd, she had dropped Shinji's hand and was busily fanning her nose.
"Good Lord, that was like being stuck in a pig sty," she complained.
"Where are we, Asuka?" Shinji glanced around furtively. Asuka watched and wasn't sure if he was actually trying to see or if he was listening for something that might give away their position. Either was unlikely: seeing, well, that was self-explanatory, and they hadn't moved so far away from the other children that their gabble would stop pervading as background noise.
"Not to worry," Asuka soothed. "We're far enough away from the gate not to get trampled." She wrinkled her nose. "Or asphyxiated, for that matter."
"Oh. Okay," Shinji said. He reached out till his hand found the sturdy brick of the school's wall, and then settled himself against it. "How does that help?"
Meanwhile, Asuka peeled her bangs off her forehead and thought longingly of the cold shower she would treat herself to once she returned to the apartment. Summer could really suck sometimes. "You see, Third Child," Asuka began while fanning herself anew, "now that we're out of that mess, we can think more clearly. We need to find someone who's allowed on school grounds to walk you to the classroom."
The wind swept along the top of the wall, scattering dust and pebbles in its blustery wake. A flock of birds descended upon a cherry tree and began to gorge on its fruit. The student's din softened some as more and more of them made their way onto campus.
Finally, Asuka leapt to her feet. "Ayanami!" she bellowed, smashing the silence.
The sound shocked Shinji from his contemplation, and he jerked, thrusting an elbow into the wall. "Ow," he swore as a sharp ache welled within the joint.
Asuka ignored Shinji's muttering, and ran toward the gate. She grabbed Rei's arm and yanked her out of the dwindling mass of students. "Come with me, Wondergirl," Asuka ordered, and hauled the girl back to Shinji.
Rei stumbled over her own feet as she tried both to extricate herself from Asuka's grip and keep pace with the girl. Finally, though, Asuka released her and gestured at Shinji.
"I need you to take Shinji up to the classroom."
Rei spared Shinji a barren look, and then returned her gaze to Asuka. "You are capable of performing this task, Sohryu."
"Wrong again, Wondergirl," Asuka said. "If you don't already know, the principal kicked me out of school. I'm not allowed on campus. That's why Shinji needs you." Asuka gestured between Rei and Shinji as if trying to physically shape her point from the air.
"He does not need my help, nor do I offer it."
Asuka blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Ayanami, I..." Shinji began.
"Goodbye," Rei interjected. She turned on them and left.
Asuka sputtered for a few moments before managing, "That bitch." She looked at Shinji. "Well, it looks like I'm going to have to go anyway."
"That's fine with me," Shinji said. He gave his companion a faint smile.
Asuka twined her fingers through his, and prepared to lead Shinji onto school grounds. She stopped, however, when someone tapped firmly on her shoulder.
"Not so fast," Toji said.
Asuka and Shinji turned around, and Unit 2's pilot couldn't help but smirk. "Good timing, Suzuhara," she said. "I knew you were useful for something."
"Ha ha," Toji deadpanned. Then he shrugged and laughed. "I'm more useful than Rei, it seems. She's been acting weird ever since you two got hurt."
"She was strange long before that, dimwit. Anyway, here you go." Asuka handed Shinji over to Toji. "See you later, Third Child."
"Bye, Asuka," he replied glumly.
"Don't worry, Asuka! I'll take good care of Shinji so he's still in shape to perform his marital duty when he gets home," Toji said, a sly smile stretching his mouth.
Shinji's face blossomed red and he began to stammer, while Asuka rolled her eyes and wished for the strength to be patient. "If I weren't a lady, Stooge, I'd tell you exactly what to do with that comment."
* * *
Kaji pressed the doorbell. Its drone sounded faintly within the apartment, and he tapped out an impatient tune on his forearm as he waited yet again for someone to respond. Nothing happened, though.
Kaji sighed and gave the door a quick thump. Misato wasn't home. Not even she could sleep through five minutes of liberal doorbell use.
This turn of events presented Kaji with something of a problem. If Misato was on shift at NERV, there was no telling when she might finally get home, and the information he possessed was not the kind one should sit on. But of all the courses of action he could pursue, seeking her out at NERV was the least wise. Nothing he spoke in that place could be trusted to remain secret for long. Ikari's spies were many and varied. Plus, Kaji couldn't believe that after disappearing he would be allowed to walk through NERV unhindered till he gave a full account of himself to the Commander, and until his information reached Misato, facing Ikari was something Kaji wished to avoid at all costs.
However, there might be a way of discreetly getting in touch with Misato.
Kaji grinned and fished a swiss army knife from his pocket. He glanced each way, confirming that none of the apartments' few other denizens were about and slipped the knife blade into the lock. A few moments of deft twisting and turning resulted in an audible click.
"Perfect," he congratulated himself. "Good to see I haven't lost my touch. Not that I've been sneaking into the girls' dorms for ages now, but a handy skill is still a handy skill."
Kaji opened to the door to the apartment and slipped inside. Now, if he could just contact Asuka or Shinji at school, he should be able to arrange a meeting with Misato through one of them. It was still risky, the school and the children were both monitored, but better than simply taking a nap and waiting for Misato to get home.
* * *
"Why did you refuse him?"
Rei Ayanami shifted in her seat and turned away from the small girl who stood in the aisle next to her school desk. Instead, she focused her attention on the window; Rei enjoyed the way the sunlight caused little rainbow sprinkles to flare along the glass.
Past the glass, Rei watched the sky try to contain a fleet of dense clouds. It couldn't though. The clouds refused to be barricaded over the school, and instead sliced neatly through the air like pirate cutters sailing toward prey. She envied the clouds their spirit. They would not be dominated. Instead, Rei marveled as the clouds seemingly shook their collective fist, and plowed forward to their coveted destination.
But the clouds lacked wisdom, Rei considered. While they would push forever onward, trying to achieve their goal, they still held the grayish tint of a coming storm and would eventually succumb to nature's power. Why struggle? Rei thought it much wiser to simply accept fate. Cloud or person, you could not change your fundamental makeup. Those clouds were meant for rain; they could never float happily under the sun.
"You haven't answered me."
"That is because I am trying to ignore you," Rei replied. She continued to watch the clouds.
"Is this the path you really desire?" The child's firm tone slapped at Rei's ears, trying with all their might to sneak past her defenses and worm their way inside. "Do you wish to be nothing more than the doll you spoke of? Is death such a wonderful end?"
"Yes," Rei said. The clouds had all passed, and were moving steadily off into the horizon. Rei thought she heard a faint rumble on the wind. "I can think of no other reason for such an existence as mine. I was made to serve a purpose, and then will die."
"You would gladly throw everything that is your life away? You sacrifice it for no other reason than this artificial function Ikari has warped your thoughts with."
"My mind is clear," Rei told the girl. "I have considered this long before you arrived. And yes, I would give it up to be free. I have no such 'life,' as you speak of it."
"Fool," the child spat. "You have more than you think. Even if you can't yet grasp it, the potential is there."
Rei spun from the window as the thunder cracked earnestly in the distance. "Lies. Lies. Lies! I tried," she accused the child. "I tried and nothing you said made a difference."
"You made a paltry attempt," the child sneered. "Friendship is forged, love is wrought! They are not dropped in your lap. But you are so weak you can't take the first step!"
"I am strong enough to know my limits!"
"Miss Ayanami!" the teacher shouted. She froze and found the eyes of the entire classroom upon her. Even Shinji's sightless gaze seemed fixed on her in a mockery of every other dubious, scared, disgusted, or outright confused expression offered by the class. "I don't care if you wish to whittle away my every lesson by staring out the window and learning nothing, but you WILL NOT disrupt it for others. Is that clear?"
Rei began to shake under the assault of attention. Her teeth rebounded off one another and her limbs jumped of their own volition. She was not equipped to deal with such a spectacle. Not with herself as the center of the storm. So, Rei did the only thing instinct told her: she ran.
Rei abandoned her desk, and plowed through the aisle. The teacher tried to stop her flight, but she pushed him aside and escaped through the door.
The class broke into a huge clamor as students poured theory and astonishment out to one another. The noise continued to climb until Hikari rose to her feet and slammed a textbook against her desktop. The children froze as their class representative leveled them with her best glare.
"Be quiet, so the lesson can continue," Hikari ordered them. "I don't want to hear any gossip about Ayanami for the rest of the day. Got it?"
The class nodded collectively.
"Good," Hikari said, and then returned to her seat. Her expression darkened as she settled in.
Back at Rei's desk, the child idled. She gazed at the storm clouds in the distance, and then shook her head and turned away. "So weak," she muttered. "Perhaps there is no hope."
Over the school, the sun still shined.
* * *
Asuka gaped upon her return to the apartment. The living room was clean. All the litter, the dirty laundry, and the dishes were gone. Even the stench of old beer and instant noodles no longer invaded her nostrils. The apartment hadn't been this livable since before Shinji lost his sight.
The thought put Asuka on guard. Shinji didn't do this and Misato was at work. She glanced down and saw the pair of scuffed leather shoes sitting just inside the door. Someone else was here.
Asuka painstakingly slipped off her shoes, all to aware that she may have already made too much noise coming in the front door. She looked around, but didn't see anything she could use as a weapon. Well, that cinched it then. She would have to improvise.
Asuka inched into the living room, and forced herself to analyze the situation rationally. What kind of intruder would clean the apartment? And why would he (those were most definitely men's shoes) bother taking his shoes off? Following social niceties made no sense while you perpetrated a crime.
Perhaps the intruder wanted something? But what? Was cleaning the apartment some kind of barter? If that were true, it would imply that it was someone they knew. Or at least someone Misato knew. Oh wait...
Asuka spun toward Misato's bedroom just as Kaji slid the door open. "Hi there, Asuka," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I thought I heard someone come in. You'll excuse the intrusion, won't you? But after my trip and then the housework, a good nap was the order of the day."
Asuka promptly sat on the couch. "What are you doing here?"
