Giving In
Thanks for everyone who read and reviewed this fanfic. I know it's a little sad and depressing, but I like writing stories like that! Well here's Chapter 3, it took me a while to write. I had to come up with something that could make Hiei even more down.
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A few days had passed Hiei is still in the hospital. He had refused any further treatment for his wounds, or any mental issues he was dealing with. The doctor informed Hiei that if he does not Cooperate with them, then Hiei would have to be in a mental institution. However Hiei didn't care where he went anymore, he's spirit was do beat down and broken nothing mattered to him. Kurama tires his best to convince Hiei to at least go to therapy a few times, and that he was being childish for not admitting to himself that he needed help. Not only physical help, but mental help as well. The voice still haunts Hiei, only now in his sleep. Fearing that the voice might make him do something again, Hiei so badly wanted to get drunk and wash the pain free form his soul. He knew that drinking was not enough to make him forget, but it was either that or admit his weakness. Hiei was not about to admit anything to anyone.
Finally giving up Hiei let's the doctor's do what they want to him.
In over a two week period he began seeing Dr.Saikin. A therapist who was used to dealing with difficult patients, until He met Hiei. Dr.Saikin was kind to Hiei and never pushed him to speak or open up to him. There would be times where nothing was said at all. Hiei didn't enjoy going there to him it was a waste of time.
Becoming ever more depressed Hiei starts drinking again. He had stopped for a while, and even seemed to be happy again. However the pressure was to much for him. This time it wasn't only Vodka and whisky, but pills. The doctor had giving Hiei some prescriptions pills for his wrist wounds. Not a soul new that Hiei had become addicted to pain killers. Kurama hardly ever came around to check on Hiei, and Yusuke was to busy fighting evil within the Spirit and Human world. It appears that everyone had their own problems and couldn't bare to deal with Hiei's massive problem.
Sitting alone in his dark and cold apartment, he takes a few pain killers to relieve the pain in his mind. Sickness had come over Hiei, but on the physical kind. His eyes glaze over and his sits there like he was dead. The only way he could get away from it all was getting high off of pills. Half a wake Hiei goes to the bathroom. His wrists were throbbing with pain. He unwraps the bandage as blood flows from the cuts. The wounds were not healing fast enough because Hiei never cleaned them properly. Also refusing to let anyone get near him to even look at the wounds. Infection was feeding on the deep cuts. Pouring alcohol on the wounds it stings the flesh. Hiei winces in pain he couldn't take it anymore so he grabs to the foset and turns on the hot water. Splashing water on his face to cool down, Hiei takes a long look in the mirror. His eyes were blood shouted again, and his hands had begun to shake.
"What have I become" Hiei couldn't believe his own eyes. That the man looking back at him was him.
"I told you to take your life. Now look at you, and you thought you were so smart calling 9-1-1. You can barely stand up, your nothing, but a sad and disgraceful drunk" The voice had come back.
"Shut up why don't you leave, why are you still in my brain?" Hiei screams out, he was fed up with the voice.
"You can't get rid of me I'm a part of you. Not even Dr.Saikin can get rid of me Hiei" The voice laughs evilly.
Hiei gets so enraged he bangs his head into the mirror smashing it. Praying that the voice would leave for good. Blood drips from Hiei's head and down his face. All he wanted was the voice to go away. There was a sudden knock at the door that startles Hiei. Looking around in a panic Hiei wipes away the blood from his forehead, and answers the door. It was Kurama checking up on Hiei, seeing the blood on Hiei kurama was worried.
"Hiei what's going on? what are you doing to yourself" Kurama so desperately
wanted his old friend back again. This new Hiei was going to surely be the end of the old one.
"Leave me the fuck alone fox, I don't need your fucking help" You could see the rage in his eyes. He grabs a hold of Kurama and slams him up against the wall. "Get out now. I don't want to ever see your face again" Hiei's red eyes become smaller and more cold.
