Giving In
Yes I know that the lyrics to "cry little sister" are wrong. I have the Yukina and Hiei music video with that song. It's so sad. Here's chapter 5.
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A year had passed and stills no progress with Hiei's abusive ways to himself. Never coming out of his apartment for anything beside alcohol or pills. He had stopped seeing the therapist months ago and the doctors called his place day after day. Hiei refused to answer the phone to anyone, not even his former closest friends. Unconscious on the couch for hours Hiei finally wakes up. Drinking so much that he passes out seems to be the only way to get any sleep. Dark circles formed under his eyes now, and pale and weak Hiei had replaced the old one. He gets up and goes to the kitchen for some water, and more painkillers. Numbing his soul helped to relieve the pain. Hiei was still mourning the death of Yukina, but has taking things to far. His weak hands can barely hold the glass of water long enough to take a pills with it. So Hiei just takes the pills dry. Putting the glass to close to the edge it falls to the floor breaking. Bending down to his knees he picks up the broken pieces. Accidentally cutting his hand, the thin pale red blood slowly flows from the palm of his hand.
"Ah shit" Hiei yells out and makes a tight fist. Running the hot water in the sink the wound stings and Hiei winces. A tear forms in his eyes and he lets the water run over his cut.
"My how we have changed you can't even deal with a small cut" The voice was still in Hiei's head. Only this time Hiei doesn't care. He was so used to it, not hearing the voice made he feel alone. It was the only thing in this world now that he could talk to.
"Whatever just leave me alone" Hiei rolls his eyes and cleans up the mess.
"So I see your trying to ignore me now" the voice laughs "I'm going to haunt you until your dead."
"Well that won't be long" he says in a harsh tone.
A letter falls to the floor and Hiei picks it up. He never checked his mail anymore, was getting so many bills. The only reason why he wasn't being kicked out of his apartment was because he was labeled as insane. There was no re-turn address on the letter, and only had Hiei's name and address on it. Thinking that maybe someone had just put it in his mailbox for some sick joke. Hiei throws the letter away, not realizing that it was from Yukina. She wasn't dead in fact was being held kidnapped by Shikoku. He had brought the beautiful Ice Maiden back to life, and was starting to fall in love with her. Yukina was happy where she was, but needed to tell Hiei that she was indeed ok.
"Hn probably some asshole" he shrugs and sits back down on the couch. A gun lies on the coffee table, it was sliver and small. Hiei had stolen it from a gun shop yesterday, and was planning to kill himself again. This time there will be no backing down and calling 9-1-1. He takes out a piece of paper and begins to write his suicide note. Emotions over flowing in him, he never thought that his life would end up this way. But how can he move on with his life when none cares. Kurama had turned his back on Hiei, when he needed him the most. Yusuke and the others never seemed to care in frist place in Hiei's eyes.
To whom it my concern,
The pain I feel inside is becoming to strong for me to deal with, so I must go. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I never meant for it to be like this, and what I'm about to do right now is something that I have been planning for. Please don't cry for me, because I won't. I know what I am doing to myself each and ever day. The drinking has become too much, the pill popping is too much. I hear this voice that won't go away, and that is becoming too much. I have lead myself down the rode of destruction and know I must pay for it the only way I can by taking the life that I have ruined, my own.
Love always,
Hiei
P.S Don't bring me back.
Taking a deep breath he finishes the letter and looks at the gun. Picking it put, he felt so powerful with it in hand. Hiei loads the gun, he was starting to have doubts, and the gun trembles in his hand. Thinking "There's no backing down now" slowly putting the gun to his temple, tears flow from his eyes. "God help, I'm going to hell". A gun shout was heard and small scream was let out. As Hiei...
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Another cliff hanger hehehe I love writing cliff hangers.
These chapters probably all going be some what short, but that's ok!
Here's another song!