Kaji gave her a winning smile despite Asuka's stony tone. "Not happy to see me?" he teased.
"No."
Kaji frowned, found himself a cushion, and sat opposite the couch. He tried to coax Asuka into speaking, but she purposely avoided eye contact. Finally he said, "Shouldn't you be in school?"
"Nope. Got kicked out for fighting." Asuka decided now was an appropriate time to admire the ceiling.
"Ah." Kaji mustered another smile. "I always knew you'd achieve that ambition someday." Asuka didn't twitch. Her face remained in a cold, neutral set. "What's the matter?"
"I thought I'd be able to take a shower when I got home, but now I'm stuck entertaining."
"Bull," Kaji told her. "We've known each other for years, Asuka. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes. You're angry."
"Good call, master detective," Asuka replied derisively. "And our association is over. If you're looking for Misato, she's at work. So why don't you just return to sniffing her undergarments till she gets home and can give you a good fuck?"
Understanding lit Kaji's eyes. "So, that's what this is about. Asuka, I thought you understood that it wouldn't work between us. No matter what you might think, it's just not..."
Asuka launched herself from the couch and slapped Kaji so hard he landed on his back. He stared up at Asuka, who's seething face just begged for an excuse to let loose again.
"I'm not interested in being trapped in the kind of disgusting relationship you have with Misato. I know you chose her. But I at least thought you gave a damn about me, and that our time together counted for something!"
"Asuka," Kaji said while gingerly rubbing his cheek. "I'm still your friend. Nothing's changed."
"Oh, please." Asuka graced Kaji with a disdainful glare. "I'm not naïve enough to buy into your crap. Friends, Mr. Kaji, care about one another. They're concerned for you if you're hurt. They don't disappear. They don't screw off, leaving you alone and in pain. At least that's what I've always been lead to believe."
"I had to leave, Asuka. Things needed looking into. Misato was here to attend to you and Shinji."
"And how well that worked out," Asuka sneered. "Misato's so concerned with Shinji stubbing his toe now, I bet she wouldn't even remember to spread her legs if you showed up stark naked!" Asuka spun and thrust a fist into the couch. She remained hunched over the furniture for long moments, until she finally sank to her knees and rested her head on the cushions. When Asuka spoke again, her voice was frail and cold. "I'm nothing to her, just a tool for coddling Shinji or killing angels. I think Hikari's my only friend. Well, Shinji too, I guess. That's not saying much, though. Two friends - pretty pathetic, huh?"
Asuka hated herself for the wetness she could feel tumbling down her cheeks. She had to be strong. If she wasn't, Asuka knew she would never defeat the darkness, put Misato and Kaji in their place, and help Shinji. Crying was the escape of those unable to face life head on.
"I'm not going to argue with you, Asuka," Kaji finally said. "Misato and I will just have to prove you wrong. In the meantime, though, I need you to call Misato and arrange a lunch date."
Again, the anger welled within Asuka like a spring ready to erupt. "I told you I didn't want to be a part of..."
"I have information regarding your attack for Misato," Kaji interrupted. "And I'm sorry, but this can't wait for bruised egos, hurt feelings, or perceived slights. Enough time's already been wasted. When I came up with this plan, I forgot that your cell phones would be monitored by NERV."
Asuka turned slowly, making sure all her tears had been wiped away, and faced Kaji. "Information?" she asked.
"Yes."
"What kind?" Asuka demanded.
"The kind that shows it wasn't an accident."
Asuka's jaw clenched and she ran her fingers over her slung arm. Someone had to done this to her on purpose? Shinji faced that pitch everyday because someone wanted it? The maelstrom of anger within Asuka's heart suddenly forgot about Kaji and Misato's betrayal and yearned for a new target to rend and tear.
"All right," Asuka told Kaji. "I'll call Misato. But I'm coming with you."
"If that's what it takes."
* * *
The inquisition had begun. The committee surveyed Gendo Ikari with baleful eyes. They did not like being tricked or lied to. Betrayal was a paramount sin in their operation. Any deviance from the schedule could cause untold disaster.
"What are you planning, Ikari?" Yellow demanded.
"Your lies and subterfuge will not help you now," Blue informed the commander.
"We know the truth of the situation," Red confirmed.
Gendo Ikari waited patiently for the old men to conclude their attempt at shock tactics. They couldn't overwhelm him with information he thought was secret. He would not panic. Sometimes knowledge was leaked. That was the nature of secrets. One simply had to adapt to the new landscape.
"Could you be more specific?" Ikari asked.
"Indeed," Fuyutsuki added. "One can have many goals in the span of a single day. In fact, I have ambitions regarding a cup of tea when this meeting is over."
"Do not mock us," Yellow screeched. His affronted tone carried for long moments in the empty room.
"What are you plans regarding the Evangelion Pilots, Ikari?" White's voice, aged as it was, rose above the others and mandated their obedience.
"I plan to use them to defeat the angels," Gendo resolutely stated.
"A very nice recitation of the party line," Blue commented. "But we are not convinced."
"How does intentionally blinding the Third Child serve our purpose?" White asked.
"It does not," Gendo answered immediately. He would not give them the satisfaction of hesitation. They would see that as a confirmation of their suspicions. "The Third Child's blindness is, as I have reported, a result of an accident during a practice sortie. Dr. Akagi assures me, however, that he is making rapid progress and will regain his vision within the week."
"We know that is a lie," Green informed the commander.
"Perhaps if you told us what you believe the truth to be, we could better tailor our answers to your expectations," Fuyutsuki said.
"Enough," White interjected. "It is clear that you are unwilling to part yourself from your lies. We will discover the truth on our own. You will rue the day your usefulness to us expires, Ikari."
The committee members grunted their approval of White's innuendo, and then blinked out of existence.
"The game's afoot," Fuyutsuki said.
"Indeed," Gendo agreed. "It would seem the situation is playing out as we were told. This should prove quite interesting."
* * *
Misato chose to take her anger out on her beer, which she chugged with violent force in the small corner booth of the pub. Asuka was slightly more low-key, if not less demonstrative; her face corkscrewed itself into the most enraged expression Kaji had ever seen, and she clenched and unclenched her fist as if fighting to keep from striking till the most suitable target presented itself.
Kaji and Asuka had met Misato near the apartment, and Kaji took them to lunch at a lovely little pub he knew of. The aroma of freshly grilled fish, teriyaki, and hot sake mingled near the entrance and was almost enough to distract Asuka from her alarming curiosity.
Kaji had shuffled them indoors, and refused to divulge any of his secrets till they were seated and served. Asuka wondered if it was supposed to have helped lessen the blow. If that had been Kaji's intent, he failed miserably.
Once they were eating, Kaji collected his courage and told them everything. The attack, Germany, Ilse Adler, Azuma Matsushita, Commander Ikari, Ritsuko: he illustrated the thread that connected them all, noting what was hard fact and what was an educated guess. Despite the missing evidence and motivation, the scenario sounded all too plausible for Misato and Asuka to deny.
"That settles it," Asuka growled, "I'm going to jump in my Unit-2 and squeeze Commander Ikari's head off. It'll go pop, just like a grape from the vine."
Misato slammed her stein onto the table and wiped a liberal swath of foam from her mouth. While Asuka was barely suppressed rage, Misato radiated a grim deadliness that was equally unnerving. "That'd cause too much racket, Asuka," Misato said. "How about I just shoot him?"
"I still think ripping his head off would hurt more."
"That just depends on where I shoot him first," Misato said with a sickly saccharine smile.
"Ladies, ladies," Kaji interrupted. "Neither of you should rush off half-cocked. Ikari isn't stupid and he's well versed in dealing with enemies. I wouldn't give either of you a chance."
"What the hell do you expect us to do then, Kaji?" Misato asked him. Her voice was harsh and taught. Kaji's news seemed like it might be the stress that would finally break her.
"I don't want you to do anything more than you've been doing."
Both women glared indignantly at Kaji and offered a barrage of protests. Some of the other patrons barked nasty comments about having their meals disrupted because of the noise. Kaji smiled and indulged in some fast-talking that sent the offended parties back to their tables mollified.
"Would the two of you tone it down? I was hoping we could keep this inconspicuous."
"I'm not going to sit on my ass and ignore this," Asuka told him. She pointed at her wounded shoulder. "Did you see what he's done to me?"
"I know what happened to both you and Shinji, Asuka. And I maintain that if either of you try something you'll end up dead. And as much as I hate to admit it," Kaji said, "Gendo Ikari may be the best candidate to lead humanity out of the angel war victorious. What we have to do is keep and eye out for his extracurricular activities."
Misato slouched in the bench and idly played with her chopsticks. "He has a point," she pouted. "We do have to consider the bigger picture, Asuka."
"So, we're not going to do anything at all? I can't believe this!"
"Shh, Asuka," Kaji hushed her. "I didn't say that we weren't going to do anything. I said that we were going to keep an eye out for his side projects, and this most definitely is one of them."
"So?" Asuka said, clearly still unhappy with the direction of the conversation.
"So," Kaji began, "Misato said that Ritsuko prescribed an experimental medication for Shinji, right?"
Misato slapped her forehead. "Of course. How could I be so stupid?"
Asuka's eyes widened in comprehension and horror. "You mean that stuff is what's hurting him? But I just gave Shinji an injection this morning!"
"You didn't know then, Asuka," Kaji said. His eyes and expression were sincerely apologetic. "You did what you thought was best for him. As a friend should, like you told me this morning."
Asuka grunted an acknowledgment, but did not seem at all soothed by Kaji's words. If the medication really was hurting Shinji, then she was an accessory to his pain, to keeping him locked in the dark. Asuka thought she would be able to simply help him smash through the weakness and terror, not help perpetuate it. She wanted to help him win!