"Hiei have you been drinking again?" Kurama could tell Hiei had been drinking by the smell of vokda on his breath. "I brought someone, I thought maybe you needed to see someone elses face besides mine" He trembles with fear and tries to stay calm and cool.
"Who ever is it tell them I don't need this bull shit from you are anyone else. I've done my time for this crime that you say I have committed. Now leave me be" tighting his grip on Kurama's neck.
"Hiei please I can't breath, let me go" Kurama tries to breath, but Hiei was to strong.
"Hey Guys what's going on?" Yusuke comes in and sees Hiei choking Kurama.
"Hiei what the hell are you doing" He grabs Hiei's arm and pulls him off of Kurama.
"Fuck off Yusuke this is none of your buisness" He pushes Yusuke to the floor. Once again he was pushing the ones away he needed to help him. "Both of you leave NOW" feeling a Excruciating pain in his head Hiei falls to the ground. Reaching out to Kurama for help he let's his emotions go. "I never ment to hurt anyone, but myself" tears roll down his face. Numb was the only thing that he could feel inside. Taking so much pill made him weak and tired.
"Hiei it's not your fault Yukina died. Stop doing this please Hiei, just admit it." Kurama helps Hiei to his bed and lies him down. A sudden Shame and guilt come over Kurama. Refusing to believe that Hiei had a problem at times Kurama now came face to face with it.
"Kurama how is he?" Yusuke comes into the small and dark room. He looks over Kurama's shoulder.
"He should be ok, but I think we should call the doctors just incase. You know Hiei he might try to do something again" Kurama looks at the empty bottle of pills on the nightstand. "Damm Hiei what were you thinking" he whispers to himself. The bottle was filled last week and was suppose to last two to three weeks. Hiei had mange to take 100 pills in less then a week. The only thing on Hiei's mind was addiction and when he could get his next fixed. The crying out to Kurama was only an act to Hiei. The truth is he liked the feeling of the pain, but it was the voice that was making him crazy.
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Please read and review!!!! It looks like Hiei still won't get help and now his addicted to pain killers. Will he ever admit his problem? you'll find out soon.
Thanks for everyone who read and reviewed this fanfic. I know it's a little sad and depressing, but I like writing stories like that! Well here's Chapter 3, it took me a while to write. I had to come up with something that could make Hiei even more down.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few days had passed Hiei is still in the hospital. He had refused any further treatment for his wounds, or any mental issues he was dealing with. The doctor informed Hiei that if he does not Cooperate with them, then Hiei would have to be in a mental institution. However Hiei didn't care where he went anymore, he's spirit was do beat down and broken nothing mattered to him. Kurama tires his best to convince Hiei to at least go to therapy a few times, and that he was being childish for not admitting to himself that he needed help. Not only physical help, but mental help as well. The voice still haunts Hiei, only now in his sleep. Fearing that the voice might make him do something again, Hiei so badly wanted to get drunk and wash the pain free form his soul. He knew that drinking was not enough to make him forget, but it was either that or admit his weakness. Hiei was not about to admit anything to anyone.
Finally giving up Hiei let's the doctor's do what they want to him.
In over a two week period he began seeing Dr.Saikin. A therapist who was used to dealing with difficult patients, until He met Hiei. Dr.Saikin was kind to Hiei and never pushed him to speak or open up to him. There would be times where nothing was said at all. Hiei didn't enjoy going there to him it was a waste of time.
Becoming ever more depressed Hiei starts drinking again. He had stopped for a while, and even seemed to be happy again. However the pressure was to much for him. This time it wasn't only Vodka and whisky, but pills. The doctor had giving Hiei some prescriptions pills for his wrist wounds. Not a soul new that Hiei had become addicted to pain killers. Kurama hardly ever came around to check on Hiei, and Yusuke was to busy fighting evil within the Spirit and Human world. It appears that everyone had their own problems and couldn't bare to deal with Hiei's massive problem.