From the Inside by Linkin Park:
I don't know who to trust your surprise
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Happy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
(Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)
[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
Tension is building inside steadily
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Happy thoughts forcing their way out of me
(Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)
[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
I won't waste myself on you
You
You
Waste myself on you
You
You
I'll take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
Everything from the inside and just throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
You
You
Yes I know that the lyrics to "cry little sister" are wrong. I have the Yukina and Hiei music video with that song. It's so sad. Here's chapter 5.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A year had passed and stills no progress with Hiei's abusive ways to himself. Never coming out of his apartment for anything beside alcohol or pills. He had stopped seeing the therapist months ago and the doctors called his place day after day. Hiei refused to answer the phone to anyone, not even his former closest friends. Unconscious on the couch for hours Hiei finally wakes up. Drinking so much that he passes out seems to be the only way to get any sleep. Dark circles formed under his eyes now, and pale and weak Hiei had replaced the old one. He gets up and goes to the kitchen for some water, and more painkillers. Numbing his soul helped to relieve the pain. Hiei was still mourning the death of Yukina, but has taking things to far. His weak hands can barely hold the glass of water long enough to take a pills with it. So Hiei just takes the pills dry. Putting the glass to close to the edge it falls to the floor breaking. Bending down to his knees he picks up the broken pieces. Accidentally cutting his hand, the thin pale red blood slowly flows from the palm of his hand.
"Ah shit" Hiei yells out and makes a tight fist. Running the hot water in the sink the wound stings and Hiei winces. A tear forms in his eyes and he lets the water run over his cut.
"My how we have changed you can't even deal with a small cut" The voice was still in Hiei's head. Only this time Hiei doesn't care. He was so used to it, not hearing the voice made he feel alone. It was the only thing in this world now that he could talk to.
"Whatever just leave me alone" Hiei rolls his eyes and cleans up the mess.
"So I see your trying to ignore me now" the voice laughs "I'm going to haunt you until your dead."
"Well that won't be long" he says in a harsh tone.
A letter falls to the floor and Hiei picks it up. He never checked his mail anymore, was getting so many bills. The only reason why he wasn't being kicked out of his apartment was because he was labeled as insane. There was no re-turn address on the letter, and only had Hiei's name and address on it. Thinking that maybe someone had just put it in his mailbox for some sick joke. Hiei throws the letter away, not realizing that it was from Yukina. She wasn't dead in fact was being held kidnapped by Shikoku. He had brought the beautiful Ice Maiden back to life, and was starting to fall in love with her. Yukina was happy where she was, but needed to tell Hiei that she was indeed ok.
"Hn probably some asshole" he shrugs and sits back down on the couch. A gun lies on the coffee table, it was sliver and small. Hiei had stolen it from a gun shop yesterday, and was planning to kill himself again. This time there will be no backing down and calling 9-1-1. He takes out a piece of paper and begins to write his suicide note. Emotions over flowing in him, he never thought that his life would end up this way. But how can he move on with his life when none cares. Kurama had turned his back on Hiei, when he needed him the most. Yusuke and the others never seemed to care in frist place in Hiei's eyes.
To whom it my concern,
The pain I feel inside is becoming to strong for me to deal with, so I must go. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I never meant for it to be like this, and what I'm about to do right now is something that I have been planning for. Please don't cry for me, because I won't. I know what I am doing to myself each and ever day. The drinking has become too much, the pill popping is too much. I hear this voice that won't go away, and that is becoming too much. I have lead myself down the rode of destruction and know I must pay for it the only way I can by taking the life that I have ruined, my own.
Love always,
Hiei
P.S Don't bring me back.
Taking a deep breath he finishes the letter and looks at the gun. Picking it put, he felt so powerful with it in hand. Hiei loads the gun, he was starting to have doubts, and the gun trembles in his hand. Thinking "There's no backing down now" slowly putting the gun to his temple, tears flow from his eyes. "God help, I'm going to hell". A gun shout was heard and small scream was let out. As Hiei...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Another cliff hanger hehehe I love writing cliff hangers.
These chapters probably all going be some what short, but that's ok!
Here's another song!
From the Inside by Linkin Park:
I don't know who to trust your surprise
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Happy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
(Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)
[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
Tension is building inside steadily
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Happy thoughts forcing their way out of me
(Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)
[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
I won't waste myself on you
You
You
Waste myself on you
You
You
I'll take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
Everything from the inside and just throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
You
You