But what if she didn't win? What if Shinji was swallowed forever by the darkness? Asuka suddenly saw the ghostly Rei in her mind's eye, laughing and jeering at her failure. Asuka wanted to run away, but Rei simply gestured and the shadows bound themselves to her. They seemed to melt through Asuka's clothing, mold against her body, and then seep through her pores and into her soul. One shadow remained on the outside and grabbed Asuka around the neck. She clawed frantically at it, trying to rip herself free, but the shadow wouldn't budge. It hauled her violently upward; Asuka soared into the sky and the shadow tightened, crushing her throat until finally...
Misato put her arms around Asuka and held her. Asuka started and realized that they were still in the booth at the pub. There was no omnipresent darkness, no spectral Rei. It hadn't won over her yet. She still had a chance to save Shinji - and herself.
"It's all right, Asuka," Misato gently told the girl. "We'll get through this, we'll help each other." She titled Asuka's stricken face so that she could look into her eyes. "It's what families do."
For once, Asuka couldn't unleash a snipe. Misato had betrayed and dismissed her. She knew that Misato only really cared for Shinji, and that this was all just a ploy to get her to keep helping him. And yet, Asuka couldn't deny the sincerity, comfort, and warmth in Misato's eyes. It felt wonderful to be looked at like that.
The memory of her mother's eyes flashed in Asuka's mind. She slowly nodded and said, "All right."
"Good," Kaji said. "Now, I'd like to get a sample of the medication Shinji's been taking. I have a friend who should be able to analyze it and tell us if it's really what Ritsuko says."
"I still have the bottle in my purse from this morning," Asuka said shakily. She fumbled opening her bag, then steadied herself, and pulled out a small glass bottle. "Here you go," she said, handing the bottle to Kaji, which he quickly pocketed.
"This is the first step, ladies. The first step to fighting back."
* * *
Another school day ended. For most, it was a daily routine of long suffering capped by an eruption of jubilation. Shinji Ikari had once belonged to those happy masses; he had once enjoyed the celebration of another walk home. Today was different, however. The end of this school day still called for celebration, but of another sort.
Toji slapped Shinji heartily on the back. "See, Shinji? You didn't have any problems. What'd I tell you?" The boy grinned satisfactorily while Shinji buckled beneath his friendly assault.
"Yeah," Kensuke added, while perching himself atop a desk. "You get around pretty well for a man who can't see."
A voracious glint took Toji's eyes. "You know what, Shinji? The way you use your hands to make sure you're not going to bump into anything, it'd be perfect for getting around the girls' gym class. You've got an infallible excuse should any 'accidents' occur."
Kensuke nodded sagely. "You're one lucky dog, my friend."
Shinji couldn't repress a smile as the sound of rolled magazine striking flesh suddenly resounded through the classroom. Toji and Kensuke's cries and pleas for mercy added to the cacophony, but were familiar and comfortable. Shinji felt oddly at ease.
"Ow! Come on, please stop, Hikari!" Toji begged.
"We were only trying to show our friend how to make the best of a bad situation," Kensuke complained.
Hikari held back another strike as the two boys cowered before her. "You two were being disgusting and perverted. I'm ashamed to associate with you."
Shinji heard another swat land and Toji mutter a muted 'ow.' He would never learn, would he? All Toji had to do was clean up his act, and he could have a perfectly lovely girl all to himself. Instead, he continued to lean toward his lecherous inclinations. Sometimes Shinji thought he could understand why Asuka lamented about Hikari's taste for hours at end.
"I hope they're not bothering you with their stupidity, Shinji," Hikari said.
Shinji shook his head, and was amazed to find he was still smiling. "No, it's all right, Hikari. Actually, this reminds me of old times. I can imagine the expressions on all your faces. It's nice."
"Well, I leave them to you then. At least I know you're decent." Hikari favored Toji with another disapproving glare. "I have to go find Rei. Any thoughts on where I should look?"
Shinji shrugged. "Her apartment, maybe? NERV? I don't think she really goes anywhere else."
"Can you give me her address then?"
"Sure," Shinji said, and started to recite the information for Hikari.
* * *
Rei huddled in the corner of her apartment. Last night had shown her that the bed was useless; the pillows, sheets, and blankets offered no protection. The little girl could tear through them like nothing more than cotton balls. School was not a refuge either. The child had easily slipped into the classroom to continue her assault.
Rei had tried to flee to NERV to seek Commander Ikari's advice. Surely he would know how to get rid of this pest? But the girl had not given her the opportunity to ask. Instead, she pursued Rei, and appeared in every alley, every street to block her way.
Rei's inability to escape had sent her into a panic. She ran through the streets, pushing past the lunch crowds and knocking mothers and their small children aside. Still, the girl did not relent. Rei had tried begging those same pedestrians for help, but they had hurried away. None wanted to get involved with a schoolgirl who's distressed ravings revolved around a nearby swathe of air. These kinds of things were best left to family.
And so Rei found herself back in her apartment, having been herded like a cow to a slaughterhouse. The girl's eyes dug into her back. Rei could feel their heat crawling across her skin. Her glare stirred something in Rei; she suddenly knew, one way or another, this was to be it.
"You have no strength of heart, do you?" the child questioned her. "You would rather cower in a corner than reach for your dream."
"I dream only of being rid of you."
The child smiled derisively, and spoke to Rei as if their ages were reversed. "Then it is as I said. You admit that you've given up." Loose pieces of plaster crunched beneath the girl's feet as she closed upon Rei. "You embrace your weakness and call it destiny. You wield self-doubt like it was a great sword. Dreams, thoughts, desires for something better: none are spared. You butcher them all without remorse."
"You do not understand," Rei pleaded.
"I do understand."
The child was on her now, and Rei packed herself as tightly into the corner as possible. It seemed as if she was trying to force herself through the wall.
"I understand how fully you've given yourself to Ikari's lies and what that means for you." The girl leaned over Rei, and her every exhalation caused goose bumps to rise up on Rei's neck. "The last warmth in your heart will die," she said, "and you will become his perfect doll. You will never know friendship, you will never know family, and you will never know love. You will spend your entire existence in this room, your cupboard, only to be taken out when he wills it."
"I am not capable..." Rei stuttered, but the girl ignored her and plowed on.
"Life will pass you by, while the others around you revel in it. Possibility will bloom." The child's tone began to rise and become agitated. "Perhaps Ikari and Sohryu will become lovers. Fate may connect their hearts and they will share themselves with one another. And while they are pressed together, enjoying the heat and comfort of the other's body, you, Rei, will wallow in this dirt and filth, frozen and alone, till your coveted death takes you!"
Rei spun around and shoved the child away from her. "Yes!" she screamed. "And I will be free!"
"You will be lost!" the girl roared back, thrusting herself at Rei again. "Death will take your last chance, and you will have wasted your life and soul on everything unimportant!"
"I do not have a soul!"
"Evidently!" the girl sneered. "As you've done a wonderful job killing it!"
Kill. The word stuck in Rei's ear. It had a pleasant sound to it. The word was simple and vivacious. It had a smart tenacity. It knew what had to be done to save her.
Kill.
Rei lashed out and her hands struck smooth flesh. A feral smile split Rei's face as she adjusted her fingers around the girl's neck. The flawless, warm skin blotched and bunched in places, and then tried to push its way up between Rei's fingers.
Rei enjoyed the way the girl's eyes began to slowly bulge. They had plagued her for much too long. Seeing them swell and the veins burn a brilliant red made her feel giddy. Those eyes might just burst if she only squeezed a little harder.
The girl tried to suck in a shabby breath, but Rei contracted her grip. She felt a virile strength surge through her fingers, and it spurred her forward. Tighter! Tighter! Rei ground her fingertips into the girl's flesh, and her nails tore it aside. Warm blood flowed from the wounds and over her hands. It tumbled to the floor and settled in a happy puddle.
The girl's attempts to breath lessened, and her movements subsided. Her distended eyes twitched and then the pupils rolled out of view, leaving only milky seas shot with burning rivers.
Suddenly, the intensity that earlier radiated from Rei's gaze was gone, as was the wild ecstasy of her expression. She now examined the girl like a clinician studied a slide. She continued to throttle the child, but it was with a cold, ordered strength.
This was the way, Rei noted. This was what the Commander would have done.
"Rei."
The soft voice grabbed Rei's attention, and she swiveled her gaze away from the child, but did not let her grip lapse. She considered Hikari's presence before slightly titling her head and saying, "Miss Horaki."
Hikari tentatively approached Rei. She stepped past the discarded bandages, loose pieces of trash, and construction detritus that littered the apartment floor, and settled into a crouch next to her classmate. "What are you doing, Rei?" she asked. "You look like you're trying to hurt someone."
Rei nodded. "I must kill her," she dispassionately stated.
Hikari eyes flicked from Rei's face to her hands. The tendons stood out and her forearms were rigidly tensed. But Rei held nothing. She was trying to injure something that wasn't there.
"Why do you have to kill her, Rei?"
"She tells me lies to interfere with my purpose. I cannot allow that."
"What lies does she tell you?" Hikari asked.
Rei's stoic expression faltered for a moment. "She - she says I can be like the others."
"What others, Rei? The other Eva pilots?"
Rei shook her head. "No. Not just them. Humans."
"You don't think you can be human?" Hikari's tone was quizzical.
"I am not human."
"Why not?" Hikari challenged.
"Because I do not have a soul," Rei said.
Hikari smiled softly and laid her hand upon Rei's shoulder. "Now, I know that's not true. You most certainly do have a soul, Rei. Do you think I would be concerned for you, that I would come to see how you were, if you were some soulless creature?"
Rei's mouth fell into a frown. Her fingers loosened. "But she said that if I tried, Ikari would be my friend. I did try, but he ignored me. He would only speak to Sohryu. He can tell there is nothing in me. That is how I know she lied."
Hikari shook her head and her pigtails swung as if beating Rei's words back. "Shinji's hard to get through to, Rei. Especially now, with his injury, he has even less self-confidence than he did before. He doesn't think he's worthy of being someone's friend. I can help you if you like. I'm not a great friend of Shinji's either, but if we work together, I'm sure we can both become better friends with him."