Sitting alone in his dark and cold apartment, he takes a few pain killers to relieve the pain in his mind. Sickness had come over Hiei, but on the physical kind. His eyes glaze over and his sits there like he was dead. The only way he could get away from it all was getting high off of pills. Half a wake Hiei goes to the bathroom. His wrists were throbbing with pain. He unwraps the bandage as blood flows from the cuts. The wounds were not healing fast enough because Hiei never cleaned them properly. Also refusing to let anyone get near him to even look at the wounds. Infection was feeding on the deep cuts. Pouring alcohol on the wounds it stings the flesh. Hiei winces in pain he couldn't take it anymore so he grabs to the foset and turns on the hot water. Splashing water on his face to cool down, Hiei takes a long look in the mirror. His eyes were blood shouted again, and his hands had begun to shake.
"What have I become" Hiei couldn't believe his own eyes. That the man looking back at him was him.
"I told you to take your life. Now look at you, and you thought you were so smart calling 9-1-1. You can barely stand up, your nothing, but a sad and disgraceful drunk" The voice had come back.
"Shut up why don't you leave, why are you still in my brain?" Hiei screams out, he was fed up with the voice.
"You can't get rid of me I'm a part of you. Not even Dr.Saikin can get rid of me Hiei" The voice laughs evilly.
Hiei gets so enraged he bangs his head into the mirror smashing it. Praying that the voice would leave for good. Blood drips from Hiei's head and down his face. All he wanted was the voice to go away. There was a sudden knock at the door that startles Hiei. Looking around in a panic Hiei wipes away the blood from his forehead, and answers the door. It was Kurama checking up on Hiei, seeing the blood on Hiei kurama was worried.
"Hiei what's going on? what are you doing to yourself" Kurama so desperately
wanted his old friend back again. This new Hiei was going to surely be the end of the old one.
"Leave me the fuck alone fox, I don't need your fucking help" You could see the rage in his eyes. He grabs a hold of Kurama and slams him up against the wall. "Get out now. I don't want to ever see your face again" Hiei's red eyes become smaller and more cold.
"Hiei have you been drinking again?" Kurama could tell Hiei had been drinking by the smell of vokda on his breath. "I brought someone, I thought maybe you needed to see someone elses face besides mine" He trembles with fear and tries to stay calm and cool.
"Who ever is it tell them I don't need this bull shit from you are anyone else. I've done my time for this crime that you say I have committed. Now leave me be" tighting his grip on Kurama's neck.
"Hiei please I can't breath, let me go" Kurama tries to breath, but Hiei was to strong.
"Hey Guys what's going on?" Yusuke comes in and sees Hiei choking Kurama.
"Hiei what the hell are you doing" He grabs Hiei's arm and pulls him off of Kurama.
"Fuck off Yusuke this is none of your buisness" He pushes Yusuke to the floor. Once again he was pushing the ones away he needed to help him. "Both of you leave NOW" feeling a Excruciating pain in his head Hiei falls to the ground. Reaching out to Kurama for help he let's his emotions go. "I never ment to hurt anyone, but myself" tears roll down his face. Numb was the only thing that he could feel inside. Taking so much pill made him weak and tired.
"Hiei it's not your fault Yukina died. Stop doing this please Hiei, just admit it." Kurama helps Hiei to his bed and lies him down. A sudden Shame and guilt come over Kurama. Refusing to believe that Hiei had a problem at times Kurama now came face to face with it.
"Kurama how is he?" Yusuke comes into the small and dark room. He looks over Kurama's shoulder.
"He should be ok, but I think we should call the doctors just incase. You know Hiei he might try to do something again" Kurama looks at the empty bottle of pills on the nightstand. "Damm Hiei what were you thinking" he whispers to himself. The bottle was filled last week and was suppose to last two to three weeks. Hiei had mange to take 100 pills in less then a week. The only thing on Hiei's mind was addiction and when he could get his next fixed. The crying out to Kurama was only an act to Hiei. The truth is he liked the feeling of the pain, but it was the voice that was making him crazy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Please read and review!!!! It looks like Hiei still won't get help and now his addicted to pain killers. Will he ever admit his problem? you'll find out soon.