Rei's grip faltered. "But - but I cannot be like you. I am a copy."
Hikari cupped Rei's cheek and drew her schoolmate's eyes directly to her own. "Aren't we all? We can't help who our parents are, Rei. We can only do our best with what they've given us." Hikari smiled brightly. "The eyes are the windows to the soul, you know. I see great potential in yours. That's why I want to be your friend, Rei."
"You - you can see - but I cannot. It is - it is not possible." Rei fingers slipped and her hands hung only loosely about the girl's neck. Her voice began to tremble uncontrollably. "You want to be my friend?"
Rei's eyes suddenly flooded with desperation and need. Some might have backed away, frightened by the intensity of the emotion in her look; those people spoke of friendship, but were unwilling to commit to it when it was inconvenient. Hikari did not flinch. She met Rei's eyes and sent all the warmth and encouragement she could muster through her own.
"I sincerely do, Rei."
Rei's hands fell away from the girl, and she turned fully to Hikari. Her breath hitched, and Rei felt a sudden wetness sprinkle her cheeks. When she moved to touch the tears in wonderment, Rei noticed the girl's blood no longer stained her hands.
"You see, Rei?" Hikari said. "Anyone who didn't have a beautiful soul couldn't cry in happiness. You are."
Rei nodded very slightly, and then buried her face in Hikari's shoulder as she was encircled in a compassionate embrace.
* * *
"What the hell did you bring me, Kaji?"
Kaji instantly raised his head and rolled off the counter he had commandeered as a makeshift bed. He tipped some beakers in his haste, causing them to spin precariously close to following him over the edge.
"Do you have something?" he asked, dodging various tables and large machinery till he arrived at a healthy-sized lab bench.
Dr. Yume Himeno snorted and further adjusted her microscope. "You certainly do," she said.
Kaji waited for the woman to expound, but enjoyed only her continued muttering as she fiddled with the various knobs of her microscope. It had been like this ever since he had met Yume. Unlike Ritsuko, who would intentionally freeze you out while at work, Yume dedicated herself so intensely to the task at hand that she often wasn't aware you were present.
Kaji decided to make a point of his presence. If she knew something, he didn't want to wait to find out.
He gently took Yume by the head and pulled her away from the microscope.
"Hey!" Yume protested, but it was too late. Kaji spun her stool around, and Yume was looking directly at him.
"Hi there, cutie," Kaji said with a glib lilt to his voice. "Would you mind sharing what's so interesting?"
Yume pushed her overlong bangs away from her eyes, and began to fidget with her hair. "What was it you said this stuff was again?"
"Medication. What is it really?"
"I can't be sure. It's not quite my field," Yume admitted. She gave her hair a frustrated twist.
"I trust you, Yume," Kaji said. "Your guess is good enough for me."
"I'd say it's a biological weapon, for lack of a better term."
Kaji tensed. "A weapon? How dangerous is it?"
Yume shrugged. "That depends on your definition of danger, I guess. It appears to be a modified neurotoxin. Essentially, snake venom with a few alterations and upgrades. Snakes spit this stuff on their prey and it blinds them, making for an easier catch. Your batch's been toned down some. It's designed to find and paralyze the optic nerve, probably for a specified period of time. After that, I suspect you'd need another dose to maintain the effect."
"What would prolonged exposure do to the recipient?" Kaji demanded.
"A good three to four doses of this stuff should shut your eyes down permanently."
"That's it?" Kaji exclaimed. Asuka had given Shinji another dose this morning. How many had that been?
Yume looked seriously at Kaji. "As far as I can tell, yes. That's it," she reiterated. "You can add padding to the bat, Kaji, but sooner or later a swing will still break your leg."
* * *
SEELE gathered and listened. Their operatives were about to report.
A loudspeaker crackled, and then, "We've eliminated the NERV agents and pinpointed the location of the First Child. There is another student with her."
"One of the Evangelion pilots?" White asked.
"Negative," the loudspeaker spat. "She appears to be a civilian. Orders?"
"Proceed with your mission. Take the First Child."
"Confirmed." The loudspeaker fell into silence.
"If Ikari wishes to play games," White said, "then we, my friends, must make sure the dice roll in our favor."
[End Part Seven]
Author's Notes: Criticism is always welcome. I can be contacted at Ziggymd24@yahoo.com.
Rei exited the bathroom. Water shed from her damp skin and fell onto the patchy carpet, settling down among its fibers and preparing to add to the beginnings of mold that was showing at its edges. The carpet's fusty odor followed Rei to a dresser where she picked up a towel in need of laundering. She gathered the towel into a square and began to pat herself dry.
"You can't wash me away," the child said, watching Rei from atop her bed.
"I did not intend to," Rei answered. She continued to move the towel over her body, and refused to turn toward the girl.
"Ignoring me won't help you either. I won't leave until you understand."
Rei dropped the towel atop the dresser and slid a drawer open. She retrieved panties and a bra. As Rei began to dress herself, she said, "I do not care if you think you are helping me, I will not abide your lies. What you seek does not exist, and in its absence you conjure these myths to torment me." Rei hugged herself. "I do not like them. They are unsettling. They cloud my purpose."
"Do you need further evidence that I'm not lying?" the girl asked. Her eyes were alight with vigor. "Your purpose should be the same as any other human's: to live. It's what your emotions are trying to tell you, what I'm trying to tell you - if only you'd listen."
Rei's fingers fumbled through buttoning her blouse. "You are mistaken," she said stiffly.
"How am I mistaken?"
"Because I am not human!" Rei fell to her knees and pressed her face to the dresser's cheap plastic finish. Like tiny streams, tears slipped and branched across its smooth surface. "I am not," she stressed. "I am a facsimile, a creation! What you prod inside me may seem natural, but it is not truly. It is an echo, a shadow; it is false!" Rei curled in upon herself, pushing her face behind a taut bundle of arms and legs. "Birth gives one a soul, makes one unique. I was copied. I can be replaced."
The child remained silent and let Rei cry. She never considered Rei had given the matter careful thought. It had always seemed to her that Rei's demeanor was a product of acculturation. Commander Ikari taught her to obey without question and nothing else. But her protests showed Rei had her own reasons for her cold attitude.
"You are not as naïve as you led me to believe," the child finally said.
"No," Rei answered, fighting to keep her voice from breaking. "I hoped you might show me something that I could not find myself. But Ikari has shown me the truth of my beliefs. I was right to distance myself from the others. They would realize, as Sohryu says, that I am a doll. It was foolish to long for something else," she bitterly concluded.
"Aspiration is not foolish. Belief is not foolish. They are the progenitors of change."
Rei uncurled and glowered at the child. "A spark cannot become a star, not matter how much faith one musters. Now, leave me be! Commander Ikari has given this empty existence purpose, and I will fulfill it. Then I will die and finally be free."
"He wraps your heart in lies and wants it cold and dead. You aid him with your doggedly narrow interpretation of life." The girl looked sadly upon Rei. "Poor child."
"From All Corners They Cried"
An Evangelion Fanfic
By Dave Ziegler
Part Seven: 'Eight Days Hence/Reclamation'
Shinji Ikari had finally gotten used to dressing himself. As embarrassing as it was, Misato initially had to help him choose and put on his clothes. Then, around the breakfast table, Asuka would amply needle him about missing buttons or open zippers. Her barbs hadn't always been true, but they were enough to make Shinji paranoid. He wouldn't suffer through that anymore, though. Shinji was now confident he could get it right.
He stepped to leave his bedroom, and then stopped. Shinji quickly ran his hands over his shirt and pants, mentally ticking off each button, snap, and zipper as his fingertips passed over it. Double-checking never hurt.
Satisfied that his clothes were as they should be, Shinji left his room and moved along the hallway toward the kitchen. He stepped to the right, and reached out to touch the small end table. Asuka was right. Just like making breakfast, moving around the apartment was a matter of routine. Shinji could navigate easily if he relied on his memory.
Shinji was feeling pretty good about his success when he stepped on a discarded beer can and tumbled wildly. He threw his hands out and quickly braced himself against the walls.
"Well, it would be easy if the apartment were clean," Shinji groused.
He fumbled at his feet for a few moments, and then finally grasped the beer can. Prudence required he get rid of an obstacle while he could find it, instead of leaving it as a hazard for later. Asuka would be disappointed in him if he left himself vulnerable when he could easily prevent it.
That thought carried Shinji into the kitchen, where he pushed the can into the recycling bin.
"Good morning, Third Child," Asuka greeted. "What's for breakfast?"
Shinji started, and then slowly turned around. He focused, recollecting the volume and direction of the voice, and then pointed himself toward it. The morass of black and gray shapes did little to confirm who it was, so he asked, "Asuka?"
"Why do you keep asking that?" Asuka wondered. "You did the same thing last night. Is another girl hanging around the apartment that I don't know about? Or do you just keep hoping that Ayanami's going to answer?"
"That's not it," Shinji said hurriedly. "I'd much rather talk to you. I just - you know - I want to make sure, Asuka. It's hard doing everything by sound. I listened to people speak before, but their voice usually took a backseat to their face. I'm sorry," he concluded.
"Don't apologize. I imagine it is difficult." Asuka rose and took a small red-cross bag off the kitchen table. "We'd better give you your second injection before you start making breakfast." She frowned slightly. "Dr. Akagi shouldn't have started you mid-week; it would have made keeping track a lot easier. I almost forgot you were due."
"It's all right," Shinji said. "I'm anxious to take as many as possible. If there's any chance it could work..." He trailed off, not daring to utter such a wish lest life quickly kill it. But if his hope was true and Mother's edict wrong, he wasn't doomed. He might still have a chance at life.
Shinji focused on the slowly undulating darkness he supposed was Asuka and felt his sudden hope fade.
"What's the matter?"
"Huh?" Shinji said.
"What's the matter?" Asuka repeated. "You look like someone just stomped on your cello." She leaned back against the table and waited for his reply. "Well?"
Shinji shifted uncomfortably. "It's - I - I wish I could see your face," he blurted. He waited for the explosion he knew was coming. Pervert, lech, sicko, she would batter him. Her derision and distaste would cut him quickly and deeply. Shinji knew its lash well.
However, Asuka only sighed. "I'm going to do something many would find revolting. Come here," she ordered.
"I can only vaguely tell where you are. I can't..."
"Can it, Shinji!" Asuka snarled. "I don't want to hear excuses, laments, or self-pity. It's time to act. You're perfectly capable of walking. You made it all the way in here. So, take a few more steps and COME TO ME!"
Asuka's vehemence jarred Shinji into motion. He took four sharp steps and was on the verge of another when Asuka stopped him.
"Very good," she congratulated. Asuka set the red-cross bag back upon the table and took Shinji's hand in hers. "You want to see my face? Here's your chance." Asuka cupped her hand around the back of his and settled his fingertips against her cheek.
Shinji gasped as her flesh warmed his fingers. He began to shake, but Asuka gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry," she told him. "I'm not going to hold this against you. Use your fingers, feel my face, and then etch a picture of it in your mind to replace the darkness."
Shinji took a full breath and managed to steady his nerves. He moved slowly at first, and hesitantly cupped her cheek. But when Asuka did not retaliate, when she did not protest, Shinji became more confident and bold. He caressed her cheek, and luxuriated in the soft thrilling sensations that raced through his palm. His fingers wandered up behind her hair and traced her ear, dipping and curling with its many bends and turns.
He brought his other hand up to her face, and drew his index finger along the gentle slope of her nose. Shinji felt a faint, warm exhalation as that same finger ever so gingerly slipped down over her lips. He shivered at their touch and the hungry, moist promises they had yet to share.
Both hands came down and curled about Asuka's chin. Then Shinji lightly dragged his fingertips all the way up her face, taking in a thousand little impressions of her lips, nose, cheeks, eyelids, and forehead. He curled his fingers back through her hair, till finally, painfully, they fell away.
Shinji exhaled slowly.
"Can you see my face now?" Asuka whispered.
"Yes," Shinji gasped, as tears began to softly roll down his cheeks. "I can."
* * *
Kozo Fuyutsuki had never been enamored of his superior's office. It was simply too melodramatic for the old professor's tastes. The cavernous size, the engravings, the oppressively Spartan styling: one could only take the need for intimidation so far before it became overtly ridiculous and disregarded practicality.
Fuyutsuki would have preferred something akin to his old office back at the university. Sure, it had been in disarray; books, journals, and papers had lain in wayward piles all across the room and seemed to be perpetually on the verge of tipping over. But, along with a small dash of personal effects, the clutter gave the office a cozy personality. It was a nice place to spend the day working.
While Gendo's office did possess personality, Fuyutsuki was positive he wouldn't be able to spend his hours locked away inside. Fortunately, only regular meetings required his extended presence.
"What do you think of Major Katsuragi's report?" Fuyutsuki queried. He stood in front of Gendo's desk, and eyed the inscrutable man curiously.
"The Second Child's school difficulties are none of our concern," Gendo Ikari stated. "And yet..."
"Yes?"
"You would agree that it is prudent to keep the pilots together, would you not, Professor?"
Fuyutsuki nodded. "It would make retrieving them for any operations significantly less time consuming than need be if the situation were otherwise."
Gendo smirked. "Among other things. So be it," he said. "Tell Major Katsuragi we will have the Second Child reinstated. Dispatch appropriate orders to Section 2."
"Yes, sir." Section 2? Fuyutsuki wondered. If Gendo was going to bring them into play, he wasn't considering simply having Asuka put back on the books. He wanted the trouble removed at the source.
The phone rang, and its piercing echo bounced for near a minute within the office's chasm. Gendo Ikari picked up the receiver and issued a clipped, "Ikari speaking."
Fuyutsuki watched as Ikari held the phone and listened. He didn't twitch, frown, shrug, or shake either. In fact, the Commander did nothing whatsoever to give any hints as to what the conversation concerned. What else is new? Fuyutsuki mused.
"I understand," Gendo said, and then replaced the phone.
"Dinner date?" Fuyutsuki quipped. He knew it was futile, but he hadn't stopped trying to pull a grin from Ikari all these years, and he wasn't about to give up now.
"The Old Men desire a meeting."
All good humor drained from Fuyutsuki's being. "The Committee? Why?"
"It would seem," Gendo said, "that current events are beginning to bear fruit."
Fruit indeed, Fuyutsuki thought. They would be lucky if this worked out as planned: very lucky.
* * *
"Well, here we are, Third Child. The very center of evil itself," Asuka proclaimed. She stopped suddenly and paused. Many of their fellow middle school students passed she and Shinji by and headed through the campus gate. "Oh crap," Asuka muttered, as she stared at the school.
"What's the matter, Asuka?" Shinji asked. "I made it here, thanks to you. There's nothing to worry about, right?" He cautiously gave her hand an appreciative yet questioning squeeze.
"It's all well and good that I've got you here," Asuka began. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the growing cacophony of morning chatter. "But I didn't consider how to get you inside."
"Inside?" Realization plied Shinji's face into a pained expression. "Oh no."
"Oh yes," Asuka countered. "Now we'll - Hey!" she yelled as a pile of boys casually shoved her out of their way. "Watch what you're doing, morons!" The gathering sea of students had completely surrounded them now, and Asuka cursed herself for letting them get caught in its current. "This is ridiculous," she muttered. "Come on, Shinji." Asuka began to pull him through the body of milling students.
The sun was bright, and the morning air was getting hot and thick with the smell of teen perspiration. By the time Asuka jostled through the edge of the crowd, she had dropped Shinji's hand and was busily fanning her nose.
"Good Lord, that was like being stuck in a pig sty," she complained.
"Where are we, Asuka?" Shinji glanced around furtively. Asuka watched and wasn't sure if he was actually trying to see or if he was listening for something that might give away their position. Either was unlikely: seeing, well, that was self-explanatory, and they hadn't moved so far away from the other children that their gabble would stop pervading as background noise.
"Not to worry," Asuka soothed. "We're far enough away from the gate not to get trampled." She wrinkled her nose. "Or asphyxiated, for that matter."
"Oh. Okay," Shinji said. He reached out till his hand found the sturdy brick of the school's wall, and then settled himself against it. "How does that help?"
Meanwhile, Asuka peeled her bangs off her forehead and thought longingly of the cold shower she would treat herself to once she returned to the apartment. Summer could really suck sometimes. "You see, Third Child," Asuka began while fanning herself anew, "now that we're out of that mess, we can think more clearly. We need to find someone who's allowed on school grounds to walk you to the classroom."
The wind swept along the top of the wall, scattering dust and pebbles in its blustery wake. A flock of birds descended upon a cherry tree and began to gorge on its fruit. The student's din softened some as more and more of them made their way onto campus.
Finally, Asuka leapt to her feet. "Ayanami!" she bellowed, smashing the silence.
The sound shocked Shinji from his contemplation, and he jerked, thrusting an elbow into the wall. "Ow," he swore as a sharp ache welled within the joint.
Asuka ignored Shinji's muttering, and ran toward the gate. She grabbed Rei's arm and yanked her out of the dwindling mass of students. "Come with me, Wondergirl," Asuka ordered, and hauled the girl back to Shinji.
Rei stumbled over her own feet as she tried both to extricate herself from Asuka's grip and keep pace with the girl. Finally, though, Asuka released her and gestured at Shinji.
"I need you to take Shinji up to the classroom."
Rei spared Shinji a barren look, and then returned her gaze to Asuka. "You are capable of performing this task, Sohryu."
"Wrong again, Wondergirl," Asuka said. "If you don't already know, the principal kicked me out of school. I'm not allowed on campus. That's why Shinji needs you." Asuka gestured between Rei and Shinji as if trying to physically shape her point from the air.
"He does not need my help, nor do I offer it."
Asuka blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Ayanami, I..." Shinji began.
"Goodbye," Rei interjected. She turned on them and left.
Asuka sputtered for a few moments before managing, "That bitch." She looked at Shinji. "Well, it looks like I'm going to have to go anyway."
"That's fine with me," Shinji said. He gave his companion a faint smile.
Asuka twined her fingers through his, and prepared to lead Shinji onto school grounds. She stopped, however, when someone tapped firmly on her shoulder.
"Not so fast," Toji said.
Asuka and Shinji turned around, and Unit 2's pilot couldn't help but smirk. "Good timing, Suzuhara," she said. "I knew you were useful for something."
"Ha ha," Toji deadpanned. Then he shrugged and laughed. "I'm more useful than Rei, it seems. She's been acting weird ever since you two got hurt."
"She was strange long before that, dimwit. Anyway, here you go." Asuka handed Shinji over to Toji. "See you later, Third Child."
"Bye, Asuka," he replied glumly.
"Don't worry, Asuka! I'll take good care of Shinji so he's still in shape to perform his marital duty when he gets home," Toji said, a sly smile stretching his mouth.
Shinji's face blossomed red and he began to stammer, while Asuka rolled her eyes and wished for the strength to be patient. "If I weren't a lady, Stooge, I'd tell you exactly what to do with that comment."
* * *
Kaji pressed the doorbell. Its drone sounded faintly within the apartment, and he tapped out an impatient tune on his forearm as he waited yet again for someone to respond. Nothing happened, though.
Kaji sighed and gave the door a quick thump. Misato wasn't home. Not even she could sleep through five minutes of liberal doorbell use.
This turn of events presented Kaji with something of a problem. If Misato was on shift at NERV, there was no telling when she might finally get home, and the information he possessed was not the kind one should sit on. But of all the courses of action he could pursue, seeking her out at NERV was the least wise. Nothing he spoke in that place could be trusted to remain secret for long. Ikari's spies were many and varied. Plus, Kaji couldn't believe that after disappearing he would be allowed to walk through NERV unhindered till he gave a full account of himself to the Commander, and until his information reached Misato, facing Ikari was something Kaji wished to avoid at all costs.
However, there might be a way of discreetly getting in touch with Misato.
Kaji grinned and fished a swiss army knife from his pocket. He glanced each way, confirming that none of the apartments' few other denizens were about and slipped the knife blade into the lock. A few moments of deft twisting and turning resulted in an audible click.
"Perfect," he congratulated himself. "Good to see I haven't lost my touch. Not that I've been sneaking into the girls' dorms for ages now, but a handy skill is still a handy skill."
Kaji opened to the door to the apartment and slipped inside. Now, if he could just contact Asuka or Shinji at school, he should be able to arrange a meeting with Misato through one of them. It was still risky, the school and the children were both monitored, but better than simply taking a nap and waiting for Misato to get home.
* * *
"Why did you refuse him?"
Rei Ayanami shifted in her seat and turned away from the small girl who stood in the aisle next to her school desk. Instead, she focused her attention on the window; Rei enjoyed the way the sunlight caused little rainbow sprinkles to flare along the glass.
Past the glass, Rei watched the sky try to contain a fleet of dense clouds. It couldn't though. The clouds refused to be barricaded over the school, and instead sliced neatly through the air like pirate cutters sailing toward prey. She envied the clouds their spirit. They would not be dominated. Instead, Rei marveled as the clouds seemingly shook their collective fist, and plowed forward to their coveted destination.
But the clouds lacked wisdom, Rei considered. While they would push forever onward, trying to achieve their goal, they still held the grayish tint of a coming storm and would eventually succumb to nature's power. Why struggle? Rei thought it much wiser to simply accept fate. Cloud or person, you could not change your fundamental makeup. Those clouds were meant for rain; they could never float happily under the sun.
"You haven't answered me."
"That is because I am trying to ignore you," Rei replied. She continued to watch the clouds.
"Is this the path you really desire?" The child's firm tone slapped at Rei's ears, trying with all their might to sneak past her defenses and worm their way inside. "Do you wish to be nothing more than the doll you spoke of? Is death such a wonderful end?"
"Yes," Rei said. The clouds had all passed, and were moving steadily off into the horizon. Rei thought she heard a faint rumble on the wind. "I can think of no other reason for such an existence as mine. I was made to serve a purpose, and then will die."
"You would gladly throw everything that is your life away? You sacrifice it for no other reason than this artificial function Ikari has warped your thoughts with."
"My mind is clear," Rei told the girl. "I have considered this long before you arrived. And yes, I would give it up to be free. I have no such 'life,' as you speak of it."
"Fool," the child spat. "You have more than you think. Even if you can't yet grasp it, the potential is there."
Rei spun from the window as the thunder cracked earnestly in the distance. "Lies. Lies. Lies! I tried," she accused the child. "I tried and nothing you said made a difference."
"You made a paltry attempt," the child sneered. "Friendship is forged, love is wrought! They are not dropped in your lap. But you are so weak you can't take the first step!"
"I am strong enough to know my limits!"
"Miss Ayanami!" the teacher shouted. She froze and found the eyes of the entire classroom upon her. Even Shinji's sightless gaze seemed fixed on her in a mockery of every other dubious, scared, disgusted, or outright confused expression offered by the class. "I don't care if you wish to whittle away my every lesson by staring out the window and learning nothing, but you WILL NOT disrupt it for others. Is that clear?"
Rei began to shake under the assault of attention. Her teeth rebounded off one another and her limbs jumped of their own volition. She was not equipped to deal with such a spectacle. Not with herself as the center of the storm. So, Rei did the only thing instinct told her: she ran.
Rei abandoned her desk, and plowed through the aisle. The teacher tried to stop her flight, but she pushed him aside and escaped through the door.
The class broke into a huge clamor as students poured theory and astonishment out to one another. The noise continued to climb until Hikari rose to her feet and slammed a textbook against her desktop. The children froze as their class representative leveled them with her best glare.
"Be quiet, so the lesson can continue," Hikari ordered them. "I don't want to hear any gossip about Ayanami for the rest of the day. Got it?"
The class nodded collectively.
"Good," Hikari said, and then returned to her seat. Her expression darkened as she settled in.
Back at Rei's desk, the child idled. She gazed at the storm clouds in the distance, and then shook her head and turned away. "So weak," she muttered. "Perhaps there is no hope."
Over the school, the sun still shined.
* * *
Asuka gaped upon her return to the apartment. The living room was clean. All the litter, the dirty laundry, and the dishes were gone. Even the stench of old beer and instant noodles no longer invaded her nostrils. The apartment hadn't been this livable since before Shinji lost his sight.
The thought put Asuka on guard. Shinji didn't do this and Misato was at work. She glanced down and saw the pair of scuffed leather shoes sitting just inside the door. Someone else was here.
Asuka painstakingly slipped off her shoes, all to aware that she may have already made too much noise coming in the front door. She looked around, but didn't see anything she could use as a weapon. Well, that cinched it then. She would have to improvise.
Asuka inched into the living room, and forced herself to analyze the situation rationally. What kind of intruder would clean the apartment? And why would he (those were most definitely men's shoes) bother taking his shoes off? Following social niceties made no sense while you perpetrated a crime.
Perhaps the intruder wanted something? But what? Was cleaning the apartment some kind of barter? If that were true, it would imply that it was someone they knew. Or at least someone Misato knew. Oh wait...
Asuka spun toward Misato's bedroom just as Kaji slid the door open. "Hi there, Asuka," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I thought I heard someone come in. You'll excuse the intrusion, won't you? But after my trip and then the housework, a good nap was the order of the day."
Asuka promptly sat on the couch. "What are you doing here?"
Kaji gave her a winning smile despite Asuka's stony tone. "Not happy to see me?" he teased.
"No."
Kaji frowned, found himself a cushion, and sat opposite the couch. He tried to coax Asuka into speaking, but she purposely avoided eye contact. Finally he said, "Shouldn't you be in school?"
"Nope. Got kicked out for fighting." Asuka decided now was an appropriate time to admire the ceiling.
"Ah." Kaji mustered another smile. "I always knew you'd achieve that ambition someday." Asuka didn't twitch. Her face remained in a cold, neutral set. "What's the matter?"
"I thought I'd be able to take a shower when I got home, but now I'm stuck entertaining."
"Bull," Kaji told her. "We've known each other for years, Asuka. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes. You're angry."
"Good call, master detective," Asuka replied derisively. "And our association is over. If you're looking for Misato, she's at work. So why don't you just return to sniffing her undergarments till she gets home and can give you a good fuck?"
Understanding lit Kaji's eyes. "So, that's what this is about. Asuka, I thought you understood that it wouldn't work between us. No matter what you might think, it's just not..."
Asuka launched herself from the couch and slapped Kaji so hard he landed on his back. He stared up at Asuka, who's seething face just begged for an excuse to let loose again.
"I'm not interested in being trapped in the kind of disgusting relationship you have with Misato. I know you chose her. But I at least thought you gave a damn about me, and that our time together counted for something!"
"Asuka," Kaji said while gingerly rubbing his cheek. "I'm still your friend. Nothing's changed."
"Oh, please." Asuka graced Kaji with a disdainful glare. "I'm not naïve enough to buy into your crap. Friends, Mr. Kaji, care about one another. They're concerned for you if you're hurt. They don't disappear. They don't screw off, leaving you alone and in pain. At least that's what I've always been lead to believe."
"I had to leave, Asuka. Things needed looking into. Misato was here to attend to you and Shinji."
"And how well that worked out," Asuka sneered. "Misato's so concerned with Shinji stubbing his toe now, I bet she wouldn't even remember to spread her legs if you showed up stark naked!" Asuka spun and thrust a fist into the couch. She remained hunched over the furniture for long moments, until she finally sank to her knees and rested her head on the cushions. When Asuka spoke again, her voice was frail and cold. "I'm nothing to her, just a tool for coddling Shinji or killing angels. I think Hikari's my only friend. Well, Shinji too, I guess. That's not saying much, though. Two friends - pretty pathetic, huh?"
Asuka hated herself for the wetness she could feel tumbling down her cheeks. She had to be strong. If she wasn't, Asuka knew she would never defeat the darkness, put Misato and Kaji in their place, and help Shinji. Crying was the escape of those unable to face life head on.
"I'm not going to argue with you, Asuka," Kaji finally said. "Misato and I will just have to prove you wrong. In the meantime, though, I need you to call Misato and arrange a lunch date."
Again, the anger welled within Asuka like a spring ready to erupt. "I told you I didn't want to be a part of..."
"I have information regarding your attack for Misato," Kaji interrupted. "And I'm sorry, but this can't wait for bruised egos, hurt feelings, or perceived slights. Enough time's already been wasted. When I came up with this plan, I forgot that your cell phones would be monitored by NERV."
Asuka turned slowly, making sure all her tears had been wiped away, and faced Kaji. "Information?" she asked.
"Yes."
"What kind?" Asuka demanded.
"The kind that shows it wasn't an accident."
Asuka's jaw clenched and she ran her fingers over her slung arm. Someone had to done this to her on purpose? Shinji faced that pitch everyday because someone wanted it? The maelstrom of anger within Asuka's heart suddenly forgot about Kaji and Misato's betrayal and yearned for a new target to rend and tear.
"All right," Asuka told Kaji. "I'll call Misato. But I'm coming with you."
"If that's what it takes."
* * *
The inquisition had begun. The committee surveyed Gendo Ikari with baleful eyes. They did not like being tricked or lied to. Betrayal was a paramount sin in their operation. Any deviance from the schedule could cause untold disaster.
"What are you planning, Ikari?" Yellow demanded.
"Your lies and subterfuge will not help you now," Blue informed the commander.
"We know the truth of the situation," Red confirmed.
Gendo Ikari waited patiently for the old men to conclude their attempt at shock tactics. They couldn't overwhelm him with information he thought was secret. He would not panic. Sometimes knowledge was leaked. That was the nature of secrets. One simply had to adapt to the new landscape.
"Could you be more specific?" Ikari asked.
"Indeed," Fuyutsuki added. "One can have many goals in the span of a single day. In fact, I have ambitions regarding a cup of tea when this meeting is over."
"Do not mock us," Yellow screeched. His affronted tone carried for long moments in the empty room.
"What are you plans regarding the Evangelion Pilots, Ikari?" White's voice, aged as it was, rose above the others and mandated their obedience.
"I plan to use them to defeat the angels," Gendo resolutely stated.
"A very nice recitation of the party line," Blue commented. "But we are not convinced."
"How does intentionally blinding the Third Child serve our purpose?" White asked.
"It does not," Gendo answered immediately. He would not give them the satisfaction of hesitation. They would see that as a confirmation of their suspicions. "The Third Child's blindness is, as I have reported, a result of an accident during a practice sortie. Dr. Akagi assures me, however, that he is making rapid progress and will regain his vision within the week."
"We know that is a lie," Green informed the commander.
"Perhaps if you told us what you believe the truth to be, we could better tailor our answers to your expectations," Fuyutsuki said.
"Enough," White interjected. "It is clear that you are unwilling to part yourself from your lies. We will discover the truth on our own. You will rue the day your usefulness to us expires, Ikari."
The committee members grunted their approval of White's innuendo, and then blinked out of existence.
"The game's afoot," Fuyutsuki said.
"Indeed," Gendo agreed. "It would seem the situation is playing out as we were told. This should prove quite interesting."
* * *
Misato chose to take her anger out on her beer, which she chugged with violent force in the small corner booth of the pub. Asuka was slightly more low-key, if not less demonstrative; her face corkscrewed itself into the most enraged expression Kaji had ever seen, and she clenched and unclenched her fist as if fighting to keep from striking till the most suitable target presented itself.
Kaji and Asuka had met Misato near the apartment, and Kaji took them to lunch at a lovely little pub he knew of. The aroma of freshly grilled fish, teriyaki, and hot sake mingled near the entrance and was almost enough to distract Asuka from her alarming curiosity.
Kaji had shuffled them indoors, and refused to divulge any of his secrets till they were seated and served. Asuka wondered if it was supposed to have helped lessen the blow. If that had been Kaji's intent, he failed miserably.
Once they were eating, Kaji collected his courage and told them everything. The attack, Germany, Ilse Adler, Azuma Matsushita, Commander Ikari, Ritsuko: he illustrated the thread that connected them all, noting what was hard fact and what was an educated guess. Despite the missing evidence and motivation, the scenario sounded all too plausible for Misato and Asuka to deny.
"That settles it," Asuka growled, "I'm going to jump in my Unit-2 and squeeze Commander Ikari's head off. It'll go pop, just like a grape from the vine."
Misato slammed her stein onto the table and wiped a liberal swath of foam from her mouth. While Asuka was barely suppressed rage, Misato radiated a grim deadliness that was equally unnerving. "That'd cause too much racket, Asuka," Misato said. "How about I just shoot him?"
"I still think ripping his head off would hurt more."
"That just depends on where I shoot him first," Misato said with a sickly saccharine smile.
"Ladies, ladies," Kaji interrupted. "Neither of you should rush off half-cocked. Ikari isn't stupid and he's well versed in dealing with enemies. I wouldn't give either of you a chance."
"What the hell do you expect us to do then, Kaji?" Misato asked him. Her voice was harsh and taught. Kaji's news seemed like it might be the stress that would finally break her.
"I don't want you to do anything more than you've been doing."
Both women glared indignantly at Kaji and offered a barrage of protests. Some of the other patrons barked nasty comments about having their meals disrupted because of the noise. Kaji smiled and indulged in some fast-talking that sent the offended parties back to their tables mollified.
"Would the two of you tone it down? I was hoping we could keep this inconspicuous."
"I'm not going to sit on my ass and ignore this," Asuka told him. She pointed at her wounded shoulder. "Did you see what he's done to me?"
"I know what happened to both you and Shinji, Asuka. And I maintain that if either of you try something you'll end up dead. And as much as I hate to admit it," Kaji said, "Gendo Ikari may be the best candidate to lead humanity out of the angel war victorious. What we have to do is keep and eye out for his extracurricular activities."
Misato slouched in the bench and idly played with her chopsticks. "He has a point," she pouted. "We do have to consider the bigger picture, Asuka."
"So, we're not going to do anything at all? I can't believe this!"
"Shh, Asuka," Kaji hushed her. "I didn't say that we weren't going to do anything. I said that we were going to keep an eye out for his side projects, and this most definitely is one of them."
"So?" Asuka said, clearly still unhappy with the direction of the conversation.
"So," Kaji began, "Misato said that Ritsuko prescribed an experimental medication for Shinji, right?"
Misato slapped her forehead. "Of course. How could I be so stupid?"
Asuka's eyes widened in comprehension and horror. "You mean that stuff is what's hurting him? But I just gave Shinji an injection this morning!"
"You didn't know then, Asuka," Kaji said. His eyes and expression were sincerely apologetic. "You did what you thought was best for him. As a friend should, like you told me this morning."
Asuka grunted an acknowledgment, but did not seem at all soothed by Kaji's words. If the medication really was hurting Shinji, then she was an accessory to his pain, to keeping him locked in the dark. Asuka thought she would be able to simply help him smash through the weakness and terror, not help perpetuate it. She wanted to help him win!
But what if she didn't win? What if Shinji was swallowed forever by the darkness? Asuka suddenly saw the ghostly Rei in her mind's eye, laughing and jeering at her failure. Asuka wanted to run away, but Rei simply gestured and the shadows bound themselves to her. They seemed to melt through Asuka's clothing, mold against her body, and then seep through her pores and into her soul. One shadow remained on the outside and grabbed Asuka around the neck. She clawed frantically at it, trying to rip herself free, but the shadow wouldn't budge. It hauled her violently upward; Asuka soared into the sky and the shadow tightened, crushing her throat until finally...
Misato put her arms around Asuka and held her. Asuka started and realized that they were still in the booth at the pub. There was no omnipresent darkness, no spectral Rei. It hadn't won over her yet. She still had a chance to save Shinji - and herself.
"It's all right, Asuka," Misato gently told the girl. "We'll get through this, we'll help each other." She titled Asuka's stricken face so that she could look into her eyes. "It's what families do."
For once, Asuka couldn't unleash a snipe. Misato had betrayed and dismissed her. She knew that Misato only really cared for Shinji, and that this was all just a ploy to get her to keep helping him. And yet, Asuka couldn't deny the sincerity, comfort, and warmth in Misato's eyes. It felt wonderful to be looked at like that.
The memory of her mother's eyes flashed in Asuka's mind. She slowly nodded and said, "All right."
"Good," Kaji said. "Now, I'd like to get a sample of the medication Shinji's been taking. I have a friend who should be able to analyze it and tell us if it's really what Ritsuko says."
"I still have the bottle in my purse from this morning," Asuka said shakily. She fumbled opening her bag, then steadied herself, and pulled out a small glass bottle. "Here you go," she said, handing the bottle to Kaji, which he quickly pocketed.
"This is the first step, ladies. The first step to fighting back."
* * *
Another school day ended. For most, it was a daily routine of long suffering capped by an eruption of jubilation. Shinji Ikari had once belonged to those happy masses; he had once enjoyed the celebration of another walk home. Today was different, however. The end of this school day still called for celebration, but of another sort.
Toji slapped Shinji heartily on the back. "See, Shinji? You didn't have any problems. What'd I tell you?" The boy grinned satisfactorily while Shinji buckled beneath his friendly assault.
"Yeah," Kensuke added, while perching himself atop a desk. "You get around pretty well for a man who can't see."
A voracious glint took Toji's eyes. "You know what, Shinji? The way you use your hands to make sure you're not going to bump into anything, it'd be perfect for getting around the girls' gym class. You've got an infallible excuse should any 'accidents' occur."
Kensuke nodded sagely. "You're one lucky dog, my friend."
Shinji couldn't repress a smile as the sound of rolled magazine striking flesh suddenly resounded through the classroom. Toji and Kensuke's cries and pleas for mercy added to the cacophony, but were familiar and comfortable. Shinji felt oddly at ease.
"Ow! Come on, please stop, Hikari!" Toji begged.
"We were only trying to show our friend how to make the best of a bad situation," Kensuke complained.
Hikari held back another strike as the two boys cowered before her. "You two were being disgusting and perverted. I'm ashamed to associate with you."
Shinji heard another swat land and Toji mutter a muted 'ow.' He would never learn, would he? All Toji had to do was clean up his act, and he could have a perfectly lovely girl all to himself. Instead, he continued to lean toward his lecherous inclinations. Sometimes Shinji thought he could understand why Asuka lamented about Hikari's taste for hours at end.
"I hope they're not bothering you with their stupidity, Shinji," Hikari said.
Shinji shook his head, and was amazed to find he was still smiling. "No, it's all right, Hikari. Actually, this reminds me of old times. I can imagine the expressions on all your faces. It's nice."
"Well, I leave them to you then. At least I know you're decent." Hikari favored Toji with another disapproving glare. "I have to go find Rei. Any thoughts on where I should look?"
Shinji shrugged. "Her apartment, maybe? NERV? I don't think she really goes anywhere else."
"Can you give me her address then?"
"Sure," Shinji said, and started to recite the information for Hikari.
* * *
Rei huddled in the corner of her apartment. Last night had shown her that the bed was useless; the pillows, sheets, and blankets offered no protection. The little girl could tear through them like nothing more than cotton balls. School was not a refuge either. The child had easily slipped into the classroom to continue her assault.
Rei had tried to flee to NERV to seek Commander Ikari's advice. Surely he would know how to get rid of this pest? But the girl had not given her the opportunity to ask. Instead, she pursued Rei, and appeared in every alley, every street to block her way.
Rei's inability to escape had sent her into a panic. She ran through the streets, pushing past the lunch crowds and knocking mothers and their small children aside. Still, the girl did not relent. Rei had tried begging those same pedestrians for help, but they had hurried away. None wanted to get involved with a schoolgirl who's distressed ravings revolved around a nearby swathe of air. These kinds of things were best left to family.
And so Rei found herself back in her apartment, having been herded like a cow to a slaughterhouse. The girl's eyes dug into her back. Rei could feel their heat crawling across her skin. Her glare stirred something in Rei; she suddenly knew, one way or another, this was to be it.
"You have no strength of heart, do you?" the child questioned her. "You would rather cower in a corner than reach for your dream."
"I dream only of being rid of you."
The child smiled derisively, and spoke to Rei as if their ages were reversed. "Then it is as I said. You admit that you've given up." Loose pieces of plaster crunched beneath the girl's feet as she closed upon Rei. "You embrace your weakness and call it destiny. You wield self-doubt like it was a great sword. Dreams, thoughts, desires for something better: none are spared. You butcher them all without remorse."
"You do not understand," Rei pleaded.
"I do understand."
The child was on her now, and Rei packed herself as tightly into the corner as possible. It seemed as if she was trying to force herself through the wall.
"I understand how fully you've given yourself to Ikari's lies and what that means for you." The girl leaned over Rei, and her every exhalation caused goose bumps to rise up on Rei's neck. "The last warmth in your heart will die," she said, "and you will become his perfect doll. You will never know friendship, you will never know family, and you will never know love. You will spend your entire existence in this room, your cupboard, only to be taken out when he wills it."
"I am not capable..." Rei stuttered, but the girl ignored her and plowed on.
"Life will pass you by, while the others around you revel in it. Possibility will bloom." The child's tone began to rise and become agitated. "Perhaps Ikari and Sohryu will become lovers. Fate may connect their hearts and they will share themselves with one another. And while they are pressed together, enjoying the heat and comfort of the other's body, you, Rei, will wallow in this dirt and filth, frozen and alone, till your coveted death takes you!"
Rei spun around and shoved the child away from her. "Yes!" she screamed. "And I will be free!"
"You will be lost!" the girl roared back, thrusting herself at Rei again. "Death will take your last chance, and you will have wasted your life and soul on everything unimportant!"
"I do not have a soul!"
"Evidently!" the girl sneered. "As you've done a wonderful job killing it!"
Kill. The word stuck in Rei's ear. It had a pleasant sound to it. The word was simple and vivacious. It had a smart tenacity. It knew what had to be done to save her.
Kill.
Rei lashed out and her hands struck smooth flesh. A feral smile split Rei's face as she adjusted her fingers around the girl's neck. The flawless, warm skin blotched and bunched in places, and then tried to push its way up between Rei's fingers.
Rei enjoyed the way the girl's eyes began to slowly bulge. They had plagued her for much too long. Seeing them swell and the veins burn a brilliant red made her feel giddy. Those eyes might just burst if she only squeezed a little harder.
The girl tried to suck in a shabby breath, but Rei contracted her grip. She felt a virile strength surge through her fingers, and it spurred her forward. Tighter! Tighter! Rei ground her fingertips into the girl's flesh, and her nails tore it aside. Warm blood flowed from the wounds and over her hands. It tumbled to the floor and settled in a happy puddle.
The girl's attempts to breath lessened, and her movements subsided. Her distended eyes twitched and then the pupils rolled out of view, leaving only milky seas shot with burning rivers.
Suddenly, the intensity that earlier radiated from Rei's gaze was gone, as was the wild ecstasy of her expression. She now examined the girl like a clinician studied a slide. She continued to throttle the child, but it was with a cold, ordered strength.
This was the way, Rei noted. This was what the Commander would have done.
"Rei."
The soft voice grabbed Rei's attention, and she swiveled her gaze away from the child, but did not let her grip lapse. She considered Hikari's presence before slightly titling her head and saying, "Miss Horaki."
Hikari tentatively approached Rei. She stepped past the discarded bandages, loose pieces of trash, and construction detritus that littered the apartment floor, and settled into a crouch next to her classmate. "What are you doing, Rei?" she asked. "You look like you're trying to hurt someone."
Rei nodded. "I must kill her," she dispassionately stated.
Hikari eyes flicked from Rei's face to her hands. The tendons stood out and her forearms were rigidly tensed. But Rei held nothing. She was trying to injure something that wasn't there.
"Why do you have to kill her, Rei?"
"She tells me lies to interfere with my purpose. I cannot allow that."
"What lies does she tell you?" Hikari asked.
Rei's stoic expression faltered for a moment. "She - she says I can be like the others."
"What others, Rei? The other Eva pilots?"
Rei shook her head. "No. Not just them. Humans."
"You don't think you can be human?" Hikari's tone was quizzical.
"I am not human."
"Why not?" Hikari challenged.
"Because I do not have a soul," Rei said.
Hikari smiled softly and laid her hand upon Rei's shoulder. "Now, I know that's not true. You most certainly do have a soul, Rei. Do you think I would be concerned for you, that I would come to see how you were, if you were some soulless creature?"
Rei's mouth fell into a frown. Her fingers loosened. "But she said that if I tried, Ikari would be my friend. I did try, but he ignored me. He would only speak to Sohryu. He can tell there is nothing in me. That is how I know she lied."
Hikari shook her head and her pigtails swung as if beating Rei's words back. "Shinji's hard to get through to, Rei. Especially now, with his injury, he has even less self-confidence than he did before. He doesn't think he's worthy of being someone's friend. I can help you if you like. I'm not a great friend of Shinji's either, but if we work together, I'm sure we can both become better friends with him."
Rei's grip faltered. "But - but I cannot be like you. I am a copy."
Hikari cupped Rei's cheek and drew her schoolmate's eyes directly to her own. "Aren't we all? We can't help who our parents are, Rei. We can only do our best with what they've given us." Hikari smiled brightly. "The eyes are the windows to the soul, you know. I see great potential in yours. That's why I want to be your friend, Rei."
"You - you can see - but I cannot. It is - it is not possible." Rei fingers slipped and her hands hung only loosely about the girl's neck. Her voice began to tremble uncontrollably. "You want to be my friend?"
Rei's eyes suddenly flooded with desperation and need. Some might have backed away, frightened by the intensity of the emotion in her look; those people spoke of friendship, but were unwilling to commit to it when it was inconvenient. Hikari did not flinch. She met Rei's eyes and sent all the warmth and encouragement she could muster through her own.
"I sincerely do, Rei."
Rei's hands fell away from the girl, and she turned fully to Hikari. Her breath hitched, and Rei felt a sudden wetness sprinkle her cheeks. When she moved to touch the tears in wonderment, Rei noticed the girl's blood no longer stained her hands.
"You see, Rei?" Hikari said. "Anyone who didn't have a beautiful soul couldn't cry in happiness. You are."
Rei nodded very slightly, and then buried her face in Hikari's shoulder as she was encircled in a compassionate embrace.
* * *
"What the hell did you bring me, Kaji?"
Kaji instantly raised his head and rolled off the counter he had commandeered as a makeshift bed. He tipped some beakers in his haste, causing them to spin precariously close to following him over the edge.
"Do you have something?" he asked, dodging various tables and large machinery till he arrived at a healthy-sized lab bench.
Dr. Yume Himeno snorted and further adjusted her microscope. "You certainly do," she said.
Kaji waited for the woman to expound, but enjoyed only her continued muttering as she fiddled with the various knobs of her microscope. It had been like this ever since he had met Yume. Unlike Ritsuko, who would intentionally freeze you out while at work, Yume dedicated herself so intensely to the task at hand that she often wasn't aware you were present.
Kaji decided to make a point of his presence. If she knew something, he didn't want to wait to find out.
He gently took Yume by the head and pulled her away from the microscope.
"Hey!" Yume protested, but it was too late. Kaji spun her stool around, and Yume was looking directly at him.
"Hi there, cutie," Kaji said with a glib lilt to his voice. "Would you mind sharing what's so interesting?"
Yume pushed her overlong bangs away from her eyes, and began to fidget with her hair. "What was it you said this stuff was again?"
"Medication. What is it really?"
"I can't be sure. It's not quite my field," Yume admitted. She gave her hair a frustrated twist.
"I trust you, Yume," Kaji said. "Your guess is good enough for me."
"I'd say it's a biological weapon, for lack of a better term."
Kaji tensed. "A weapon? How dangerous is it?"
Yume shrugged. "That depends on your definition of danger, I guess. It appears to be a modified neurotoxin. Essentially, snake venom with a few alterations and upgrades. Snakes spit this stuff on their prey and it blinds them, making for an easier catch. Your batch's been toned down some. It's designed to find and paralyze the optic nerve, probably for a specified period of time. After that, I suspect you'd need another dose to maintain the effect."
"What would prolonged exposure do to the recipient?" Kaji demanded.
"A good three to four doses of this stuff should shut your eyes down permanently."
"That's it?" Kaji exclaimed. Asuka had given Shinji another dose this morning. How many had that been?
Yume looked seriously at Kaji. "As far as I can tell, yes. That's it," she reiterated. "You can add padding to the bat, Kaji, but sooner or later a swing will still break your leg."
* * *
SEELE gathered and listened. Their operatives were about to report.
A loudspeaker crackled, and then, "We've eliminated the NERV agents and pinpointed the location of the First Child. There is another student with her."
"One of the Evangelion pilots?" White asked.
"Negative," the loudspeaker spat. "She appears to be a civilian. Orders?"
"Proceed with your mission. Take the First Child."
"Confirmed." The loudspeaker fell into silence.
"If Ikari wishes to play games," White said, "then we, my friends, must make sure the dice roll in our favor."
[End Part Seven]